Fleecy Tee
by Link and Luigi
Summary: Religious Bob is so religious and he wears a fleecy tee. Now flirting with fifty, it's the equally horrible sequel to Forty/Sasuke.
1. Chapter 1

**Again, bear in mind that this was written _several_ years ago and is just as horrible as its predecessor. With that, please enjoy it.**

Religious Bob is SOOOOO Religious

And Has a Fleecy Tee

"All right, Hinata…" said Kiba as he carefully led Hinata down the stairs with his hands over her eyes. "Don't peek! Don't peek!"

"I'm not peeking…" Hinata said.

"Okay, just around this corner and…" Kiba said as he took his hands away. "SURPRISE!"

"This was supposed to be a surprise?" an older Sasuke Jr. said as Hinata reveled at the amazing family.

"Wow!" she exclaimed. "It's so great to see you three!"

"Mom!" said Tashoku as she stood up and went over to hug Hinata but Hinata went right for the baby that was in her arms.

"Oh…he's so big!" Hinata said. "He must be nine months old! Does he talk yet?"

"Um…sort of." Tashoku answered. "Technically, no. We think he says 'dog'."

"Dog?!" Kiba gasped. "That was my first word too!!"

"How come you two don't visit us more often?" Hinata asked as she passed the little baby off to Kiba who was MORE than happy to accept him.

"Well, with little Sasuke, things have gotten a little crazy." Tashoku tried to explain.

"Not that he's poorly behaved or anything." Sasuke Jr. intervened. "It's just…he exists and we need to take care of him. There's really no free time at all. You guys should come and visit us."

"I wouldn't want to intrude!" Hinata said.

"You wouldn't be intruding!" said Tashoku. "You're his grandmother, after all!"

Hinata tried to smile. "Oh…I know…" she said, not liking the sound of the word 'grandmother' when being applied to herself. Then the doorbell rang. "Kiba, do you want to get the door?"

"Yes." Kiba said as he turned and left to get the door. He opened it up and standing there was the slightly smaller Uchiha family that was obviously not prepared for the door to be opened so promptly.

"If I hear one more word about the fleecy tee then—" Sasuke was reprimanding his twin sons that were almost his height when he noticed that Kiba was standing there. So he turned around. "Oh hi, Kiba, I believe that is MY grandson there. Hand him over."

"I'm holding him." Said Kiba.

"You've obviously been holding him for a long time so it is clearly my turn." Sasuke said, holding out his hands.

"No, I just got him!" Kiba protested.

"Sasuke, just let him hold him for a little while later." Ino said, putting a hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

The Uchiha family, which consisted of Sasuke, Ino, Shika, Cho and Hana followed Kiba into the other room.

"Wow!" said Kiba. "I haven't seen you, Hana, for about a year now… how's your training going?"

"It's all right." Hana shrugged. "I don't learn much ninjutsu or genjutsu."

"We work on that at home." Said Ino.

"But my taijutsu is getting pretty good." Hana said.

"And you two are…Shika and Cho?" Kiba said, looking surprised. "I still can't tell you two apart."

"Well that's why I got highlights!" said Cho. "They're sort of strawberry blond. I asked the stylist to make them darker but he just wouldn't listen."

"Cho…" said Shika. "We BOTH got highlights."

"Oh yeah…" said Cho. "Never mind then."

"Just remember that I'm in the lavender fleecy tee and Cho's wearing the mauve one." Shika advised.

"End the fleecy tee conversation right now." Sasuke commanded.

"…Okay…" Kiba said with a slow nod.

"Oh hey Sasuke!" said Shika when he noticed Sasuke Jr. standing there with Hinata and Tashoku.

"We didn't see you way over there!" Cho said. "How've you been in these past few weeks?"

"…Good." Sasuke Jr. said with a nod.

"I think it's my turn to hold Sasuke now." Sasuke said, referring to the baby.

"But he likes me too much!" said Kiba as baby Sasuke started grabbing for Kiba's face and laughing.

"He likes to just crawl around on the ground, actually." Said Sasuke Jr. "He can crawl pretty fast now and pull himself up on furniture. It might be better if we just put him on the floor."

"I haven't gotten to hold him yet." Sasuke said.

"Kiba, let Sasuke hold the baby." Said Hinata.

"Oh fine!" said Kiba, handing the baby over to Sasuke. "But he's going to hold him all night like he always does!"

"No he won't Kiba." Said Hinata. "You'll get another chance!"

Just then, a perfect distraction occurred. A ringing doorbell! So Kiba was quick to the door and flung it open to see Senjou standing there in with a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Hi!" said Senjou. "Do you remember me?"

"Um…Senjou?" Kiba tried.

"Right!" said Senjou.

"I haven't seen you for a long time!" said Kiba. "Not since your jounin exam! That was…oh…six years ago?"

"You DO remember me!" said Senjou as he reached into his bag and pulled out a dog stuffed animal with a mist village forehead protector on. "I was only going to give you this if you remembered me… but not really. I would have given it to you anyway! But I remembered how much you liked the Mist Village because we went there on a field trip once! And you liked it there!"

"I love it!" Kiba said happily. Anything that resembled a dog made Kiba happy. "Come on in!"

"Okay!" said Senjou. "Who else is here?"

They rounded the corner to see the entire Uchiha family minus Inoshi.

"Everyone that matters!" Senjou exclaimed, dropping his bag.

"Senjou!" Ino yelled as she ran over to him and hugged him. "I was so worried about you! You were supposed to be back a month ago!"

"We got lost." Senjou answered. "Kind of embarrassing. I don't want to go into it."

"That's okay!" said Ino. "I'm just glad you're not dead!"

"Dead?" said Senjou with a laugh. "Why would I be dead?"

"ANBU missions are kind of dangerous, that's why." Said Sasuke.

"Hi Dad!" said Senjou. "You guys don't have to worry about me while I'm on a mission though. I'm fine! Is that Sasuke…? My nephew, I mean?"

"Yeah," said Sasuke Jr. "You want to hold him?"

"Oh sure!" said Senjou.

"I'M holding him right now." Said Sasuke.

"Sasuke, he's never seen the kid before." Ino said.

"He has pictures." Sasuke said.

Eventually, Sasuke finally surrendered the baby to Senjou. "I've never really held a baby before!" Senjou said. "Oh guys, I'm really sorry that I missed your wedding too. I said to my team, 'Guys, it's my brother's wedding'. And they said stuff like, 'No, this mission is important'. And I said, 'Just for a few days.' And they said, 'No, this mission is important.' Of course, there was more conversation than that but in short… it was an important mission and they didn't let me leave…"

"Senjou, you're the leader of the team." Said Sasuke Jr. "You should have just smacked them around and made them all come to my wedding. Everyone in the entire village was there except you and your small band of ANBU."

"I know!" said Senjou. "Isn't that annoying?"

"I had to make INOSHI my best man." Said Sasuke Jr.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. As Kiba left the room, Hana turned to her dadoo.

"Dad, are the Uzumakis coming?" she asked.

"Most likely." Sasuke answered half-heartedly.

"Are the Rocks coming?" she said.

"We're already here!!" came a voice behind them. They turned around to see Tenten and Lee and another Lee. Seriously, Lee and Lil Gai looked completely identical except Lee was a little older…they were even the same height and everything.

"Wow, Gai has gotten so big in these past eight years!" said Hinata.

"Yes, I hardly have the heart to call him LIL Gai anymore!" said Lee. "But I do it anyway!"

"Oh Dad!" said Lil Gai

"Tenten, how are you?" said Ino in a concerned tone.

"All right…" she said with a weak smile.

"Happy anniversary, Hinata and Kiba!" said Lee, whipping out an envelope and handing it to Kiba since he WAS standing right there after all.

"Wow!" said Kiba, taking the envelope. "But I thought we said not to bring any gifts!"

"I couldn't help it!" laughed Lee. "Say…is my other son here yet with my grandson?"

"What?" said Sasuke Jr. "Lee has a kid too?"

"I believe the sunspot is…five…months?" Lee said, going into deep thought.

"Six, I believe." Tenten corrected. "I can't believe I'm a grandmother and I'm still in my forties!"

"Oh Tenten, you're forty-nine which means you're practically fifty." Said Lee openly. Tenten blinked twice while staring at Lee but it didn't appear to have any effect on him at all.

"Kiba, what do you plan on having us do during this period of time celebrating your twenty-fifth anniversary?" Senjou asked.

"Well…Hinata did most of the planning." Kiba said.

"I thought you said it was a surprise anniversary party for mom." Said Tashoku.

"It WAS!" said Kiba. "But planning it all was so hard and I was afraid that I'd mess up again like I did for our twentieth anniversary!"

The immediate family simultaneously lowered their heads in remembrance of the dreaded twentieth anniversary.

"So I asked Hinata to do the planning and then act surprised!" Kiba finished. Before anyone could respond to that, the doorbell rang again. "Aw man, does anyone want to get the door? I don't want to anymore…"

But as he was saying this, he was making his way towards the door.

"Kiba is such a thoughtful man." Said Tenten to Hinata. "You're so lucky you got to him first."

"Thank you." Said Hinata, at a loss of anything else to say.

"WHO is this little baby?!" Lee said suddenly as he ran over to Senjou who was holding little Sasuke. "He's so quiet and well behaved! He isn't YOUR son, I hope!"

"No, he's Sasuke's!" Senjou answered, pointing to his brother.

"Can I hold him?" Lee asked.

"He doesn't really like it when strangers hold him." Sasuke Jr. answered. "But we can put him on the floor and let him crawl around."

So everyone sat down on the many couches and chairs that were set up around the room and put little Sasuke down on the floor where he could crawl until hell froze over or until he crashed into something.


	2. YOU BROUGHT HER?

Then Kiba came back in with Inoshi who looked similar to the way he looked before, but just a little taller. He had a large case with him and set it down on the floor as he entered.

"Senjou, you're back!" he said.

"Hi, Inoshi." Said Senjou, standing up. "How's your book?"

"Coming along." Inoshi answered as he sat down. "Hi everyone!"

"Hi, Inoshi." Everyone chimed.

Inoshi went around the room personally saying hi to everyone and complimenting them in one way or another, commenting on the fact that he hadn't seen certain people in a few years.

"Well, Inoshi, you certainly seem different!" said Lee. "I'm proud of you! I thought it was all going to go downhill when you quit being a ninja after your first chuunin exam."

"Some people just can't handle it, right?" Inoshi said, sitting down.

"So what do you do?" Lee asked. "Write, obviously. Anything else?"

"I play the flute." Inoshi answered.

Lee looked like he didn't know quite how to respond at first.

"He's really good." Ino said.

"I'm sure." Lee said.

Kiba then left the room abruptly because he knew someone else was coming to the door and would eventually ring the bell.

"So what's your book about?" Hinata asked Inoshi.

"I can't say." Inoshi replied. "It's going to be a surprise."

"Oh." Hinata said with a nod. Then, Kiba came back in with Naruto, Sakura and their two children. Immediately, Hana and Kajitsu's eyes locked and lightning bolts shot back and forth.

"Hi everyone!" said Naruto. "How's it going? Did I miss anything?"

"Dad, you didn't tell me that Hana would be here!" whined Kajitsu.

"I thought it would be obvious since I said the Uchihas would be here." Naruto said.

"Dad, why did Kajitsu have to come?" complained Hana.

"Oh, you two have been rivals ever since Hana skipped a grade when she was eight." Laughed Kiba as if it was a laughing matter because he received glares from Hana, Kajitsu, Naruto and Sasuke all at the same time. "Boy, what was _I _on when I put you two on the same three-man-team with only a second year teacher?"

He chuckled to himself, remembering the good times.

"Pansuke, you're here too." Sasuke Jr. observed. "Are you still living with your parents?"

"No, I'm not!" said Pansuke. "I just so happen to be a chuunin working for the Hokage just like my dad! And I'm married too!"

"You're married?" said Sasuke Jr. "Who would marry you?"

"Sasuke!" said Ino in a motherly, reprimanding tone.

"The most beautiful woman ever." Pansuke answered as flower petals blew by and he was suddenly in a field with a light shining behind him. "Kobiru."

"She's been a lovely addition to our family." Sakura said, but you could tell she didn't mean it.

"I'm sorry." Said Kiba, taking Sakura's hand and looking truly apologetic.

"How come we weren't invited to the wedding?" Tashoku asked. "And where is Kobiru?"

"She's in the car." Pansuke said.

"YOU BROUGHT HER?!" yelled Kiba.

"Of course!" said Pansuke. "What was I supposed to do? Leave her at home?"

Kiba looked at Pansuke as if he was stupid. "YES!" he said.

Then the doorbell rang.

"That's probably her." Said Pansuke.

"I REFUSE to answer it!" said Kiba as he ran over to the corner of the room and pouted.

Hinata sighed. "I'll get the door then." She said, standing up. She rounded the corner and opened the door. Luckily, she wasn't faced with Kobiru but was faced with…Shino!

"Happy anniversary, Hinata." Said Shino.

"Why, thank you Shino." Said Hinata. "It's good to see you again. Did you bring your daughters like you promised?"

Shino paused. "I did." He said finally, stepping aside to reveal three little girls at the ages of twelve, ten and nine respectively. The oldest girl, Moujo, had a pretty little face that wasn't hid from the world behind a giant collar and wasn't wearing a giant overcoat. As for the two younger ones, Jijo and Sanjo, both were dressed just like Shino with their hands in their pockets.

"Hi girls." Said Hinata.

"Hi Hinata!" said Moujo. The other two just stood there stoically and then nodded their heads to acknowledge Hinata.

"Happy birthday, Sanjo, did you get our card?" Hinata asked.

"My birthday was two weeks ago." Sanjo said.

"I know." Said Hinata with a smile. "But we didn't get a chance to see you then so I'm saying it now."

"Yes, I got your card." Said Sanjo. "And the ten dollars."

"Good." Said Hinata. "Why don't you call come in?"

The family of four came in and just as Hinata shut the door, she noticed that more people were coming up the front walk so she quickly opened it again so it wouldn't look like she was shutting the door on their faces.

"Hi Shikamaru!" she said with a wave. "Hello Shikataro."

"Hi Hinata." Said Shikamaru. "Sorry we're late."

"You're not late at all." Hinata said. "You're not even last."

"Oh good." Said Shikamaru. "Happy anniversary."

"Thank you." Hinata said.

Shikamaru nudged Shikataro. He was taller and was wearing a red trench coat and had dyed his hair blond and was wearing sunglasses. He kind of looked like Vash the Stampede.

"Happy anniversary." Shikataro mumbled.

Everyone went back into the other room.

"The last time we were all together like this was at my fortieth birthday!" Lee was just saying as they came in. "And, once again, Neji is the last to arrive! Excluding my son, of course, but at my birthday party, Lil Lee was already there so I'm not even counting him!"

"Chouji's not here either." Said Hinata.

"I came in the back door!" said Chouji. Hinata looked over and wondered how she could have possibly missed him taking up half the room.

"I'm going to have to leave." Said Shikamaru.

"Don't leave, Shikamaru!" pleaded Chouji. "I promise I'll stay more than fifteen feet away from you!"

"You're not supposed to talk to me either." Shikamaru said, looking away.

Senjou got up from his seat. "Here, Uncle Shikamaru, you can sit here." He said.

Shikamaru looked Senjou up and down. "Back from your mission I see?" he commented. "You finally grew an inch."

"Really?" Senjou said. "I hadn't noticed."

"You have." Said Shikamaru. "I can tell."

"Oh, okay." Senjou said with a nod. "I trust you."

"I hear a crying baby!" Kiba declared.

Everyone looked at little Sasuke who was now chewing on his shark toy.

"Yes, Sasuke loves Sharky-shark." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Okay, then that means someone else is coming up to my house!" Kiba said as he ran off to the window. "It's Neji!"

"Neji has a small child?" said Lee, going to the window.

"Wait no, not Neji." Said Kiba.

"That's Lil Lee!" said Lee, smacking Kiba upside the head.

"My mistake!" Kiba admitted.

Lee ran to the door and flung it open before Lil Lee could ring the doorbell. "LIL LEE!!" he said happily, grabbing Lil Lee and hugging him as if he hadn't seen him for years. Lil Lee was holding one of those portable car seats and obviously had a very unhappy baby inside underneath the blankets.

"He likes you." Said Lil Lee as Lee let go of him. He handed Lee the car seat thing. "So hold him."

"HURRAY!!" cheered Lee as he scooped up the baby out of the car seat. "My first grandson!! I'm so happy!"

Lee sprinted back into the other room where everyone else was.

"Look at my grandson!" Lee instructed everyone as he held out the baby that was bawling his head off. The baby had an uncanny and disturbingly similar resemblance to Lee.

Everyone silently looked at the baby.

Then Sasuke picked up little Sasuke who was still chewing on Sharky-Shark.

"Look at MY grandson." He said.

"I already saw him." Lee said.

"He's MY grandson too!!" Kiba said. "I gave him Sharky-Shark! It was my idea!! He likes Sharky-Shark the most and therefore likes me the most!!"

Then Lil Lee came in. "Sorry, he's teething." He said to everyone. "So not only is really cranky but he bites too."

"Sasuke bites too, but for the most part he only bites Sharky-Shark." Sasuke Jr. said as he picked up Sharky-Shark off the ground since little Sasuke had dropped it.

"What's Sharky-Shark?" Lil Lee said.

"This is Sharky-Shark." Sasuke Jr. said, waving Sharky-Shark around. "Sharky-Shark _loves_ Sasuke. Sasuke _loves_ Sharky-Shark." He handed Sharky-Shark to little Sasuke who just shoved the little shark in his mouth and kept biting him.

"So your son's name is Sasuke and your shark's name is Sharky-Shark." Lil Lee concluded.

"Yup." Said Sasuke Jr., not realizing that he was being slightly mocked. "And what's your kid's name?"

"Well, his real name is Kikeiji, but we all call him Kikei." Lil Lee answered.

"And you were making fun of Sharky-Shark?" Tashoku said, raising an eyebrow.

"Guess what Lee?" said Pansuke. "_I _married Kobiru and I didn't invite you to our wedding!"

"So?" said Lil Lee. "That would be the LAST wedding I would want to go to."

"Yeah right." Said Pansuke since he couldn't think of a better come back.

"Where's Aikan?" Tenten asked Lil Lee since she wanted to avoid Pansuke and Lil Lee getting one of their famous tussles that they ALWAYS get into whenever they see each other.

"Away." Lil Lee answered. "She's taking a vacation with a few of her friends so she dropped Kikei on me."

"Well, we'll be happy to help you take care of him!" said Tenten.

"By the way, I think Kobiru is still in the car!" said Pansuke.

"And she should STAY there!" said Kiba. "I refuse to allow her to ever step foot into my house!"

"Kiba, just listen to yourself." Hinata said. "You haven't seen her for almost three years! You can't possibly still have a grudge against her."

"Yeah, Dad, she and I lost touch after she started going out with Pansuke." Tashoku said with a shrug. "She's always been one to put boys before friends."

"Just ANOTHER reason to hate her!" Kiba said.

"I'll go get her." Said Pansuke.

"No, DON'T!" Kiba said but Pansuke was already walking out the door.

Pansuke went out to the car and opened the door to where Kobiru was sitting in the passenger's seat.

"Aren't you coming in?" he asked her.

"I don't want to." Kobiru said.

"Nobody cares that you're pregnant!" said Pansuke. "No one's going to make fun of you for it!"

"THAT'S not what I'm talking about!" said Kobiru. "It's Tashoku's dad. He hates me and it's just awkward."

"…No he…doesn't…" Pansuke said unconvincingly. "I think he's over hating you by now!"

"You think so?" Kobiru said with a sigh.

"Oh yeah." Said Pansuke. "I doubt he holds a grudge for THAT long! Now come on! Let's go say hi! You haven't seen most of these people for a long time, including Tashoku!"

"You're right…" said Kobiru, getting out of the car to reveal that she did, in fact, had a bulging tummy.

It was then that Neji suddenly walked by. He was being followed by a tall boy and a shorter girl and he looked at Pansuke and Kobiru quizzically.

"Um…hi?" said Pansuke.

"Are you Pansuke?" Neji asked.

"Yes!" said Pansuke. "How'd you know me?"

"I've only known ONE male before who's had pink hair." Neji answered. "I take it this is the correct house."

"I guess." Said Pansuke with a shrug.

Neji and his two followers made their way up the front walk.

"Who was that?" Kobiru asked Pansuke.

"Uh…?" Kobiru replied with a shrug.

Neji went up to the front door and knocked. "Hichou, I trust you took all your pills?" he said.

"Well DUH!" said Hichou. "I'm not stupid."

"Of course." Neji said as the door opened.

"NEJI!!!" yelled Lee as he reached out to give Neji a warm embrace but Neji quickly pushed him away before he could do so. "Welcome to the party!! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're last to arrive."

"Why is that bad news?" Neji asked.

But Lee was distracted by the children that were accompanying Neji. "Wow!" he said. "This isn't Hichou is it?!"

"I am!" said Hichou.

"He's so tall!" said Lee. "Isn't he only…thirteen or something?"

"Yes." Neji replied.

"And who's this?" Lee said, bending down to the girl's level.

"My daughter, Hiyoko." Neji answered. "She's eight years old."

"Wow!" said Lee. Then he looked around Neji at Pansuke and Kobiru. "And look at this! Pansuke and his wife, Kobiru, whom I've heard so much about! Let's all go in TOGETHER!"

Lee led the group towards the room where everyone was hanging out only to almost crash into Lil Lee. "Dad, I'm taking Kikei into the other room because he won't shut up and he's annoying everyone." He said as he walked right past everyone without even saying HI!

"Oh my god!" said Kobiru. "That was Lee! You probably don't know this, Pansuke, but I had the biggest crush on him when I was a teenager!"

"Oh I knew." Said Pansuke.

"I'm just going to and say hi!" she said as she quickly followed after him.

"I'm coming too!" said Pansuke, just wanting to make sure nothing went down when his back was turned.

Then Tashoku came hurrying by. "I thought I heard Kobiru!" she said, sounding a little excited.

The remaining people shrugged and went into the main room area.


	3. I got a ten in hotness, guys

"Look everyone!" said Lee. "It's Neji and his progeny!!"

"Yaaaay…" said everyone, not really that excited since the only person who would care was Lee. Maybe Tenten. But mostly just Lee.

Little Sasuke began to fuss a little bit so Sasuke Jr. picked him up. "I guess he needs to be changed." He said. "Let's go find Mommy so she can change you since she loves it so much."

Sasuke Jr. then left the room with the baby and everyone got very sad because they loved the baby so much.

"So let's get to planning this thing!" said Kiba.

"Cho and I had so many good ideas." Said Shika.

"Yeah, when we first heard that it would be a party, we knew that we were going to HAVE to plan it!" said Cho.

"Well, it's already been planned, we were just talking about transportation and dress code and other things like that." Hinata said.

"So you already have all the decorations?" Shika said, looking sad.

"Yes." Hinata replied.

"Well, we'll work on dress code!" said Cho as the two of them cheered.

"I guess…" Hinata said.

At the sound of the word 'plan', everyone ranging from the ages of eight through seventeen decided that they didn't want to be present for this so they all left the room as quick as possible. This meant that the only people who were younger than the age of forty were Shika, Cho, Senjou, Inoshi and Shikataro. Senjou and Inoshi decided that they wanted to spend time with their nephew so they left the room as well. The other three decided to stay.

"Well, now that we've gotten rid of all the kids, we can talk about old times!" said Chouji.

"I thought we were going to plan the dress code!" cried Shika and Cho.

"We're not." Said all the parents. So Shika and Cho decided to leave as well.

"When did those two become so unbearably gay?" asked Naruto.

"They've ALWAYS been like that." Said Ino.

"No they haven't." said Sasuke. "They're metro sexual, not gay."

"Sasuke, admit it already." Ino said. "They're gay."

"It's just a phase." Sasuke said, crossing his arms.

"Sasuke's just angry because they can't reproduce and expand the clan if they're gay." Ino explained.

"That's not true, Ino!" said Sasuke. "Besides, I've got plenty of other kids to revive the clan. That's why we had so many. Just in case a situation like this presented itself."

Ino shrugged at everyone else.

"How about we talk about a few people that we hadn't met yet?" Tenten suggested. "Like Shino's daughters!"

"What about them?" said Shino.

"There's three of them!" said Tenten. "And your oldest one is so…pretty!"

"I know." Shino said.

"Yeah, I couldn't help but notice that she didn't really look like you." Added Shikamaru. "Except for the sunglasses, of course."

"Well, there's a reason for that!" said Kiba before Shino could reply. Kiba looked at Shino who nodded. "Shino didn't sacrifice her to the bugs and therefore she is a normal person!"

"Why?" asked everyone.

"I was…curious." Shino answered. "But the other two are real Aburames."

"That must be weird for poor Moujo." Said Sakura.

"It's not weird." Said Shino. "She's just a little different, but she's apart of our family."

"So it definitely is the bugs that make you the way you are, right?" said Lee.

"Yes." Said Shino. "The bugs are constantly feeding on chakra so it drains energy quickly. So we have to remain calm all the time or we could pass out."

MEANWHILE!!!

The children had naturally split themselves up into groups. All of the people who were thirteen and younger went in one room while all the older folks and THEIR children stayed in another.

"You may not have known this, Lee," said Kobiru. "But I had the hugest crush on you when we were little!"

"Oh…really?" said Lil Lee with a raised eyebrow.

"And to think, this baby could have been mine!" Kobiru added, leaning over and looking at Kikei's face. She made a face. "Oh! He's just…adorable…"

"I don't need you to lie to me." Said Lil Lee. "I can see him too. Then again, you married Pansuke so you could have impaired judgment of everything."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" demanded Pansuke.

"It means I hate you." Lil Lee said.

"Well, whenever you try to think you're better than me, just remember that I got the girl." Pansuke said, putting his arm around Kobiru.

"You're right, Pansuke." Said Lil Lee. "You beat me there."

"And I always WILL beat you!" Pansuke said, whipping out the chart that tallied how many times Pansuke and Lil Lee have a fight. "Look! Approximately one million to one!"

"You did NOT keep that." Lil Lee said, dumbfounded. "You did not… BRING that. Am I hallucinating?"

"No, it's real!" said Pansuke.

Sasuke Jr. looked at the chart. "You know…" he said. "I was about to make fun of Pansuke for bringing a chart like this now that we're all older and more mature… but I can't help but notice that there are VASTLY more tallies in Pansuke's section."

"It's only because he cheats!" said Lil Lee.

"Yeah but he's…a genin… you're a special jounin." Sasuke Jr. pointed out.

"I'm a chuunin!" said Pansuke.

"He's been a chuunin for almost an entire year!" said Kobiru proudly. "And I've taken maternity leave from my duties as a jounin."

"You're a jounin, Kobiru?" said Tashoku.

"Yes!" said Kobiru.

"Wow!" said Tashoku. "Congratulations! I'm just a chuunin and I don't think I'm going to get any higher than that but that's okay!"

"I'm sure you'll be able to get higher than that!" said Kobiru.

"No, no!" said Tashoku. "It's not like I CAN'T become a jounin, it's just that I don't want the responsibilities of being a jounin! Because if I'm a jounin then I'll have to go on A-rank missions that sometimes take weeks at a time. With a kid and all, I just can't afford that kind of commitment."

"Hi guys!" came Shika and Cho as they frolicked around the corner.

"Hi…" said everyone…except Lil Gai.

"HI SHIKA AND CHO!" said Lil Gai.

"HI LIL GAI!!" said Shika and Cho. The three of them embraced.

"I haven't seen you two since…yesterday!" said Lil Gai.

"Isn't that hilarious?" said Shika.

"We should have all just come together!" said Cho.

"So…what do you two do now that you're not ninjas anymore?" Kobiru asked.

"Not ninjas?" Shika and Cho said, looking confused.

"Shika and Cho are jounins." Said Inoshi.

"You two are jounins?" said Pansuke with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, haven't you heard of us?" asked Shika.

"The Stylish Duo of Konoha!" Cho said as the two of them struck a pose.

"We fight with style!" they both announced.

"WOW!!" Lil Gai exclaimed, slapping his cheeks as he marveled at their greatness. Even though he already knew about all this, it still amazed him every time they posed.

"Actually, come to think of it, I have heard of you then." Said Pansuke. "I just didn't know it was you guys."

"Who else would it be?" said Shika.

"Who else has this much style?" said Cho, showing off his mauve fleecy tee.

"Oooo…" said Lil Gai as his eyes sparkled.

MEANWHILE!!!

"But isn't is weird for you two that your teacher is here to?" Moujo asked Hana and Kajitsu.

"No!" said Hana. "I'm GLAD he's here!"

"Isn't he hot?" laughed Kajitsu.

"I guess…" said Moujo.

"But he's already married…" said Hana.

"That reminds me!" said Moujo. She ran into the other room where all the suitcases were. The other girls…and Hichou…couldn't help but follow her out of all curiosity as she searched through her suitcase. Finally, she pulled out a magazine and then had to shovel all the bugs back into the suitcase. "Look at this!"

She presented the magazine to her new best friends. It was a 'People' type magazine and, on the cover, it said, "The 25 Most _Eligible_ Bachelors of Konoha Village".

"Oh my god." Said Hana, taking the magazine.

"I know, isn't it great?" said Moujo.

"No, look." Said Hana, turning the magazine and pointing to the bachelor that was featured on the cover. "That's my brother!!"

"No way." Said Moujo. "You mean Uchiha Senjou is YOUR BROTHER?"

"Well YEAH!" said Hana.

"So that means Uchiha Inoshi and the Uchiha twins are your brothers too?" said Moujo, quickly opening up the magazine.

"THEY'RE in here too?!" Hana gasped.

"Senjou's number one." Kajitsu observed, flipping through some pages.

"Shika and Cho are number seven and eight?!" said Hana. "That's so unbelievable!"

"Why is that so unbelievable?" asked Hichou.

"Because they're gay." Hana answered. "They're not eligible bachelors."

"I guess they're eligible bachelors for the men who buy this magazine." Laughed Kajitsu.

"What number is Inoshi?" asked Hana.

"Twenty-three." Moujo answered.

"Wow." Said Hana. "I am in shock."

"Well, if they're your brothers… can we go meet them?" Moujo asked. "Please?"

"I guess." Hana shrugged. The mob went into the other room where the older wave of children were chilling. "Oh my god, you guys!" Hana interrupted even though they were all in the middle of a conversation. "Did you have any idea that the new issue of People came out and practically all of you are in it?"

She handed the magazine to Senjou who gasped. "Most _Eligible _Bachelors?" he read. "Me? I didn't know about this!"

"They don't ask you?" said Pansuke. "So that means I could be in a bunch of magazines and not even know it?!"

"I doubt it." said Lil Lee.

"Look at all these pages of me!" said Senjou, flipping through. "Where did they get all these pictures? Look at all these meters measuring my 'hotness' and 'style' and 'intelligence' and… 'sensitivity'…" He paused and read. "…I got a ten in hotness, guys."

"That's probably why you're number one." Said Shika, taking the magazine.

"I heard we were in this one too, Shika!" said Cho.

"I wonder if we're together or if we have a different number!" said Shika.

"Oh here we are!" said Cho. "Seven and eight! It's not specific!"

Shika and Cho slapped hands.

"You weren't kidding!" Moujo whispered to Hana.

"And you're in it too, Inoshi!" said Shika, folding over the page and dropping it in Inoshi's lap.

"What?" said Inoshi, picking it up. He put on his reading glasses and looked over the half a page dedication that he received. "Twenty-three? Out of how many?"

"Twenty-five." Moujo answered immediately.

"That's not bad." Said Inoshi. "I'm really surprised though."

"It's because you're an Uchiha, Inoshi!" said Cho.

"You won't find me in there because I'm married and I got the girl!" said Pansuke.

"Hey, what about me?" said Lil Gai suddenly. "I'm eligible! I'm single! What number am I?"

Everyone cleared their throats and tried to avoid eye contact with Lil Gai who was now looking through the magazine.

"Anyway, guys, this is Moujo." Said Hana with a slight giggle as she pushed Moujo forward. "It's HER magazine!"

"Stop!" said Moujo who was obviously embarrassed and was blushing.

"She wanted to meet you guys!" Hana continued.

"Hi Moujo." Said Senjou.

"Hi…" said Moujo nervously.

"Look, Shikataro's in here too." Said Inoshi. "He's number four."

"Well, he IS the Hokage's son." Said Pansuke.

"No way!" said Shika. "Shikataro is really hot."

"I know!" agreed Cho. "Especially right now. This season really works for him and I love the highlights he's got."

"He's got really high fashion." Continued Shika.

"He's so hot right now." Cho said. "It's no wonder he's number four."

"Okay…you guys are the experts I guess…" said Sasuke Jr.


	4. I just MOSTLY read Hyuuga books

MEANWHILE!!!

"So what do you think of that new Hokage?" asked Lee, trying to start some conversation.

"I've seen better." Said Naruto, somewhat bitterly.

"I doubt he'll be as good as Dad." Said Shikataro.

Shikamaru turned and looked at his son that wasn't so cloneish anymore. "What are you still doing here?" he said. "Get out of my sight."

Shikataro shrugged and left the room.

"Shikamaru, he said something nice about you!" said Ino. "That wasn't very nice of you."

"Oh, I love that kid and he knows it." Shikamaru said. "But I sometimes I just don't want him to linger around. He's still living with me. He's eighteen years old and doesn't plan on ever leaving."

"Well, eighteen is still young." Said Hinata.

"All of your kids over the age of eighteen left already." Shikamaru pointed out. "Wasn't Senjou out of the house before he even turned fifteen?"

"Yeah…but we miss him." Ino said. "He's always gone."

"And our kids that left are married too." Tenten reminded Shikamaru.

"What about Inoshi?" Shikamaru said. "He's not married and he's over eighteen. How did you get him out of the house?"

"Well, he just didn't like it very much at home." Ino said. "Most of the time he spent up in his room writing things. Then, out of nowhere, he released a book. And that was a success. He used the money from the book to get himself an apartment far away."

"I read that book." Said Neji.

"You did?" said Sasuke. "I thought you only read Hyuuga books."

"No, I just MOSTLY read Hyuuga books." Neji said.

"So what you're saying is that I have to get Shikataro to write a book?" Shikamaru asked.

"I guess." Said Ino.

"He'd never go for that." Shikamaru sighed. "That would be too troublesome. I know if MY dad told me to write a book, I'd never do it in a million years."

"Shikamaru, if you wrote an autobiography, that would probably be the most interesting thing on the shelves." Said Chouji. "Because not only did you do incredible things in your lifetime but you'd be able to word it really well since you're so smart!"

Shikamaru noticed that Chouji was slowly getting closer. "I could mention the string of incidents that happened two years ago in that autobiography too." Shikamaru said.

"No, you don't have to!" Chouji said, quickly backing away.

"What happened two years ago?" Lee whispered to Ino.

"I'll tell you later." Ino whispered back.

"I have an announcement!" Kiba said suddenly. "I've been officially working at the academy for twenty years now and I'm kind of looking in to retiring."

"But you taught Lil Gai so well!!" Lee said. "The academy NEEDS you!"

"Yeah, let me finish!" Kiba said. "I want you to tell your kids that I had in the academy to hurry up and have kids of their own so I can teach THEM! There's nothing I want more than to teach the kids of the kids I taught so I can say, 'I remember when your FATHER did this!'"

"Kiba, keep in mind that the oldest kids that you taught that are here are Senjou and Shikataro who are only eighteen." Said Sasuke. "And, while I want Senjou to have lots of children, I want him to wait until he's at least in his twenties. I don't know what you do in your family, Shikamaru."

"I'll tell him." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Okay, good." Said Kiba, sitting down.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I don't understand why he's crying!" moped Kobiru as she handed little Sasuke back to Tashoku. "I only picked him up!"

"He's usually so well behaved!" Tashoku said, looking confused as she tried bouncing little Sasuke a bit to make him feel better. Sasuke Jr. waved Sharky-Shark in front of his face for a bit and little Sasuke eventually made a grab for the little shark and started chewing on it.

"Sharky-Shark works every time." Sasuke Jr. said.

"I'm going to be having a kid soon so I have to learn how to do these things!" said Kobiru.

"Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?" Tashoku asked as she handed little Sasuke off to Sasuke Jr.

"I don't want to know!" said Kobiru.

"Well, I can kind of tell that this is a girl." Said Tashoku, putting her hand on her stomach. "Because she feels so different than little Sasuke."

"It's a boy." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Wait…you're pregnant?" said Kobiru.

"Yeah." Said Tashoku. "Oh right! I guess it's hard to tell with this sweatshirt but I am SO fat it is unbearable."

"You're pregnant?" Shika said, running over. "Get outta town!"

"I'm going to announce it at dinner, so don't tell anyone!" Tashoku said.

"Our lips are sealed!" said Cho. "But really, you're not fat at all! You could probably still fit into your jeans!"

"No, I can't." said Tashoku. "I've already gained twenty pounds."

"I'm going to have to stick around this time." Senjou said.

"There is the cutest dress in Baby Gap, Tashoku." Said Shika. "When we go shopping for the party tomorrow, we're going to have to pick it up."

"Shika, what were you doing in Baby Gap?" Cho asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Cho, listen, they have the cutest stuff there." Said Shika. "If I was a midget, then I would definitely shop there."

"That would be SO uncool, Shika, because then I'd be a midget too since we're identical twins!" said Cho but then he gasped. "Tashoku! What if you're having twins? Like us!"

"Guys, I am eight months pregnant and Tashoku is like…five." Said Kobiru. "Can we talk about my unborn child instead?"

"How about we talk about the kids that are already born?" Sasuke Jr. said.

"Yeah, that reminds me." Said Pansuke. "Lee, your kid is hideous."

"Yeah, I hope our kid doesn't look like that!" Kobiru laughed.

"Way to go you two." Said Lil Lee. "Way to insult a baby. You have to target someone who can't fight back, don't you?"

"I didn't mean it!" said Kobiru. "Hand him over! Let me hold the little button face!"

"No." said Lil Lee. "Normally, I pass him around so I don't have to hold him but I don't want you holding him."

"Why?" said Kobiru. "I need to practice!"

"He doesn't like you." Lil Lee decided.

"You can practice with Sasuke!" said Tashoku.

"No you can't." said Sasuke Jr.

"Can _I _hold Lil Kikei?!" Lil Gai asked.

"Sure." Said Lil Lee, immediately handing the blemish over.

Shikataro was, meanwhile, looking at the people magazine and reading the articles about him. He had two full pages dedicated to himself and was quite intrigued.

Senjou was being quiet and just looking at the babies and all the people interacting while grinning like a moron. He hadn't seen then for a while so he was just happy to be there.

Inoshi stayed silent for a while and decided to isolate himself in a room that was not occupied by anyone. He opened up the case he brought and took out his laptop and started typing.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Tashoku was so nice to let us look at all her stuff!" said Hiyoko as she touched some stuff on a shelf.

"I think she has all the Sexy Ninjas Unlimited magazines that I never had!" said Moujo as she pulled a box out from underneath the bed. She picked up the magazine that was on the top to see it had a picture of the entire Uchiha family. "No way! She has the Uchiha Edition!"

"Oh, we have one of those." Hana said vaguely.

"This is really old." Said Kajitsu. "Like…two years or something."

"I've been a Senjou fan for almost three years." Said Moujo, lying down on the floor and opening up to the first page. "And an Inoshi fan for a year."

"Eww…an Inoshi fan?" said Hana.

"You're just like that because they're your brothers!" said Kajitsu.

"I'm not denying that my brothers are good looking…" Hana said. "But it's just…Inoshi…"

All the girls, including Jijo, Sanjo and Hiyoko gathered around the magazine. Hichou looked around for a minute and decided that he SO did not belong there anymore so he went downstairs. Hiyoko decided that she was going to follow her older brother so she did so.

"Do we have to look at this one?" sighed Hana.

"Maybe Tashoku will let me keep this…" Moujo said.

Hana rolled her eyes and went over to the box. She pulled out a few magazines that weren't Uchiha-o-centric and started looking through them. After a moment of doing so, she suddenly gasped.

"What?" asked the girls, looking up from the Uchiha Edition.

"It's…" she started. Then she dropped the magazine down on top of the picture of Shika and Cho posing like fools. "Our teacher!"

"No way!" said Kajitsu, reaching for it but Hana snatched it back.

"_I _found it!" Hana said. "So I get to look at it first!"

"Let's all look at it!" said Moujo.

"This issue must be so old!" said Hana.

"Let me see!" said Kajitsu.

"He's only like…a few years older than us here!" said Hana as she started reading the little blurb in the corner. "He's seventeen!"

"Wow!" said Moujo. "I wish MY teacher was in Sexy Ninjas Unlimited."

"Let me see!" said Kajitsu, snatching the picture away and then swooning over it.

"How about we go and show him?" said Moujo.

"No way!" said Hana and Kajitsu.

"Why not?" asked Moujo.

"Because then he'd take it away." Hana answered.

"Okay, then let's compare." Moujo said, grabbing the Uchiha Edition and turning the page to a picture of Senjou at the age of about sixteen. "Who's hotter? Senjou or your teacher?"

"I may be biased, but I've seen Senjou doing the most UN-sexy things." Said Hana. "Besides, he's my BROTHER. So I'm going to go with Lee."

"Normally, I find Lee more sexy but comparing these two particular pictures…I'm going to have to go with Senjou." Kajitsu said.

"Well, I'm a biased, rabid Senjou fan." Said Moujo with a dreamy sigh.

"It's true." Said Jijo.

"You should see her room." Added Sanjo.

"Guys, shut up." Said Moujo absentmindedly.

"We have an album." Said Hana.

"An album?" Moujo said, her eyes lighting up.

"Dad spent the last week and a half compiling our ten thousand photo albums into one." Hana said, standing up. "Come on, I'll show it to you!"

The girls quickly stampeded down the stairs. They could hear arguments coming from the other room.

"I am NOT five foot nothing!" came Senjou. "I'm five foot eight!"

"Fine, five foot four." Pansuke said.

"You can't just determine my height like that!" Senjou said.

"What are you girls looking at?" came a voice behind them as Lil Lee suddenly appeared. He yoinked the two magazines out of Hana and Moujo's hands.

"No…wait…!" said Hana.

Lil Lee looked at the cover of the Uchiha Edition that was on the top and then turned it over. "An entire edition about your family." He commented. "I'm sure your father just eats that up."

Then he put the one on the bottom on the top. And his face fell.

"Where did you get this?" he said finally.

"Um…Tashoku's room?" Kajitsu said nervously.

"Ahh…" Lil Lee said as he went into the other room where everyone else was but TOOK the magazines with him.

"I told you he'd take them away." Hana whispered to the others.

Lil Lee went into the room and dropped the magazines down on the table.

"Lee, interesting chose of literature." Said Pansuke.

"So you're just going to move from person to person with your insulting spree?" said Sasuke Jr.

"I wasn't reading these." Lil Lee said. "Tashoku, do you have any more of these magazines?"

"Um…" Tashoku said, avoiding eye contact, secretly wishing that she hadn't let the girls fish through her room to keep them distracted.

"I'M in this issue!!" said Lil Gai as he picked up the magazine and opened up to a page. "Look, right there!" He showed everyone a picture of Lil Lee that had Lil Gai way off in the distance in the background. "Not many Rocks can say that they've appeared in Sexy Ninjas Unlimited."


	5. I hate those fleecy tees

MEANWHILE!!!

Inoshi was scribing on his expensive laptop computer. Then Hichou and Hiyoko came out of nowhere.

"What are you doing?" Hichou asked, leaning over Inoshi's shoulder.

"Writing some notes." Inoshi answered, trying to be tolerant of this thirteen-year-old that was taller than he was.

"Of what?" Hiyoko asked.

"Just some stuff I'm observing." Inoshi answered. "I have a bad short term memory so I have to write everything down or I forget it. Though, some of this stuff I'm writing down I don't think I'll forget but just in case."

Hichou and Hiyoko looked at Inoshi with blank stares. "Okay…" they both said at the same time.

Then Neji entered. "Hichou, Hiyoko." He said. "Don't bother Inoshi while he's trying to write."

"What should we do instead, Dad?" asked Hichou.

"Anything else." Neji said. Hichou and Hiyoko shrugged and frolicked off.

"Thanks." Said Inoshi, going back to his writing.

Neji stood in the doorway for a moment and just WATCHED. Inoshi tried to pretend as though he wasn't being stared down by the master of staring people down. He just kept writing. Finally, Neji approached him and sat down in the chair next to him.

"What are you writing?" said Neji.

"…Notes…for my book." Inoshi answered.

"Oh." Neji said. "I read your book and if you don't mind my saying…I'm going to be frank with you."

"Go ahead." Inoshi offered.

"I read your book…three times." Neji said. "Mind you, I normally read things twice, just in case I miss something the first time around. But after reading your book twice, I needed to read it a third time."

"Was it unclear?" Inoshi asked.

"No, it was very clear." Neji said. "I just enjoyed it."

"Oh." Inoshi said with a nod.

"And I was just curious as to when your…next book…was coming out." Neji said somewhat awkwardly. "I have to admit, I'm a fan."

"Really?" said Inoshi. "Wow. I don't know what to say. I don't normally tell people when the book is coming out though… sometime next summer I'd estimate though."

"I see." Neji said as he started standing up and walking towards the door.

Inoshi paused. "Do you want to…" Inoshi started. "…Hear what it's about? You could tell me if it's worth continuing."

"That sounds like an idea." Neji said, sitting back down.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So Sasuke, Kiba, Hinata and I made a little holiday and took little Sasuke out for the day." Ino continued her story. "Then we came to the pet store and, of course, Kiba NEEDED to go in."

"He gets so crazy without dogs sometimes." Hinata added.

"So Hinata waited outside and we all went in." Ino went on. "And we get this puppy that's the same age as Sasuke in dog years just because we thought it would be cute."

"We're getting the pictures developed right now." Hinata said.

"And we put little Sasuke on the floor and let him run around with the little doggy and it was SO adorable." Ino said.

"He had to take a bath when he got home because you never know what's on those floors." Hinata said.

"Kiba said that they might have even been—" started Ino.

"God damn it Kiba, stop that!" said Sasuke suddenly.

"What?!" Kiba said defensively.

"Stop SNIFFING me!" Sasuke said. "You KNOW I hate it!"

"Oh my god." Said Kiba, looking around for support. "I can't breathe through my nose? Is that how it is now?"

"Not when you're so obviously smelling something and facing me!" Sasuke said.

"All right, okay?" said Kiba. "Stop that, all right? Look, this is how it is. I was just smelling the kids and they're in THAT direction! Beyond that wall is where they all are! And one of the babies, I think it's Lee's kid, has a dirty diaper. EXCUSE ME for being bothered by it."

Sasuke put his head in his hand and let out a frustrated groan.

"Sasuke, it's all right." Ino said. "Calm down."

"I WASN'T sniffing him!" Kiba said.

"It's just NOT NORMAL, Kiba." Said Sasuke.

"All right, it's normal for ME, okay?" said Kiba, sounding a little offended.

"Why don't you continue the story then?" suggested Tenten to Ino.

"Oh right." Said Ino. "Where was I?"

"Kiba said something about something?" Sakura tried.

"That's right!" Ino said. "Kiba said that there might---"

"Wait, hang on." Kiba interrupted. "Could someone go in and change that kid? It's unbearable and I know Sasuke will throw another fit if he catches me being bothered by it."

Then Shika walked in holding Kikei. "Does anyone know where I can find a clean diaper for Mr. Grummy Pants?" Shika asked.

"Ask Lil Lee." Said Lee.

"You're going to change him?" Tenten said.

"In this fleecy tee?" laughed Shika as he walked back into the other room.

"I hate those fleecy tees." Sasuke said, sounding very frustrated.

"Sasuke, are you on your period or something?" Naruto asked.

"WHAT?!" demanded Sasuke, standing up.

"Lee, I have a question." Shikamaru said, easily changing the subject.

"Yes?" said Lee.

"I'm just curious about your genes." He said. "Do your unique genes have selective dominance or something because it is genetically impossible to create the pattern you have with your son and your grandson?"

"You mean Lil Lee?" Lee asked.

"Yes." Shikamaru said. "With Lee, it would be a pattern. With Gai, it would be a constant."

"Oh, we actually have an answer for that now." Tenten said. "We were quite baffled by that as well after realizing that it WAS genetically impossible. So we decided to find out about it."

They both stopped as if the story was over.

"And?" said some person who wanted to know the result.

"It turns out that Lil Lee has eight facial birth defects." Lee said. "He's SUPPOSED to look like me and have straight teeth and perfect vision and such a youthful glow but…unfortunately, there were some complications with the birth and now he looks the way he does."

"So it's in his genes to carry on Lee's 'youthful glow'." Tenten said. "Because he's supposed to look like him."

"I never knew facial birth defects could make you look BETTER." Said Shino.

Everyone looked at Shino.

"You ALL wanted to say it." Shino said.

"But we DIDN'T." Kiba pointed out.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All right…here it is." Said Hana, pulling a large photo album out from a suitcase. She opened it about a fourth of the way through. "We're just going to skip all this boring wedding stuff…"

"This is quite possibly the largest photo album I have ever seen." Said Jijo.

"Sh," said Moujo as she looked over Hana's shoulder. Hana flipped through the pages until she finally came across some baby Senjous. "He's so little! I wish I could have these pictures for my website!"

"You have a website?" said Kajitsu.

"Yeah!" said Moujo. "It's a Senjou website with a little Inoshi site branching off."

"You really ARE obsessed." Said Hana.

"Can I borrow some of these?" Moujo asked. "I just want to scan them really fast and then I'll give them right back!"

"I don't know…" Hana said. "My dad would throw a fit if he suddenly found some of his pictures missing…"

"I'll have them back before he'd even notice!" Moujo pleaded.

"How about you just look at them?" Hana tried.

"Oh fine…" Moujo said, sounding disappointed.

"Who is THAT?" Kajitsu said, pointing to a class picture that was clearly from the academy. It was Sasuke Jr.'s graduating class from when he was about twelve and Kajitsu was currently pointing to the most HORRIBLY unattractive kid in the entire class.

"I don't know." Hana said. "Some ugly kid. But look, Tashoku's here!"

"Oh, she is!" said Moujo. "That's so romantic that they were in the same class and they ended up getting married!"

"And Pansuke's right here!" Kajitsu pointed out. "And so is Kobiru!"

"Sasuke said that our teacher was in his class…" Hana said, scanning the class picture. "But I can't find him…"

"Pansuke and Lee were on the same team back when they were genins." Kajitsu said. "And Pansuke says that he beat Lee a million times. He says that Lee only beat him ONCE and the only reason why he beat him was because he brought some people to help him."

"Really?" said Hana. "Then how come Pansuke is still a chuunin?"

"He doesn't test well." Kajitsu said.

"Now is that fact or opinion?" Hana asked.

"It's FACT." Kajitsu said with a glare.

"Maybe this is him." Moujo said, changing the subject as she pointed to one of the kids in the picture.

Hana made a face. "That's a girl!" she said.

"Oops." Said Moujo.

"Let's ask him." Said Hana. "He can't take THIS away."

She picked up the album and took it in the other room as the four girls followed her. She plunked it down on the armrest next to Lil Lee. "We were looking at this class picture." She said. "But we couldn't find you. Were you sick that day?"

Lil Lee looked at the picture. Then he pointed to the HORRIBLE unattractive kid. "There." He said.

As the girls looked at him with a kind of disbelief, he just turned around and tried to ignore them. Finally, they shuffled off.

"Yeah, you were sick that day." Said Pansuke. "Sick with a bad case of UGLY!"

"Pansuke…" said Lil Lee but he looked like he was at a loss for words.

"Pansuke, how about you lay off for a little while?" Kobiru asked. "I never told you this, but I had a huge crush on him when I was a teenager."

"Not during the academy." Pansuke reminded her.

"No, actually, I think I did like him then." Kobiru said thoughtfully.

"You had an odd way of showing it." Lil Lee said.

"When I was younger, I had it all planned out!" Kobiru said. "I even had the perfect wedding in mind and how many children we were going to have and what we were going to name them!"

"Well, I don't plan on having any more children." Lil Lee said, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.

"I wouldn't either if I were you!" said Pansuke.

"We're planning on having lots of kids." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Since when are we planning something like that?" Tashoku asked. "This is the first I've heard of it."

"Tashoku…we have to revive the clan." Said Sasuke Jr. "We have to have lots of kids. I'm used to having a big family."

"Well, I'm used to having a small family." Tashoku said.

"If we don't have at least four kids then I don't feel as though I'm doing my part to reverse what Itachi did." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Yeah, I want to have three boys and three girls." Said Senjou. "So it'll be nice and even."

"That's six." Said Tashoku, looking dumbfounded.

"Six is a good number." Senjou said.

"We might even have to increase those numbers because of…you know." Sasuke Jr. said just as Shika and Cho came frolicking in.

"We changed him good!" said Cho happily as he dropped the screaming and crying Kikei on Lil Lee.

"Oh…thanks." Said Lil Lee, having mixed feelings because the baby was STILL crying.

"So what do you say, Tashoku?" Sasuke Jr. said. "Six? Maybe even seven?"

"Are you being serious?" Tashoku asked.

"Yes." Said Sasuke Jr.

"I only wanted ONE." Tashoku said.

"It's a little late for that, wouldn't you say?" Sasuke Jr. said.

"We want one boy and one girl!" Kobiru said, referring to herself and Pansuke. "Both of us come from families with one boy and one girl so we think it would be best to just continue that!"

"That's so cute that the two of you have a boy and a girl in the family!" said Shika.

"You two are perfect for each other!" added Cho.

"I didn't always think so." Kobiru said. "When I was younger, I actually kind of had a crush on Lee!"

"We know that." Pansuke said, rolling his eyes.

"And I thought the only way I was going to be happy was if I married him!" Kobiru said, ignoring Pansuke. "Then, when you got married, Tashoku, I started wondering when Lee was going to ask me!"

"We weren't even dating." Lil Lee reminded her. "Ever."

"And then HE got married!" Kobiru continued with a sigh. "I didn't know what I was going to do! Then…Pansuke came along!"

"And we knew ever since then." Pansuke said.

"Actually, there was a point in time in which I was just using you to distract myself from my depression that Lee was married." Kobiru admitted. "But after that, THEN I knew!"

"…Oh." Pansuke said with a nod. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I don't know how many times I can say this but I'm SO sorry that we weren't able to make it to the wedding." Tashoku said to Kobiru. "But the doctor says that he's never seen anyone in labor for as long as I was."

"I know, I completely understand!" Kobiru said. "But your wedding was SO beautiful!"

"I think everyone in the entire village was at that event." Shika said.

"What a LOVELY event it was!" said Cho. "The flowers were arranged so nicely."

"Why, Cho, didn't YOU arrange those flowers?" said Shika.

"And they were arranged nicely!" Cho said. "Can't I compliment my own work on occasion?"

"ON OCCASION, Cho?" laughed Shika.

"Be quiet YOU!" said Cho, playfully pushing Shika.

Just then, a mob of the oldest people ran in. "We're going out for dinner!" said no one in particular.

"YAY!!" cheered everyone.

Then they all put on some nice clothes and went to the fanciest restaurant in the land.


	6. Of course, but he's a writer

Since there was a total of thirty people there, not including the babies, it was mutually decided to get five tables. Neji, Hiyoko, Hichou, Inoshi, Lee and Lil Gai all sat at one table. Moujo, Hana, Kajitsu, Jijo and Sanjo all sat at another. Kobiru, Pansuke, Senjou, Lil Lee, Sasuke Jr., Tashoku and the two babies were at another table. Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, Shika and Cho were at another table. At the last table we had Sasuke, Shino, Shikamaru, Shikataro, Chouji, Kiba and Naruto.

"This is a really expensive restaurant." Shino observed, looking at the menu.

"Kiba, how do you plan on covering this check?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, we'll manage." Kiba said.

"What about your teacher's salary?" Shino said.

"I can afford it!" Kiba snapped.

"Don't worry, Kiba, I'll take care of the Uzumakis." Naruto said.

"And I'll take care of the Uchihas." Sasuke said, not wanting Naruto to seem more benevolent than he.

"My girls won't eat much, but I'll take care of them too." Shino added.

"I'll pay for myself!" said Chouji happily.

"Really?" said Kiba. "Wow! You guys are pals!"

Then they all looked at Shikamaru.

"Sorry, I was distracted by the imbalance of people at each table." Shikamaru said. "There's seven at this one and five at another one. Other than that, there's six at each table." He turned to Shikataro who was sitting at the head of the table so he was out of place anyway. "Shikataro, go sit someplace else or I'll beat you up."

Shikataro shrugged, stood up and left.

"Are you sure he knows you love him?" Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." Said Shikamaru. "I just wish getting him out of the house would be that easy. So what were we talking about?"

"Picking up the check." Kiba answered.

"Yeah, I'll handle Shikataro and me." Shikamaru said, waving it off.

"Well, I have to admit that I'm relieved." Kiba said. "I didn't know how I was going to pay for this, especially since I have to pay for the party."

MEANWHILE!!!

"Twenty-five years…wow." Said Tenten. "How does it feel?"

"A little unbelievable." Hinata said. "But you and Lee have been married for twenty-six years now, haven't you?"

"Oh, don't remind me." Tenten said.

"You regret marrying him?" Ino asked.

"If I regretted marrying him then we wouldn't be together for twenty-six years." Tenten reminded her. "But it's half my life, you know? It's hard to take in sometimes."

"If you could do it all again, would you do it the same?" Sakura said dreamily.

"If you had asked me that a year ago, I would have said that I wanted a girl the second time around." Tenten admitted.

"But?" Ino said.

"But after finding out that having another child that looks like Lil Lee as opposed to having a…you know, youthful glow… was close to impossible…" Tenten trailed off.

"I wouldn't change a thing about it!" Ino said as she put her arm around Shika since she was sitting next to him. He and Cho were sitting across from each other and were currently talking about their fleecy tees and couldn't possibly be bothered.

"I agree." Hinata said.

"Same here." Sakura said. "Except I would have gotten to Sasuke first!" Then she laughed a little, obviously expecting everyone else to join in too but she only received a few awkward laughs and a hard look from Ino. "It was just a joke."

"It wasn't a very good one." Ino said bitterly.

"I also would have liked to stay a ninja for a bit longer." Tenten said, trying to change the subject. "Ino, you were smart when you kept at it."

"Oh really?" Ino said, trying to engage in the changed conversation as well. "It took me away from home a lot and I missed a lot of Senjou, Shika, Cho and Hana's childhoods…sometimes I'd be gone for weeks at a time!"

"Now that's your children's jobs." Hinata pointed out. "All of you sons are jounins, aren't they?"

"Except for Inoshi." Ino said.

"Of course, but he's a writer." Hinata said, taking a sip of water.

"I've read his book." Tenten said. "It was very interesting. Also very complicated."

"Kiba tried to read it but his attention span wouldn't allow it." Hinata said.

"Well, that's good to know." Ino said. "I'm sure he'd be really happy to hear that people like his work. But you're right, Hinata, I hardly see any of my kids anymore. Either Senjou's off on some ANBU mission or Shika and Cho are doing things for the Hokage and Sasuke's got a family of his own and Inoshi can't be bothered… and Hana too! She's always off training! I have an enormous family but I never see any of them!"

"I can count on one hand how many times I've seen Lil Lee in the past year." Tenten sighed.

"That's so sad." Commented Sakura.

"Yeah…" Tenten said. "It's either his family or training your daughters… and also I can tell that he just doesn't LIKE it at home. Whenever he comes over he always makes a quick excuse to leave."

"But you'll always have Gai." Hinata said. "I can tell that boy will never be able to stay away from home for too long."

"…Yeah…" Tenten nodded.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I was afraid that he was going to leave me at the alter!" Tashoku finished telling her story.

"I was stuck in traffic." Sasuke Jr. insisted.

"Come on, Sasuke, NO ONE'S stuck in traffic for that long." Lil Lee said.

"I was stuck in traffic." Sasuke Jr. said. That was his story and he was sticking to it.

"Whatever the reason was, you were almost two and half hours late." Tashoku reminded him.

"Stuck in traffic or were you getting cold feet?" Pansuke said.

"I was THERE, wasn't I?" Sasuke Jr. said.

"I was at MY wedding too!" said Pansuke defensively.

"I never said you weren't." Sasuke Jr. said with a raised eyebrow.

"I feel so left out at this table!" said Senjou. "I'm the only one who's not married or even old enough to be married. I'm not even old enough to drink."

"Don't feel left out." Sasuke Jr. said. "Feel out of place, but don't feel left out."

"Wow!" said Senjou. "Thanks!"

"Wait, so are you like…fourteen or something?" Pansuke said.

"No." said Senjou. "I'm eighteen."

"You look like you're fourteen." Pansuke said.

"No I don't." Senjou said.

"You're only five feet tall." Pansuke said.

"No I'm not!" said Senjou. "We've already been through this!"

"Pansuke, why don't you leave Senjou alone, all right?" said Kobiru. "Let's talk about something else! Lee, why don't you tell us about YOUR wedding?"

"Small." Lil Lee answered. "Not many people came. Only close friends and family."

"Oh." Said Kobiru. She paused. "I wasn't invited…"

"Like I said." Lil Lee said. "Only close friends and family."

"I was there." Pansuke said.

"The only reason you were there is because Kajitsu was there and she can't go by herself." Lil Lee said, obviously feeling animosity towards Pansuke based on the fact that he was infecting his wedding. "If I had it MY way then you wouldn't have been there."

"I was there too." Sasuke Jr. said. "All the Uchihas were."

"All five of you." Said Pansuke.

Sasuke Jr. let out a loud groan and slammed his hands on a table. "Look, there are NOT five Uchihas." He said. "There are ten of us. Senjou is eighteen. He's also five foot eight. And yes, I was at my wedding!"

"Whoa, calm down!" said Pansuke, acting as though he did absolutely nothing to spark a reaction.

"Just ignore him." Tashoku advised.

"It's hard to ignore him when he throws in a comment about everything!" Sasuke Jr. said.

"It IS getting rather annoying." Lil Lee commented. "But it's not like everything about you doesn't annoy me so I guess my opinion on the matter doesn't really have any relevance."

"Your opinion NEVER has any relevance." Said Pansuke.

Lil Lee looked like he didn't know what to say in response to a lame come back like that. So he only looked at Pansuke for a moment before shaking his head slightly and turning away.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I know all about the Aburames." Kajitsu said to Moujo. "And I know they fight with the bugs and stuff. Sorry if this is random, but what's that like?"

"Oh, I don't know." Moujo confessed. "I'm different. I can't control bugs but I'm still an Aburame. If you want to know, ask Jijo or Sanjo."

"Okay." Said Kajitsu as she turned to Jijo since she was sitting next to her.

Jijo shrugged. "I don't know." She said. Sanjo shrugged as well.

"I would imagine it would be a little uncomfortable." Moujo said, attempting to answer the question.

"So you fight just like a regular ninja?" said Hana. "Even though you're part of an advanced bloodline?"

"Yeah." Said Moujo. "Aren't you part of an advanced bloodline too?"

"I am…but I can't use the Sharingan yet though…" Hana said. "My dad still thinks I'll be able to do it someday but I don't think so. It's one of those things that only some people get and I don't see myself on the same level as Sasuke or Senjou… since they have it and all."

"So how do YOU fight?" Moujo asked.

"When I graduated the academy, I knew mostly only ninjutsu because my brothers taught it to me whenever they were around." Hana said. "But with Lee as my teacher, I'm learning mostly only taijutsu."

"Same here." Said Kajitsu. "But genjutsu was MY forte."

"We are the only team that has text books." Hana said. "The Idiot's Guide to Ninjutsu and Genjutsu."

"What?" said Moujo. "Why?"

"Well, Lee's never actually said it but my brother told me that he can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu." Kajitsu said.

"…Why?" asked Moujo.

Kajitsu and Hana shrugged.

They were about to continue their conversation but they were interrupted a bit by some loud argumentation at the table behind them. "Why is your brother yelling at my brother all the time?" Kajitsu said to Hana.

"Because your brother needs to put in his place." Hana said. "He's SO annoying. Your brother probably said something stupid and needed to be shut up."

"Yeah right!" said Kajitsu. "I don't think it's YOUR brother's place to tell MY brother to shut up!"

"Are you saying that your newly chuunin brother could beat my brother who has been a jounin for a few YEARS?" Hana said.

"I never said that, but yeah, sure!" said Kajitsu.

"And what makes you think something like that?" demanded Hana.

"Well, my brother can beat Lee!" Kajitsu said. "The only reason why he's only a chuunin is because he doesn't test well!"

"I think there's more to it than that." Hana said skeptically.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Kajitsu said angrily.

"Shikataro, do something!" Moujo whined to Shikataro who was sitting on one side of her.

"Girls, stop arguing." Shikataro said.

"But she said her brother was better!" said Kajitsu and Hana at the same time as they pointed at each other.

"It doesn't matter whose brother is better." Shikataro said. "It just matters who's better between the two of you."

"You're right, Shikataro!" said Hana. "And I think it's pretty obvious to everyone here that I'm better than you are, Kajitsu, considering I skipped a year at the academy and yet I was still the top female ninja in the class. ABOVE you!"

"That was a year ago!" Kajitsu said. "Things have changed since then!"

"Is that what you tell yourself?" Hana said as she scoffed at Kajitsu.


	7. Won't it be fun to refresh your ninjanes

MEANWHILE!!!

"So what do you say to that?" Inoshi said as he lied out the plan for the new book. "Do you think it's too early to do an autobiography?"

"No." Neji said. "I would like to read an autobiography. I think it's entirely appropriate too, and people would want to read it just because you're an Uchiha. Especially after your previous work."

"But what do you think of the structure?" Inoshi asked. "I was thinking of dedicating a chapter to each member of my family to do a little introduction. Do you think that's a little TOO organized?"

"No, organization is a good thing." Neji said. He was about to continue, but out of the corner of his eye he caught Lee building a tower with the jelly containers and was officially distracted. "Lee…do you have to do that? Now? Here?"

"Um…I guess not." Lee said, knocking his tower over.

Neji was about to go on but then he caught Lil Gai doing the same thing.

"Is that a compulsive thing that your family does?" Neji asked.

"We're just bored, that's all." Said Lee. "Not being allowed to talk kind of does that to someone."

"Excuse me, but WE'RE trying to talk." Neji said, pointing to himself and Inoshi.

"It's all right." Said Inoshi. "I don't mind if they talk."

"I do." Said Neji.

"Why can't we sit next to each other?" whined Lil Gai.

"Because I have to sit in between my children and it's easier to talk to Inoshi if he's across from me." Neji answered as if it made perfect sense. In a way it does, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it's not nice.

"Neji, I just don't understand!" Lee said. "For thirty-eight years I tried to befriend you by being nice and open and enthusiastic! Thirty-eight years! And now, a twenty-one year old whom you've hardly even LOOKED at is suddenly the only person you want to talk to! No offense to you, Inoshi."

"Oh…um…" Inoshi said awkwardly.

"Lee, did it ever strike you that maybe I didn't want someone to be quite as enthusiastic as you to be my friend?" Neji said with a raised eyebrow.

"You know the term 'opposites attract'!" said Lee.

"No." said Neji. "That's not the case."

"Oh." Said Lee, lowering his head. "Fine."

"Dad, can we have dessert?" Hichou asked.

"No, you have to eat first." Neji said.

"But dessert's the best part." Hichou complained.

"You have to eat first." Neji repeated.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Oh, what's this?" said Chouji. "I have two napkins! Shikamaru, are you missing your napkin by any chance?"

"No, I have my napkin." Shikamaru replied.

"Do you want another one?" Chouji asked. "You never know when you might need another napkin!"

"Chouji, I saw you pull that out of the napkin dispenser." Shikamaru said.

"Oh…" said Chouji, putting the napkin down on the table. "Um…well, I have to go the bathroom then! If you want the napkin then it's right here!" Chouji quickly got up and ran off to the bathroom.

"What was that all about?" Kiba said. "He was just offering to give you another napkin."

"It's been weird around Chouji ever since he…" Shikamaru started. "I shouldn't go into it."

"Now you HAVE to." Said Naruto.

"Well, a few years ago Chouji turned into kind of a creepy stalker." Shikamaru said. "I kind of suspected it for a while but then he told me that he's actually been in love with me ever since we were fifteen."

"I can see why you got a little weird around him." Said Sasuke.

"I got myself a restraining order when it got to the point in which I thought he was going to attack me in the middle of the night." Shikamaru said.

"Don't flatter yourself, Shikamaru." Said Kiba.

"It's true." Shikamaru said. "He pitched a tent in my backyard once. He asked for a copy of my house key. He started visiting EVERY DAY."

"Okay…that IS a little weird…" Kiba admitted.

"Finally, I got a restraining order." Shikamaru said. "Chouji's a nice guy, but he's about five times my size and ten times my weight. I've been out of the ninja business for twice as long as he has and, even though I was Hokage for ten years, I was afraid for my life."

"That's sad." Shino said.

"It's logical." Shikamaru corrected.

"No, I meant it was a sad story, not that you were pathetic." Shino clarified. "I've been suspecting that Kiba's been in love with me for a little while but I haven't said anything."

"What?!" demanded Kiba. "Shino, you better be talking about some OTHER person named Kiba!"

"You have to admit, Kiba, you are very clingy." Shino said.

"I am not!" said Kiba.

"Well, for an Aburame you are." Shino said.

"I'm not an Aburame." Said Kiba. "I'm an Inuzuka. And for your information, I'm giving you your DISTANCE!"

"I'd hate to see you not giving me my distance." Shino said.

"Does he ever sniff you, Shino?" Sasuke said.

"No." Shino said.

"Shino smells bad." Kiba said.

"No I don't." Shino said.

"What, do I smell good?" Sasuke said, looking baffled.

"Yes, you do." Kiba said.

"This is getting weird." Naruto commented.

"But that's not why I sniff you!" Kiba said, realizing what he had just said had been a little weird. "It's just because you're part of the family and that's what we do in my family!"

"I am so NOT in your family." Sasuke said.

"Your son married my daughter, didn't he?" Kiba said. "That puts you in my family and me in yours!"

Sasuke shook his head and looked away.

"Geez, excuse me for living." Said Kiba, grabbing his menu and hiding behind it.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So tomorrow we're going to go shopping for clothes for the party." Hinata said when there was a break in the conversation.

"We're going shopping?" Shika and Cho said at the same time as they both interrupted their discussion about fleecy tees to turn around and put all their attention on shopping.

"Yes." Hinata said. "We want everyone to look nice for the pictures."

"We're taking pictures too?" said Sakura. "I wish I knew! I would have cut my hair!"

"We can all get our hair done tomorrow!" Tenten said.

"Yes, I was planning on taking Tashoku and…Kobiru I guess… with us." Hinata said.

"What about Hana, Kajitsu, Neji's daughter whatever her name may be and Shino's three daughters?" Ino asked, counting off on her fingers.

"I know Kajitsu would want to get her hair done." Sakura said. "She'd never forgive me if I went without her!"

"Then I guess we'll have a bit of a girl's day out!" Hinata said, sounding a bit excited. "We'll probably take off at around noon for the shopping… get our hair done at around three o'clock…"

"Three hours of shopping?" said Shika.

"That sounds like a great idea!" said Cho.

"But do you think it'll be enough time?" Shika said. "There are a lot of people after all…"

"Some people can be picky about they wear." Cho said.

"Like you two?" Ino said.

"You don't have to worry about us!" laughed Shika.

"Yeah, we're going to be off doing some MANLY shopping with the rest of the guys!" said Cho.

"Oh are you?" said Ino. "That's something I'd like to see."

"We'll go off with Dad and the rest of the gang!" said Shika.

"They'll be a fun lot to shop with!" said Cho. "It'll be like old times!"

"Just don't mention the fleecy tees around your father." Ino advised.

"What has he got against the fleecy tees?" Tenten asked. "I think they're adorable."

"That's what we think too!" said Shika and Cho.

"I don't know." Ino said. "I just don't know. All I know is that one minute he didn't care and the next… he couldn't stand them."

MEANWHILE!!!

"I'm training harder than ever for the Jounin exam!" said Pansuke.

"I was helping him but then I found out I was pregnant so I had to put that on hold!" said Kobiru.

"Pansuke, if you only JUST became a chuunin, what makes you think that you can become a jounin already?" Lil Lee asked as he subconsciously made a tower of jelly packets.

"Because I just don't test well!" said Pansuke. "I'm OBVIOUSLY ready to take the jounin exam and be a jounin and go on jounin missions!"

"You only JUST became a chuunin." Lil Lee repeated.

"Obviously the system is flawed if YOU'RE a jounin and I'm not!" said Pansuke.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Lil Lee.

"I have beat you…" Pansuke said, whipping out the list again. "One MILLION times! Which means that I am better than you are! And, personally, I'm rather disappointed that my sister got stuck with YOU as her teacher because she's likely to only learn how to lose from you."

Pansuke then leaned over to Sasuke Jr.

"How do YOU feel with this loser being your sister's teacher?" he asked.

Lil Lee knew he was above Pansuke, but it still hurt inside to know that it was true that Pansuke beat him every single time they fought.

"I love it." said Sasuke Jr., just to spite Pansuke.

"I think I'M all right with it." said Senjou. "I've seen Lee in the ANBU exams. I'm pretty sure he's worthy of teaching Hana."

"About that ANBU exam." Said Lil Lee, turning to Senjou. "I know another one is coming up in a few weeks."

"Yeah…" said Senjou, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Are you saying that genjutsu is STILL a requirement for becoming part of ANBU?" sighed Lil Lee.

"Sorry!" said Senjou. "I don't make the rules! It's just… such a huge disadvantage… I mean… if we were on a mission… and then Pansuke the chuunin walked over and used genjutsu…" Senjou paused. "It's not that GENJUTSU is a requirement. It's just… the cancel move. THAT'S a requirement."

"I'm still going to be in that exam." Said Lil Lee.

"I know you will!" said Senjou, trying very hard not to just blurt out, "You're just going to waste your time!! AGAIN!!"

"Why do you bother?" said Pansuke. "You don't know the cancel move so you can't become an ANBU."

Lil Lee was just about to commence in attempting to smite Pansuke when, all of a sudden, BIG Lee came out of nowhere.

"Are all you kiddos getting along?!" said Lee enthusiastically.

They only just looked at Lee skeptically since they were old now and didn't like being referred to as kiddos. Especially Lil Lee who was ready to go on the warpath if Lee called him that again.

"All I've been hearing at this table is the same ol' thing!" Lee continued. "I'm better than you! No, I'm better than you! No, I'm better than you! Is that all you guys ever talk about?"

"Well, tell your son that I've beaten him a million times!" said Pansuke.

"I KNOW you've beaten me a million times." Said Lil Lee. "I wasn't denying it. At all. Ever."

"What?" said Lee. "But…he's only a CHUUNIN!"

"I know." Said Lil Lee.

"But Lil Lee!" said Lee. "How could this chuunin beat you one million times when you are a SPECIAL jounin on the brink of becoming apart of ANBU?!"

"His specialty is genjutsu." Lil Lee answered.

"Oh." Said Lee. "I understand. Wow, that must be horribly frustrating for you. If only there was some way for you to beat out all of your aggressions towards Pansuke and prove to everyone that you're better than him even though he's beaten you one million times!"

Lee stood there silently for a moment and then turned away. And left.

"Lee, your dad needs some medication or something!" said Pansuke.

"Pansuke, that was pretty much the only cool thing my dad has ever done or said so don't ruin it for me." Lil Lee said.

"What are you going to do about it?" said Pansuke. "Try and fight me?!"

"No." said Lil Lee, rolling his eyes.

"Why?" said Pansuke. "Because you know I'm better?"

"You're not better." Said Lil Lee. "You just fight dirty."

"I do NOT fight dirty." Said Pansuke.

"Okay…" Lil Lee said. "Sasuke, you're just a regular jounin right?"

"What?" said Sasuke Jr., coming back into reality. "Yeah. As opposed to what?"

"A special jounin, like me." Lil Lee answered. "So that means I'm better. Pansuke, if you can't beat—"

"Wait, what did you just say?" Sasuke Jr. said. "Did you just say that you were better than me?"

"Bad move." Said Tashoku.

"Oh right, I forgot you were an Uchiha." Said Lil Lee under his breath. "Rank wise, I'm better than you."

"Rank wise, you're better than Pansuke but he's still beaten you a million times." Sasuke Jr. reminded him.

"I meant SKILL wise." Said Lil Lee.

"Then I'm better." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Can't you just work with me here?" Lil Lee requested.

"Okay, fine, Lee." Said Sasuke Jr. "You're…'better' than I am." He did the little quoteys and spoke in sort of a condescending tone. Of course, this offended Lil Lee to an unspeakable extent.

"Now I have to prove that I'm better than you too…" Lil Lee sighed.

"Good luck." Said Sasuke Jr.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So out of the three of you, who is the best?" Hana asked Moujo, referring to her and her two silent sisters.

"Uh…probably Jijo." Moujo answered.

"That's so sad." Said Hana.

"Why?" asked Moujo.

"Because you're older!" said Hana. "It must be so hard for you to have a younger sister who's better than you are!"

"No, not really." Said Moujo.

"I know when Inoshi was younger, he used to stay in his room all day because we all were better than him." Hana said.

"Well, Jijo's ALWAYS been better than me." Said Moujo. "But she can control the bugs so that's a given!"

"Eww…bugs…" said Kajitsu.

"What's wrong with the bugs?" said Jijo.

"Nothing, they're just kind of…gross…" Kajitsu answered truthfully.

"You don't just SAY that!" said Hana.

"Say what?" said Kajitsu.

Hana threw her hands up in the air and sighed.

"So do you think that in a fight, you'd lose to Jijo?" Kajitsu asked Moujo.

"Probably." Moujo said with a shrug. "You think so, Jijo?" Jijo shrugged. "I'm better at taijutsu than she is, but she's better at… everything else. Plus, I feel like a broken record, she can use the bugs."

"I just can't see myself losing to someone younger than me." Said Kajitsu.

Hana cleared her throat. "What about me?" she said.

"You don't count." Kajitsu said.

"Why don't I count?" Hana asked.

"Because you're PRACTICALLY my age." Said Kajitsu.

"I'm an entire year younger than you!" Hana pointed out. "Actually, a year and three months!"

"So?!" said Kajitsu. "That's practically nothing!"

"You only say that because you realize that you ALWAYS lose to someone younger than you!" said Hana.

"You don't beat me EVERY time!" said Kajitsu. "I beat you the LAST time we fought!"

"No you didn't!" said Hana. "That time it was a draw because Lee forced us to stop before we could finish!"

"But I was in the process of winning!" Kajitsu said, crossing her arms.

"Ahh…Shikataro, do something again!" said Moujo.

Shikataro sighed. "Just let them argue." He said.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Now all the GIRLS are fighting!" Lee observed. "We'll have to make a tournament for THEM too!"

"Lee, we don't need to have tournaments." Said Neji.

"Yes we do!" Lee said. "My son needs to show everyone that he's better than Pansuke! Hichou and Hiyoko will be in it too!"

"Well…I suppose…" said Neji.

Inoshi looked over Lee's shoulder. "No, Lee." He said. "Take me out of the tournament. I haven't been a ninja for…well, you know how long. You were my teacher."

"But it'll be fun!" said Lee. "Won't it be fun to refresh your ninjaness?!"

"No." said Inoshi. "I don't need a reminder of my ninjaness." He looked at rest of the list since Lee was currently mapping the tournaments out on a napkin. "Kobiru's extremely pregnant. She can't be in the tournament. Shikataro also quit being a ninja too."

"Inoshi, are you going to force me to get violent?" said Lee.

"Oh…sorry…" said Inoshi.

"Maybe we could have a tournament of all the RETIRED people!" said Lee. "That would be Inoshi, Shikataro…Sasuke…"

"I think, at this point, pretty much everyone is retired." Neji said.

"I'M not!" said Lee. "I went on a mission almost one month ago!"

"One month?" said Neji. "That's a long time ago."

"Well…" Lee started. "So anyway! I will put the names down entirely at random!"

"You probably shouldn't put Senjou in the tournament either." Inoshi said.

"Why?" said Lee.

"Because then there would be absolutely no mystery to the winner of the tournament." Inoshi said.

"Are you implying that Senjou would defeat Lil Lee?" said Lee.

"And Hichou?" said Neji.

"Um…" Inoshi said timidly.

"I'm putting him in." said Lee. "Unless you want to take his place, Inoshi."

"Dad, who do I get to fight first?!" asked Lil Gai, leaning over Inoshi.

"Um…" said Lee, looking around for Lil Gai's name. "Sasuke's FIRST son!"

"YAY!!" cheered Lil Gai.

"Why are you cheering?" said Inoshi.

"Because I can't wait to fight!" said Lil Gai.

"But Sasuke's a jounin." Inoshi said, still a little confused. "Aren't you only a chuunin?"

"Yeah?" said Lil Gai. "So?"

"Inoshi, I think you have a little too much faith in your own family." Said Lee.

"Well…I just know that they're all really really really…really really good." Inoshi said with a sigh.

"Not as good as Hichou." Said Neji.

"Right!" said Hichou, putting his thumb up.

MEANWHILE!!!

Actually, not a meanwhile. Everyone ordered their food, received their food, ate their food, paid for their food and then left. HURRAY!


	8. LIL LEE! TAKE OFF YOUR WEIGHTS!

When they got home, Lee told everyone of his plans for the tournaments. No one objected because they ALL kind of wanted to beat everyone up.

"Are we going to have a tournament this time?" Shino asked, referring to the oldest people.

"That would be silly." Said Lee. "Because the only people who are still ninjas among us are… me, you…uh…"

"I'm one!" said Naruto.

"Are you still a ninja, Ino?" asked Lee.

"Not anymore." Ino said. "I stopped."

"Okay, so anyway." Said Lee. "Like last time, there will be TWO tournaments. And I've already randomly drawn the names out and made this huge poster when on one was looking!!"

Lee whipped out a huge poster that was divided down the middle. It showed the maps of two tournaments drawn out extremely professionally.

"How'd you know to put Shika and Cho together?" Sasuke asked.

"Inoshi told me that they couldn't fight by themselves." Lee answered.

"Good job Inoshi." Said Sasuke.

"Uh…thanks…" said Inoshi.

"SO ANYWAY!" said Lee, taking out a pointer and extending it and pointing to the first round. "The first fight will be between Lil Lee and Hichou! The winner of that match shall fight against the winner of the match between Lil Gai and Sasuke…the younger one, but not the EXTREMELY younger one. If you just referred them as 'Lil' like I do with MY children then we wouldn't have this dilemma."

"I will NEVER call my children 'Lil'." Said Sasuke.

"The next match will be between Senjou and Tashoku!" Lee continued as if there had been no response from Sasuke.

"WHOA!" said Kiba. "Wait a second! Tashoku versus Senjou?!"

"I chose them at random!" said Lee. "RANDOM!!"

"But that's not fair!" whined Kiba. "I want Tashoku to win…"

"Dad, it's okay." Said Tashoku.

"In the final match will be Shika and Cho versus Pansuke." Lee finished.

"Wait, TWO people versus just me?" said Pansuke.

"Yes." Said everyone.

"YAY!!" cheered Shika and Cho as they hugged each other.

"We've ALWAYS fought together." Said Shika.

"In the chuunin exam AND in the jounin exam." Said Cho.

"You guys are jounins?" said Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, haven't you heard of us?" asked Shika.

"The Stylish Duo of Konoha!" Cho said as the two of them struck a pose.

"WOW!!" gasped Lil Gai.

"I feel like we've already gone through this." Said Shika.

"We HAVE, Shika, but to a different crew." Said Cho.

"And we also have the younger girl tournament." Said Lee. "But that'll take place tomorrow morning!"

"Wait, we're fighting NOW?" said Sasuke Jr. "We just ate."

"So?" said Lee. "Are you too afraid to fight my sons?"

"No…" said Sasuke Jr.

"Then all of you participating have to go and get changed into your battle garb because I KNOW you brought it!" said Lee as he tried to shoo the eight of them out of the room to where the suitcases were all located.

While they were getting changed, everyone else went into the back yard to set up a makeshift battle arena. When all of the battlers came outside again, that's when the first fight was to begin!

"I remember fighting you…was it eight years ago?" Lil Lee said to Hichou.

"Maybe." Hichou said.

"Back then you were only…really short." Said Lil Lee. "And to be honest, I was worried about pummeling you."

"You DID pummel me!" said Hichou.

"Yeah, I know." Said Lil Lee. "And your dad made me apologize. With good reason though. I felt bad about it later."

"Well now you don't have to." Hichou said.

"You're half my age though, I still feel bad about this." Lil Lee admitted.

"NO LIL LEE!!" yelled Lee. "YOU MUST FIGHT HIM!!!"

"I know!" said Lil Lee, sounding annoyed. Then he looked back at Hichou. "Are you a chuunin?"

"Yup." Said Hichou. "But everyone tells me I should be a jounin."

"Really?" said Lil Lee.

"Yes." Said Hichou.

"Okay then." Said Lil Lee with a shrug. "Let's fight then."

"LIL LEE!!" yelled Lee. "TAKE OFF YOUR WEIGHTS!!!"

The battle commenced. Lil Lee figured that he would try and get the first hit, especially if the kid was supposed to be a jounin. He hit Hichou in the side of the face, expecting him to block or do SOMETHING. But instead, Hichou was sent hurtling across the yard, through a bunch of trees and crashed into something hard that stopped him.

Everyone was in shock, but ESPECIALLY Neji and Lil Lee.

"Wait…" said Lil Lee.

"He's unconscious!" said Tenten since she had run over to check to make sure he was still alive.

"He said he was as good as a jounin!" said Lil Lee.

Neji could only gape at Lil Lee.

"LIL LEE WINS!!" said Lee.

"Wait, he said he was as good as a jounin!" Lil Lee repeated.

"If you had waited for him to use his Byakugan then that battle would have turned out very different!" said Neji after he came to terms with everything. He went over to make sure Hichou was all right.

"He's only…I don't know…fifteen…" said Lil Lee. "I can't believe I did that AGAIN."

"Actually, he's thirteen." Said Hiyoko.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that he wasn't on the level of a jounin like he was saying?!" Lil Lee demanded. "I wouldn't have hit him that hard!"

"He IS on the level of a jounin." Said Neji. "As I previously explained, he did not have time to use his Byakugan so he was unprepared for the fight. I think you owe the both of us an apology."

"NO HE DOESN'T!!" yelled Lee.

"Sorry." Said Lil Lee, bowing his head in shame.

"Lee, you don't have to apologize for beating people up!" said Lee. "Especially if it's Neji or anyone related to Neji!"

"Let's just get on to the next fight." Said Sasuke since he was looking at the tournament plan and saw that his son was fighting next.

"Oh fine…" said Lee. "The next fight is between Lil Sasuke and Lil Gai!"

"Lil Sasuke?" said Sasuke Jr., looking BEYOND confused.

"You didn't just call him that." Said Sasuke.

"Yes I did." Said Lee. "It avoided confusion."

"But we wouldn't have been confused because he's the ONLY Sasuke in the tournament!" said Sasuke. "And I wouldn't have said, 'Hey! Wait! I'M not in the tournament!' Besides, it only added MORE confusion because you confused Sasuke just by saying it!"

"Sasuke, just drop it." said Ino.

"Look, Daddy's fighting!" said Tashoku to little Sasuke as she played with him and tried to keep him happy.

"All right, I don't want this to be over in just one punch." Said Sasuke Jr. "So you don't need to do anything to get yourself in the zone, do you?"

"I'm ALWAYS in the zone!" said Lil Gai, looking determined.

"Okay then." Said Sasuke Jr. as he applied his Sharingan. "Chuunin, are you?"

"YES!" said Lil Gai, getting pumped.

"Well, you're lucky that I understand the amount of required force needed to defeat a chuunin." Sasuke Jr. said, eyeing Lil Lee who turned his head away in shame. "How old are you, Gai?"

"Seventeen!" said Lil Gai. "And I'm LIL Gai!"

"You're awfully tall." Sasuke Jr. observed. "I hate being short…"

"YOU hate being short?!" said Senjou.

"Come on!" said Lil Gai. "FIGHT ME!!"

"I AM fighting you." Said Sasuke Jr. "I like to talk to my opponents before I start fighting them. But I guess we could start now if you're in that much of a hurry to lose."

"I'm not going to lose!" said Lil Gai but then he realized that Sasuke Jr. had just used his fire moves that never work. Lil Gai was able to dodge just in time.

"Sasuke, how many times do I have to tell you that those never work?!" demanded Tashoku.

"At least I'm not the ONLY one who sees it!" said Ino.

"Those moves work approximately 85 percent of the time." Said Sasuke.

"Where did you pull that number from?!" said Ino.

"They're special Uchiha moves that's passed down from father to son!" said Sasuke. "I learned them from my father and Sasuke and the rest of my sons and daughter learned them from me! Even Inoshi learned them! And all of my children will teach them to THEIR children too! And so on and so forth!"

"I would say that sounds ridiculous but I would never hear the end of it." Ino whispered to Hinata.

"That sounds ridiculous." Said Naruto.

"What does?!" demanded Sasuke.

"HEY!" said Lil Gai. "We're trying to have an intense battle here!!"

Everyone was more or less silenced after that.

"Okay, what moves should I use to defeat you?" Sasuke Jr. wondered out loud. "Do you have any weaknesses, Gai?"

"Like I'd tell you!" said Lil Gai.

"Not many people do." Said Sasuke Jr. "But I've gotten lucky a few times so I figure I might as well try."

"People tell you their weaknesses sometimes?" Lil Gai said, looking confused.

As Lil Gai stood there and pondered the ludicriousness of that, Sasuke Jr. suddenly decided that it was a good time to attack so he formed some hand seals. "Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu!" he announced as the shadow hand formed and started creeping up Lil Gai's leg.

"OH MY GOD!!" yelled Lil Gai. "IT'S A HAND!! I'M SO SCARED!! IT'S A HAND!! I'M GOING TO DROP OUT!!!"

But before Lil Gai could say anymore, the hand retracted back to Sasuke Jr.

"WHY did you do that?" Sasuke said. "He was about to drop out."

"Did you see how he reacted to that?" Sasuke Jr. said. "That took ALL the fun out of this fight."

"PHEW!" said Lil Gai, wiping his forehead. "That was a scary hand!"

"I can never use that move again now!" said Sasuke Jr. "Because I'll just think about that reaction!"

"That was all part of the plan!" said Lee. "Lil Gai KNEW it would offend you if he reacted like that, right Lil Gai?!"

"YEAH!" said Lil Gai. "AND the hand was really scary. It's shadowy and scary and long. I don't like it at all."

"Great, now I can't use ANY shadow moves." Said Sasuke Jr., sounding exasperated.

"Don't let it bother you, Sasuke." Said Tashoku.

"I am SO bothered." Said Sasuke Jr. He walked right up to Lil Gai who as just standing there obliviously, grabbed his shoulders and then kneed him right in the stomach. Then, while Lil Gai was all in shock, Sasuke Jr. judo chopped him in the back of the neck, making him collapse.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!" yelled Lee.

"I just couldn't even fight him anymore." Sasuke Jr. sighed.

"I was afraid for a minute there that I'd have to fight Gai." Said Lil Lee.

There was a slight hold up in the tournament as Tenten and Lee caressed their unconscious son for a while before they finally carried him off the battlefield.

"Okay, as the official stand-in for Lee when his son is knocked out, I will start the next battle!" Kiba said. "This is a battle between Tashoku and Senjou, much to my dismay!"

"I can't fight Tashoku!" said Senjou immediately, not even bothering to go into the fighting area.

"What are you talking about?" said Sasuke. "Of course you can beat her."

"Well I know I can beat her." Said Senjou. "But I just won't be able to fight her. She's my sister-in-law! And…" He was about to say that she was pregnant, but then he remembered that it was supposed to be a secret. "Besides, I think it would be more interesting if I WASN'T in the tournament."

"Senjou." Said Sasuke. "All the guys made bets and I bet on you. You can't drop out now."

"Don't worry Sasuke." Said Shikamaru. "We ALL bet on Senjou so we can all just re-bet."

"I bet on Lil Lee!" said Lee. "And no doubt Neji bet on Hichou!"

"I'm not ignorant, Lee." Said Neji. "I have more sense than that. I bet on Senjou, leader of the ANBU squad and, while I know Hichou is an incredible fighter, I know that even if he were to make it to the finals with Senjou, he would not be able to beat him. I can go around SAYING that Hichou will win but I'm not about to risk money on it."

"I'm not ignorant either!" said Lee. "I believe Lil Lee can win!!"

"Okay, so Lee's staying with his son and we're all going to change our bets." Said Naruto.

"Wait, doesn't that mean that I WIN?!" said Lee.

"Sh." Said everyone.

"So I guess I win this match?" said Tashoku.

"Yeah!" said Senjou.

Sasuke slapped his forehead. He wanted to show off to everyone JUST how awesome Senjou was. Everyone knew he was awesome, but he just wanted to flaunt it.

"Okay…" said Kiba. "So what are the new bets?"

Everyone huddled around a list and discretely made bets.

"All right!" said Lee, pushing Kiba out of the way. "This is MY job! The last fight in the first round is Pansuke versus Shika and Cho!"

"I can't believe I have to fight TWO people!" said Pansuke. "That is so not fair."

"Don't worry about it Pansuke!" said Sakura. "We love you no matter what!"

"Come on, Cho!" said Shika. "Let's show Pansuke what we're made of!"

"You said it, Shika!" said Cho. "For we are…"

"This Stylish Duo of Konoha!!" said Shika and Cho together as they whipped out two enormous weapons that were extremely sharp and pointy and glistened in the sun. Then they struck a pose with their weapons.

"No, no…" said Pansuke. "I can't fight against two people…with weapons."

"Yes you can Pansuke!" cheered Naruto.

"No…no I really can't." Pansuke said, backing away slightly.

"Don't worry, Pansuke, we know the cancel move!" said Shika.

"Oh, Shika, then he SHOULD be worried, shouldn't he?" said Cho.

"I guess he should be!" laughed Shika.

"Not all genjutsu can be canceled!" said Pansuke, a little annoyed that he had been dissed.

"Don't let their gayness offend you!" said Naruto.

"WHAT?!" said Sasuke, turning to Naruto.

"Sasuke, you have to admit, your sons are extremely gay." Said Naruto.

"They're just stylish!" said Sasuke.

"No, dad, we're gay." Said Cho.

"No you're not, you're metro sexual." Said Sasuke.

Shika and Cho shrugged at each other and then turned back to Pansuke.

"All right, we're not REALLY going to use our weapons." Said Shika.

"Yeah!" said Cho. "We just brought them out so we could show you our poses with our weapons!" They both laughed and put their giant weapons away.

"Okay…" said Pansuke.

"Ready, Shika?" said Cho.

"I'm ready, Cho!" said Shika.

They both came running towards Pansuke who was all like, "Uh oh."

"Stylish Duo of Konoha Special Attack!!" exclaimed Shika.

"LAUNCH!" Cho yelled as Shika put his hands down and Cho jumped on the hands. Shika then launched Cho up into the air as Cho put his hands in a seal and made about four copies of himself. Shika made some copies of himself as well and now there were ten people that all looked exactly the same. Then Pansuke was officially being attacked from every angle because of all the Chos that were flying through the air.

So Pansuke did the only thing he could do. GENJUTSU!

It suddenly became very foggy.

All the Chos landed and Shikas stopped running. They all shrugged at each other.

"All right Shika…" said all the Chos.

"What now?" the Shikas asked.

There were sounds coming from the side of the battle arena.

"Over there!" said the Chos. They all turned around but then Pansuke came from the other side and attacked two of the Shikas, making them disappear.

"Oh, you got us!" said the remaining Shikas.

Pansuke proceeded to attack as many clones as he could. The real Shika and Cho weren't doing much to stop him or avoid the attacks and pretty much all their clones got defeated.

Finally, Pansuke reached the real Shika and went to hit him. Shika grabbed his fist and stopped him.

"I hope you weren't planning on attacking me!" said Shika.

But then the Pansuke started fading. As Shika stared at it looking a little confused, the REAL Pansuke suddenly came from behind him and hit him in the back of the head.

"OW!" exclaimed Shika. Cho ran over.

"Shika, are you okay?" Cho asked.

"I think so…" Shika said, looking up. Cho suddenly screamed in horror. "What is it, Cho?!"

"Shika…look!" said Cho, pointing to a little blood that was dribbling down on Shika's extremely stylish battle uniform.

Shika gasped. "My extremely stylish battle uniform!!" he exclaimed. He looked at Pansuke who was still standing there like a fool. He stomped over and bitch slapped him so hard that he went skidding across the battle area and hit a tree. The fog disappeared.

"Were you two just playing with me the whole time?!" Pansuke yelled. He was all beat up and stuff and didn't look like he'd be able to get up and do anymore fighting.

"Look at this!!" whined Shika.

"If we hurry, we'll be able to get that stain out!" said Cho as he grabbed Shika's hand and they both frantically ran into the house.

"Okay…" said Lee. "I guess Shika and Cho won that one. While they're working out that stain…we'll move on to the next match! Which is between Lil Lee and Lil Sasuke!"

"Don't call me that." Sasuke Jr. said, sounding a little annoyed.

"Don't bother." Said Lil Lee. "I've tried my whole life to make him stop."


	9. Is that a trick question?

"So, Lee, you're a special jounin now, aren't you?" said Sasuke Jr. "How long have you been one of those?"

"Three years." Said Lil Lee.

"I never tried to become a special jounin." Said Sasuke Jr. "How long have you been a jounin?"

"Uh…" said Lil Lee, thinking. "I don't know…since I was seventeen."

"Oh." Said Sasuke Jr., nodding. "I've been a jounin ever since I was… sixteen."

"Oh, aren't you special?" said Lil Lee. "Is this what you do? Just TALK for the first half of your match? I noticed that you did that to Gai and attacked him whenever he was distracted."

"…So?" said Sasuke Jr. "I never attacked him when he was talking."

"But you made him think and…never mind." Said Lil Lee.

"If you remember, I said something and he said something and for some reason, he was thinking about something ELSE after." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Yeah…wait…" Lil Lee said.

"And you can't hold it against me if he said something and was finished talking and I just ASSUMED that he was ready to fight and wasn't necessarily thinking." Sasuke Jr. continued.

Lil Lee paused for a great deal of time.

"But he…" Lil Lee tried.

"Not my fault." Said Sasuke Jr. as he suddenly disappeared.

Lil Lee was a lot smarter than Lil Gai and got on the defensive. He was also a lot FASTER than Lil Gai. So he turned around just in time to see Sasuke Jr. getting ready to use the fire moves that never work. Lil Lee decided that he wasn't even going to let that go down so he jumped up to pummel Sasuke Jr. only to find that that was a CLONE!!

So as he landed, he looked around for any sign of Sasuke Jr. Then Sasuke Jr. started rising out of Lil Lee's shadow BEHIND him. As soon as Lil Lee started sensing Sasuke Jr. presence, he spun around and kicked him up into the air. He was just about to go in and hit him AGAIN when Sasuke Jr. used the Kawarimi technique and replaced himself with a log. It was a good thing too because the log was sent into orbit.

"Obviously you know nothing about excessive force." Said Sasuke Jr., landing and recovering.

"It was a log." Said Lil Lee. "Logs are lighter than people are."

"Now let's see…why didn't I know that kick was coming?" Sasuke Jr. wondered out loud.

"Sasuke, you didn't put on your Sharingan." Sasuke called.

Sasuke Jr. thought for a moment and then his Sharingan went on. "Wow, I feel silly now." He said. "This is one of those battles that I really need it, too. Okay, you shouldn't get one of those cheap shots on me anymore."

"You can call them cheap or lucky, I don't care." Said Lil Lee. "EVERYONE always does."

"Lee, haven't you made up any moves?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"Is that a trick question?" said Lil Lee. "I have made up SO many moves that I'm just…I don't know. Running out of things to make up I guess."

"I haven't made up any moves." Sasuke Jr. admitted. "Why don't you show me some of yours?"

"Yeah right." Said Lil Lee. "So you can copy them?"

"No!" said Sasuke Jr. but you could tell from his tone that that was his intention. "Of course not!"

"All right, enough with this conversation thing of yours!" said Lil Lee. "It's annoying and takes away from the battle."

"I can remember when we were younger you had an attack called 'Grudge no Jutsu'." Sasuke Jr. reminisced, ignoring Lil Lee. "Have I done anything to annoy you in the past?"

"Well, no." said Lil Lee. "But I could always use the improved version of Grudge no Jutsu on you."

"You could?" said Sasuke Jr. "And what's that?"

"I can think about things that OTHER people have done to me and use that anger against people I don't have a grudge against." Lil Lee answered.

"Yes!" said Lee. "Meaning that completely innocent people can get the full blast from the attack! For example, someone like me who has done NOTHING to offend Lil Lee could—"

"Dad." Interrupted Lil Lee. He was about to talk about how half the things he thought of usually all went back to Lee, but then decided against it. "Please. I'm in the middle of a battle. I don't need you describing my attacks in detail."

"Oh, sorry." Said Lee sadly.

"All right!" said Sasuke Jr. "Use that attack against me then."

"I can't use it now that you've said it." said Lil Lee.

"No, you have to use it!" said Sasuke Jr. "I've wanted you to use it on me ever since I was fifteen!"

"No, I can't use it." said Lil Lee. "Now it'll be weird."

"It won't be weird." Said Sasuke Jr. "I promise I won't copy it."

"You wouldn't be able to use it even if you copied it." said Lil Lee. "You just haven't had enough bad things happen to you to."

"Like you even know!" said Sasuke Jr. "But you're right. I'm not as petty as you are."

"I'm not petty!" said Lil Lee.

"Yeah you are." Said Sasuke Jr. "Just because you got bullied a little bit in school, you decide that you want to be miserable for the rest of your life."

"_A little bit_?!" said Lil Lee, looking EXTREMELY offended.

"Yeah Sasuke, I don't think it was a little bit…" said Kobiru hesitantly.

"It was a little bit." Said Sasuke Jr. "In the grand scheme of things, when you think about it, it was only seven years of your life."

"Yeah but then I went on to have to prove myself over and over because I can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu." Lil Lee said. "I can't become an ANBU because of it, but you already knew that."

"Becoming an ANBU isn't THAT cool." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Yes it is…" said Senjou but then he shut his mouth.

"When I was younger, my dad told me about how he wanted to become apart of ANBU but they wouldn't let him because he couldn't use the cancel move." Said Lil Lee. "So I said that I would become good enough to be in ANBU."

"I don't even remember that!" said Lee with a hearty laugh.

"Just admit it, Lee." Said Sasuke Jr. "You're petty."

"No I'm not." Said Lil Lee.

"Yes you are." Sasuke Jr. said.

Lil Lee decided that that was the last straw. He would HAVE to use Grudge no Jutsu on him now. "Fine!" he said. "But I'm not petty!"

He started getting himself all revved for his attack.

"I'm good." Said Sasuke Jr. with a nod.

"That's what he does." Tashoku said to anyone that would listen. "Regardless of who he's fighting, he pushes his opponents buttons in such a way that he eventually gets him to fight the way he wants him to. And it works almost every time."

"EVERY time." Sasuke Jr. corrected.

"Okay, okay." Said Tashoku. She learned to choose her battles after marrying an Uchiha.

"Remember, all you have to do is hit him once and it's all over!" said Sasuke. "If I remember correctly, it depletes him of ALL chakra and disorients him for a little while."

"That's what YOU think!!" yelled Lee but then he threw his hands over his mouth.

"Am I a giant mass of concentrated evil that needs to be vanquished yet?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"No." said Lil Lee. "I'm thinking back to all the times you tripped me, cut my hair while I was sleeping, denied me the right of becoming an ANBU and beat me in a fight in front of a large group of people using a genjutsu move one million times."

"Wow." Said Sasuke Jr. "Someone could have fun trying to figure out who did what."

"I was the one who cut his hair while he was sleeping!" said Lee as if he was proud of it.

"I beat him a million times with the SAME genjutsu move!" said Pansuke. And he WAS proud of it.

"Now I feel bad…" said Senjou sadly.

"Am I the one who tripped him?" Kobiru asked.

"I think I tripped him too." Said Tashoku.

"Me too." Said Pansuke. "I think we all did. I think tripping Lee was a graduation requirement."

"Are you done yet?" Sasuke Jr. asked as he turned back to Lil Lee only to find that he wasn't there!! He was just about to do a slight cheer of satisfaction when he realized that he had to turn around and block from immanent doom. But, even though he blocked from Lil Lee's mad punch, he was still sent flying to the side. Sasuke Jr. caught himself before he hit the ground and got up while bounding off the ground.

Lil Lee was glowing all SORTS of crazy colors!! Sasuke Jr. was a bit intimidated, especially since he knew that Lil Lee hadn't even taken off his weights yet.

"Okay…" Sasuke Jr. started as Lil Lee ran towards him again.

"That was such a mistake on his part." Sasuke said to Ino.

"I know." Ino agreed. "But I wasn't going to say anything because I thought that you thought it was a good idea and I didn't want to offend you."

"…Uh…" said Sasuke, not knowing exactly how to respond to that.

Lil Lee was currently taking out all his aggressions on Sasuke Jr. to a HORRIFIC extent. Sasuke Jr. was WAY out of his league so he used the Kawarimi at one point and was about to smack Lil Lee down to end the jutsu but Lil Lee spun around and hit him.

Sasuke Jr. was able to recover just as Lil Lee dove for him to hit him again. Sasuke Jr. jumped into the air, knowing that there was NO way to defeat Lil Lee in a taijutsu match. Sasuke Jr. landed pretty far away and then took note of a branch that was loose on a tree he was standing near. He ripped the branch off the tree and then looked ahead at Lil Lee coming towards him. Using his Sharingan, he predicted from which direction he would come from.

Sasuke Jr. then wound up and smacked Lil Lee with the stick.

Lil Lee tumbled to the ground and then looked up. All the crazy colors faded away. "What?" was all he managed to say.

"Wow, I never expected that to work." Said Sasuke Jr., looking rather pleased with his stick. "Ever."

"That was close." Said Sasuke, giving a sigh of relief.

"LIL LEE!!" yelled Lee. "TAKE OFF YOUR WEIGHTS!!"

Lil Lee lied there for a second and then sat up. He looked disoriented, just like Sasuke had said, unlike Lee had said.

Sasuke Jr. stood there for a moment, feeling like all Lil Lee needed was a good smack and then he had it won. So he leaned over and looked at the blank expression on Lil Lee's face. He was just about to do something when Lil Lee suddenly pushed up off the ground and swung his legs around, knocking Sasuke Jr. right off his feet. Lil Lee jumped up into the air, extended one leg and was just about to smash Sasuke Jr. into next week when Sasuke Jr. put his hands up.

"STOP!" he yelled.

Lil Lee was thrown off that he landed on one foot next to Sasuke Jr., stumbled a bit and then fell over.

"Why?" Lil Lee asked.

"Wow." Said Sasuke Jr. "I could have just punched you right then and I would have won."

"Stop giving me a lesson and tell me why you stopped me." Lil Lee said.

"You are not tired at all, are you?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"No." Lil Lee answered.

"And you could probably go on like this all day?"

"Like this? Yes."

"And you haven't even taken your weights off yet." Sasuke Jr. sighed. "I can just see myself getting hit so many more times in this fight and… as much as I hate to admit it… your eventual win."

"Okay?" said Lil Lee, a little confused.

"So I'm going to end it now before I get any injuries." Said Sasuke Jr. Then he sighed. "Even though simply by yelling 'stop' I confused you enough that I'd be able to hit you right then."

"You're giving up?" Lil Lee said finally.

"Yeah." Said Sasuke Jr. "I don't care enough to get injured."

"A WISE decision!" yelled Lee.

"Sasuke…wait…" said Sasuke. "…NO…"

"Dad, it's all right." Said Sasuke Jr., standing up and brushing off his bum. "It's just a little fight in a random tournament in Kiba's back yard."

"But…Senjou gave up too…" said Sasuke. "And I had my money on you."

Sasuke Jr. shrugged. "Oh well." He said.

"LIL LEE WINS!!" yelled Lee, running over to Lil Lee, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. "That was a good move to PRETEND what they were all expecting by acting disoriented after he hit you."

"Yeah…" said Lil Lee. "But Grudge no Jutsu is really flawed. The more I use it, the more I realize it. It takes forever to build up and can be defeated pretty easily."

"It's just because you forgot to take off your weights, son!" said Lee.

"Whatever…" said Lil Lee as he went back over to the spectators.

"Lee, you were so great!" said Kajitsu. "Can you teach me how to do the Grudge no Jutsu?"

"I want to learn it too!" said Hana, pushing Kajitsu out of the way.

"Sorry, as I explained before, you two didn't have enough bad things happen to you." Lil Lee said.

"No, I've had PLENTY of bad things happen to me!" said Hana. "I got put on the same team as Kajitsu!"

"HEY!" said Kajitsu angrily.

"Ahem…" said Lee. "Have Shika and Cho returned?"

"YES!" said Shika and Cho as they ran out of the house.

"We're back!!" said Cho.

"And clean!" Shika said, pointing to the spot on his shirt that used to have the bloodstain on it.

"And ready to fight!" Cho said.

"Because we are…" Shika led.

"The Stylish Duo of Konoha!!" they both yelled, striking their poses.

"Okay…" said Lee. "The Stylish Duo of Konoha versus Tashoku!"


	10. EXCESSIVE FORCE!

"All right, sister-in-law!" said Cho. "We're DIFFERENT from Senjou!"

"Instead of dropping out because you're what you are…" Shika said, giving Tashoku a wink.

"We're going to give you an opportunity to drop our yourself!" they both finished.

"Were you guys practicing this entire speech inside?" Shikataro asked.

"That's the sad part." Said Inoshi since they were standing together as the two ninjas who were really bad ninjas and then quit. "They didn't."

"We'll give you a count down from ten!" said Shika.

"Nine!" said Cho.

"Eight!" said Shika.

"Seven!" said Cho.

"Okay, okay!" said Tashoku quickly. "I'll back out!"

"YAY!!" cheered Shika and Cho. "Another victory for the Stylish Duo of Konoha!!"

"You just never know what those two will do…" Tashoku said to Sasuke Jr.

"I completely agree with you." Sasuke Jr. said.

"THE FINAL BATTLE!!" yelled Lee. "It's between Lil Lee and Shika and Cho! May the best man or men win!!"

"Wait, don't you think we should get an intermission?" asked Shika.

"Yeah!" said Cho. "We have to get mentally prepared!"

"No, fight NOW!!" exclaimed some really excited person who will not be specified.

"YES!" said Lee. "We shall begin the fight now!"

"What do you think, Shika?" said Cho. "With or without the weapons?"

"Well, Cho, we have to at least pose!" said Shika as he whipped out his weapon.

"I thought that was a given!" laughed Shika.

"Fear us for we are…" said Cho.

"The Stylish Duo of Konoha!!" they both yelled as they struck one of their famous poses.

"Okay…" said Lil Lee.

"I don't know who to cheer for!" said Hana, torn between her Lil Lee flag and her Shika and Cho flag. "Oh well! I cheer for them both! Or… all of them… I guess it would be…"

"All right, considering I have to fight two people I think I might just have to—" started Lil Lee.

"LIL LEE!!" screamed Lee. "TAKE YOUR WEIGHTS OFF!!"

Lil Lee looked annoyed at his crazy dadoo. "I know." He said.

"I know Shika and Cho will win." Said Sasuke.

"Don't go overboard with this competition." Ino warned him.

Tenten, meanwhile, was too busy trying to get Kikei to stop crying that she was unable to put her two cents in for the cheering.

Lil Lee took the weights off on his legs and put them on the ground.

"NOOOOOO!" yelled Lee. "YOU HAVE TO THROW THEM DRAMATICALLY!!!"

"Let the fight commence!" said Shika as he put his weapon away.

"And allow the Stylish Duo of Konoha show you a thing or two about the true world of ninjas!" added Cho, putting his weapon away as well.

And the battle started. It was INTENSE!!

Lil Lee started it off like he always does. He started it with a mad charge since he was pretty much unable to do anything else. He figured that his best move was to separate the two of them so they couldn't use any of their moves or work off each other.

Shika and Cho, on the other hand, hadn't gotten an opportunity to see Lil Lee fight to the intense degree he fought Sasuke Jr. They knew he had a hard punch, but other than that, nothing else really.

Neither of them even knew what happened when Lil Lee dropped in between them and kicked them in either directions.

"Ah!!" said Shika, standing up and pointing to his grass stains. "Look at what he did to my extremely stylish and expensive battling uniform!!"

"Shika, I think my stains match yours!" Cho said, standing up as well.

"As long as we match, it's all right!" laughed Shika.

"You said a mouthful!" agreed Cho. But Lil Lee had figured that he'd attack one and smite him dead, and then he would attack the OTHER. So he chose Cho first simply because…uh… he felt like it! He began his barrage of attacks that Cho was CLEARLY not ready for!

"CHO!" said Shika, forming a hand seal. He seemed to teleport over to where the battle was currently taking place and threw a punch at Lil Lee's turned back. Lil Lee was ready for it though and spun around, grabbing Shika's hand before he connected. Then Lil Lee tossed Shika back in the direction he had come from and then tossed Cho off in another.

"You can't beat him in a taijutsu match!" Sasuke Jr. warned.

"I realize that." Said Shika.

"All right, Shika, I think it's time you and I got serious!" said Cho, standing up and looking at the rip in his trendy combat outfit.

"We haven't had to do that for a long time!" Shika said as he grabbed his giant and pointy weapon and held it out. Cho did the same.

"It was a mistake for him to allow those two on either side of him." Sasuke said to Ino as if she didn't know. "Obviously he thinks that they can only attack when they're together. But as long as they have each other, they're just fine."

"Why are you telling ME this?" Ino asked.

"GO LIL LEE!!!" Lee said, pulling out an enormous flag that required two hands to hold and waving it around dramatically.

"You ready, Shika?" said Cho.

"When you are, Cho!" said Shika.

The two of them formed a hand seal and easily multiplied themselves so there was five of each and they sufficiently completely surrounded Lil Lee.

"Is that all you two can do?" Lil Lee said.

All the Shikas and Chos came charging at Lil Lee with their weapons high. They took swipes at him in all sorts of crazy directions while working off each other. But Lee wears those weights for a REASON and was able to dodge every swash of the weapon.

The Shikas and Chos finally jumped away and came back together so there were only two of them.

"How can we call ourselves the Stylish Duo of Konoha if we can't even land a single attack?" said Shika.

"You've gotten soft, Shika!" said Cho. "Let's do this."

The two of them grabbed their forehead protectors from being around their arms and tied them to their foreheads. "Hey, we even make this look good." Said Shika, whipping out a mirror.

"If you guys are going to continue with this weapon technique…" Lil Lee said, pulling an elastic out of his pocket and putting his hair up in a pony-tail. "Sorry, I just don't want to lose any hair."

"Oh, we understand!" said Cho. "Now we don't have to worry about cutting it anymore!"

"That's a relief!" said Shika.

"OKAY!" said Shika and Cho at the same time as they suddenly got really serious looks on their faces.

Shika started charging at Lil Lee and leapt up into the air. Lil Lee was weary of Cho who stayed on the ground and was running up behind him.

"Stylish Duo of Konoha Special Attack!" said Shika as he started spinning his huge weapon around.

"Gufuu no Jutsu!!" yelled Cho as he started spinning his weapon around too. There was a sudden gust of wind formed by the two ends of the spinning weapons that made a tornado. The force of the wind eventually picked Lil Lee right up off his feet and into the air.

This, of course, meant that he was going right towards Shika who was ready to attack. Lil Lee grabbed the end of the weapon on each side as it came down to hit him.

"You were actually going to hit me?" Lil Lee said since the weapon was about three inches away from his face.

"That would be a little harsh, don't you think?" said Shika. That's when Lil Lee remembered Cho. He turned his head slightly to see Cho coming up through the pillar of wind with the butt of his weapon out in front. Lil Lee then realized that he couldn't move or else the pointy end of Shika's weapon would hit him so he was forced to take Cho's attack. Luckily, though, it was only with the handle so he wasn't MAIMED.

As soon as Cho hit him in the side, the winds dispersed and the twins landed gracefully. Lil Lee didn't land quite as nicely. He initially landed on his feet but lost his footing and fell on his arse.

"Wow…that really…really hurt…" said Lil Lee, rubbing the spot where Cho hit him.

"All right!" said Shika and Cho as they slapped hands.

"But I'm not done yet." Lil Lee said, standing up.

"Oh…no?" said Shika.

"Usually, I use this end but…" Cho started, pointing to the sharp end and then shrugging. "That would have been messy."

"Show 'em whose boss, Lil Lee!!" said Lee enthusiastically as he punched the air.

"We can't show you any mercy because of what you did to our battle uniforms." Said Shika as he shook his finger at Lil Lee as if he was reprimanding a child.

"So from now on, don't expect it." Cho finished.

"I wasn't expecting it in the first place." Lil Lee said. "I have to admit, I have fought twins before but none that were so…"

"Stylish?" tried Shika when he noticed Lil Lee was at a loss for words.

"Well-dressed?" Cho said.

"Attractive?" Shika said.

"Wonderfully elegant and tasteful, fashionable, classy and completely in touch with their feminine side?" Cho added.

Lil Lee shook his head. "…Skilled…as you two are." He finished finally.

"Well thank you!" said Shika with a girlish hand motion.

"Is this battle going to continue?" asked an annoyed person, probably Shikamaru.

"Right!" said Shika and Cho at the same time as they pointed their shiny weapons at Lil Lee.

"Let's use the technique that works EVERY time." Said Shika to Cho.

"Yes, that is a good idea!" said Cho in response.

They formed a hand seal and split up into numerous copies of themselves so there was an overwhelming amount of them completely surrounding Lil Lee.

"Kagemane no Jutsu!" they all yelled so it sounded REALLY creepy.

Lil Lee wasn't about to let that go down so he leapt up into the air. Of course, he was sort of in a pickle at that point because he would have to land SOME TIME and the ground was completely covered with the shadows they had formed so there was no possible way to land without landing in a shadow.

Lil Lee has something for JUST for this occasion though, since he's kind of like Batman who doesn't have any powers living in a world where everyone has powers. So he pulled out a shuriken that had a long string attached to it and threw it up against a tree. Then he swung on it over to the tree and landed on a branch.

"I wasn't expecting that." Said one of the Chos.

"That's the real one." Lil Lee said, making a mental note for himself. He knew that he only had ONE opportunity to do it and if he failed then he pretty much had the entire fight lost. So Lil Lee bounded off the tree, zooming towards the speaking Cho like a missile and hit him so hard that he went flying across the yard before he had even realized Lil Lee had landed in the tree. Cho went sailing over Shika's head and landed on the way opposite side. All the Cho Bunshins disappeared.

"Cho!" gasped Shika as all the extra Shikas disappeared as well. He ran over to Cho and shook him a little bit to find that he was unconscious. Then he looked at Lil Lee who was landing and looking satisfied with himself. "How DARE you!"

"Haven't we discussed excessive force?" said Sasuke Jr.

"This is a fight." Said Lil Lee. "It's what we have to do."

"Then you've forced me to do THIS!" said Shika as he pulled a scroll out of his pocket. He unraveled it dramatically and wrote stuff in his own blood. Then there was a huge puff of smoke and a large pack of panthers appeared. "Extremely stylish panthers, take care of him!"

The panthers growled and ran after Lil Lee. Lil Lee looked at Shika who had diverted all of his attention to caressing Cho in his state of unconsciousness. So Lil Lee easily leapt over the panthers and decided this was his chance to end the battle. He landed in front of Shika and was just about to give him a beating like he did Cho when he threw his hands in front of his face.

"EXCESSIVE FORCE!!" he yelled.

This, of course, caused Lil Lee to lose his concentration and ONCE AGAIN fall down on his butt.

All the panthers disappeared back into the scroll too.

"You win!" said Shika. "I cannot fight without Cho. That's why I sent my panthers to do it for me but they failed me."

"That wasn't a good move on your part." Lil Lee said. "Sending the panthers, I mean."

"LIL LEE IS VICTORIOUS!!!" screamed Lee as he jumped up into the air so high that most people didn't expect him to ever come down.

Lil Lee and Shika stood up and shook hands. Then Lil Lee went over to where Pansuke was being caressed by Kobiru since he was ever so injured. "Pansuke," said Lil Lee. "I couldn't help but notice that I beat the people who beat you."

"So?" said Pansuke.

"That means I'm stronger than you are." Lil Lee announced.

"Oh yeah?" said Pansuke. "The chart says otherwise!"

"Enough with the chart!" said Lil Lee. "You can't constantly use that as your crutch as an explanation to why you lose in every battle that isn't against me!"

"I don't lose in EVERY battle that isn't against you." Said Pansuke, scoffing.

"You fought really well in the battle, Lee!" said Kobiru. "I actually really like the way you fight with excessive force! You may not have known this but I really admired you when we were teenagers and actually developed sort of a crush on you too! But I doubt you even noticed."

"I noticed, don't worry." Said Lil Lee.

"You did?" said Kobiru. "I'm SO embarrassed!"

"Hey guys!" said Kiba, grabbing one of those megaphones that cheerleaders use. "Let's all go back inside and hit the hay!"

"I have a question, Kiba." Said Shikamaru. "Just where are we all going to be sleeping?"

"Oh." Said Kiba, still speaking in the megaphone even though Shikamaru was about two feet away. "All the girls, me and Shino are going to be staying here at the house and we booked hotel rooms for all you guys because there is just no room in our tiny little house."

"Wait, why you and Shino?" asked Naruto.

"Because it would be CRAZY for me to stay at a hotel when my house is here and able!" said Kiba. "And it would also be ludicrous for Shino's three daughters to be staying at my house and for him to go off to a hotel!"

Everyone wasn't about to argue with THAT logic so the men all (except Kiba and Shino) hopped into their cars and drove to the restaurant that Kiba specified when no one was looking. When they got there, they were shocked to discover that they had previously been assigned to rooms!! ARGH!!

They didn't switch around because they didn't feel like it.


	11. Don’t let the bed bugs bite, Shino!

In the first room was Chouji, Naruto, Sasuke and Inoshi. Each room had a tiny bathroom with a shower and toilet, and then one main room with a television and two queen-sized beds.

"All right," said Sasuke, dropping his suitcase. "Inoshi and I will be in that bed. You two can be in the other one."

"No, I need to be in my own bed!" said Chouji.

"Yeah, it's dangerous to sleep with in the same bed as Chouji!" said Naruto.

"That's not MY problem, Naruto." Said Sasuke, opening his suitcase and looking for his pajamas.

"I'LL sleep in that bed with Inoshi, and YOU sleep with Chouji." Said Naruto.

"You're making Inoshi uncomfortable!" Sasuke said, pointing to Inoshi.

"What?" said Inoshi as he pulled his toothbrush out of his bag. He hadn't even been listening since he had been distracted by finding his toothbrush because he was worried that he had left it back at the house. Luckily, he found it.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke and dragged him into the bathroom, shut the door and locked it behind him.

"What do you want?!" demanded Sasuke.

"You remember what Shikamaru said about Chouji?" Naruto whispered. "He said he was a creepy stalker who came out of the closet! I don't want to sleep in the same bed as him!"

Not even Sasuke could force Naruto to go through that torture.

"Well…maybe we can find a cot…" he said finally.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I think this is our room." Said Pansuke as he whipped out the key to the room, which was actually a little card that had to be swiped. He swiped it across the swiper device and waited. But the light didn't turn green. So he tried again. Once again, it didn't work.

"Give it to me." Said Lil Lee, dropping his suitcase, pushing Pansuke out of the way and taking the card out of his hand.

"I can do it!" said Pansuke angrily.

"Obviously you can't." Lil Lee said as he swiped the card and the light almost immediately turned green. "You see?"

"Just because you can do it doesn't mean I can't!" said Pansuke as he opened the door.

"Hey, there's a crib in here." Said Sasuke Jr., looking satisfied with a nod of his head.

"Only one?" Lil Lee said.

"They're small, they can share." Said Sasuke Jr., referring to the two babies. He had been enraged for a little while that Tashoku forced him to bring little Sasuke to the hotel instead of taking care of him herself. HER argument was that Kikei would be there and they could bond. Sasuke Jr. pointed out that they were both babies and therefore would experience no bonding, but she would have none of it.

"Two beds." Said Senjou.

The four men looked at each other. None of them wanted to share a bed, but it would have to be done. The biggest problem was, though, who would have the misfortune of having to share a bed with Pansuke?

"Rock, paper, scissors." Said Sasuke Jr. finally as he put little Sasuke in the crib. Lil Lee put Kikei in as well and everyone who wasn't Pansuke got in a circle.

"Wait, what are you doing rock, paper, scissors for?" asked Pansuke.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Dad, how long do we get to stay at this hotel?" Hichou asked.

"As long as we have to." Neji answered.

"Shikataro, make yourself useful and get the ice." Shikamaru said to his son.

"Why?" said Shikataro. "We don't need ice."

"Yes we do." Said Shikamaru. "There is an ice machine and therefore we need ice."

"What?" said Shikataro.

"As a matter of fact, don't bother." Said Shikamaru, standing up. "I'LL get the ice."

And then he left the room.

Shikataro, Neji and Hichou could only gasp in surprise that Shikamaru had actually been enthusiastic about something…especially something like ICE.

MEANWHILE!!!

"WE GET THIS BED!!!" Shika and Cho yelled as they sprinted over to one of the beds and dove upon it.

"AND WE GET THIS BED!!!" yelled Lil Gai and Lee as they dove on the other one. The four stared at each other for a little while and when they realized that there would be no argumentation about the beds, they were a little confused on what they should talk about.

"O-M-G, Cho, can you believe that tournament?" said Shika.

"O-M-G, I know!" said Cho. "Sorry I lost it for us! I should have been more on my guard!"

"It's all right Cho!" said Shika. "I should have been protecting you better!"

"MY son won, you know." Said Lee as his head grew so much that he might have floated away if not for the ceiling keeping him down.

"Dad, what about me?" said Lil Gai. "I got eliminated in the first round. I'm your failure son!"

"No you're not, Lil Gai!" said Lee, hugging his identical son. "You were just up against a strong opponent!"

"But Lil Lee beat the person who beat me." Said Lil Gai, sniffing.

"Well, he's older and has more experience than you, after all." Said Lee. "You don't have to feel bad!"

"Thanks Dad!!" said Lil Gai as he hugged Lee.

MEANWHILE!!!

All the women, Shino and Kiba were hanging out in the living room until Shino declared that he was going off to the guest room to hit the hay. Jijo and Sanjo decided to accompany him.

"Don't let the bed bugs bite, Shino!" said Kiba and then he couldn't refrain from bursting into hysterical laughter.

"Like I've never heard that one before." Said Shino under his breath as he left the room.

"Oh that Shino!" said Kiba to the rest of the women. "He knows I'm just pulling his leg!"

"So what does everyone want to talk about?" Hinata asked.

"How about the tournament?" said Tenten ONLY because her son won.

"Uh…how about something else?" Sakura suggested ONLY because her son got knocked out in the first round.

"Yeah, how about the plans for tomorrow?" Ino suggested ONLY because she knew she had the best sons even if they didn't win.

"Well, tomorrow morning we're having the tournament for the girls." Hinata said. "Then we're going shopping."

"We get a tournament?" said Kajitsu. "I missed that entirely!"

"Weren't you listening?" said Hana.

"I just said that I missed it." Kajitsu said.

"I wish I could have competed." Kobiru said absentmindedly. "After all, I AM a jounin. And half the people out there I felt like I could beat. It might have even been Lee and I in the finals! Did you guys know that I had a crush on him when I was younger?"

"Yes." Said everyone else.

"WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!" demanded Kiba but Hinata ran over and massaged his shoulders to make him feel better. She even scratched him behind his ears because she knew that was the ONLY thing that could thoroughly distract him from the presence of Kobiru.

"I actually didn't do any fighting in the entire tournament." Tashoku said, trying to get back on the subject.

"I know!" said Ino. "And Senjou didn't fight you so he didn't get to go on to the next fight. I knew it was going to be either he and Sasuke or he and Lee's son in the finals and now I DEMAND that they fight! You know, Lee's son and Senjou. Just to show everyone that Senjou is rightfully the best."

"How about that happens…after the girl's tournament?" said Tenten. She had no intention of actually letting this fight occur, but she could still pretend.

"What are we going shopping for tomorrow?" asked Moujo.

"Everything for the party." Hinata answered.

"When is the party?" Hiyoko asked.

"The day AFTER tomorrow." Hinata said.

"Are you excited, Hinata?" Sakura said.

"OBVIOUSLY she's excited!" said Ino, almost as if Sakura's comment had offended her.

"Mom, I just can't believe you and Dad have been married twenty-five years." Said Tashoku. "I mean, Sasuke and I have our second anniversary next month and I just CAN'T imagine it."

"Well IMAGINE it!" said Kiba. He didn't know what else to say but he wanted to be included.

"Why don't you tell them the news now, Tashoku?" said Kobiru.

"What news?" Tashoku asked.

"YOU KNOW." Said Kobiru.

"Oh…but what about all the guys?" Tashoku said.

"They don't matter!" said Kobiru. "Your dad's here and that's all that matters, right?"

"Yeah but Sasuke's not here and neither is…uh… Sasuke…" Tashoku said. "And I wanted Sasuke to be here and I don't think it's right to tell everyone when both Sasukes aren't here."

"Now you HAVE to tell us!" said Tenten.

"Oh no…Tashoku, you're not pregnant again, are you?!" Kiba gasped.

Tashoku blinked a few times. "Uh…actually, yes." She said, a little disappointed.

"Oh." Said Kiba. "I mean…that's great news!!"

"Has Sasuke given you the talk about how it's his duty to have many children yet?" Ino asked Tashoku.

"Yes…" Tashoku said.

"All the so-called unplanned pregnancies turned out to be planned pregnancies." Ino said. "Those Uchihas are VERY intelligent."

"EWWW!!" yelled Moujo, Hiyoko, Hana and Kajitsu who couldn't imagine old people getting it on.

"But Tashoku, that's great news!" said Hinata. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

"I think it's going to be a girl…" Tashoku admitted.

"You don't KNOW that!" said Kobiru.

"Let my daughter speak!!" Kiba yelled.

"How do you know it's going to be a girl?" Hinata questioned.

"It feels different than Sasuke did." Tashoku said.

"They ALL feel different." Ino said.

"No, I think it's going to be a girl." Tashoku said, sounding a little more confident this time.

"Do you know what you're going to name her?" asked Hana.

"You can't name a baby until it's born!" said Kajitsu.

"That's not true!" said Hana.

"It's true in SOME cases." Said Sakura.

"We don't have a name yet." Tashoku said in response to Hana's question.


	12. Do I REALLY smell like used kitty litter

MEANWHILE!!!

Everyone in the Uchiha, Uzumaki and Akimichi room was in bed. They had found a cot for Naruto and he was sleeping on it in the corner of the room and Chouji had the bed all to himself. Inoshi was sitting by the lamp in the room with it on as he typed stuff.

Finally, Sasuke would have no more of it. He leaned over which caused Inoshi to immediately shut his laptop. "Sorry?" Inoshi said.

"Could you turn that light off?" Sasuke asked.

"Is it keeping you awake?" Inoshi asked nervously as he immediately leaned over and shut it off.

"Yes." Sasuke said finally, rolling back over.

Inoshi sat there for a moment and then opened up the laptop again. There was enough of a glow coming from the screen to provide him with light to continue writing. Unfortunately, there was enough glow to keep Sasuke awake as well. Once again, he turned over and once again, Inoshi shut the laptop.

"Shouldn't you just go to sleep?" Sasuke said.

"Um…I guess." Inoshi said, putting the laptop on the floor and taking his reading glasses off. He situated himself in bed and tried to go to sleep but he usually never went to sleep that early. He normally stayed up into the night writing. ALAS!! WOE IS INOSHI!!

MEANWHILE!!!

"Wow, look at my baby crawl." Said Sasuke Jr. as he watched his happy baby crawl around the room. "He's so strong. Well, I think it's time for bed for him."

Sasuke Jr. tapped little Sasuke on the head and used a sleeping genjutsu thing on him. The baby immediately fell asleep and Sasuke Jr. picked him up and brought him over to the crib.

"I'd hate to see NON-ninja parents put their kids to bed!" said Senjou.

"Or parents who can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu." Said Lil Lee. "Could you put my son to sleep too?"

Sasuke Jr. wouldn't have said NO just because he and Lee were on good terms. But even if they were on bad terms, he would have said yes anyway because he didn't want to have to deal with a crying baby all night long. So the two babies were lovingly tucked into their beds where they slept like rocks.

"How long does it usually work?" Senjou asked. "I mean, do they sleep all the way through the night?"

"No." said Sasuke Jr. and Lil Lee at the same time.

"I'm not going to use genjutsu on MY baby!" said Pansuke, standing up and putting his hand over his heart.

"That attitude will last about… fifteen minutes." Sasuke Jr. said. "Especially to the supposed Genjutsu Master who can't even make it past the first round of a tournament."

"I don't test well!!" said Pansuke. "Besides, Senjou didn't make it past the first round either!"

"I WOULD have." Said Senjou. He didn't go on though. He just left it at that.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Dad…" came a voice in the darkness.

"Yes, Hichou, I know." Said another voice. "I was hoping it was just a dream. Is it?"

"No." Hichou answered.

Neji got out of bed and turned the light on. Hichou was standing outside the bathroom door with wet pants on. The bed was all wet and there was a little trail leading to the bathroom.

"Hichou, you're thirteen years old, I thought we had rid ourselves of this little problem." Neji said.

"Dad, I always get nervous whenever I'm in a new place!" Hichou whined. "I can't help it! I'm sorry!"

"It's all right…" said Neji, though he was OBVIOUSLY at the end of his rope.

"Should we clean it up?" Hichou asked.

"No, no, that won't be necessary." Said Neji, opening a window. "You change into your other pajamas and I'll take care of everything."

"Okay." Said Hichou as he grabbed his spare pajamas and went into the bathroom. When he emerged, he saw Shikamaru and Shikataro in the bed that he and Neji were previously in. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "Dad, you're so smart."

"Now make sure you won't go to the bathroom again." Neji said.

"I did!" said Hichou as he jumped in bed. Neji turned the lights off and went back to sleep.

MEANWHILE!!!

"And we told Senjou that the pants made his butt look big." Said Shika as he explained a story to Lil Gai and Lee. "Oh my god, this is WAY too hard to explain. Cho, you be Senjou. I'LL be us."

"Oh, I love simulations!" said Cho, clapping his hands.

"Senjou, those pants totally make your butt look big." Said Shika.

"But it's my ANBU uniform, guys." Said Cho in a silly voice.

"But those aren't special ANBU pants. You can wear different pants."

"Whoa, guys. I like these pants. They're WAY comfortable. And I'm going to be gone on a multiple month long mission and I need to be comfortable."

"OH MY GOD SENJOU!!" yelled Shika, getting way too into the role. "COMFORT DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOUR BUTT LOOKS BIG!!!"

Lee and Lil Gai paused.

"So…then what?" asked Lil Gai. "Did he end up wearing the pants that made his butt look big or did he change them?"

"Oh, he left the house with a big butt." Sighed Cho.

"I could show him a thing or two about STYLE!" said Lee as his teeth went PING!

"The poor guy." Said Shika. "He MEANS well. But sometimes, I just think that he doesn't care what he looks like."

"I know!" said Cho. "Like when he returns from those missions of his! He always looks so tattered and dirty and like he hasn't changed or showered since he left!"

"I'm glad he at least did both of those things before he showed up at this party!" laughed Shika. Cho joined in laughing and Lil Gai and Lee eventually joined in too because even though they didn't find the comment to be very funny, they loved to laugh and enjoy life.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So…" said Kiba. "Hinata and I will be sleeping in our room. Tashoku will be in her room. Shino and two of his daughters are in the guest room. The rest of you…good luck."

"Kiba, they're our guests." Said Hinata. "We should find places for them to sleep."

"I'll sleep with Tashoku!" said Kobiru.

"Yeah, it'll be just like when we were kids!" said Tashoku.

"NO!" said Kiba. "I REFUSE to allow it!!"

"Mr. Inuzuka, I'm pregnant!" said Kobiru. "I need to sleep in a bed!"

"You'll sleep on the floor and like it!" Kiba yelled.

"Kiba, leave her alone." Hinata said. "It's all right if Kobiru sleeps in there. She always used to."

"Against my will!!" whined Kiba. "And her stench was just starting to go away once and for all!"

"I'll go in and sleep with my dad and sisters." Said Moujo with a shrug as everyone else tried to figure out their sleeping arrangements while Kiba and Hinata tried to come to an agreement considering the Kobiru situation.

"And I'll sleep on this couch." Said Ino as she hopped up on the couch.

"And I'll be on this one!" Tenten said.

"I'll be in the La-Z-Boy!" said Sakura, running over to the chair.

"Let's see if Kiba has any sleeping bags." Said Hana to Hiyoko and Kajitsu.

"You did NOT just say that." Said Kiba. "I HATE it when other people use my sleeping bags. They always leave their scent in them. Except for Hana, she has that pleasant Uchiha smell that's kind of like… baby powder." Then he pointed at Hiyoko. "I guess you can use a sleeping bag too because you smell a lot like Hinata which is the best smell in the entire world."

"Ha!" laughed Hana, pointing at Kajitsu.

"Kiba, you can't give a sleeping bag to two of the three girls." Said Hinata.

"Watch me!" said Kiba. "The Uzumakis smell like kitty litter. USED kitty litter. And I hate cats and kitty litter. But I ESPECIALLY hate used kitty litter."

"Aw…" said Kajitsu, feeling sad that she smelled bad.

"All right!" said Hana. "I'm fresh baby powder and you're used kitty litter."

"Tashoku, do I REALLY smell like used kitty litter?" asked Kajitsu.

"Um…" Tashoku said. "Maybe not USED…"

"Kajitsu, we brought a sleeping bag, don't worry." Said Sakura.

"Okay…" Kajitsu said, looking a little hurt.


	13. I was on the cover of People… yesterday

MEANWHILE!!!

The room with the two babies was sleeping peacefully until, suddenly, one of the babies woke up. Which one was it? It was Kikei of course.

"That's not MY son." Said Sasuke Jr.

"I got it…" said Lil Lee, getting out of bed. Of course, within only a few moments, the other baby woke up too. Little Sasuke didn't start crying, just making noises and climbing around in the crib.

"Let's just put them back to sleep!" complained Pansuke.

"No, he might need something that can't wait until the morning." Said Lil Lee as he picked his extremely hideous baby and immediately went to work in figuring out what the little buckeroo's problem was.

Little Sasuke got impatient that no one was paying attention to him so he started crying too. So this forced Sasuke Jr. to have to get up out of bed as well and tend to his child. Eventually, the lights had to go on so they could figure out just what was going on.

"I think Sasuke just needed attention." Sasuke Jr. said because once he picked up little Sasuke, he pretty much stopped crying.

"I wish I could say the same…" sighed Lil Lee as he tried bouncing Kikei but THAT didn't work. "I'm going to change his diaper."

"Someone turn the lights off…" said Senjou as he reached lamely for the light switch.

Lil Lee turned the lights off and went into the bathroom, turning THOSE lights on. Sasuke Jr. put little Sasuke back in bed and put him back to sleep using genjutsu. Then he hopped back in bed with Senjou.

A little while passed and Lil Lee could NOT figure out what the problem was with his child. Just when he felt there was nothing else he could do, Pansuke entered the bathroom and used one of his magic genjutsu powers to put Kikei to sleep. And it worked.

"I thought I said that I didn't want to use genjutsu to put him to sleep." Lil Lee said, looking annoyed.

"We're trying to sleep!" said Pansuke. "And there's nothing you can do about it now so just put him back in the crib!"

"Pansuke, if not for the fact that it's the middle of the night, I would…" Lil Lee started.

"You would what?" said Pansuke.

"Never mind." Said Lil Lee as he took his son back into the other room and put him in the crib. Then everyone got back in bed and went to sleep again.

THE NEXT MORNING!!!

Everyone in the room with the babies was once again awakened by Kikei's wails.

"Your kid cries WAY too much." Said Sasuke Jr. as he listened to his son start to whine again.

"Sorry." Said Lil Lee as he got up and tended to the little one's needs.

"Well there's no possible way I could get back to sleep at…seven thirty." Said Senjou, picking up the clock. "Besides, it's ALMOST light outside so we might as well get up!"

"You all can get up, but I'M staying in bed!" said Pansuke.

"Good, we don't want you to come with us anyway." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Just because you said that, I WILL come!" said Pansuke as he got out of bed.

"Nice job, Sasuke." Said Lil Lee.

So they took the children out into the halls where they could wake up as many people as possible. Once they started getting things thrown at them, they decided to take the crying children down to the pool area and let them cry THERE.

When they reached the pool, they found Inoshi sitting at one of the little tables with his laptop.

"Inoshi, what are you doing here?" asked Senjou.

Inoshi looked up. "Oh, hi." He said, closing the laptop slightly. "I couldn't sleep so I came down here to work a little on my book…I take it the babies kept you four up all night?"

"Not ALL night." Said Senjou. "We slept in intervals."

"Yeah, I just came down here to get something done." Inoshi sighed. "Dad seems offended by my computer. Besides…"

He gestured with his heads towards the three women in the pool that were being feminine.

"What are they doing down here this early in the morning?" Lil Lee wondered.

"They're getting out of the pool and coming over here." Said Senjou. "Guys, you're all married and I'm the most eligible bachelor in Konoha. Just stay out of this."

"I'm not married." Said Inoshi but it wasn't loud enough for anyone to hear.

The three women then came over. Their names were Blonde, Brunette and Red Head.

"Oh my god…look at the cute little babies!" said Blonde. "They're so little. What are their names?"

"Sasuke." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Uh…Kikei." Lil Lee answered.

"Oh, that's so cute." Said Brunette.

"Are you related to the Uchihas?" asked Red Head.

"Red Head, don't ask questions like that." Said Blonde.

"No, it's okay." Said Sasuke Jr. "Actually, a few of us ARE apart of the Uchiha clan. Like me."

"And me." Said Senjou.

"Me too." Said Inoshi, deciding that it was impossible to get ANY work done with all these women around so he closed the laptop.

"Oh, the Uchihas." Said Red Head. "I always wanted to help revive the clan when I was younger."

"Red Head, that's rude." Said Brunette.

"I was just kidding around." Said Red Head.

"It could be a touchy subject for them." Said Blonde.

"It was just a joke." Red Head said.

"Hey ladies!" said Pansuke. "What's goin' down?"

"Um…" said the three women.

"No way, Pansuke, you're married." Said Senjou.

"Oh, that's so cute." Said Brunette. "What's your name, little guy?"

"Little guy?" Senjou said, looking shocked and pointing to himself. "I'm eighteen years old. I'm Uchiha Senjou. I was on the cover of People… yesterday."

"Oh right." Said Brunette. "You look a lot older in the magazine! And taller too…"

"Aw man…" said Senjou sadly as he lowered his head.

"So do you think I could hold the baby?" Blonde asked, reaching for little Sasuke. She didn't want to hold Kikei because he was ugly.

"Um…actually, no." said Sasuke Jr., stepping away. "You can look, but just don't touch."

"But I won't drop him!" said Blonde as she stepped closer but Sasuke Jr. maneuvered away from her.

"Sorry, my wife is part of the Inuzuka clan and any foreign smells at all and she just goes crazy." Sasuke Jr. said, stepping far, far away. "And I don't want to take the chance at all. But you may admire him from afar."

Just then, the door to the sauna opened up. There was a whole mess of steam that just poured out into the pool room and standing there was Lil Gai and Lee with nothing but a towel around their PRIVATE areas. But it's not like it was a big towel that went down to their knees. It was like…two face clothes tied together at the sides.

"Ahhhhh!!" said Lee. "That feels good!"

Lil Lee immediately turned his head away and covered his face. It's not like he would potentially be associated with these crazy people, but it was still very embarrassing.

"What a way to wake up the system!" said Lil Gai excitedly.

Suddenly, Shika and Cho dropped from the sky. Before anyone could even react, they had pushed them all into the pool. They didn't push Inoshi in the pool because there would be no humor in that at all. As Senjou hit the water, he landed on it gracefully as if it was a solid surface while everyone else fell to their watery graves.

"I saved the babies." Said Senjou and, sure enough, he had both of the babies in his hands.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" laughed Shika and Cho as they put their hands on their hips and stood there like they were the best things since sliced bread.

The others resurfaced, HEAPING mad!

"Where's…" started Lil Lee, noticing that all he had was a pool toy in his hand. But then he looked and saw that Senjou was holding his little birth defect. Even though Lil Lee is technically the birth defect around HERE!

"Wasn't that exciting?!" said Shika.

"It WAS, Shika!" said Cho.

"My towel came off!" said Lil Gai.

"Don't worry, Lil Gai, we'll find it!" said Lee.

"Thanks Dad!" said Lil Gai.

"My shoes are all wet." Said Sasuke Jr. as he jumped up and landed on top of the water.

"You shouldn't have been wearing your shoes to the pool area!" said Pansuke as he jumped up on top of the water too.

"Did you guys have to do that?" said Lil Lee as he swam to the edge of the pool and got out like a REGULAR person.

"I hope you two don't think that was funny." Said Sasuke Jr. to Shika and Cho.

"We do." Said Shika.

"EVER so funny." Said Cho.

"It's not." Said Sasuke Jr. He was about to go on reprimanding them but he noticed that they were trying to hold back their laughter. "What's so funny?"

"We switched bathing suits!" said Shika. "And you didn't realize it!!"

"I didn't notice." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Then I'd say the switch was a success!!" said Cho.

"Aren't you guys wearing the same bathing suit anyway?" said Pansuke.

"Um…excuse me but I am wearing the periwinkle bathing suit and Cho here is wearing the baby blue bathing suit." Shika said as if it was obvious. "Not to mention that Cho's says 'Shika' on it because it's usually the one that _I _wear."

"OBVIOUSLY." Said Cho.

"Oh right!" said Lee as he got out of the pool like a normal person as well. "I forgot to tell you all that everyone else already went back to the house! Lil Gai and I were just going to go in the sauna and then go."

"I have to take a shower first." Said Lil Lee. "I have chlorine in my hair."

"Oh, and they also said that the girl's tournament was going to start at nine." Said Lee, looking at the clock that was in the pool area.

"That's only in an hour!" said Pansuke.

"That's not enough time." Said Lil Lee. "Dad, why didn't you tell us this SOONER?"

"Because we were in the sauna!" said Lee, pointing at the sauna.

So everyone went back to their rooms to get ready. The first one in the shower was Lil Lee and it took him AT LEAST twenty minutes to shower. Then he spent the remaining time in the bathroom until it was time to leave.

"Thanks for letting the rest of us take showers." Said Sasuke Jr. as they left the hotel room.

"You guys should have knocked." Said Lil Lee. "I just ASSUMED you didn't need to use it."

"I didn't assume you'd take that long." Said Sasuke Jr., rolling his eyes.

"It looks like you styled your hair." Said Lil Lee.

"I don't STYLE my hair." Said Sasuke Jr. "Shika and Cho style their hair. You style your hair. I don't."

"You mean it dries like that?" said Lil Lee.

"As opposed to…?" Sasuke Jr. said, looking confused.

"Normally?" Lil Lee tried.

"ALL our hair dries like that!" said Senjou. "All as in the whole family. Even Sasuke's!"

Obviously, he was referring to little Sasuke who had the faint makings of Sasuke-styled hair.

They all hurried home but were careful not to drive over the speed limit since that's BAD! Then they got home with only a few moments to spare.


	14. Stop invading my personal space, Kiba

"We were afraid you wouldn't make it!" said Hana. "You guys were the ones I wanted to see me fight! Except for you, Pansuke."

"I came to watch Kajitsu!" said Pansuke proudly.

"You would." Said Hana, crossing her arms.

"Don't worry, Hana, you've got more people watching you." Said Senjou.

"All right!" said Lee, running up to his easel. "The first match is—"

"Lee, we did the first match without you." Said Kiba. "I really wanted to see my god daughter fight."

"What?" said Lee, looking betrayed.

"Yeah, Sanjo beat Hiyoko." Said Kiba, showing Lee the chart.

"Ha!" said Lee. "What's your excuse THIS time, Neji?"

"I'm not going to try and say that Hiyoko is an excellent fighter." Said Neji. "I KNOW Hichou is an excellent fighter. I didn't expect Hiyoko to win."

"Oh." Said Lee, looking deflated of all happiness. "OH WELL!! ON TO THE NEXT FIGHT!! This one is between Jijo and Hana!"

"I want Jijo to win but I don't want her to have to fight against Sanjo." Said Shino.

"Oh shut up Shino." Said Kiba as he shoved Shino.

Shino regained his balance and glared at Kiba.

"You don't have to have to worry about your two daughters fighting each other because Hana will win." Said Sasuke.

"You lost quite a bit of money the other day, Sasuke, do you want to make another bet?!" said Naruto since he had voted for Lil Lee and Sasuke had voted for Shika and Cho.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you Naruto?" said Sasuke.

"READY?!" said Lee. "FIGHT!!!"

The first thing Hana did was use the fire moves that never work.

"WHY do all of you use that first?" said Ino with an exasperated sigh.

"Ino, just get it in your head that we're going to use that to open ever fight." Said Sasuke.

Of course, they didn't work.

"Hana, what have we talked about using those fire moves?" Lil Lee said.

"Um…don't use them because they never work?" Hana tried.

"Right." Said Lil Lee. "So why did you use them?"

"I thought they would work this time." Hana confessed.

"Okay, instead of using the fire moves, what would have been a better alternative?" Lil Lee said. "You have to analyze the fighting style of—"

"HEY!" interrupted Lee Sr. "This isn't a LEARNING experience!! It's a tournament!!"

"Dad, please, she's my student." Said Lil Lee.

"Jijo, do something." Said Shino.

Jijo extended her hands the way Shino did whenever he was calling forth the power of the bugs. Then, the bugs came forth. Hana jumped up into the air to escape their wrath and then caught sight of the shuriken with string attached to it that Lil Lee had used in the fight yesterday so she grabbed on to that to pull herself up into the tree.

"Good use of your surroundings." Lil Lee commented.

"Okay," said Hana, picking up the shuriken and then standing there for a moment. The longer she stood there, the more the bugs covered the surface area of the ground. She winced a little bit and finally said, "Ewwww…"

But then she focused. She had to think of a way to make the bugs go away so she could attack Jijo in a frontal sort of way.

Lil Lee turned to Sasuke Jr. "I think this might be actually the right time to use those fire moves." He said quietly. "But I think it's important that she realizes that on her own."

Sasuke Jr. looked at Lil Lee then up at Hana who looked perplexed.

"Hana!" he called. "Use the fire moves!"

"NO!!" yelled all the non-blood Uchihas. "DON'T USE THE FIRE MOVES!!"

"All right!" said Hana as she formed the hand seals and used the fire moves that never work.

…They worked!!

All the bugs scattered because they don't like fire. While Hana had her chance she leapt down and ran towards Jijo, ready to perform her father's famous Shishi Rendan that Lil Lee helped her perfect. So she kicked Jijo a few times and was just about to Shishi Rendan her like there was no tomorrow when she suddenly found herself kicking a log.

After she landed, she looked around for a moment, figuring that Jijo had replaced HERSELF, but then came to notice that she was standing by Shino who had HIS hands in a hand seal.

"That's enough." Shino said. "She's only ten years old."

"Um…okay…" said Hana.

"Hey, where'd you learn to use that excessive force, Hana?" said Sasuke Jr. asked, looking at Lil Lee.

"That wasn't excessive force!" said Lil Lee. "She had to defeat her opponent! Shino's just overprotective."

"I'm not overprotective." Said Shino even though it was obvious that he was.

"So Hana wins that one by forfeit!" said Lee. "The next fight is between Moujo and Kajitsu!"

"Dad, don't pull me out of the fight at any time!" said Moujo to Shino.

"If I HAVE to then I will." Said Shino.

"You won't have to!" said Moujo. "Just please don't, okay?"

Shino was crossing his fingers. "Okay." He said.

"Okay, Lee, give ME pointers during my battle too!" said Kajitsu.

"I will." Said Lil Lee.

"Don't give Naruto's daughter more pointers than you gave my daughter." Said Sasuke.

"I wasn't keeping track." Said Lil Lee but he was used to Sasuke being annoying like that.

"Dad, don't worry, she needs them more than me." Said Hana in that fashion that you could obviously tell she wanted EVERYONE to hear her.

"No I don't!" yelled Kajitsu. "You BETTER win in your battle against Sanjo so we can fight against each other in the finals!"

"Hey, how do you know you'll beat me?" said Moujo.

"Because I have to fight Hana!" said Kajitsu. "And I'm older than you."

"Oh." Said Moujo. "But you're a year older than Hana too!"

"Yeah but…we graduated together and you only graduated this year so it FEELS like she's the same age as me." Said Kajitsu. But then Kajitsu got serious and put her hands in a seal. The battle arena then became very foggy.

"This is vaguely similar to what Pansuke did yesterday!" said Cho.

"Yeah, and he ruined my stylish battle uniform!" said Shika.

Moujo was looking around intently for any sign of Kajitsu.

"Remember what we went through, Kajitsu." Said Lil Lee. "This genjutsu attack mixed with properly timed taijutsu could very well end the fight."

"I wish MY teacher was here!" complained Moujo as she went extra on her guard for the attack.

Suddenly, from behind, Kajitsu attacked. Moujo spun around to block the attack but, upon coming in contact with Kajitsu, she only poofed and disappeared. As Moujo realized it was only a Bunshin, she was hit from behind by the REAL Kajitsu.

Moujo took the fall and immediately got to her feet just in time to block Kajitsu. Kajitsu felt she had a good chance of winning in a taijutsu match so she stayed up close. Moujo knew she couldn't win in a taijutsu match, but before she could get away, Kajitsu landed a hit. As Moujo went skidding across the ground, she kind of wished she hadn't asked her father to never take her out because then she would have an excuse for losing. She knew she couldn't win. But she didn't want to drop out in front of everyone… especially Senjou!!

While she had this entire inner monologue, Kajitsu came forth for another attack. It was hard enough to defend against someone who was better at taijutsu than she was, but to have to do it was she couldn't see was just going over the edge. Besides! Kajitsu also had her teacher there to help her.

Kajitsu hit Moujo again and knocked her up against a tree. Moujo could have gotten up at that point, but she figured it was pointless and that she had already lost. So she only bowed her head in shame while Kajitsu did a victory dance.

"Kajitsu is the winner!" said Lee.

"Take THAT Hana!" said Kajitsu. "Lee only gave me one hint in the whole fight and it was something I already knew!!"

"Dad, I'm sorry I didn't win." Said Moujo as she trudged over to her dadoo as Sanjo and Hana went over to the battle area.

"It's my fault." Shino said in that 'I really should have just sacrificed you to the bugs…' tone.

"Whoever wins THIS battle will compete in the finals against Kajitsu!" said Lee.

"I beat your older sister, I can beat you too!" said Hana confidently, pointing at Sanjo.

"Don't boast at the beginning of a battle." Said Lil Lee.

"Boasting is all right." Said Sasuke.

"No, boasting is not all right." Lil Lee said, looking annoyed that Sasuke would just say something like that while he was trying to teach his students. "That's not how I teach."

"She's MY daughter." Said Sasuke.

"But it's my job to teach her how to fight and I say that boasting is not all right." Lil Lee said.

Sasuke only glared at him. He wasn't going to win THIS battle.

"FIGHT!!" Lee yelled.

Of the Sisters Aburame, Sanjo knew she was the weakest. It was clear to her even at her young age that Hana was far superior to her but forfeiting a match was WAY out of the question. Her father would likely disown her if she did something like that so she called forth the bugs anyway.

"I feel like I've already fought this fight!" said Hana as she used the fire moves that don't work to make the bugs scatter. I guess we have to change the name of the fire moves the never work to the fire moves that only work against the bugs. Either way, it's nothing to be PROUD of. Then, after the bugs had dispersed, Hana ran up and was just about to smash Sanjo when she was suddenly replaced by a log.

Hana immediately looked over to where Shino was standing only to be surprised because Sanjo was not there. She looked surprised at first but was then jerked back into reality when she was suddenly kicked in the back of the head.

When she recovered, she saw Sanjo standing there and all the bugs coming back.

"You have to automatically assume that your opponent is trying to do something sneaky." Lil Lee said as Hana rubbed her head and whined slightly.

Hana knew she HAD to win because she had to fight Kajitsu and prove to everyone that she was better. That meant that there would be no mercy and it was now time for one of her FAVORITE moves, BESIDES the fire moves that only work on the bugs.

Actually, we're completely psyching you out. She used the fire moves that never work on the bugs again and then she used the Shishi Rendan. Or at least, she STARTED to use the Shishi Rendan but Shino pulled Sanjo out just in the nick of time exactly like he had done so against Jijo.

"I wish I knew that that was all it took to defeat the Aburames back when I was a teenager and went through a phase of NEEDING to defeat Shino at least once after he became a jounin!" said Kiba.

"_I _would not be defeated by a simple few kicks." Said Shino.

"SURE you would, Shino!" said Kiba as he went to shove Shino again but Shino stepped away.

"Stop invading my personal space, Kiba." Shino said forcefully.

"Fine." Said Kiba, crossing his arms and sulking.

"Congratulations!!" said Lee. "The final match is between Kajitsu and Hana!! Let's see what happens!!"

"Go on, SAY IT!" said Pansuke to Lil Lee.

"…Say what?" Lil Lee asked.

"Say it, you KNOW you want to!" said Pansuke.

Lil Lee waited. "I…don't know what you're talking about." Lil Lee said finally when Pansuke didn't take a hint by his confused face.

"You KNOW you want to say that you're a superior teacher because both your students made it to the finals." Pansuke said.

"I wasn't going to say it because there are no other teachers here that I would be comparing myself to." Lil Lee said. "Besides, I didn't even notice it. But now that you've pointed it out, I can't help but agree. It just goes to show that I AM a superior teacher."

"Keep in mind that I taught Kajitsu a lot of the genjutsu she knows!" said Pansuke.

"I figured she must have learned it somewhere." Lil Lee said. "Because I know I certainly didn't teach it to her."

"That's right!" said Pansuke. "Just remember that!"

"Okay...I'll remember that." Said Lil Lee, turning away from Pansuke only to be ambushed by Naruto and Sasuke.

"Don't give Sasuke's daughter ANY hints during the fight!" Naruto said.

"Like she NEEDS them." Said Sasuke, scoffing.

"Oh yeah, she DEFINITELY needs them!" said Naruto. "But she won't get them because Kajitsu is Lee's FAVORITE!"

"That's not true." Said Sasuke, looking crossly at Lil Lee.

"Hey, don't look at me, HE said it." said Lil Lee, backing away.

"But it IS true!" said Naruto. "Notice how he's not denying it!"

"Hey, can we start this fight already?!" said Hana, sounding annoyed.

"YES!" said Lee Sr. "LET'S!!"

"I'll start!" said Hana, forming the seals for the fire moves that never work.

"I give up." Said Ino. "They won't stop so I might as well not bother."

Kajitsu easily dodged the fire moves. As Kajitsu was landing after her dodge, Hana moved in and attacked. Kajitsu was ready to block. They knew exactly how each other fought so they knew when to block and when to attack and everything! IT WAS INSANE.

Finally, they figured it was pointless to continue taijutsu fighting so they separated.

"I guess, once again, it'll be a battle between my ninjutsu and your genjutsu!" said Hana.

"Don't ALL our battles somehow end up like that?" said Kajitsu.

"Genjutsu OWNS!" said Pansuke.

"Shut up, Pansuke." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Make me!" said Pansuke.

Sasuke Jr. only turned away from Pansuke and tried to ignore him.

"Yeah, I THOUGHT so!" said Pansuke.

Because Pansuke threw in that comment, Sasuke Jr. spun around and bitch slapped him.

"HEY!" said Pansuke.

"I thought so." Said Sasuke Jr.

What followed was a very intense battle between ninjutsu and genjutsu. Not between Pansuke and Sasuke Jr., though. It was between Kajitsu and Hana. But everyone knows that ninjutsu is cooler than genjutsu and therefore, Hana rose triumphant!

"THE WINNER IS HANA!!" said Lee. "Unlike eight years ago, the tournaments were not both won by Uchihas. As a matter of fact… LIL LEE WON THE FIRST TOURNAMENT!!!"

"WE KNOW!!" yelled everyone.

"Oh, that reminds me!" said Ino. "Sasuke, I had this idea that Lee and Senjou should fight!"

"Yes…" said Sasuke, looking intrigued. "That way, we could prove to Lee and… Lee… that Senjou is the strongest."

"Oh that's all right!" said Senjou with a laugh. "I don't need to prove it!"

"HA!" laughed Lee Sr. "I'd like to see him go up against Lil Lee's speed and his taijutsu! I mean… I completely understand if you're afraid."

"Dad, stop now." Said Lil Lee.

"I'm not afraid." Said Senjou, looking offended.

"Senjou, now you DEFINITELY have to fight him." Said Sasuke. "Just look at him standing there being all cocky."

"I don't need to fight Senjou." Said Lil Lee.

"YES YOU DO!!" yelled Lee.

"Lee's just AFRAID!" said Pansuke. "I mean, it's okay for Senjou to be afraid because he's only ten or whatever but Lee's an adult!"

"I think I want to fight Pansuke." Said Senjou, glaring.

"Calm down, Senjou." Said Pansuke. "Whoa. It was just a joke."

"Well now that you're in the mood for fighting, why don't you fight Lil Lee?" said Lee as he ran over to Senjou and faced him in the direction of Lil Lee.

"I don't…WANT to…" Senjou said. He had seen Lil Lee fight plenty of times before and he knew he was better than him. He didn't want to have to fight him now and embarrass him in front of everyone!! What a nice guy!!

"How about we just go shopping now?" Hinata said. "And later on, if they feel like fighting… they can do it?"

"Yeah!" said Kiba. "It's OUR anniversary and we don't feel like having to watch Senjou and Lee fight!"

"I never said THAT Kiba…" said Hinata.

"Well, okay, then whatever Hinata said." Said Kiba.

No one could really argue because Kiba and Hinata were so pleasant and it WAS their anniversary. Besides, a lot of people wanted to go shopping anyway so they all went to the mall and immediately split up.


	15. And Chouji’s at Big and Tall

"I can't believe it!" said Sasuke Jr., sounding appalled. "Tashoku hasn't taken Sasuke a single time. It's getting to be really annoying."

"Just remember that I don't even have the option of handing my son off to someone else." Said Lil Lee.

"I think the first place we should go for shopping is The Rainbow Store!!" said Shika.

"I LOVE THE RAINBOW STORE!!!" exclaimed Cho.

"Oh my god, the Rainbow Store?!" gasped Lil Gai.

"Isn't 'The Rainbow Store' the gayest store in the world?" said Pansuke.

"Yeah, so?" said Shika.

"We like the Rainbow Store." Said Cho.

"You can get a lot of really nice clothes there." Shika said.

"Let's go to the Rainbow Store!!!" cheered Cho.

"Let's just humor them." Said Inoshi. "We can go to the Rainbow Store for a little while so they can buy THEIR clothes and then we'll leave. Okay?"

"OKAY!!" said everyone, including Inoshi.

They all went into the Rainbow Store, which definitely was the gayest store in the entire world.

"Oh my god, Cho!!" yelled Shika. "Look!! It's those fleecy tees that weren't coming out until next month!!"

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Cho as he ran over to the fleecy tees. "These aren't supposed to come out until next month!!"

"They released them early for the season!" said a man who was an employee at the store.

"WE MUST TRY THEM ON!!" yelled Shika and Cho as they grabbed the fleecy tees and sprinted off to the changing room.

"Me too!" said Lil Gai as he grabbed a green fleecy tee and ran off to the changing rooms as well. Everyone else just kind of stood there in the doorway for a second.

"We can't leave until they're done." Said Senjou with a shrug.

So they all started looking around, just in case they did find something that looked good.

"No, no, no!" said an employee as he ran over to where Lil Lee was shifting through some clothes. "Those do not go well with your complexion at all! Come over here to where the more summer colors are. Pinks and oranges are so hot this season."

"I do not wear pinks and oranges." Said Lil Lee.

"Maybe you should start." Said the employee as he took a pink shirt off the rack and held it up in front of him.

"HA!" laughed Pansuke as he walked over. "You should get that, Lee."

"Yeah right, Pansuke." Said Lil Lee. "I think YOU should get it. It would match your hair."

"No way!" said the employee. "Then there would be too much pink on top! Unless you planned on wearing pink pants as well, that would be a big fashion no no!"

"Pink pants?" said Lil Lee and Pansuke at the same time.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I don't know if it was a very good idea to split up from the guys." Said Sakura.

"Why?" said Tenten. "Because they all have zero fashion sense? Or at least Lee and Lil Gai do?"

"No, that's not what I was thinking, but that's a good reason too." Sakura admitted. "It's just…we don't know if we'll pick out clothes that will clash with each other! I KNOW Naruto will come back with something orange!"

"Then why don't you pick something that will match orange?" suggested Hinata.

"I guess…" said Sakura. "But I love wearing pink."

"Well, I think that Sasuke's just going to be wearing the same thing he ALWAYS wears to fancy things." Ino said. "White shirt, black pants. It's not hard to match with that."

"I just went through the entire maternity section and there was only ONE dress in there in my size." Said Kobiru, coming around the corner and holding a HORRIBLE red dress with black polka dots and a bow in front.

"It looks…lovely!" Tashoku said.

"Don't lie to me, I KNOW it looks awful!!" cried Kobiru.

"I was a little worried about Kiba picking out his own clothes for the party so I took him out shopping yesterday." Hinata said.

"That was a good idea." Said Tenten. "I should have done that."

Meanwhile, the young girls were searching for clothes in the section for young girls.

"My dad told me to pick out something either white or black…" Hana said mostly to herself as she looked through the racks for something in her size.

"My parents don't FORCE me to wear a certain color!" said Kajitsu.

"They're not forcing me to!" said Hana. "They just suggested it so we would match better in the pictures! I bet YOU'RE going to be wearing pink again, aren't you?"

"Do you have a problem with pink?" said Kajitsu.

"You ALWAYS wear pink." Said Hana. "I have NEVER worn pink."

"This dress is really pretty!" Moujo exclaimed as she took a dress of the rack. It was bright yellow with sunflowers all over it and it was reasonably short cut and there were very little sleeves. "I want to try it on! I have a feeling that this is the one I'm picking!" She turned to her two sisters who were just standing there like fools. "What are you two going to wear?" she asked.

They shrugged. "This." Said Jijo.

"What you're wearing right now?" said Moujo, looking confused.

"Yes." Said Jijo.

"Okay…I'LL pick something out for you!" Moujo suggested as she went off to search for something in Jijo or Sanjo's size.

Hiyoko, who is quite possibly the most pointless character we have ever created, didn't have to bother picking out clothes since her father had brought her perfectly tailored dress to the party just so they wouldn't have to do this sort of thing. Isn't he smart?!

MEANWHILE!!!

The men were off frolicking about trying to find the perfect clothes that their wives would appreciate. It's a lot easier to shop for men.

"I know Sakura will wear something pink…" said Naruto. "Guys, what matches with pink?"

"Purple?" Shikamaru said.

"Aw man, I don't want to have to wear purple!" complained Naruto. "But I know she'll kill me if I bring home anything BESIDES something that matches what SHE brings home!"

"Hey, where did Chouji go?" said Kiba randomly.

"He went to Big and Tall across the way." Said Shino.

"Oh, okay!" said Kiba.

"I already have the BEST tuxedo at home!" said Lee. "It is the same one as Lil Gai and we both look so youthful in them!"

"Yeah, I have clothes at home already too." Said Sasuke.

"Me too." Said Neji.

"Me three!" said Kiba. "But…I guess it would be… 'me FOUR…'"

"And Hichou does too." Neji continued.

"And Shikataro." Shikamaru added.

"I don't need to buy any clothes." Said Shino.

"So, essentially we're here for Naruto, Shikamaru and Chouji?" said Kiba.

"I'll wear this." Shikamaru said, taking the closest thing off the rack.

"Yeah, I guess this'll be okay…" Naruto said, picking up a shirt that was dark purple and sighing slightly. He just wanted to make the wife happy.

"And Chouji's at Big and Tall." Someone else finished.

"Okay…so what do we do now?" asked Sasuke.

"Shoes?" Kiba suggested.

"YEAH!!" cheered everyone as they jumped up and punched the air.

MEANWHILE!!!

Sasuke Jr., Inoshi and Senjou were currently trying on some gay clothes just so they could laugh about it. They were brothers after all and, since they already had their clothes at home, they could waste their time like this.

"These platform shoes have fish tanks in them!" said Senjou, picking up a pair of platform shoes with… fish tanks in them.

"Wow, they'll make you a little taller!" said Pansuke, coming out of nowhere.

"You know, I was finally at ease without you being here." Said Senjou, looking annoyed.

"I think you should get some platform shoes." Said Pansuke.

"Pansuke, you're only two inches taller than him." Said Sasuke Jr.

"But I LOOK older." Said Pansuke.

"That's because…you ARE." Said Senjou. "I'm eighteen. You're twenty-four."

"HA!" said Pansuke. "Twenty-THREE!"

"What was the point of the 'Ha'?" Inoshi asked. He wasn't trying to make fun of Pansuke in asking that question, he was genuinely curious as to why Pansuke thought that was an appropriate time to laugh at Senjou.

Then Lil Lee came walking over. "Can we leave this store?" he said. "If one more guy hits on me then I swear…"

"Just hang out with me and we'll pretend we're lovers so no one else will hit on you." Said Sasuke Jr.

"…What?" said Lil Lee, looking stupefied.

"See?" Sasuke Jr. continued. "These are our beautiful adopted children. Yours could pull off being adopted. I don't know about mine. Hey! And you can be the woman of the relationship because you have long hair and you whine."

"But I'm taller and built more manly so doesn't that automatically make me the man?" said Lil Lee.

"No, no it doesn't." said Sasuke Jr. as he grabbed some random store clerk who just so happened to be walking by. "Excuse me. We're having a lover's quarrel. Who is the man of this relationship?"

"YOU'RE the man!" said the store clerk as he leaned on Sasuke Jr. and rested his head on his shoulder.

"See?" said Sasuke Jr. "I AM the man."

"Whoa." Said Lil Lee. "This is an argument I never thought I'd be having."

"I think this conversation automatically makes the both of you women." Said Pansuke.

"Pansuke, I would say that you're the woman too, but no man in his right mind would go out with you." Said Sasuke Jr. "And I, being the man, would certainly never go out with you or anyone like you."

"This guy knows what he's talking about!" said the store clerk.

"You can leave now." Said Sasuke Jr. The store clerk shrugged and left.

"You are definitely overconfident with your masculinity." Said Lil Lee. "And I don't know whether to respect you for that or not."

"Just respect me for it." said Sasuke Jr. "As long as Tashoku and I know I'm not gay, I'm fine with it. And…my father too. If he thought I was gay, I would probably die."

Just then, Shika and Cho ran out of separate changing rooms. "I found the outfit I want!!" announced Shika.

"Me too!" said Cho.

Then they looked each other up and down to find that they were wearing the exact same thing.

"WOW!!" said Shika. "Cho, this has got to be a twin thing!"

"You KNOW it is, Shika!" said Cho.

Lil Gai then came walking over. "I already have a tuxedo at home, but it was fun to try on these flamboyant clothes that not even _I _would wear!" he said.

"OKAY!!" said everyone, including Lil Gai.

"Could we go into a real store now?" said Lil Lee.

"Yeah, I guess." Said Sasuke Jr. "Shika and Cho? You guys have the clothes you want?"

"YES!" said Shika and Cho as they ran back in the changing room to get back into their original clothes.


	16. I exist

MEANWHILE!!!

"I can't believe that after almost fifty years, I'm going to be wearing a color that ISN'T pink to a formal event!" said Sakura sadly as she carried her new yellow dress.

The group of twelve girls was making their way to the shoe store.

"It's a pretty dress." Said Hinata who had a nice little light blue thing.

"Besides, Kajitsu got a pink dress too and you two would look funny if you both had pink on." Said Tenten who had a dark green dress.

"I guess." Sighed Sakura.

"Ino, how come you didn't get a dress?" Tashoku asked. She had a black dress.

"Um…" Ino started, wondering whether or not this was something she wanted to share with the group. "I'm not very good at picking out dresses so I asked Sasuke to find one for me…"

"Oh, okay." Said Tashoku. She found it to be normal because she knew Sasuke and everything had to be PERFECT for him.

"I don't want to wear this!" Kobiru complained, holding her horrible maternity dress.

"Hinata, thank you for buying my dress and volunteering to buy my shoes!" said Moujo, coming over and holding her yellow sunflower dress from earlier. "My dad will pay you back."

"It was no trouble." Said Hinata. "You're like a niece to me! You remind me a lot of Tashoku when she was a little girl!"

"Really?" said Moujo as if nothing could excite her more. She went back over to where her two sisters, Hiyoko, Hana and Kajitsu were all walking. Hana had her black dress and Kajitsu had her pink dresses. The other three didn't have dresses.

"My dress OWNS your dress." Said Kajitsu.

"WHATEVER, Kajitsu." Said Hana in the girl tone.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All right, after going down the whole line and finding out that we all already had shoes…" Kiba said, sounding despaired as the group of ten exited the shoe store. "What do we do now?"

"Um…man, this is boring." Said Naruto. "I have WAY too short of an attention span to meet the girls in three hours so we can finally go home."

"No, we're meeting the girls in three hours so they can go to the hair salon and then we have to wait for them and THEN we can finally go home." Said Sasuke.

"How about we find the other boys?" suggested Lee. "No doubt they're done with their shopping and are thinking the same thing as us!"

"Yeah!" said Kiba. "And then we can go ice skating!"

The group could only stare at Kiba. No one really knew what to say, except Shino who always knows what to say whenever Kiba has randomly spouted something completely outrageous. "Ice skating?" was all he said, but that's all that was needed.

"YEAH." Said Kiba as if everyone was about to mention it anyway. "There's a free skate nearby and I think it would be fun to ice skate since I've only done it once before when Hinata took me!"

The men shrugged and figured what the hell ever. So they started using their ninja powers to go off and find the boys.

MEANWHILE!!

The young men all left the Rainbow Store, hopefully never to return, with the exception of Shika and Cho who wished they could return ASAP.

"All right…now that Shika and Cho have found their clothes…" said Sasuke Jr. to the rest of the group. "The only other people we're shopping for are Lee, Gai and Pansuke."

"No, I already have a tuxedo at home!" Lil Gai reiterated.

"Okay…only Lee and Pansuke then." Sasuke Jr. corrected himself.

"What about you guys?" said Lil Lee, referring to the straight Uchihas.

"We brought our clothes." Said Senjou.

They all went into a nice fancy place where they could purchase man's clothing.

"Gai, I think you should pick something out here for yourself." Said Lil Lee.

"No, how many times to I have to say that I have something to wear at home?!" demanded Lil Gai.

"Don't you ever want to wear something different to parties?" said Lil Lee. "Or something different than Dad? You're not ten anymore. You should acquire your OWN sense of style. …Different from our father's."

"This IS my style!" said Lil Gai. "I inherited my style from Dad! Just because you didn't, doesn't mean you should try to make me suffer as well!"

"Make you suffer?" said Lil Lee.

"Have you guys found anything yet?" Sasuke Jr. asked, coming over.

"I'm not looking for anything, I already have a tuxedo!" said Lil Gai.

"Excuse me," said Sasuke Jr. "Lee, have YOU found anything yet?"

"I haven't really gotten an opportunity to look." Lil Lee answered. Just then, a stampede of people came into the store. It's not like they were random people though.

"Have you boys found anything yet?" Kiba asked.

"I'm still looking." Lil Lee and Pansuke said.

"Wow, we had the same problem." Said Naruto. "We found out that everyone in our group with the exception of just a few people already had all the clothes they needed and it was ludicrous to continue shopping!"

"Lil Lee, have you chosen your tuxedo yet?" Lee asked.

"I don't plan on wearing a tuxedo." Lil Lee answered. "Probably just a nice shirt and black pants."

Lee flinched. "You have to at least wear a tuxedo." He said.

"Dad, don't worry, I'M wearing our tuxedo!!" said Lil Gai.

"Fine, Lil Lee, fine, just what color are you going to wear?" Lee said finally.

"I don't know…" Lil Lee said. "I was thinking black at first but that would look kind of dumb with black pants. So probably dark blue… maybe white."

"BUT OUR WHOLE FAMILY WILL BE WEARING GREEN!!!" screamed Lee, being overly dramatic as usual.

"I know." Said Lil Lee.

"I was planning on buying this green shirt…" said Pansuke, looking at a green shirt thoughtfully.

MEANWHILE!!!

"These shoes are equally as hideous as my dress but I have to match!" whined Kobiru.

"No offense, Kobiru, but when you're pregnant, you don't look good in ANY dress." Said Tashoku as she tried on a pair of shoes.

"Yeah but I'm going to look REALLY bad." Whined Kobiru. "And then you're father's going to yell at me for ruining his pictures."

"He's letting you in them?" asked Hinata with a surprised tone.

"He's NOT letting me in them?!" Kobiru asked. "I thought I was going to be in them because I'm here!"

"Oh yes." Said Hinata nervously. "Ha ha. Of course. What was I thinking?"

"How many pictures are we taking anyway?" asked Ino.

"I was talking to Kiba earlier about the pictures and he's got this whole elaborate thing going on." Said Hinata with a smile that said, 'Oh my silly husband. He's just so crazy and adorable but that's why I love him'.

"Am I the only one trying on shoes?" asked Sakura as she tried to jam a shoe that was way too small for her on her feet. When you shop with women, you have to LIE about your shoe size that everyone thinks you're cool. Even when you're in your late forties.

"I'm still trying on shoes." Said Tenten.

"Yeah, me too." Said Tashoku.

"I think we're ALL trying on shoes, Sakura." Said Ino. "Well, except me."

Meanwhile, the younger girls were listening in on their mumsies' conversation. Except for Shino's three daughters and Neji's daughter who were listening in on the conversation of the women their fathers were acquainted with.

"How many pictures do you think we'll be in?" asked Hana more to herself than to anyone else.

"Well, I know you're not going to be in the Uzumaki picture." Said Kajitsu.

"Not that I WANTED to." Said Hana.

"Well even if you DID want to, I wouldn't let you."

"Do you think they'd take a picture of just me and Senjou?" asked Moujo. "I mean…for my website."

"Or for your wall." Said Jijo but no one really heard her except Sanjo who WOULD have laughed had she not been filled to the brim with bugs. So she just pushed her sunglasses up on her nose to acknowledge the joke.

"Guys!!" whined the blushing Moujo as if her sisters had just taunted her endlessly and given away some horrible secret.

"Maybe Lee will take a picture with his students." Sighed Hana hopefully.

"But Cornelius isn't here." Pointed out Kajitsu. "It's kind of pointless to not have our whole three man team with us."

"What if we each got individual pictures with him?" Said Hana. "That would just be my dream."

"It was my dream first." Said Kajitsu.

"Your mom!" yelled Hana.

"I exist." Said Hiyoko.


	17. Your son shan’t be ignored!

MEANWHILE!!

"So ice-skating?" coughed Kiba as the huge swarm of males continued to wander the mall.

"You guys can go ice-skating." Said Sasuke as fixed a twisted strap on Little Sasuke's overalls. "I might meet up with you later but I think my grandson and I are going to stop off at Baby Gap."

"Dad, he doesn't need anymore clothes." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Babies grow really fast and I think he needs a new pair of mittens." Said Sasuke as if there would be NO convincing him.

"Usually the woman of the house is in charge of picking out baby clothes." Said Pansuke with a chuckle. "But I guess in your family, you ARE the woman of the house!"

"NICE ONE!!" Naruto said as he went to slap Pansuke five.

Sasuke wasn't going to let that one fly. He bitch-slapped Pansuke so fast that Naruto didn't even have time to high-five him.

"HEY!!" Naruto yelled. "Don't hit my son!"

"Then teach him never to speak to or about me again." Said Sasuke. "And if you're not going to, then I am." Then he turned to Pansuke and glared at him with that famous glare that he does SO well. "Got anything else to say?"

Pansuke shook his head angrily.

"Maybe _I _should smack him next time he bothers me." Said Senjou thoughtfully.

"I don't know why I never thought about it before." Said Sasuke Jr.

Inoshi was just about to say 'Violence is wrong, you should solve things with your words instead!' but he held back at the last second because he feared that he would ALSO get a bitch-slap from his father for saying that.

Lee cleared his throat.

"Well, I KNOW that Kikei needs some new clothes!" he said. "Lil Lee, this kid's clothes are WAY too small for him! When's the last time you bought him some clothes?"

"Baby clothes are expensive." Said Lil Lee. "And with my teacher's salary, I can't afford to be buying new clothes every two months."

"What about your wife's salary?" asked Lee.

"What about it?" Lil Lee snapped all too quickly.

"Sasuke, you just want to buy something that Little Sasuke likes more than Sharky-Shark so that YOU can be the favorite!" said Kiba. "Well you CAN'T."

Sasuke pretended not to care, but on the inside, he was shaking his fist at Kiba.

"Hey!" said Naruto. "I'm going to be a grandfather soon too! Maybe I should go into Baby Gap as well!"

"Actually, I don't want to anymore…" said Sasuke wistfully. If he could go ALONE, that would be good. If he could go with just his grandson, that would be ideal. But if Sasuke had to go with Lee, Kiba and Naruto… well, let's just say that Sasuke would rather slit his wrists.

"Oh my god!" shrieked Cho as he pointed to a little baby mannequin in the window of Baby Gap. "Look at that hat!"

"Dear lord Cho!" said Shika. "I think that that hat in red would be simply ADORABLE on Little Sasuke!"

"You read my mind!" said Cho as the two of them ran into Baby Gap to purchase the hat, which most likely was made for girls.

"My poor son." Sighed Sasuke Jr. as he watched his father run in after the twins to make sure that the mittens he wanted would be purchased as well.

"Oh yes." Said Lil Lee. "Your poor son. All those people just buying him clothes. I feel his pain."

"Fear not, Lil Lee!" said Lee as he dashed into Baby Gap. "Your son shan't be ignored!"

"There, you see?" said Sasuke Jr. "Clothes for everyone."

"Clothes bought by my father don't count." Said Lil Lee. "My father's not sane like yours is."

"Whoa whoa whoa…wait." Said Sasuke Jr. "Did you just say that my father is sane?"

"Did I just hear the words 'my father' and 'sane' used in the same sentence without some sort of negative word in there?" asked Senjou as he turned around from Yoshi land.

"Yeah." Said Inoshi as he came back from Yoshi PLANET. "Our dad might not be as flamboyant as yours but, in my opinion, he's LESS sane."

Lil Lee stared at the three eldest Uchiha men.

"I am speechless that you would even THINK that." He said finally. "My dad, forgiving the way he looks, goes around screaming like a five year old and wears polka dotted suits with enormous bows."

"Okay, you ready for this?" said Sasuke Jr., officially in a competition. "My dad dedicated about twenty years to nothing but killing his brother. From the time he was seven, he refused to be normal because he was so obsessed."

"He's obsessed with being better than EVERYONE." Said Inoshi.

"And he puts little fans like this one…" said Senjou as he gestured toward the two Uchiha fans on his shirt. "…on everyone's clothes. Two on mine actually."

"This isn't fair, you're triple-teaming me." Said Lil Lee.

"Get Gai on your side." Said Sasuke Jr. Lil Lee looks over at little Gai who was asking the lady who worked at Baby Gap if they had any suits that were green with white polka dots and huge bows.

"No." said Lil Lee. "He's just as bad."

MEANWHILE!!

"How are you girls going to get your hair done?" Ino asked the other five women. All the younger kids were currently getting their nails done and, upon everyone's completion, they would all just SWITCH!

"Simple." Hinata said. "I want it to look nice, but I don't want it to be so elaborate that I can't even recognize who I am."

"No, you have to get it different!" said Sakura since it was obvious that Hinata was only getting it slightly styled from her usual hairstyle.

"This is your twenty-fifth anniversary!" agreed Tenten. "It will never come again!" At that point, she whipped out her twenty-fifth anniversary picture and showed it to everyone. Half the picture was filled with people that looked exactly like Lee and then there were random different looking spouses. Including all the children! They all looked like Lee!! Except for Lil Lee. He looked like himself.

"This is such a great picture!" exclaimed Ino, reaching over Sakura and Hinata and snatching the picture.

"How come we weren't invited?" said Tashoku in a joking manner.

"It was only family." Tenten replied. "…I'm sure you can see that."

"Our family section is really small." Hinata sighed. "Mostly because almost all of my family is dead. But Kiba's got family to spare to make up for it!"

"BUT ANYWAY, the reason why I took out this picture is to show you my hairstyle!" said Tenten.

"Your hair is longer than mine though." Hinata pointed out. "I can't do much with my hair."

The picture had finally made its way down to Tashoku and Kobiru.

"Tenten, do you think your son would be nearly as depressed if he looked more like all these happy smiling family members of yours?" Tashoku asked.

"Who?" Tenten asked. "Lil Lee or Lil Gai?"

Tashoku looked slightly stumped. "…Who do you think?" she said.

"Lil Lee I guess." Tenten sighed.

"I don't think Lee's depressed." Said Kobiru.

"Well, that's something that can be debated throughout history!" said Tenten. "MY theory is that his braces and glasses made him depressed and the hair was just something added on that wouldn't have bothered him if he didn't have braces or glasses."

"But in the long run, all those facial birth defects really helped him." Sakura said.

"Facial birth defects?" said Kobiru and Tashoku at the same time.

"You didn't notice?" said Tenten. "Lil Lee has eight facial birth defects."

"…Oh." Said Kobiru and Tashoku, trying to picture Lil Lee in their heads.

Meanwhile, the little girls were getting their nails done.

"This is so nice!" said Kajitsu. "I'm going to try to keep my nails like this for as long as I can! They've never looked this good because I bite them."

"_I _don't bite MY nails." Said Hana as if that was a reason why she was better. And to her, it was.

"Come on, aren't you two going to get your nails done at least?" Moujo said to Jijo and Sanjo who were just sitting there with their hands in their pockets. They both shook their heads and Moujo gave a heavy sigh as if they made her sad.

"I hope I don't have to be in any pictures with YOU Hana." Said Kajitsu since they were arguing when you got that Aburame interruption.

"As much as I have to hope for that as well, I'M smart enough to realize that we will inevitably end up in a few of the same pictures." Hana said.

"I KNOW that we will!" said Kajitsu. "I was just hoping we wouldn't have to!"

"You were the one who said you wanted to take a picture with just you, me and Lee!" Hana reminded her.

"Actually, Hana, that was you." Moujo said.

"Are you taking her side?!" demanded Hana.

"No…" Moujo said. "I'm not taking any side!"

"You have to admit, I'm so much better than Hana." Said Kajitsu.

"No, I'M better!" said Hana.

"Don't make me choose between the two of you!" whined Moujo.

"It's not like you're choosing who will be your friend, you're just choosing who's better!" said Hana. "Remember? I won in the tournament!"

"But I beat YOU." Kajitsu said.

"And I beat your sister that you said yourself was better than you!" said Hana, pointing to Jijo. Then she paused and pointed to Sanjo. Then she pointed to both of them. "I beat them both!"

"Guys, if you put me in this situation for any longer then I'll just hang out with someone else." Said Moujo. She knew whom she thought was better, but she was far from admitting it to anyone or else all hell would break loose.

"You're right." Sighed Hana. "Sorry about that, Moujo."

"Yeah, sorry." Agreed Kajitsu.

"It's okay." Said Moujo.

"There's only ONE person who knows for sure who's better!" said Hana.

"And that's LEE!" said Kajitsu.

"So we'll ask HIM!" said Hana and Kajitsu at the same time.

"Is this all you two ever talk about?" asked Hiyoko since she WAS there.

"No." said Hana. "Sometimes, when we're not feeling quite so competitive, we talk about hot guys."

"And lucky us!" sighed Kajitsu sadly. "We got stuck with the only NOT hot guy in our class as the third member of our three-man team!"

"But almost as if someone was making it up to us, we got Lee as our teacher!" said Hana grinning happily as if the mere thought of it just made her giddy.

"His first year, he failed his three students before they even became real genin." Said Kajitsu. "NO teacher does that to their first group of students! But we were cool enough to be his students!"

"He just didn't want to fail ME." Said Hana.

"That's not true!" said Kajitsu. "He didn't want to fail ME!"

"Here we go again." Said Moujo, shaking her head.


	18. If you don’t, I will disown you

MEANWHILE!!!

The men were currently putting on their manly skates except for Shika and Cho who had figure skates. And they weren't even the man's black figure skates. They had the woman's WHITE kind.

"So who here has actually been skating before?" said Senjou as the younger men all hung out in the same area. All the older men had already got all their skates on and gone out to the rink.

"Kobiru and I went skating on our first date!" announced Pansuke. "Three days after Lee's wedding!" He paused. "Who gets married in the winter?!"

"It's what she wanted." Lil Lee answered.

"She as in your wife?" Sasuke Jr. questioned.

"Yeah." Said Lil Lee. "Let's not talk about her anymore."

"Why?" said Sasuke Jr. with a raised eyebrow. "We all knew her too. She was in our class."

"So?" said Lil Lee. "We don't have to talk about her. Ever."

"Why, did she leave you?" Shikataro asked.

Lil Lee glared at Shikataro.

"Isn't she just on a vacation with friends?" said Pansuke.

"If by 'vacation' you mean 'an immeasurable amount of time' and by 'with friends' you mean 'I have no idea where she is or who she's with' then yes." Lil Lee said as he pulled the laces on his skates so tightly that they ripped right off. "Oops."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LIL LEE?!" gasped Lil Gai. "IS SHE NEVER COMING BACK?!"

"Shut up, Gai." Said Lil Lee. "I don't want Dad to know."

"I think he's going to notice after a while." Said Inoshi.

"HAHA!!" laughed Pansuke. "Now you don't even have a wife anymore! I got the girl! I got the girl!"

"Why'd she leave?" Lil Gai asked, tears streaming down his face.

"Well, after almost two months of her being gone, I got a message on the machine." Lil Lee said. "She explained that she felt we were never really in love in our marriage in the first place. She also said that she couldn't deal with my family or the youthful glow that would inevitably show up in all our children."

"Couldn't deal with our family?!" Lil Gai exclaimed.

"A message on the machine…that's tough." Said Senjou.

"Yeah…keep in mind that I don't need the rest of my family knowing this." Lil Lee said, more to Pansuke than to anyone else. "Pansuke, if you do one decent thing in your life then make this be it."

"WhatEVER Lee!" said Pansuke, giving Lil Lee the hand.

"Did you hear what just transpired, Shika?" said Cho.

"I did, Cho." Said Shika with a nod.

"I think this looks like a job for…" started Cho.

"THE STYLISH DUO OF KONOHA!!" screamed both of them, striking dramatic poses with a starburst background.

"Matchmaking Edition!!" Shika said.

Meanwhile, out on the ice, everyone was getting ready to get on.

"I'll stay here and hold the grandchildren." Said Shikamaru as he sat down on a bench.

Then Chouji lumbered over. "Nope!" he said. "No skates in my size! I'll just have to sit here!" He sat himself down next to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stood up. "On second thought, I'll skate." He said.

Sasuke had never really skated before so he mustered up his Sharingan from inside him and discretely copied a good skater's style while everyone else continued to talk.

"I'm so excited to skate!!" said Lee as he jumped on the ice and started flailing around.

"Lee, you're going to throw your back out." Said Neji.

"No I'm not!" laughed Lee. "I've never thrown it out before and I don't intend to allow it NOW!"

"You've NEVER thrown your back out?" said Neji. "You're almost fifty and you've never thrown your back out?"

"I admire that." Said Kiba.

"Why, you have?" Lee asked to the general public.

"I have!" said Kiba as if it was something to be proud of. "Oh right! THAT'S why Hinata never took me skating before! Because the last time we went skating, that's the time I threw out my back!"

"Then maybe you ought to not skate." Shino said. "Your anniversary is tomorrow and I know you'll only blame me if it's ruined because of your back."

"Don't be silly, Shino." Said Kiba. "I would NEVER blame you. Unless, of course, it was actually your fault."

"I know you would find a way to make it my fault." Said Shino.

"No I wouldn't!" laughed Kiba.

Then it was silent. Everyone with the exception of Chouji, who was watching the two grandchildren, skated onto the ice. Especially Kiba who literally skated onto the ice while everyone else skated on top of the ice.

"I'll get the hang of it!" said Kiba as he started to stand up but only ended up sliding across the ice like a little gingerbread man.

"Remind me again why we're ice skating." Said Naruto.

"Because our wives and children are getting their hair and nails done." Sasuke replied.

"Oh right." Said Naruto as he watched Sasuke skate around with ease. "Since when can you skate, Sasuke?!"

"Since when can I NOT skate?" Sasuke said.

As Sasuke and Naruto engaged themselves in another argument, Shino and Neji looked at each other, sighed and then simultaneously pulled out their own copy of Inoshi's novel and started reading it.

Then the young men came up!

"Dad, what are you reading?" Hichou asked as he skated over.

"Just a book." Neji answered.

"Oh." Said Hichou as he sat down by his father's feet and leaned his head up against his leg.

Shikamaru came over to where Shikataro was sitting down. "Shikataro, you're skating." He said.

"Dad, why are YOU skating?" asked Shikataro.

"You're skating." Shikamaru repeated as he handed Shikataro some skates that were his size. "And if you don't, I will disown you."

"All right…" said Shikataro. He would have skated anyway, but whatever.

"THERE!!" yelled Shika and Cho, standing on either side of Lil Lee as they pointed at the rink at the many people who were skating around.

"What about it?" Lil Lee said.

"The skating rink is the perfect place to find a future lover whether it be male OR female!" said Shika.

"All you have to do is act like you can't skate." Said Cho. "It mostly works for women, but they can't help but fall head over heals for a man who can't take care of himself!"

"All right, you know what? No." said Lil Lee, pushing them away.

"Are Shika and Cho trying to set you up with someone?" asked Sasuke Jr. as he was in the process of copying someone else's mad skating skills.

"Why, do they do this a lot?" Lil Lee asked.

"A lot." Said Inoshi since he was another one of the poor victims.

"Inoshi, you know how it's done!" said Shika.

"Just pretend like you can't skate!" Cho added as they shoved Inoshi onto the ice. He stumbled around foolishly for a moment and finally landed on his arse.

"Great job, Inoshi!" said Shika.

"Even I was convinced that you've never skated before!" said Cho.

Poor Inoshi. If only he was an awesome ninja…!

"Lee, I've decided that from now on, if you do anything to offend me or annoy me, I'll tell your dad about your little divorce!" said Pansuke.

"It's not a divorce." Said Lil Lee. "And I'm not THAT desperate to keep it a secret so I'm not going to bend to your will."

"Aww…" said Pansuke, sad that he missed out.

"Okay, I'm ready to skate." Said Senjou as he finished up his current copying technique.

"LET'S GO!!" screamed Lil Gai as he dove out onto the ice as if it was a swimming pool and just ended up sliding across it.

"Why would he do that?" Sasuke Jr. asked Lil Lee.

"Don't ask me." Said Lil Lee, backing off.

"Come, Cho, we've explained our advice to Lee." Said Shika. "Whether he chooses to take it or not is all up to him."

"So let us show everyone our incredible pair skating technique!" said Cho.

"I get to be the woman this time!" said Shika.

"Oh Shika, your figure is so much more slender than mine so it's easier to hoist you up!" said Cho.

"Don't say that, Cho!" said Shika. "You have a fantastic figure!"

"Not as fantastic as YOURS!" said Cho.

"You both look exactly the same!!" yelled Pansuke.

Shika and Cho turned their noses up to Pansuke, joined hands and then skated out onto the ice.

Senjou grabbed Inoshi's hands and helped pull him up. "So are we going or what?" he asked.

"We're going." Said Sasuke Jr. as he stepped out onto the ice as well and they all started skating.

"Look at my mad skating skills!" said Pansuke as he spun around. "Look! I can skate backwards! This is ANOTHER thing I'm better than Lee at!"

"What are you talking about?" said Lil Lee who was merely gliding forwards and facing Pansuke. "Since when are you better than me at anything?"

"I'm better than you at fighting!" said Pansuke, sticking out his tongue.

"How about someone backs me up for once on this one?" Lil Lee said, looking at the oblivious Uchiha three.

"Lee is better than you at fighting, Pansuke." Said Sasuke Jr. finally.

"Wow, thanks." Said Lil Lee, looking annoyed.


	19. You genuinely smell like kitty litter

MEANWHILE!!!

"I have to admit…I did think Pansuke and Kobiru were jumping the gun a bit." Sakura said. "They were only dating for a few months before they decided to get married."

"Tashoku and Sasuke were dating ever since they were seventeen!" announced Ino.

"Lil Lee and Aikan were dating ever since they were thirteen!" said Tenten. Everyone applauded her, which was unfortunate because they were currently getting their nails done.

Ino sighed. "I just hope Inoshi finds a nice woman with the same interests as him." She said.

"Just being an Uchiha makes him a step above all the other men." Said Hinata.

At that point, Tashoku and Kobiru returned from their bathroom break so it was officially time to find a new topic of conversation.

"So, we know Tashoku hasn't planned on a name for her child, what about you, Kobiru?" asked Sakura.

"Well, Pansuke and I have discussed it a lot." Kobiru answered. It was pretty obvious that she had been waiting for someone to ask her this. "And we've narrowed it down a lot. If it's a girl, we'll name her Shouhai. If it's a boy, we can't decide between Gantai and Okurasu."

"That's…creative." Said Tenten. "I have to admit, I was the most uncreative person when it came to choosing names. In fact, I didn't choose the names. Lee did."

"That's obvious." Said Ino. "Sasuke and I took turns naming the children. He named Sasuke, I named Inoshi, he named Senjou, and I named Shika and Cho. Then he let me name Hana because I had wanted a girl so badly."

"That's what happened in our family!" said Tashoku. "Sasuke chose the name for Sasuke and I'm picking the next name!"

"Lee was a bit upset when Lil Lee didn't name Kikei Lee the Third or something like that." Tenten said. "For a little while, he went through a phase of calling Kikei 'Lee Three' which is, I have to admit, quite adorable. But Lil Lee wouldn't have it."

"I hope it's a girl…" said Kobiru dreamily as if they were still talking about her.

"Tashoku, did you know that all your children will have about forty-seven advanced bloodlines?" Ino asked.

"Huh?" said Tashoku.

"Well, Kiba has one and Hinata has one." said Ino. "Then there's the Uchiha advanced bloodline from Sasuke. I'm just sorry that I'm the only one who was unable to contribute any special advanced powers."

"That's right." Said Hinata. "How exciting."

"My children are so lucky." Sighed Tashoku. "Even though I only wanted one."

"When I was younger, I wanted to fill my house up with children but all that changed once I married Lee!" said Tenten. "Whether it was our chronically depressed child or our hyperactive child! I was afraid of what would be next! Not to mention they all would have that youthful glow!"

"You really have to stop dwelling on that." Said Sakura. "I got over the fact that my son got pink hair while my daughter got blonde hair."

"Sakura, that's hair." Said Tenten. "We're talking about my children's FACES. And no doubt Lil Gai will find a nice girl who doesn't mind his looks and they will have children that all look exactly like my husband as well! And then Kikei will get older and have children that all look like Lee too! By that time, Lil Lee will of course have already committed suicide because he can't seem to get it through his head that he can never be part of ANBU."

"Don't talk like that!" said Kobiru. "He obviously just needs a better wife!"

It was silent.

"Okay…so…twenty-five years!" said Tashoku to her mom. "How's it feel, Mom? That's such a long time!"

"I think we already went through this." Said Hinata, smiling pleasantly and trying not to be rude.

"Share some hilarious anecdotes about when you two were younger!" said Sakura rather forcefully. "Like…what was life like BEFORE Tashoku came along?"

"We were hardly married for half a year before I got pregnant." Hinata said.

"It's so hard to picture you two at my age!" said Tashoku.

Meanwhile, the younger girls were getting their hair done.

"My hair is going to look so much better than yours!" said Kajitsu. She had long, blonde, curly hair so it was easier to be creative with her hair.

"I'm not competing with you over hair." Said Hana. She just had shorter than shoulder length black hair that was usually just put back with a headband. It would probably just end up in a headband again anyway.

"Um…I was talking to Moujo!" said Kajitsu, wanting to save face.

"What?" said Moujo, turning around. She had been distracted because she was trying to convince her two sisters to get their hair done. Her hair was about the same length as Hana's, a little shorter, and BROWN! "Did you just say that you were competing with me?"

"Never mind!" said Kajitsu, sounding annoyed as if everyone had just bothered HER.

"ANYWAY," said Moujo, looking back at Sanjo and Jijo. They both had brown curly pigtails. "You guys didn't get new dresses or shoes or get your nails done! Can't you at LEAST get your hair done?"

They both shook their heads together.

"Why?" said Moujo. "You're not gaining anything by NOT doing it." She looked back at Hana and Kajitsu. "I'm so jealous of my sisters! I love their hair. They have curly hair but I have straight hair but they never take care of it! It's so weird because both my parents have curly hair too. I'm so different!"

MEANWHILE!!!

"Well, we all knew that SOMEONE would throw their back out… but who would have thought it'd be Shikamaru?" said Kiba as if it was funny as the older wave of people walked away from the skating rink.

"Oh Shikamaru!" laughed Chouji.

"How did you manage to throw your back out?" said Naruto to Shikamaru who was walking in such a fashion that certainly suggested that his back was NOT thrown out. "You weren't even doing anything."

"I didn't really throw it out." Said Shikamaru. "I just didn't feel like skating anymore."

"You could have just SAID that!" said Lee.

"Yeah!" said Kiba. "You went and CONCERNED us!!"

"You all could have stayed." Said Shikamaru. "It's not like my presence would have affected you all in any way since I rarely participate in 'the fun' at any other point in time."

Everyone enjoyed a good chuckle until the question arose; whatever were they going to do now?

"I suppose we can go and see if the girls are done." Said Sasuke, looking at his watch.

"Okay." Said whoever hasn't said anything yet. Shino. Or Neji. They're practically interchangeable at this point.

So the group went over to the hair place where they promised to meet the girls. Sure enough, all the women were inside just finishing up.

"Sasuke, did you get my dress?" said Ino, standing up.

"Yeah." Said Sasuke, showing Ino the black dress he picked out.

"Wow!" said Ino. "That's the one I saw and wanted! Did you get my shoes?"

"Why WOULDN'T I?" said Sasuke, showing Ino the shoes.

"Oh, I didn't see these shoes!" said Ino, marveling.

"You have to know where you look." Sasuke said.

"I guess so!" said Ino, looking at the price tag. "What a bargain!"

Everyone else tried to avoid eye contact.

"Tenten, you got a green dress, right?!" said Lee frantically, looking around in the bags that were around Tenten.

"Yeah…" Tenten said, sounding slightly despaired.

"This is HORRIBLE!" Lee exclaimed. "Lil Lee got something WHITE!!"

"…So?" said Tenten. "White matches green!"

Lee froze. "You're right!" he said heartily. "And I guess it'll be all right since the polka dots on my suit are white anyway."

"You never said anything about polka dots on your suit." Said Kiba, coming out of nowhere and giving Lee a slight push.

"Why does it matter to you?" said Lee.

"Because it's my anniversary and they're MY pictures!" said Kiba.

"Kiba, it's all right." Said Hinata. "He can wear whatever he wants."

"Hinata!" said Kiba. "Your hair looks SO pretty!!"

"You think so?" Hinata said nervously. "Everyone else was trying to convince me to do something flashier…"

"No, it looks FINE!" said Kiba.

"Naruto, aren't you going to compliment me on MY hair?" said Sakura.

"I was about to!" said Naruto. "But everyone else was being too loud and Sasuke was busy being the housewife that I didn't get a chance!"

"Did you just call me a housewife?" said Sasuke, turning around and grabbing Naruto's collar.

"Oh, I'm SO scared!" said Naruto sarcastically.

"Not this again…" said Shikamaru, rolling his eyes.

"Shikamaru, aren't they just SO argumentative?" said Chouji.

Shikamaru eyed Chouji and then stepped away from him.

Just then, all the younger girls as well as Tashoku and Kobiru came over.

"Tashoku!" said Kiba. "Your hair looks wonderful! Except you smell like shampoo and perfume."

"EXCEPT?" said Tashoku. "I like this smell!"

"It smells OKAY, but I like your regular smell better." Said Kiba. "But YOU, Kobiru, are smelling as foul as usual!"

"Dad!" said Tashoku.

"It's true!" said Kiba innocently.

"Do I _really_ smell that bad?" said Kobiru.

"No, my dad's just overreacting." Tashoku explained.

"He said I smelled like used kitty litter so OBVIOUSLY he's overreacting." Said Kajitsu, crossing her arms.

"No." said Kiba. "You genuinely smell like used kitty litter."

"Dad!" said Moujo, running up to Shino. "Look at the dress I got!" She showed Shino the dress she got on the hanger. Shino stared at it.

"It's very nice." Said Shino. "And yellow."

"Thanks!" said Moujo. "I got shoes to match!"

"They match wonderfully." Shino said.

"But Jijo and Sanjo didn't get anything." Moujo said.

"Okay." Said Shino, looking at Jijo and Sanjo for confirmation. They nodded.

"And I got my hair done!" said Moujo as she spun around to model. "Do you think I look pretty?"

Moujo obviously has to be very specific with her questions that can be easily answered with a yes or a no. "Yes." Shino replied.

"That's exactly what Jijo and Sanjo said!" said Moujo excitedly as if it was a response to get excited about.

Hiyoko walked over to Neji who was standing with Hichou. Yes. Hichou IS there. Neji never goes anywhere without Hichou unless he is FORCED to. "Dad, I didn't really do anything to my hair." Said Hiyoko. "I wanted YOU to braid it for me!"

"We'll see." Said Neji.

"Dad, you're the greatest dad ever." Said Hichou. This conversation was, of course, a private little Hyuuga one that fortunately no one overheard with the exception of Kiba and Tashoku of course who were pretty much FORCED to overhear it. But it's not like they cared.

"Naruto, you STILL haven't complimented me on my hair." Said Sakura.

"Or mine!" said Kajitsu.

"You both have REALLY nice hair!" said Naruto.

"Oh, so you're just complimenting us in a clump instead of doing us each individually?" said Sakura. "I see how it is."

"What do you WANT from me?!" Naruto said.

"Dad, it's okay!" said Kajitsu. "I know you think my hair looks better than Hana's does!"

"WHAT?" said Sasuke, turning around.

"Sasuke, just ignore those Uzumakis." Said Ino.

"Yeah, it's pretty plain to see that MY hair looks better!" Hana piped in.

"Yours looks the same as it ALWAYS does!" yelled Kajitsu.

"Which just goes to show that even when your hair is dolled up all nice and stuff and mine isn't, I STILL look better!" said Hana, sticking out her tongue. Sasuke wanted to resist, but he couldn't help but pat Hana on the head for that one.

"HEY!!" said Kajitsu.

"EXCUSE ME!!" said the hairdresser who OBVIOUSLY had been trying to get their attention for quite some time. All the arguing people turned around and looked at their interrupter quizzically. "Please. Stop arguing in my salon. If you can't keep your tempers under control, I will have to request that you leave."

"Fine!" said Lee. "We know when we're not wanted!! Come, Tenten!"

"…Okay…" said Tenten as Lee grabbed her arm and pulled her out as he buried his face in his free hand and began to cry. Everyone else followed suit of course and pretty soon, they were ALL on the outside!!

MEANWHILE!!

"Hey…" said Inoshi suddenly, looking around the rink.

"What?" asked Senjou.

"Everyone left." He replied.

"Hm…" said Senjou.

"WHAT?!" yelled Lil Gai. "My dad left without telling me?!"

"Yeah, they all left a little while ago." Said Pansuke as if everyone hadn't come to that conclusion already.

"Gai, did you see if Dad took Kikei with him?" Lil Lee asked, taking it upon himself to look around the rink for his child who needed to be supervised.

"Shikataro, Shika and Cho are watching him and Sasuke." Said Sasuke Jr. pointing to the side of the rink where Shikataro was sitting with Shika and Cho. Shikataro had decided not to skate since the only reason he WAS skating was because his dad had forced him to. Since his dad was now gone, he didn't have to skate so he decided to watch the children. But then Shika and Cho came over and insisted on playing with their little toes and little heads and they were just so CUUUUUUUTE!!

"They certainly have a tendency of doing that." Said Senjou.

"Who has a tendency of doing what?" Inoshi asked.

"Our parents have a tendency of leaving randomly without telling us, especially after making us do something that they want to do." Senjou clarified.

"It's time for us to be meeting the girls now anyway." Said Sasuke Jr., looking at his watch.

Inoshi looked at his watch too.

"What, do you not trust my time telling skills?" Sasuke Jr. asked, eyeing Inoshi.

"No, I was just making sure." Said Inoshi.

"I think I know how to tell time." Said Sasuke Jr., looking SO offended.

"I was just…I just wanted to see what time it was." Inoshi said hesitantly. "And you never really did say what time it was."

"Whatever, Inoshi." Said Sasuke Jr.

"So what do we do?" said Pansuke. "Do we stay here and hope that they come to get us or do we go off and find them just in case they're waiting around and getting as offended as Sasuke just randomly got for no reason?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Sasuke Jr.

"You have to admit, you got offended for no reason just now." Pansuke said.

"No I didn't." said Sasuke Jr. "I had a reason. Inoshi was challenging my ability to tell time."

"No he wasn't." said Lil Lee. "He was just looking at his watch. You could, technically, say that you were challenging HIS ability to tell time by wearing a watch on the same day as him."

"Oh, what so now everyone's against me?" said Sasuke Jr., looking even more offended than he should have.

"I don't mind." Said Inoshi, trying to get everyone to stop arguing so Sasuke Jr. wouldn't end up punching him.

"Okay, it really doesn't matter." Said Senjou. "Let's just get off this ice and go find everyone else."

"But I'm having fun!!" complained Lil Gai.

Eventually they all left the ice since they were bored except for Lil Gai who was having fun but his opinion meant absolutely nothing to them. And, since they're mostly smart kids, they knew that their aim was to go to the hair salon where the women had stated they would be. It wasn't too hard to find their female family members as well as the rest of their family members as well.

The day passed uneventfully until it was finally time for bed once again. All the males traveled back to the hotel they were staying at and the women went into the house!! Except for Kiba and Shino of course. They returned to the house with the women too. Shino pretty much retired to the guest room right away upon returning but no one really argued since he was a stick in the mud anyway. Jijo and Sanjo accompanied him but no one cared about that either since they too were sticks in the mud like their father.


	20. Hichou, don’t forget your plastic pants

"Tomorrow's the big day!" said Tashoku to Hinata.

"I know!" said Hinata, sounding a little excited. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep!"

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" said Hana as she jumped into her sleeping bag.

"Good idea!" said Kajitsu. "For once!"

"Shut up!" said Hana.

"I agree." Said Sakura. "I think a nice game of truth or dare will be good for us and help us feel younger!"

"I haven't played truth or dare in…wow…thirty-five years!" Ino remarked.

"Everyone knows the rules right?" Tenten double-checked.

"Oooh, can I go first?" Kobiru requested.

"I think Hinata should go first." Said Kiba with an angry and vengeful glare in Kobiru's direction.

"Um…I don't know who to pick!" Hinata said. "Why doesn't one of you younger girls start it out?"

"Okay!" said Kajitsu. "I'll go first! Moujo, truth or dare?"

"Truth!" said Moujo.

"What?" said Kiba. "NO ONE picks TRUTH!"

Then he looked around the room and realized that he was the only source of testosterone.

"Never mind." He said, lowering down into his seat.

"Okay…" said Kajitsu, trying to think of a good truth that she could sufficiently embarrass Moujo with, but not CRUEL embarrass. She didn't have to bother asking her who she liked since Moujo was pretty much an open book about that stuff so now she was at a dead end. Then she got an idea. "If your 'crush'—" Moujo blushed at the sound of this word and Kajitsu did the quotey things. "—had a girlfriend but he asked you to go out with him, would you go out with him anyway?"

"EW!" said Hana ONLY because she knew that Moujo's crush was her brother…Senjou. And her other crush was her other brother…Inoshi.

"That's such an embarrassing question!" said Moujo.

"You have to answer!" said Kajitsu. "Besides, at least I'm not SAYING who your crush is!"

"Oh, who's your crush?" said Ino since she was in the mood to feel young again.

"I'm not saying!" Moujo said, turning bright red.

"You have to tell us!" Sakura pleaded.

"Oh come on, just say it." Said Hana. "It's not like it'll be news."

"Oh, it's Senjou isn't it?" said Ino.

"EEEK!!" said Moujo, blushing furiously as she covered her face.

"And Inoshi!" Kajitsu added.

"Both of them?" Ino was with two raised eyebrows but in a slightly amused tone.

"I'm so embarrassed!" Moujo exclaimed as if it wasn't obvious.

"She says she has a website!" said Kajitsu.

"Wouldn't be the first out there…" said Ino. "Well, it might be INOSHI'S first." Then she looked at Moujo who was writhing around on the ground. "But it's not like there's anything wrong with that! I'm sure they'd be flattered to hear!"

"Don't tell them!!"

"I'm telling them!" teased Hana just because she could.

"No!!" said Moujo. "Please don't!! If you do then I'll tell you know who about you know what!"

She directed her last comment at both Kajitsu and Hana who looked at her questioningly, as did the rest of the room.

"You know." Said Moujo. "Your teacher."

"NO!" yelled Kajitsu and Hana immediately.

"What?" said the older women.

"You mean Lee?" said Kobiru. "I had a crush on him when I was younger. I never told anyone though. I don't even think HE knew!"

"Whoa Tenten…I'd look out for your oldest if I were you." Whispered Kiba to Tenten. But then again, he wasn't really whispering. He wasn't even pretending to whisper. He just SHOULD have been.

"It's never a good idea to have a crush on someone." Said Sakura. "It never works out."

"It did for me." Said Ino with a smile.

"Well, I meant to say it USUALLY doesn't work out." Sakura corrected herself.

"It worked for me too." Said Kiba as he put his arm around Hinata who jumped at the sudden pressure on her shoulder.

But you know she liked it.

"But he's so much older than you guys." Hiyoko said pointlessly just to prove that she's there.

"Who?" asked Kajitsu. "Senjou, Inoshi or Lee?"

"All of them I guess." Hiyoko shrugged.

"That doesn't matter!" said Hana.

"Yeah!" said Kajitsu. "Old people get married to young people all the time!"

Everyone looked around but none of them could find a case to contradict or prove what Kajitsu had just said.

"They're not really OLD…" said Ino because she just realized that if people were calling her children old then they were calling her REALLY old. "Senjou's only eighteen."

"Well, oldER I guess." Said Kajitsu.

"Besides, don't you all think you're a little young to be thinking about marriage?" said Tenten.

"We got a little sidetracked from our game." Said Hinata.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I'm so excited for the party tomorrow Shika!!" said Cho as he hung up his incredibly stylish outfit that he was wearing to the party.

"I know, Cho!" Shika agreed, hanging up his identically stylish outfit right next to Cho's. "But I promised myself I wouldn't cry!"

"I'm getting a little choked up now!" said Shika, fanning his face.

"Don't cry NOW, Shika!!" exclaimed Cho.

Lil Gai and Lee both hung up their tuxedos in the closet that the hotel had provided right next to Shika and Cho's outfits.

"Oh man, we are going to be the four most stylish guys there!" announced Lil Gai. Lee high fived him.

"Um…heh heh…yeah…" said Shika since he and Cho both knew that Lee and Lil Gai were FAR from stylish. At least by THEIR standards.

"Dad, how should we do our hair?" asked Lil Gai.

"Is that a trick question son?" Lee said. "I would think by now, you'd know."

"I'm sorry father!" Said Lil Gai as he saluted Lee.

"We're going to need to wake up at LEAST three hours earlier than usual, Shika." Said Cho.

"Do you think that will be enough time?" Shika asked, looking concerned that Cho was cutting it so close.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Look, they cleaned up the room!" said Hichou as he frolicked into the hotel room. "And they left a chocolate on my pillow!!"

"Very nice, Hichou." Said Neji.

"Dad, do you need more ice?" Shikataro questioned.

Shikamaru looked at the little tub to see it was only filled with water. "I guess we do since it all melted." He said. "You'd THINK they'd fill it up for us."

"Maybe they filled it up but it melted since they cleaned it." Neji said.

"Maybe." Said Shikamaru with a shrug.

"Hichou, don't forget your plastic pants." Said Neji as he pointed to Hichou's suitcase.

"But dad…" whined Hichou.

"Plastic pants?" said Shikamaru as he started piecing things together. "Neji, I'd like to have a word with you for a moment…"

MEANWHILE!!

"So are the sleeping arrangements the same?" asked Naruto to the room. "Because I think I should get to sleep in one of the beds this time. The cot had a weird lump on the side and my back hurt today."

Sasuke only looked at Naruto like he was retarded. "I will have nothing to do with that cot." He said.

"I won't fit on it." said Chouji gleefully.

"Um…I don't mind." Said Inoshi. "After all, if I'm on the cot then I would be able to work and the light wouldn't…" but he only trailed off because the other three were looking at him weird and he felt very uncomfortable standing there. Talking. In front of all three of them. So he kinda just stopped.

"I'm not sleeping in the same bed as Sasuke." Said Naruto, crossing his arms.

"Then you just secured the cot for yourself for another night." Sasuke said.

"I don't see why you're entitled to the bed and I'm not." Said Naruto with a raised eyebrow.

"Naruto." Said Sasuke. But then he just couldn't continue considering how much better than Naruto he was.

"I think I actually want to sleep in the cot." Said Inoshi thoughtfully.

"Inoshi, Naruto is sleeping in the cot." Said Sasuke. "You get the bed. As do I."

"Guys, I'm really sorry." Said Chouji. "If I weren't so large, I'd have taken the cot."

"We wouldn't need a cot if you weren't so large." Said just about everyone. IN THEIR MINDS.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Guys, I think out of the four of us, I am by far the sexiest." Said Pansuke out of nowhere.

The other three paused for a moment or two, wondering if they heard correctly.

"Were you TRYING to set yourself up for that one?" Lil Lee said finally.

"No, I really think I am." Said Pansuke. "And the strongest too."

"Are you intoxicated?" Senjou asked suspiciously.

"You guys just don't want to admit that it's true." Pansuke sighed.

"Pansuke…" said Sasuke Jr. "Perhaps your parents never talked to you about the many varying levels of ninjahood one can acquire in their lives."

"Yeah but even that doesn't cover the fact that he thinks he's the sexiest." Said Lil Lee.

"He's not." Said Sasuke Jr. "Plain and simple."

"Guys, guys, guys…" said Pansuke. "Have you EVER met a girl who could resist me?"

"Pansuke, stop." Said Lil Lee. "I don't even know whether you're serious or not and that shouldn't be."

"Okay, I'll explain why I'm the strongest first." Said Pansuke. "Then I'll dive deep into why I'm the sexiest."

"Love to hear it." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Okay." Said Pansuke. "I can beat Lee with absolute ease! I don't even break a sweat!"

"Yeah but…" started Lil Lee.

"Not done!" said Pansuke. "And Lee beat Sasuke. So there you have it. The most powerful."

"What about me?" asked Senjou pointing to himself.

"You don't count."

"Why?" asked Sasuke Jr. "Because he is so CLEARLY more powerful than you?"

"No." said Pansuke. "Because he's like…eleven. And I think I'm more powerful than some little preteen."

Senjou raised his hands and put them in such a position that implied he was going to choke Pansuke until no more air could get to his lungs. But luckily, Lil Lee and Sasuke Jr. stopped him from doing so ONLY because they were curious as to why Pansuke thought he was the sexiest.

"And it's quite easy to see that I am the sexiest!" Pansuke said. "DUH. I just am. Have you looked at me lately?"

"Um…yeah." Said Sasuke Jr. and Lil Lee, looking AWAY.

"I'm just WAITING for the call from Sexy Ninjas Unlimited!" said Pansuke, looking pumped.

"You haven't been in Sexy Ninjas Unlimited?" said Sasuke Jr. with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, like YOU have?" said Pansuke.

"Pansuke, you obviously have had too much to drink." Said Sasuke Jr. "You have to lie down before you say anything else that is completely unreasonable."

"I haven't had ANYTHING to drink!" said Pansuke.

"You should at least say you have so you can have an excuse for the illogical things you are spouting right now." Lil Lee advised.

"Lee, you shouldn't talk." Said Pansuke. "After all, I got the girl and you're the single one."

"Pansuke, let's forget that I ever said that." Said Lil Lee.

"Ah, sorry man." Said Pansuke. "No can do. It's WAY too valuable."

"I say we let the eleven year old strangle him." Said Lil Lee.

"I'm not eleven." Said Senjou as he gave Pansuke a quick punch in the face. A painful one that knocked him unconscious.

"Oh crap…" said Sasuke Jr. "We have pictures tomorrow."

"Well…" said Lil Lee. "I won't be the one with a black eye."

"Now I feel bad…" said Senjou. Then he paused. "But not THAT bad."


	21. It’s an honor to be your twin, father!

MEANWHILE!!!

"I sure hope everyone looks great tomorrow for the pictures." said Kiba. "And that nothing is out of place or wrong."

"Now why would anything be out of place or wrong?" Sakura laughed.

"I don't know." Said Kiba. "I get these feelings about things sometimes."

"It's true." Said Hinata as if someone had stood up to them both and said, "NO! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!"

"On a completely random and unrelated note, have you told Sasuke that you're pregnant?" Ino asked Tashoku.

"Um…no…" Tashoku said uneasily. "There hasn't been a good moment yet. It has to be just right."

"Yeah but you are aware that he's just about the only person who doesn't know." Said Ino.

"Well, besides all the other men, yes." Said Tashoku.

"I don't think he'll be happy about being the last to find out." Said Ino. Everyone looked at each other with a nervous look. "Especially if KIBA found out before him."

"What's wrong with that?" asked Kiba. "I think I deserve to know. I'm the grandfather too!"

"Yeah but…" started Ino. "I think it's still best if we all pretend that we didn't know ahead of time."

"I don't think I should need to pretend." Said Kiba defiantly.

"Kiba, please…" said Hinata.

"We'll just tell Sasuke when Kiba's not around." Said Sakura as if she had ANY say whatsoever.

The younger girls, meanwhile, had ventured off to retrieve the Sexy Ninjas Unlimited Magazines that had been confiscated from them earlier.

"How can anyone be so naturally good looking?" sighed Moujo as she opened up the Uchiha Edition. "Especially an entire family?" She swooned at the mere thought of the entire Uchiha family, then looked at the picture and almost fainted.

"We're just gifted I guess." Said Hana casually. "Unlike SOME families…" she added, looking in Kajitsu's direction.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Kajitsu demanded.

"I wasn't saying anything." Said Hana but you KNEW she was.

"Guys, just stop fighting and look at the pictures." Said Moujo.

"Ew, my brothers." Said Hana. "I'm not going to lose consciousness on THEIR account no matter how good looking they are. Instead…" She picked up the other issue that wasn't entirely centered around the Uchihas and opened it. Then she sighed.

"Lee is so handsome." She said. "But more so in real life."

"He's definitely more attractive than anyone in your family." Said Kajitsu as she tugged on the magazine a little so that she could see too.

"Um…excuse me?" said Hana. "I may find him more attractive than anyone in my family but only because they're my family. But even YOU have to admit that my family is all around better looking than just about every family in the world."

"Whoa…" said Kajitsu. "That was a pretty arrogant thing to say just then."

"Oh come on." Said Hana. "Everyone knows it to be true. What other family has a magazine EDITION dedicated to them?"

"It's only because there are so many of you and your clan is being revived!" said Kajitsu.

"You tell yourself that." Said Hana. "Moujo agrees with me, don't you?"

"What?" asked Moujo obliviously since she was FAR too busy admiring the many sexy pictures of Senjou.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So you've never officially beaten Neji in a fight?" said Shika as he, Cho, Lil Gai and Lee all sat around on a bed like they were girls at a slumber party.

"No…" Lee said, bowing his head in shame.

"I bet you could beat him NOW, Dad!" said Lil Gai.

"No, no." said Lee with a sigh. "I'd best not even try."

"I bet you could beat him too!" said Cho. "Reach for your dreams!"

"You think so?" said Lee in a slightly excited tone.

"YEAH!" said Shika, Cho AND Lil Gai.

"YEAH!" said Lee, standing up as a wave crashed behind him. "I bet I could!! I'm going to go challenge him right now!"

Lee jumped up from the bed and started marching for the door but the three youths sprinted over to the door and dove in front of it.

"We didn't mean…NOW…" said Shika cautiously.

"Oh." Said Lee. "TOMORROW then."

"Yes!" said Cho. "Tomorrow!"

"But Cho, don't be ridiculous." Said Shika. "We have pictures tomorrow."

"I think it was a given that I meant AFTER the pictures, Shika." Said Cho in the 'DOI!!!' tone.

"Now I'm pumped!" said Lee. "I bet I could beat Neji! I've been training non-stop for as long as I can remember!"

"Go dad!" cheered Lil Gai. "Neji's out of shape!"

"Don't say that, Lil Gai!" said Lee. "Never underestimate your opponent!"

"Awwww!!" Lil Gai yelled dramatically as his eyes burned with fire.

MEANWHILE!!

Neji, meanwhile, was massaging his leg. He had reason to believe he had pulled a muscle while ice skating but was FAR above announcing it to everyone or even sharing it with the people in his room. Especially since he hadn't done much skating.

"Has anyone gotten the ice yet?" he asked suddenly.

"Dad's getting it now." Said Shikataro who was only sitting there foolishly looking like Vash the Stampede.

"HEY DAD!!" came Hichou's voice from the bathroom. "DAD!!"

"What is it Hichou?" said Neji since he didn't feel like getting up.

Hichou came rushing out of the bathroom. "Hey!" he said. "Did you know the shower in here WORKS?!"

Neji and Shikataro stared at Hichou questioningly.

"It's so cool!" Hichou said enthusiastically when he got no reaction. He figured they just didn't understand the full extent of the coolness.

"That is excellent, Hichou." Said Neji finally.

"Yeah!" said Hichou as he ran back into the bathroom. All he needed was a bit of a reaction.

"Um." Said Shikataro. He didn't know what else to say.

MEANWHILE!!

"Okay, so by your logic Sasuke…" started Naruto. "You get BOTH beds while me, Inoshi and Chouji share that one cot?"

"I never said that Naruto." Said Sasuke though he might very well HAVE said it, just not consciously. Then he stopped to try and remember what he had said. "Chouji gets that bed, we already decided that."

"Yes…" said Chouji.

"And I get this bed." Said Sasuke.

"That leaves me and Inoshi to share the cot?" asked Naruto.

"I don't mind." Said Inoshi quietly. "I'll take the floor if you don't want to share it."

"I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor." Said Naruto to Inoshi. "I still don't see what's wrong with me and Inoshi taking the bed for tonight and you taking the cot."

"Because I'm better than you." Said Sasuke.

Naruto raised his hand to make a point, but once Sasuke got in this mode, there was literally absolutely no way to reason with him otherwise.

"FINE!" Naruto said finally. "I'll sleep on the cot. Inoshi, you take the bed with your psychopathic mother. I don't care."

Sasuke glared at Naruto. "Did you just call me a 'mother'?" he said sternly.

"No." lied Naruto.

"You DID." Said Sasuke, slamming his hand on a table that just so happened to be right there for the slamming.

"So what if I did?" said Naruto. "Haven't you trained yourself by now to ignore the things I say?"

"That's it, Naruto." Said Sasuke. "You have to fight me. Right now."

"Let's not fight!" said Chouji.

Inoshi gave a sigh of relief because he had WANTED to say that, but he was afraid that his father might do something to harm him if he did. Sure, there's not really any proof that Sasuke has ever HIT any of his children, but Inoshi can still fear his father.

MEANWHILE!!

"What if he doesn't wake up in time?" asked Senjou nervously looking over in Pansuke's direction.

"Even if he doesn't, who cares?" Said Sasuke Jr.

"I think his parents will." Said Senjou. "Kiba might get angry if his pictures aren't perfect."

"You know, he might be happy." Said Lil Lee. "Because if Pansuke's not in them, then Kobiru can't be in them and that would just make Kiba's day."

"Do you think Kobiru has some make-up to cover-up Pansuke's eye?" asked Senjou, entirely to himself. "It's getting awfully dark and visible."

"Senjou, shut up." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Now about the bed arrangement for tonight." Said Lil Lee. "I assume they're not staying the same."

"They are." Said Sasuke Jr. "And unless you want to go to bed right now, then I suggest we don't bring them up again."

Lil Lee pouted and crossed his arms.

It was then that the little babies woke up and they needed to be tended to. So that was done. Woooo.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Well, I think it's bedtime!" said Tenten to the youngest girls even though she really didn't have any authority whatsoever since no one there was related to her. But since she WAS the oldest, I guess that made her the most important.

"Not YET!" complained Hana, Kajitsu and Moujo. And Hiyoko.

"Off to bed!" said Tenten. They all paused and then got in their sleeping bags.

"I'm going to sleep out here tonight!" said Moujo. "I hope my family isn't offended."

"I guess we have to go to bed too." Said Kobiru.

"The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you'll wake up!" said Tashoku excitedly to her mother.

"I'm so excited!" said Hinata who just looked so giddy. How would she be getting to sleep? No one really knows.

Though I don't think the biggest problem is HINATA getting to sleep.

"Kiba, let's go to bed." Said Hinata.

"Hinata, there's no way I'm going to be able to go to sleep so I'm just not going to even bother and I'm going to stay up all night." Admitted Kiba sadly.

"Kiba, you don't want to be tired tomorrow." Said Hinata.

"Hey!" yelled Kiba at Kobiru as he was distracted. "You better not be using one of OUR sleeping bags! I'll know!"

"I'm going to be sleeping in Tashoku's room!" said Kobiru.

"Not as long as I'M around!" said Kiba angrily.

"Kiba, remember what we talked about?" said Hinata, pulling him aside but everyone could hear them anyway. "Kobiru is seven months pregnant and therefore needs the comfort of a bed."

"But she doesn't DESERVE it." said Kiba with a childishly over-animated frown.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Tonight I'm going to wear the pajamas with…" started Cho as he pulled out a pair of pajamas from his suitcase only to look up to see Shika holding an identical pair.

"OMG CHO!!" yelled Shika. "We are telepathically linked or something."

"It's so weird that we would pick out the SAME pair of pajamas to wear!!" said Cho.

"It's a twin thing!!!" exclaimed Shika.

"All right, time for bed!" said Lee as he ran over to the bed. Lil Gai followed after him wearing the exact same pair of pajamas.

"We didn't even PLAN this!" Lil Gai said, referring to the fact that the two of them had the same pajamas.

"Dear lord!" said Cho. "It's like you guys are twins too!"

"You know, people have said that before." Said Lee thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin.

"It's an honor to be your twin, father!" said Lil Gai excitedly.

Shika and Cho exchanged glances. Even though they were a little strange themselves, they still knew when people were normal and when they were not.

MEANWHILE!!

"Dad…" said Hichou as he lied down in his bed. "These pants are uncomfortable."

"Well Hichou, we don't want to have another repeat of last night, now do we?" said Neji.

"No." said Shikamaru bitterly. "No we don't."

Neji ignored Shikamaru.

The four of them lied there in silence for a little while.

"We didn't eat today." Said Shikamaru suddenly. "At all."

No one really said anything in response to that.

"That's true." Neji agreed finally.

Quietness ensued.

"I'm hungry now." Said Shikataro.

There was another void of silence.

"Too bad." Shikamaru said. "Go to sleep."

Everyone simultaneously rolled over in bed and went to sleep.

MEANWHILE!!!

Inoshi was sitting in the bathroom with the door closed. He was typing. As long as his dadoo didn't see the light of his computer, it probably wouldn't bother him.

"Who left the bathroom light on?" came Sasuke's voice suddenly.

"You did." Said Naruto.

"No I didn't." Sasuke retorted. "I turned it off before I got in bed. YOU'RE the one who left it on."

"I did not!" Naruto said defensively.

Inoshi shut the computer, opened the door and leaned out to where the three were all lying.

"Um…I was just using it." he said. "But…uh…I'm done now!"

He turned off the light and gave a heavy sigh. He would be getting no work done tonight either.

"This is going to be a lot of fun guys." Said Chouji randomly. Everyone rolled over and looked at him. He was lying in his bed with his hands folded as they rested on his belly. "My only regret in life is that I don't have my own child to share this moment with."

"You can always adopt, I guess." Said Inoshi as he put his computer away in its case.

"Well, when you were young, all of you children sort of filled that gap of loneliness that I felt." Chouji continued. Sasuke opened one up and kept a watchful eye on Chouji to make sure he didn't eat and/or rape Inoshi.

"People grow up." Said Inoshi as he started pulling his own blankets aside.

"Remember when I used to babysit you, Inoshi." Said Chouji. "And I'd lie on the couch and you'd all lie around me?"

"Yeah…" said Inoshi.

"Well I was just—" started Chouji.

"Get in bed, Inoshi." Said Sasuke firmly. "Now."

MEANWHILE!!!

"He's not waking up." Said Lil Lee, kicking Pansuke slightly. "Can we just leave him there?"

"What, so you can get an entire bed to yourself?" said Sasuke Jr. "No."

"Why does it matter?" said Lil Lee. "I had to sleep in the same bed as Pansuke last night so I think I deserve my own bed tonight."

"I kinda want my own bed." Said Senjou with a sigh.

"Yeah, me too." Said Sasuke Jr. "But we can't ALL have our own beds so there's no sense discussing it anymore."

"Fine, but if you're SO obsessed with moving Pansuke in that bed just so I won't be the only one who gets my own bed, then you can do it." said Lil Lee, getting in his own bed.

"It really doesn't matter." Said Senjou to Sasuke Jr.

"Well, it's an entire night." Said Sasuke Jr. "I say we do SOMETHING to decide who rightfully gets a bed to themselves."

"Well, I should get it because I had to sleep with Pansuke last night." Said Lil Lee. "And this is my bed."

"I really don't care." Said Senjou. "It would be nice to have my own bed but I have slept on the ground many times, slept with ten people in one room and much worse."

"Wow." Said Lil Lee. "Being an ANBU must be tough."

Senjou coughed slightly. "Not THAT tough." He said, not really knowing the kind of comment that could potentially distract the conversation AWAY from that subject.

"Then maybe the best should get the bed." Said Sasuke Jr.

"…That would put you last wouldn't it?" said Lil Lee. "Considering Senjou's an ANBU, I'm a special jounin and you're only a jounin. Not to mention the fact that I beat you in the tournament."

Sasuke Jr. only glared at Lil Lee with this look that certainly implied he was about to pull out some genjutsu and just make it so he got his own bed and Senjou got his own bed.

Then, just when they were about to come to a conclusion, Pansuke rose from the ground.

"Ow…my head…" he whined, rubbing his face.

"Well, THAT problem is solved." Sasuke Jr. said with a shrug.

"God damn." Said Lil Lee.


	22. BE STILL MY FRAIL OLD HEART!

THE NEXT MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Time to get up!" Kiba yelled bright and early in the morning. Everyone sat up. It wasn't even light out yet.

"Kiba, what time is it?" asked Hinata as she walked out.

"Can you believe it?" Kiba said looking at his watch. "It's 6:00! I gave you guys an hour!"

"Gee…thanks…" said Sakura as she sat up in her sleeping bag. She yawned and cricked her tired old back.

Tenten sat up and cricked her back. While it was just as tired as Sakura's, it was definitely older. "Okay Kiba, I appreciate you waking me up and everything, but I think everyone here will agree that we should get a little more sleep."

"Nonsense!" said Kiba with a chuckle. "We have TONS of getting ready to do!"

"It's a good thing Shikamaru didn't sleep over here." Said Ino. "He's so lazy, there's no way he'd be awake now."

"AND I already got dressed too!" said Kiba.

Everyone looked up to see that he was wearing just his regular clothes.

"Kiba, what about the clothes we picked out the other day when we went shopping?" Hinata asked.

Kiba slapped his forehead. "Oh right!" he laughed. "I forgot about those!"

"And did you take a shower?" said Hinata.

"Do I need to?" Kiba said in a confused tone.

"YES!!" yelled all the females.

"Hinata?" said Kiba, ignoring the women and turning to the only person that MATTERED!

"Yes, Kiba." Said Hinata. "You have to shower today."

"Oh FINE!" said Kiba. "I will do it for you only because it's our anniversary today, Hinata!"

"Thank you." Said Hinata with a sigh as Kiba ran off.

"How often does he shower?" Sakura questioned after he had left.

"When I tell him to." Hinata replied.

"How often do you tell him to?" asked Tenten.

"Whenever I remember." Said Hinata. Then she paused. "Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like he NEVER showers. He just doesn't usually on his own. I usually remember every day."

"Are you sure you have a husband and not another child?" asked Ino.

"Yes." Said Hinata obliviously.

"It doesn't matter, Ino." Said Sakura. "As long as they're in love, right Hinata?"

"I never said they weren't!" defended Ino.

"You implied it." Said Sakura.

Suddenly Kiba poked his head out the doorway. "Hinata…"

"Yes Kiba?" she said.

"I miss you." He said.

"Kiba, I'm right here. It's not like I went anywhere." Hinata said.

"But it's our anniversary and we should be together all day…" Kiba whined.

"Kiba, get dressed and showered and then we'll be together."

Kiba nodded sadly and left again.

Everyone looked at each other.

"AWWWWWW!" they exclaimed. Hinata blushed with embarrassment.

MEANWHILE!!! AND A FEW HOURS LATER!!!

Lee stretched high to the sky. He also yawned quite loudly and flamboyantly. Then he looked around to see that his son and the twins were missing.

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" he screamed, slapping his cheeks but not leaping up to do anything.

"Dad?" came Lil Gai's voice from the bathroom. "We're in here!"

"Oh good." Said Lee with an animated sigh of relief. He threw off the covers and got out of bed. "What are the three of you doing in the bathroom?"

"We're giving Gai a makeover!" said Shika and Cho at the same time as Lee entered the bathroom to see that the Stylish Duo of Konoha had successfully gelled Lil Gai's hair up in all sorts of crazy directions so he looked like a Backstreet Boy. A really ugly Backstreet Boy.

"How do I look, Dad?" said Lil Gai excitedly.

"BE STILL MY FRAIL OLD HEART!!" Lee gasped, grabbing his heart and fainting.

"Was that an excited faint or a distraught faint?" wondered Cho out loud.

"DAD!!" Lil Gai cried as he dove to his father's side. "DAD NO!!"

"Maybe he was just so overcome with your stylishness that he fainted!" Shika suggested.

"Well I can't think of any other reason." Said Cho.

"The family hairdo is sacred." Said Lil Gai as he began to cry. "I have broken my father's heart!"

MEANWHILE!!

"We were specifically told to be there on time." Said Neji as he observed Shikamaru and Shikataro sleep right through their alarms that were each bellowing loudly. "Now, to wake them up or let them lay."

"Dad!" Hichou said as he ran out of the bathroom. "I'm all dressed! How do I look?!"

Neji look Hichou up and down and then he sighed.

"Hichou…" sighed Neji. "Put your pants on."

Hichou looked down as well.

"OH YEAH!" he chuckled as he went off to find his pants.

Neji sighed and muttered something that sounded vaguely similar to, "Why me?" but we'll never know for sure.

So Neji took a shower, tended to his hair, got dressed and got completely set and ready to go. Then he took a look at the fact that Shikamaru and Shikataro were still sleeping soundly through their loud alarm clocks. So he figured he'd have to do something to wake them up. I mean…he was the only other Hyuuga going to this anniversary which was kind of sad considering Hinata was a Hyuuga so he had to be on time and he wouldn't have Shikamaru and Shikataro messing everything up.

He went over to the two of them, pondered for a moment and then tried removing their cozy blankets. When there was no effect, he moved the alarms right up next to their heads.

Shikataro's eyes flickered and his fidgeted slightly but other than that, there was no reaction. This made Neji angry so he pulled the top cover sheet up and pulled it off the bed so that Shikamaru and Shikataro went along for the ride, landing as a big heap on the ground.

"A-wah…?" they both stammered as they looked around groggily.

"We're going to be late." Neji said simply.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So I hung your dress up in Hinata's closet." Sasuke explained on the phone to Ino. "You'll know which one it is."

"Where'd you hang YOUR dress, Sasuke?" Naruto asked as he attempted futilely to tie his tie.

Sasuke turned angrily to Naruto but the whole room could hear a feminine voice over the phone yell at him as Sasuke slowly turned his back to Naruto and continued talking to Ino on the phone.

"No he couldn't, Ino." Said Sasuke. "I would definitely be able to beat him."

"How did you put up with him for your whole life?" Naruto asked Inoshi who was ALSO trying to futilely tie his tie.

Inoshi chose to not answer Naruto in the off chance that his father would hear him and kill him.

"Dad, can you help me with my tie...?" he asked Sasuke nervously.

"I'LL help you tie your tie!!" declared Chouji.

"Um…okay…" Inoshi said nervously. Chouji started to reach out his hands but Sasuke suddenly darted in front of him and grabbed the lose ends of the tie before Chouji could do any damage.

"He asked ME to help him." Sasuke said with a squinty eye in the direction of Chouji.

"It's okay." Said Inoshi. "I know you're busy…"

"I'LL take care of it." Sasuke said.

"…Okay…" Inoshi said nervously. Chouji shrugged and went about his business.

MEANWHILE!!!

"ARGH!!" Pansuke yelled from the bathroom. "MY EYE IS BLACK!!"

Senjou winced as Pansuke stomped out of the bathroom while pointing dramatically at the black ring.

"LOOK AT THIS!!" he screamed.

"It's not…THAT bad…" said Senjou timidly.

"Not that bad?!" Pansuke HOLL-ered. "I have NEVER had a darker bruise!"

"Come on, Pansuke, he barely touched you." Said Sasuke Jr. as he tied HIS tie. The Uchihas all synchronize their tie tying subconsciously.

"Yeah." Said Lil Lee, secretly enjoying this. "I think it makes you look better."

"You only did this because you KNEW I was sexier than you!" Pansuke declared.

"It had nothing to do with that!" defended Senjou.

"Actually, technically, it did." Said Sasuke Jr. "But not in the way Pansuke is putting it."

"My eye is all swollen!" Pansuke yelled. "I can barely see out of it!"

"Stop whining." Lil Lee whined.

"What am I going to tell everyone?!" wailed Pansuke.

"The truth?" said Sasuke Jr. as he pulled his small child out of the crib and stood him up on the table. "Senjou beat you up."

"HE DID NOT!!" yelled Pansuke.

"Then how'd you get that black eye?" questioned Sasuke Jr.

"Your mom." Said Pansuke.

"Guys, I really don't want to talk about it anymore." Said Senjou.

"You have YET to apologize!" said Pansuke.

"Likewise." Senjou pointed out.

They were going to argue some more, but apparently Lil Lee's child just hated the thought of being dressed and changed so he was now screaming at the top of his lungs and therefore there was no chance for any argumentation over the baby's bawling.

Sasuke Jr. was clipping a little pretend bowtie on Little Sasuke who was all wide-eyed and looked like he was going to start crying ONLY because Kikei was crying.

"Look at what your son is doing to mine." Sighed Sasuke Jr. under his breath as Little Sasuke joined in. But he went unheard.

"Do you at LEAST have any cream to make it not so apparent or know a jutsu that'll make it invisible?" asked Pansuke as he rubbed his eye.

"No, Pansuke. I don't." said Senjou, beginning to get frustrated for many reasons. He had Pansuke bothering him, there was a baby crying and he couldn't get his darned bowtie tied!! ARGH!!


	23. This dress is so hideous!

MEANWHILE!!

"I slept on my hair funny!" whined Kajitsu as she looked in the mirror. "Why did we get our hair done the day before?"

"I guess you don't know how to sleep on your hair when it's in a hairdo." Said Hana as she looked in the mirror. Not a strand was out of place. But that's natural considering she's the child of the two most attractive people in ALL OF KONOHA!!!

Well…they might not be the two most attractive anymore considering they are now old. Not only that but they had their hybrid children who were just so ungodly beautiful to the rest of the world.

"Are we picking everyone else up or are we just going to meet them all at the party area?" Moujo asked the two other girls. Hiyoko had gone off to do something random.

"I don't know." Hana replied.

It was then that all the mothers (including Tashoku and Kobiru) came hurrying in wearing their dresses and needing to see the mirror.

"I'm so excited for you, Mom!" said Tashoku for the umpteenth time.

"Yeah…" Hinata sighed dreamily.

In the other room, Shino and Kiba were chilling. Shino's two younger daughters were there too, but it's not like their presence mattered.

"Are you going to wear that for the photos?" Kiba asked Shino since he was just wearing his regular jacket.

"Are YOU going to wear that for the photos?" Shino replied since Kiba was wearing a pink shirt.

"What's wrong with it?" Kiba questioned.

"I'm sure it'll be pointed out to you numerous times but it's pink." Said Shino.

"Hinata likes it!" said Kiba. "And it's our anniversary so the LEAST I can do is wear what she wants me too."

"No." said Shino. "The least you can do is remember your anniversary."

"I did remember it, Shino." Said Kiba with a raised eyebrow.

"I know." Said Shino. "I was just pointing out the least you could have done."

"But…why would I want to do the LEAST I can possibly do?!" asked Kiba as if nothing could confuse him more.

"This dress is so hideous!" Kobiru whined as she walked into a random room which just so happened to be the worst room that she could possibly walk into randomly while saying something foolish.

Kiba stood there, unable to say anything for he was just FAR too angry to even muster up any words.

Kobiru took a hint and quickly retreated and reentered the FEMALE room while saying the same foolish thing.

"Don't worry about it, Kobiru!" said Tashoku. "You can look back on this in the future and say, 'Wow! I was pregnant with my child that day! I'm so proud!'"

"Yeah but in the meantime I have to wear this horrible dress!" whined Kobiru. "I wish I was only three months pregnant so I could wear something that fit me like you can!"

"No, I am so fat." Sighed Tashoku.

"You're not fat, Tashoku." Most other women started in almost immediately.

"Oh yes I am." Tashoku continued to sigh.

"No, no, no." the other women assured her.

"I'm only a few months pregnant and I'm already a cow." Tashoku sighed on and on.

"HEY LADIES!!" Kiba said, poking his head in the room where all the women were. He was apparently over his extreme shock that Kobiru attempted to start some sort of conversation with him. "Lookin' good! Except for you, Kobiru. You were right. That dress IS hideous!"

"Kiba…" Hinata said, shaking her head.

"Hey…" said Kiba as if he were the victim. "I held back. I wanted to say that she also looked like a watermelon and that her hair was coming undone in some places."

"Well I'm proud of you for that." Said Hinata because she couldn't help loving her husband.

Suddenly, the door opened and all the males came in at the exact same time. They all looked snazzy and all the wives couldn't help but be overcome by their husbands. Hana and Kajitsu were overcome by Lil Lee and Moujo almost died because she was overcome by Senjou AND Inoshi and two at once is just overwhelming.

Both babies were crying so all of the appointed grandparents ran over to save the day from their children who were more than happy to hand them over.

"Come on, little fella!" Lee said while rocking Kikei who only screamed at the top of his lungs. "You're a Rock! The Rocks are a happy bunch!"

"Takes after his father…" whispered Tenten to Lee.

"What?" asked Lee. "Kikei looks NOTHING like Lil Lee!"

"Never mind." Said Tenten as she attempted to hush Lee.

"Naruto…WHAT IS THAT?!" demanded Sakura when she saw Naruto clad in purple.

"Why are you wearing yellow?!" said Naruto. "Why aren't you wearing pink?!"

"Why aren't you wearing orange?!" Sakura retorted.

"I'M wearing pink!" said Kajitsu, modeling her dress.

"And I'm wearing green." Pansuke said.

"And I'm in red!" Kobiru finished.

"You Uzumakis are going to have the ugliest picture ever." Said Hana to Kajitsu. "None of you match at all."

"Shut up!" said Kajitsu. "Me and Kobiru match!"

"All we Uchihas are color coded." Said Hana, gesturing to all the Uchihas who were, in fact, all in black. With the exception of Shika and Cho, of course, but if there wasn't any color at all then that would just look so silly. In addition, all the men had matching outfits on, INCLUDING LITTLE SASUKE!! And when we say 'Little Sasuke', we mean the infant, not Sasuke Jr.

"Naturally, while we don't match EXACTLY…" started Shika.

"We still coordinated our clothes so that we match!" said Cho.

"Better than the Uzumakis at least…" they both leaned over and whispered to each other. Then their eyes bulged out and they hugged each other. "TWIN THING!!"

Sasuke leaned over in the midst of their hugging and handed them each an Uchiha fan patch.

"I don't care where you put it, just put it somewhere and make it visible." He instructed them.

Shika and Cho were sad that they had to ruin their stylish outfits but they knew their father well enough so they EXPECTED it. Not only that, but they bought outfits that would potentially MATCH the fans that Sasuke would inevitably hand them. YAY!!

"Come on, Cho." Said Shika. "Let's apply the fans!"

"Apply them we shall!" Cho declared as the two of them marched off into the other room.

After a little more discussion concerning the issues with matching, everyone finally realized that if they didn't hurry along, they were going to be late for the pictures. So they frolicked off to the picture place.


	24. I wore my patch today

When they walked into the building and were faced with four pleasant old folk whom they knew.

"HI!!" said their four Jounin teachers who were closing in on the age of seventy. "WE DID NOT PLAN THIS!!"

"I did." Hinata said quietly.

"YOU guys are in the picture taking business?" gasped no one in particular.

"Well yeah." Said Kakashi. No more explanation was given.

"LEE!!" exclaimed Gai.

"GAI!!" Lee exclaimed right back. They were about to frolic over to each other in slow motion but Gai was far to frail to do so and had to whip out his walker and slowly limp over to where he could meet Lee in the middle. Gai didn't age very well.

"How have you been, Lee?" Gai asked.

"GREAT!" said Lee. "Guess what, Gai?!"

"What?!" said Gai enthusiastically.

"I'M ALMOST FIFTY!!" said Lee. "AND SO IS TENTEN!! AND NEJI!!"

"WOW!!!" yelled Gai.

Tenten and Neji slapped their foreheads.

"I must admit to you though, Lee." Said Gai slowly. "When you're old, there isn't much you can do so you have a lot of spare time."

"Yes…" said Lee, nearly in tears from happiness.

"And though the flame of youth burns more brightly in me than it does in anyone else except maybe you." Began Gai. But then he paused. "Or maybe your younger son of whom I love."

"YAY!!" screamed Lil Gai coming up behind Gai and giving him a big bear hug.

"MY BACK!!" yelled Gai as he frailly sank to the ground in a big pathetic heap.

"Lil Gai!" Tenten yelled. "No!"

"I'm sorry…" pouted Lil Gai.

"So where was I?" asked Gai as he regained his composure.

"You were telling me that you have a lot of free time." Said Lee, unable to wait to hear what wondrous thing Gai had to say.

"Oh." Said Gai. "I have a lot of free time. So I cut you these coupons! You get to save 25% on toothpaste!"

"WOW!!" Lee yelled. "I consider it an honor to get this from you!"

As Lee nearly shed tears over the gift he received, the other teachers decided to get re-reacquainted with their students and their students' children.

"So you married into the Uchiha family?" said Kurenai to Tashoku.

"Yeah." Said Tashoku with a shrug. She didn't really know how else to answer.

Kurenai paused. "Wow, Hinata and Kiba!" she said. "I can't believe you've been together for twenty-five years!!"

"We can." Said Kiba and Hinata.

Kurenai paused again.

"Um…Shino!" she said finally. "I love your daughters!! They look exactly like you!"

"Really?" said Shino, looking at his daughters.

"What are their names?" Kurenai asked.

"Jijo, Sanjo and Moujo." Shino said, pointing to each child individually.

"Wait, that one is yours too?" said Kurenai, pointing at Moujo.

"Yes." Said Shino.

"Is this another one of your hilarious jokes?" Kurenai questioned.

"No." said Shino.

"Wow." Said Kurenai. "What an interesting team I have."

"Kurenai!" Kiba shouted as he grabbed Little Sasuke out of Sasuke's hands.

"Hey!" Sasuke said angrily as he stood there and pouted. He'd SO get Kiba back when it was HIS turn to brag.

"I have a grandson!" Kiba said proudly as he handed Kurenai the wee one.

"Oh isn't he darling?!" Kurenai said as she contently held Little Sasuke in her hands. "Oh and isn't it hilarious that you can tell just who the grandparents are!"

"And I'm going to have another one soon too!" Kiba said happily. Hinata, Ino and Tashoku turned to Kiba with angry glares.

Sasuke looked as though he was trying to piece stuff together with THE most oblivious face ever.

"What?" he said finally.

"I guess now's a good a time as any since we're all together!" said Tashoku, grabbing Sasuke Jr.'s hand. "Dad…everyone… I'm pregnant!"

"CONGRATULATIONS!!!" exclaimed everyone, even the people who already knew.

Sasuke gaped and then looked as though he was going to faint. But his look of joy quickly contorted into rage. "You told Kiba before you told me?"

"He is SO darling." Kurenai sighed.

"I wasn't done saying hi to my team!!" said Gai, pushing past Kurenai and going back over to Lee. "Don't you have a grandson?"

"YEAH!" said Lee, turning to Lil Lee who was only standing idly by and yoinking Kikei out of his hands. "This is Kikei!! But I like to pretend his name is Lee Three even though it isn't!!"

"THAT IS THE MOST YOUTHFUL GLOW EVER!!!" screamed Gai.

"I know." Said Lil Lee with a very discontented sigh. He was SURROUNDED by people who looked like his father. And brother. And son. And the rest of his relatives. I guess that's why they're his relatives.

I guess Gai wasn't really concerned with Neji or Hichou or his other child whose name I've forgotten. He was now way too happy that he had like… three different aged Lee standing in front of him and for him, nothing could possibly be better.

"So…um…I exist." Said Asuma.

"And I'm the most important one of all." Said Kakashi. "So I have priority over you to talk."

"Aw man…" whined Asuma as if Kakashi held all the authority in the world.

"So um…Sasuke." Said Kakashi. "Two grandchildren, huh?"

"You told KIBA before me?" Sasuke demanded from Sasuke Jr.

"I told no one!" Sasuke Jr. said in his defense. "I didn't know Kiba knew!"

"I knew too." Said Ino. She knew that would only get Sasuke madder but sometimes she liked to just push his buttons just to see how he'd react. It's just so hilarious sometimes.

"So EVERYONE knew before me?" Sasuke asked.

"Well…um…Neji didn't know." Said Ino. "And Shikamaru…he didn't know."

"Did Naruto know?"

"No." said Sasuke Jr. "Not that I know of."

"Naruto, did you know that Tashoku was pregnant?" Sasuke asked.

"Who didn't?" replied Naruto even though it was a lie.

Kakashi coughed slightly. "Anyway…" he said, trying to get the attention back to himself. "I see you two STILL argue more than you need to."

"It's ALL Sasuke." Said Naruto.

"You JUST caused controversy." Kakashi pointed out.

"Maybe." Said Naruto. "But I was getting him back for insulting me earlier. I don't remember exactly what it was about, but I know he insulted me."

"Okay…" said Kakashi. "Since you guys are all exactly the same, tell me about your children."

"Kajitsu has Lee's son as a teacher." Said Sakura, pointing at Lil Lee who was STILL standing idly by.

"Wow." Said Kakashi.

"And Pansuke married Kobiru." Sakura continued. "Do you remember Kobiru?"

"Yes." Said Kakashi, looking at Kobiru. No one really knew if he was happy or not, but he probably wasn't. Then he started looking around. "Where's… Senjou?"

"I'm right here!" said Senjou, jumping forward. "Hi!"

"Hi." Said Kakashi. "I wore my patch today."

"Don't you wear your patch every day?" Senjou asked, looking confused.

"Yes." Said Kakashi, cheering on the inside that his misleading pirate stories were STILL going to work even though this kid was like…eighteen. And leader of ANBU. "All pirates do."

"You're still a pirate?" Senjou asked. "You haven't retired yet?"

"The most feared pirate in the sea, retire?" Kakashi said. "Not likely."

"How much longer do you plan on being a pirate?" Senjou asked.

"Forever." Kakashi replied. Senjou raised an eyebrow.

"Forever?" he inquired with a confused tone.

"Kakashi." Said Sasuke in the most finalized tone EVER. "Stop."

"But it's even more enjoyable NOW."

Sasuke Jr. poked into everyone's conversation.

"Senjou, go look up gullible in the dictionary." He said. "It's not there."

"Yes it is." Said Senjou. "I checked."

"Senjou…go get Little Sasuke from Kurenai." Commanded Sasuke with a sigh. Senjou obeyed and walked off.

"I'm going to hang out with him all day today, you know that Sasuke." Said Kakashi. "And I'm going to keep telling stories until he doesn't believe me."

"That won't happen." Said Inoshi who had had been listening the whole time but, as usual, didn't say much.

"And you must be…um…" Kakashi said. "I forget."

"Inoshi." Said Inoshi.

"Oh right." Said Kakashi. "The writer."

"Yeah…" said Inoshi, not sure whether or not Kakashi's response was positive.

"Can I talk to my team yet?" complained Asuma.

"Fine, fine." Kakashi sighed.

"YAY!!" cheered Asuma, turning immediately to Shikamaru. "So, how's it been going, Shikamaru?"

"Um. Good." Shikamaru answered.

"Any exciting news?" Asuma prodded.

"Hey, when you said 'my team', it would imply that you were talking about Ino and Chouji as well." Shikamaru said, grabbing Shikataro by his Vash the Stampede-ish jacket and pulling him out of harm's way.

"I know that, Shikamaru!" laughed Asuma. "I'm just talking to you FIRST!"

"I don't feel much like talking." Shikamaru confessed, getting even further away especially since Asuma was slowly advancing. "Asuma, must I remind YOU of YOUR restraining order as well? Though it isn't as stern as Chouji's you can't forget about its existence."

"You're no fun Shikamaru!" cried Asuma as he turned around only to be faced with Chouji who enveloped him in a big creepy hug as they both wept to each other.

"Shikamaru, do you just decide that you don't like dealing with people anymore so you file a restraining order?" asked Naruto.

"I hope I'm not next…" said Ino.

"As long as you don't try to come at me in any sexual way, then you won't be." Said Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru, I've been happily married for almost twenty-five years and I have six kids." Said Ino. "And no offense, but if I were to cheat on Sasuke, it wouldn't be with you."

"Oh come on, Ino." Said Naruto. "You're the only one on that team who's not in love with Shikamaru. Considering Shikamaru's in love with himself."

"When did I say that?" asked Shikamaru with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry." Said Naruto. "I'm just so used to insulting Sasuke that that insult was sort of Sasuke–oriented."

Before any attempts for murder were committed, Kakashi came between everyone. Yes, he has that special power.

"Let's take these pictures." He said, whipping out a camera. "First just Kiba and Hinata since it's their anniversary. Then we'll throw in Tashoku. Then we'll throw in Sasuke the second and Sasuke the third. Then we'll go from there."

So everyone wiped tears from their eyes at the preciousness of Kiba and Hinata posing for their twenty-fifth anniversary wedding pictures. It was also somewhat silly because Kiba was in pink while Hinata was in blue. Then after Tashoku jumped in, it was even MORE precious because they were just so hybridy.


	25. I want mom in the picture

"Do I really have a right to be in this picture?" Sasuke Jr. said nervously as he was coaxed into the picture as well.

"I want to hold Sasuke!" Kiba exclaimed.

Pause.

"The baby, I mean." He said.

"Oh, okay." Sasuke Jr. said, handing Little Sasuke to Kiba.

"I'm so proud of you all!" said Kurenai randomly with a sigh. "I'm so glad you're happy and you're STILL happy!"

"Whoa Kurenai." Said Kiba. "Don't go all grandmother on us."

"Well, at least WE'RE happy, Pansuke." Said Kobiru as she hugged Pansuke with one arm and fondled her stomach with the other.

"Yeah." Said Pansuke. "Unlike Lee."

"Lee's not happy?" Kobiru questioned.

"Heh." Laughed Pansuke. "The poor fool's wife left him."

"Aikan left him?" Kobiru said in a surprised voice. "So now he's single?"

"I guess so." Said Pansuke with a satisfied smirk. "Now he's got a hideous baby with no mom."

"The poor baby." Said Kobiru. "Poor Lee."

"Well, in the end, I win." Said Pansuke. "Like always."

"I have to go cheer him up." Said Kobiru as she walked off in search of Lil Lee.

"So who's next?" Kiba butted in to everyone in general.

"What?" said everyone, looking confused.

"Come on, guys." Said Kiba. "You didn't think we'd make you all come to take pictures if YOU guys weren't getting family pictures too!!"

"OH KIBA!!" chuckled everyone.

But no one really did anything.

"Fine, Shino, YOU'RE first!" said Kiba.

"Why me?" said Shino.

"Because I like to pick on you." Said Kiba.

Shino's eyes narrowed.

"I was just kidding Shino." Said Kiba. "You KNOW that."

"Right." Said Shino, feeling dumb that he had gotten all cross over something Kiba was joking about. But really, he shouldn't joke about something like that.

"Neat!" said Moujo. "A family picture! I don't think we've EVER gotten one of those before!"

"Okay, how about we just put Shino in the back?" said Kakashi. And then the three daughters in front in height order."

"There's a certain unbalance of color." Asuma observed since Moujo was wearing a pretty yellow dress and the others…well, they just WEREN'T.

"Um…put her in the middle then." Kurenai suggested.

"But then it's like we're singling her out." Said Gai.

"She singled herself out." Said Kakashi as he held up the little tray with the powder on it and got underneath the curtain of the camera. "Say cheese."

"Cheese!" said Moujo. Shino, Jijo and Sanjo couldn't even PRETEND to even think about saying cheese. Or smile for that matter.

"That was exciting." Said Kurenai as soon as the picture was taken.

"This family picture is sort of pointless considering my wife isn't in it." Said Shino while he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"We could superimpose her in it." Said Asuma.

"You don't have to." Said Shino.

"Good because Asuma was lying and we really can't do that." Said Kakashi.

"In that case I do want her in the picture." Said Shino.

"Yeah." Said Jijo. "I want mom in the picture."

"Whoa…" said Kurenai. "Please tell me you guys are kidding."

"We are." Said Sanjo.

"Before we do anymore families, my whole team SO has to take a picture together!" said Kiba, grabbing Hinata and Shino before they could escape and dragging them over to the picture taking spot.

"Fine." Said Shino. ONLY because it was his anniversary.

"That was a good idea, Kiba." Said Hinata.

"And then we could do one with our children in it!" Kiba announced. "Tashoku and the three girls!"

"Fine." Shino said.

"…I guess." Said Hinata.

"And then one of JUST the four girls together WITHOUT us!" Kiba continued.

"…Fine…" Shino said.

"Um…that may be a little excessive…" Hinata started.

"And then one with Little Sasuke!!" Kiba said.

"How about just this one and the one with your kids?" suggested Gai since he wanted to get on to more awesome families. Like Lee's family. He couldn't wait for Lee's family.

"Kurenai!" said Kiba. "YOU should get in the picture too!"

"Only if you insist!!" said Kurenai as she ran over. It was pretty obvious she was just WAITING for someone to say that. As she got all positioned into the picture, she paused for a second. "How come we weren't invited to this little shindig you guys were having?"

"Um…" started Hinata. "We forgot?"

"Forgot?" Kurenai said, a little hurt. "That's even worse than just not wanting us to be there and not inviting us."

"Well, I didn't forget." Said Kiba, sticking up for Hinata. "I was just lazy when it came to mailing your invitations."

"That's even WORSE." Said Kurenai. "Because that's like we WERE invited but then we were UNINVITED."

"SAY CHEESE!" Gai yelled as he pushed Kakashi out of the way to take the picture. Then the picture was taken.

Meanwhile…

"Lee, I heard." Said Kobiru as she walked up to Lil Lee and go EXTRA close.

"Heard about what?" asked Lil Lee, completely unsuspecting.

"The divorce." Said Kobiru.

"What?" Lil Lee said at an absolute loss for words. He was completely baffled as to how she would know.

"Don't worry about it!" said Kobiru. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk about it with, I'm here."

"It's not a divorce." Lil Lee said since he was in denial city. "Just a temporary sabbatical." He probably still thought she was coming back. The poor dear.

"Yes it is." Kobiru said rather forcefully as if she knew.

"UZUMAKIS!!" shouted Asuma from the camera. "TIME FOR A FAMILY PICTURE!!"

"Aw man!" said Kobiru. "I wish I wasn't an Uzumaki."

"What?" said Lil Lee, raising an eyebrow.

"You probably didn't even notice." Sighed Kobiru. "But I had the biggest crush on you ever when we were teenagers."

"I think you have to go and get your picture taken." Said Lil Lee, stepping quickly away from her. Kobiru frolicked off to where the pictures were being done. Naruto and Sakura had just gotten finished with their picture, and now Kajitsu and Pansuke were joining the mix. The whole family looked really silly because of their unmatched colors AND Pansuke's hideous black eye.

"Okay, now Kobiru has to get in there too." Said Kakashi.

Kobiru went over and stood next to Pansuke. Now the picture looked even worse because not only was Kobiru was there, but she was wearing the ugliest dress ever.

"Pansuke!" Kobiru yelled. "I didn't even notice your eye! What happened?!"

"How did you not notice that?" Naruto said bitterly. The truth is, he hadn't noticed it either until a few moments ago and he was even LESS happy to hear how Pansuke got it.

"I fell." Said Pansuke.

"What did you fall on?!" Kobiru yelled loudly as she pulled out her make-up bag and started applying it to Pansuke's eye.

"Um…a table." Said Pansuke thinking that saying 'Senjou's fist' might not be the coolest thing to say.

Asuma shuddered as he took that family picture.

"I hope Hana's picture doesn't look better than ours." Said Kajitsu bitterly.

"It won't." said Naruto.

"Even though their family is completely color-coded." Said Sakura. "Even though their family is frequently featured in Sexy Ninjas Unlimited. Even though they've got a beautiful baby to decorate their picture! EVEN THOUGH all their children are well behaved and none of them have pink hair! Even though Ino got Sasuke…"

"Whoa Sakura…" said Naruto. "Calm down."

"Sorry." Said Sakura. "It's just that looking at our family picture is sort of depressing me." She secretly hoped that either something would sabotage the Uchiha picture or that somehow, it would look bad.


	26. FINE But Kobiru can't be in it

"Then how about we do those Uchihas now?" suggested Kurenai.

"JUST Sasuke and Ino first!" said Gai.

Sasuke and Ino went to the appointed place and posed. After that, their abundance of children were brought in. Shika and Cho were placed on the borders of the pictures since they were so colorful and different while all the sons were placed just according to height… even though they were all within two inches of each other. As for Hana, she was just randomly splurged in the middle.

The family had some experience with pictures so they were all ready for it to be taken. And, unfortunately for Sakura and the rest of the Uzumakis, their picture came out splendidly.

"And now let's put Tashoku and the baby in there too." Said Kakashi, gesturing for Tashoku to come in.

Tashoku was a little worried that she was going to ruin the Uchiha aura. I mean, she's only been an Uchiha for not even two years!! WHAT IF SHE MESSED IT UP?!

But she didn't. The picture was fine.

"Okay, the Uchihas can go away." Kakashi said. "Except for you two and your kid." He pointed at Sasuke Jr. and Tashoku.

"Is that necessary?" asked Sasuke Jr. asked Kiba. "I mean…is it okay?"

"You're married to my daughter!!" yelled Kiba. "I need a family picture of you and your family!!"

"Just go along with it." Tashoku said to Sasuke Jr. "He's probably going to frame it and keep it at his bedside."

"So you really want your daughter and grandson and I'm just along for the ride?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"I would have said yes to that…" said Kiba. "But because you married my daughter and she loves you so much, I love you vicariously through her!" Then he topped off saying that with horseshoe eyes.

So Kurenai posed their adorable little family and Kakashi took the picture.

"That's one for the photo album!" said Kiba loudly.

"Dad, you don't need to make your presence so known." Said Tashoku in a hushed voice.

"Of course I do!" said Kiba. "This day is all about me!" Then he paused. "And Hinata."

"Thank you Kiba." Said Hinata with a smile.

They looked back at the picture area to see that Kakashi had already forced Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura to pose in a picture with him and Gai was now taking the picture.

"Okay…even though I wasn't planning on letting each team do that…" Kiba said but he probably was anyway.

"How about one of Pansuke and Kobiru?" said Sakura.

"Why would I want a picture of Pansuke and Kobiru?" said Kiba, looking morally offended.

"WE want a picture of Pansuke and Kobiru." Said Sakura, sounding annoyed.

"FINE." Said Kiba. "But Kobiru can't be in it."

"PANSUKE AND KOBIRU." Naruto repeated loudly. "Meaning Kobiru HAS to be in it!"

"But she's already been in more pictures than I want her to be in!" Kiba whined.

"It's only been one picture!" said Kobiru.

"I KNOW!!" said Kiba. "That's more than I wanted!!"

But Pansuke and Kobiru ended up getting their picture taken anyway, even though it offended Kiba so much.

"Let's do Lee and his wonderfully youthful family next!!" said Gai excitedly.

"ALL RIGHT!!" said Lee. "Let's go, Tenten! Let's follow the trend of the rest of the families and first take a picture of just you and me!!"

"…Okay…" said Tenten, wondering why she wasn't quite as enthusiastic about these pictures as her husband.

"Mom, you don't have to be so sad when we take pictures all the time!" said Lil Gai as he adjusted his bow. That only made Tenten sigh louder.

"Just think mom." Said Lil Lee. "In comparison, we must look REALLY good."

"…what?" Tenten asked, fully not expecting that.

"Sorry." Said Lil Lee. "I know we've both been THINKING it for years."

"Yeah but we've never said it!" said Tenten as if she were offended FOR Lee and Lil Gai. Then she sighed again because she knew it was true no matter how much she tried to deny it.

"Lil Lee, are you going to take a picture with just Kikei?" asked Lee.

"No." said Lil Lee. "Why would I do that?"

"Yeah, true." Said Lee. "It is kind of silly to take one without your wife."

Lil Lee winced at the mention of the word 'wife'. Usually he'd be able to shrug it off with little or no damage but with Kobiru's recent subject of conversation, it was an open wound.

"Besides." Said Lee. "We're probably the least connected to Kiba and Hinata out of everyone here so we really have to take what we can get."

So, after Tenten and Lee took their picture, Lil Lee and Lil Gai joined them. After THAT picture, Kikei joined them too. It was so lovely. Except the picture had a bit of a sad aura even though Lee and Lil Gai's smiles were so bright.

ANYWAY!!

"Neji and his family can go now." Said Kiba, caring less and less as they went to the more random people.

Neji went up with Hichou and his pointless daughter. They got their picture taken with hardly any words. And since Neji's wife/significant other was not present/alive/in existence, it would be awfully strange to take a picture of him standing there by himself.

"And now for our team!!" said Gai as he grabbed his walker and slowly walked over to the appointed place.

"ALL RIGHT!!" cheered Lee, giving a thumbs up. Tenten gave her same tired smile and Neji just stood there looking as though he was trying to stare the camera down.

"Now who's left…?" Kiba said, looking around. "Shikamaru! You have to go and then all the families will be done!"

"Aw…" said Chouji. "I don't have children to take a picture with. Is it all right if I join you two, Shikamaru?"

"No." said Shikamaru. "It's not all right."

Chouji sniffled a little bit. Everyone pitied him, but the only one who offered him a hanky was Inoshi because Inoshi knew what it was like to be hated.

"Thank you so much Inoshi!" said Chouji as he blew his nose loudly and unrealistically. "You're like my ONLY FRIEND!"

"Um…" Inoshi said slowly.

"Will you be in my picture?" asked Chouji. "Considering I get one?"

"Um…" Inoshi started. "It…won't…make any sense…"

"But I don't want to be alone!" Chouji cried.

Sasuke's dadoo senses began tingling. He was a bit frustrated that he had to once again save Inoshi from being raped by Chouji but it was his fatherly duty.

So he came and he wedged himself in between Chouji and Inoshi. Yes. He had to wedge himself because Chouji was SO close to Inoshi, they were touching.

"Inoshi." Said Sasuke. "Go get the baby."

"Why?" Inoshi asked.

"Because I want to hold him." Sasuke said.

"But you were JUST talking to Sasuke." Said Inoshi. "And he's holding him."

"I want YOU to get him." Said Sasuke.

"All right…" said Inoshi as he walked off to get Little Sasuke.

"Now for a team picture!" said Asuma after Shikamaru and Shikataro had finished their picture. "I get to stand next to Shikamaru!"

"Me too!!" said Chouji, getting over his sadness.

"I feel so left out of this group." Said Ino.

"Don't feel left out." Said Shikamaru. "Feel lucky."

Ino could see the look in Shikamaru's eyes that he was truly AFRAID of what Asuma and Chouji might do if he got too close.

"Um…I'M standing next to Shikamaru." Said Ino. "And…er…Inoshi is standing on the other side of him."

"What?" said Inoshi, turning around as Ino grabbed him and pulled him over.

"Inoshi isn't on our team." Said Asuma.

"He is now." Said Shikamaru.

"Oh Shikamaru, if you say so!" said Chouji.

"You owe me one, Shikamaru." Said Ino as their team…and Inoshi… all lined up for the picture.

"Um…why was I in that picture?" Inoshi said after the picture was over and done with.

"Sorry about that." Said Ino.

"See Inoshi!" said Chouji. "It wasn't weird! Now you can be in my picture!"

"Inoshi's already been out of place enough today." Said Ino. "Why don't you pick someone else?"

"Aww…" said Chouji as he put his arm around Inoshi. "But me and Inoshi have gotten to be pretty good friends, haven't we Inoshi?"

"What?" asked Inoshi curiously. Suddenly, Sasuke and Sasuke Jr. appeared out of nowhere.

"Where are we going, dad?" asked Sasuke Jr.

"Inoshi." Said Sasuke as he handed Little Sasuke to Inoshi. "Bring Little Sasuke to Senjou."

Inoshi was beginning to get flustered and confused.

Suddenly, Senjou walked over. "Dad, why'd you just leave out of nowhere?"

"Senjou, go over there and stand there." Said Sasuke as he shoved Little Sasuke into Inoshi's hands. "Inoshi, I want you and Senjou to change Little Sasuke's diaper."

Now EVERYONE was confused.

"HAW HAW HAW!!" laughed Chouji as if this whole thing wasn't designed to get certain people away from him.

"Chouji, I've decided you don't get a picture because you're just being downright creepy." Said Kiba as if that wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.

"HAW HAW HAW!!" Chouji bellowed even louder.

"OKAY ANYWAY!!" said Kurenai. "Now we're going to do a big group picture!! OF EVERYONE!!"

"WOW!!" exclaimed everyone as they dove to the picture-taking place in a mad rush.

"I'll stand in the way back!" said Chouji. "Because I'm the biggest!"

Everyone sort of backed away from Chouji.

All of the families congregated in certain places and tried to stay near their teammates and spouses and extended family members. Meaning the Inuzukas and the Uchihas had to be near each other so Sasuke Jr. and Tashoku could look like they were apart of both families.

"Wow, this is so precious!" said Gai.

"Now let's get in too." Said Kakashi as he set the camera on a timer and the four of them hurried over to get in the picture. Everyone smiled happily except for the people who didn't. You know, people like Shino… and Jijo and Sanjo… and Neji… and… Lil Lee.

"WONDERFUL!" said Asuma after the picture had been taken. "Let's do all the GIRLS now! Then we'll do the GUYS!"

"I'm all pictured out." Said Shikamaru.

"Yeah." Said Chouji. "Me too, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru secretly wished that Sasuke would run over and rescue him with some sort of ridiculously obvious task but he didn't. So Shikamaru just turned away from Chouji and pretended to be interested in the trees. But knowing Shikamaru, he was actually genuinely interested in the trees.

"I'm so hungry." Said Chouji. Then he realized that Shikamaru wasn't paying attention so he decided to look around for someone he could potentially talk to. Like Shikataro. Or Inoshi. Yes. Inoshi. Something about Inoshi…


	27. My patch itches

"I don't know why dad wanted us to change him." Said Senjou as he and Inoshi sat down with Little Sasuke lying on the ground. "I seriously JUST changed him!"

"I don't know." Said Inoshi. "Dad's been acting kind of funny."

"Oh well." Said Senjou as he stripped Little Sasuke to nothingness.

"You don't need to take all of his clothes off to change him." Said Inoshi. "There are snaps between the legs."

"Oops." Said Senjou. "And it was really a pain in the butt to get his clothes on last time."

"We should just let him run around in just his diaper." Said Inoshi.

"I don't think Sasuke would be happy with that." Said Senjou.

Suddenly, Kakashi appeared out of nowhere.

"Yo." He said.

"Oh, hi!" said Senjou. He didn't know whether to like this strange pirate or not, but what was the harm in being nice to him?

Inoshi knew that Kakashi wasn't a pirate but he wasn't going to say it right out like he would have if he were an annoying teenager. After all, he knew now that it didn't matter that Senjou thought someone was a pirate even though he wasn't.

Kakashi's only intention was to barge in on these two and hopefully separate Senjou from Inoshi so he could fill his head with all sorts of crazy ideas.

"So…" Kakashi said. "Inoshi…um…"

He paused.

"You should take the baby over there." Said Kakashi finally. "And give him to…your brother."

"Why?" Inoshi questioned.

"We're in the middle of changing him." Senjou said.

Then Sasuke Jr. walked over. "Why are you changing him?" he asked. "We just changed him. Now we have to dress him up again."

"Dad TOLD us to change him." Senjou said.

"Why?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"I don't know!" Senjou said. "He just felt as though it was imperative that the two of us go and change him!"

"Since you're changing kids and all, do you want to change MY son too?" Lil Lee said, coming over as well with his screaming child that obviously had a dirty diaper.

"Aw man…" said Senjou as he took Kikei. "And he's leaking out the side too…"

"That is a strong smell." Said Kakashi. "Kind of like dead fish."

"I'm sure you had endure that a lot." Said Senjou.

"All the time." Said Kakashi. "Sometimes, that was all we could eat."

"I know that feeling!" said Senjou. "When you're away and there's nothing to eat except for things you don't like."

"But it's not like you'd eat them anyway, I bet." Said Sasuke Jr. "I can see you choosing to starve for the day over eating a piece of meat with a bite already taken out of it."

"My patch itches." Said Kakashi trying to get the attention back to him and his self-proclaimed pirateness.

"Does Kikei have a change of clothes?" asked Senjou as he finished strapping the clean diaper on him.

"Only his pajamas." Said Lil Lee as he dropped the diaper bag in front of Senjou.

"Does he have a pacifier or something?" Inoshi asked as he blocked his ears. "Or something that'll get him to stop crying."

"Nothing gets him to stop crying." Said Lil Lee morbidly.

"He's more unhappy than YOU are!" said Pansuke.

"Shut up Pansuke." Said Lil Lee in that tone that suggested that it was just an immediate reaction to anything stupid Pansuke says.

"Don't say that, Pansuke!" said Kobiru. "I'm sure Lee would be PLENTY happy if you weren't pestering him all the time!"

"Hey, you're supposed to take my side!" said Pansuke. "I'm your husband!"

"I know." Said Kobiru. "But still…you might not have known this… but I had a crush on Lee many years ago."

"WHY do you constantly bring that up?" said Pansuke, sounding annoyed. "I KNOW you had a crush on him when we were teenagers! And I don't need to be constantly reminded that my wife used to have a crush on my most hated rival!! Even though he's not really my rival since I beat him every time."

"There you go again!" said Kobiru. "You can't give him a break!"

"Um…Senjou, do you want to see my evil eye?" Kakashi said.

"I thought you said only pirates were allowed to see your evil eye." Senjou reminded him.

"Yes…" said Kakashi. "I suppose…"

"Hey, WE were in the middle of having a conversation here!" said Pansuke, pointing to himself and Kobiru.

"And?" Kakashi said. "It's not like I asked Kobiru if she wanted to see my evil eye."

"Can I anyway?" asked Kobiru, now genuinely curious. Not because she thought the eye was evil, but at this point, she just wanted to see what was under the patch.

"No." said Kakashi. "Only Senjou."

"Why only me?" asked Senjou, not knowing whether to feel flattered or awkward.

"Because I feel as though we have bonded enough." Said Kakashi.

"We were still talking!" said Pansuke to Kobiru.

"Pansuke, I need some time alone!" Kobiru said as she grabbed Lil Lee's hand and stormed off. Lil Lee walked a few steps, realized what was going on and then dropped Kobiru's hand.

"Why do I have to go?" asked Lil Lee.

"Because I need to tell you something." Said Kobiru.

"This better not be about you having a huge crush on me when we were younger." Said Lil Lee, skeptically.

"Can't I just talk to you?" asked Kobiru.

"It BETTER just be talking." Said Pansuke threateningly. "She's MY girl."

"Don't forget Kikei." Said Inoshi holding up the baby.

"You're watching him, remember." Said Lil Lee.

"…" Inoshi said. He would have questioned as to why he was suddenly in charge of Lil Lee's loud child, but he was far too insecure to go there.

"Lee, I think it's very important that I discuss something with you." Kobiru said once the two of them got isolated.

"What?" said Lil Lee, sounding kind of annoyed.

"Well, it's just that ever since I found out-" started Kobiru but then she turned around to see Shikataro standing there. Lil Lee and Kobiru both looked at him for a moment. "Um…what do you want?" Kobiru asked finally.

"My dad said he didn't want to see my face anymore so I'm just trying to find somewhere else to stand." Shikataro answered. "And here's a good a place as any."

"No it's not!" said Kobiru. "We're talking about something very private and emotional and we need to be alone!"

"Who?" Shikataro asked.

Kobiru looked forward again to see that Lil Lee had wandered off since he had been beckoned to come over by his own father.

"Lil Lee, have I introduced you to my role model; Gai?!" Lee asked, grabbing Lil Lee and practically throwing him at Gai.

"Yes…on many occasions." Said Lil Lee. He could tell that Gai had absolutely no interest in meeting him and he actually just wanted to hold the baby.

"Hey, where's your youthful son?" Gai asked. See? Lil Lee's pretty sharp.

"Inoshi's holding him." Lil Lee answered pointing over to where Inoshi WAS only to see that he wasn't there anymore.

In fact, he was CLOSER.

Inoshi walked by awkwardly holding a baby in each arm, looking around for his elusive younger brother.

"And just where do you think you're going with that dashingly youthful baby?" Gai asked Inoshi, halting him in place.

"Well, it might just be me but I was under the impression that Senjou was going to watch the babies with me." Said Inoshi. "And he just disappeared with Kakashi."

"Well we'll take Kikei!" said Lee.

"Well, if you're taking him, I'm leaving." Said Lil Lee, noting the fact that Kikei was still crying.

"I think it's best to separate them anyway." Said Inoshi. "When one cries, the other cries."

"Kikei is always crying." Said Lil Lee.

"I know." Said Inoshi. "I was being nice and not saying who was ALWAYS the first to cry."

"Hey, are we leaving to go to this party anytime soon?" Kajitsu said randomly.

"OH RIGHT!!!" chuckled everyone as they piled into random cars and sped off faster than the speed of light to get to the party where everyone would have a great fun time.


	28. Well, at least MY napkin is yellow

"And with 'Develop no Jutsu', we easily got these pictures developed already." Said Kakashi, handing Kiba a large stack of pictures as they walked into the grand hall.

"WOW!" exclaimed Kiba. Everyone crowded around to look at the pictures.

"Dad, I got our picture!" said Moujo, running over to Shino and handing him the picture.

"Splendid." Said Shino, taking it.

"Let's frame it and hang it up on our wall!" said Moujo, sounding excited. She turned to her two sisters. "Did you two see the pictures?"

"Obviously not." Said Jijo, adjusting her sunglasses.

"You didn't show it to us." Sanjo added.

"Well…yeah, I guess…" Moujo frowned.

"I kind of wish Inoshi wasn't in this picture…" Asuma said, picking up the Team 10 and Inoshi picture.

"Me too." Said Ino. Ino couldn't help but agree with Asuma. Even though Inoshi was her son, she sort of regretted the fact that he was now the butt of the picture that everyone would point at and say "wtf?"

"Well I'm personally glad he's in the picture." Said Chouji. "Even though he's not part of our team, it's like he IS!"

"Oh no!" Moujo said. "I never got a picture with Senjou and Inoshi!"

"Oh yeah." Said Hana. "You were going to do that, weren't you?"

"I was SO looking forward to it!" said Moujo.

"I said RED tablecloths!!" said Kiba angrily as he walked into the party area. "And yellow napkins! And blue silverware! Nothing's right!"

"No Kiba…" said Hinata. "We changed our minds about it, remember? We decided that cream colored tablecloths with white napkins and silver silverware was a bit more…appropriate."

"Oh yeah." Said Kiba, remembering no such event. "Well, at least MY napkin is yellow."

"Yes, I asked for that one specially." Said Hinata with horseshoe eyes.

"ARGH!!" exclaimed Lee suddenly. "LIL LEE!! You failed to smile in this picture!!"

"It was an accident." Lil Lee lied.

"Oh." Said Lee, taking a breath. "You must not have been ready for the flash. I understand."

"Oh good." Said Lil Lee in a mocking tone that Lee obviously didn't catch.

"I didn't know the entire family had mutually decided to not smile…" Tashoku said, looking at the Uchiha and Tashoku picture.

"It's all right." Said Sasuke Jr., looking at the picture as well. "Senjou's smiling too."

"I didn't know we weren't supposed to!" said Senjou.

"It's not that we weren't supposed to…" said Sasuke Jr. "It's just we had all come to the conclusion that it wouldn't be appropriate to smile."

"How is it NOT appropriate to smile?!" demanded Tashoku. "It's a picture! That's what you're supposed to do!"

"Okay, okay." Said Sasuke Jr., rolling his eyes. "Look, Shika and Cho are smiling."

"Those aren't smiles!!" said Shika.

"Those are 'sexy half smiles'!" said Cho.

"It takes a long time to perfect that!" Shika added.

"And, as usual, yours looks better, Shika!" wailed Cho.

"That's not true, Cho!" said Shika.

"You're too kind!!" said Cho as the two of them hugged.

"You both look exactly the same." Said Hana.

"I thought you said you could tell us apart!" said Shika.

"I can!" said Hana. "But the smiles are the same."

"All right." Said Cho. "If you can tell us apart then who am I?"

"Um…" started Hana.

"FASTER!!" said Shika.

"You're Cho." Said Hana pointing to Cho. "And you're Shika."

"Wrong!" they both yelled.

"What?" asked Hana with a disappointed look.

"See, you can't tell us apart." Said Cho. "If you could, you would have said, 'No. I was NOT wrong. I was very much right.'"

"But you accepted the fact that you were wrong even though you were right!" said Shika. Then the two of them slapped each other five.

"I can't tell you apart." Said Tashoku.

"That's okay." Said Cho. "You haven't been living with us your whole life."

"Yeah." Said Shika. "We are SO identical that the only people who can tell us apart are mom, dad, Senjou and Inoshi."

"But dad denies it." Said Cho with a giggle.

"Inoshi took forever trying to be able to do it and it paid off." Said Shika.

"And Senjou's just a freak." Said Cho. "He just KNOWS."

"You just successfully insulted every one of us." Said Sasuke Jr. "Because I can definitely tell you two apart."

"Oh?" said Shika, putting his hands on his hips.

"You WISH!" said Cho.

"All right!" said Naruto. "Enough about you Uchihas! Now we're all going to gaze at MY family picture!"

Naruto ripped open the envelope it was being kept safe in and then looked upon it. Pansuke had his ugly black eye, Naruto had blinked, Kajitsu looked like she was about to sneeze, Sakura appeared distracted by something in the upper left direction and Kobiru was just an all around blemish so even though her smile was fine, she was ruining the picture anyway.

Naruto slowly cleared his throat and attempted to salvage as much as he could of the envelope as he stuffed the picture back in.

"Let's see it, Naruto." Said Sasuke even though he had already seen it.

"Like I'm going to show the likes of you my precious family picture!" said Naruto, protecting the envelope with his life.

"Hey, Shikamaru, can I have a copy of your picture?" Chouji asked. "And Sasuke, can I have a copy of your family picture too?"

"No." said Shikamaru plainly.

"Why?" said Sasuke.

"I'm getting a copy of EVERYONE'S since I didn't get one!" Chouji said. "Except I'm not getting anyone else's."

"I don't understand what sort of special bond you have with my family." Said Sasuke. "I mean, I understand why you'd want Shikamaru's but not mine."

"I told you already." Said Chouji.

"How about the real reason." Said Sasuke.

"Well, obviously because your picture came out so well!" said Chouji.

"It's because there are so many young, attractive boys in your family." Whispered Shikamaru to Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes bugged out.

"Um…maybe I'll allow this picture to be exclusive to my family." Said Sasuke.

"I can't be denied BOTH." Said Chouji. "I have no picture to hang on my wall commemorating this event!"

"What about the Team 10 one?" asked Ino, who was standing next to Sasuke. "Doesn't that count?

"Well, I guess." Said Chouji looking at the picture. It had Shikamaru AND Inoshi in it! But he wanted MORE. Because Inoshi didn't look natural in the picture and Shikamaru looked uncomfortable. "Please Sasuke?" begged Chouji tenaciously.

"No." said Sasuke. Then he turned to Naruto. "Not begging for YOUR picture I see."

"I already turned him down." Said Naruto. "And he listens to me because I offer more of a threat."

Sasuke raised a fist to pummel Naruto but he suddenly couldn't remember whether he liked to keep his thumb up or down when he punched so he figured he'd just wave it around threateningly.

"Well, you all know the state of MY picture!" Lee announced. "What about yours, Neji?"

"Fine." Said Neji. He hadn't even opened his.

"Let me see it!" pleaded Lee.

"No." said Neji.

"Aww…" said Lee sadly.

"You know, our family picture and our team picture look eerily similar." Said Tenten, holding the two pictures up next to each other. Sure enough, they did look rather…exactly the same. The interchangeable aspects being Neji and Lil Lee… and Gai and Lil Gai. Even all the poses and order in which they were standing in looked exactly the same.

"What are you talking about?" said Lee. "They're COMPLETELY different! I suppose you might think they're similar because you and I are in both but otherwise, they're FAR from being the same!"

"Whatever you say, Lee." Sighed Tenten. No one else in the Rock family or on that team could see it, but everyone else in the world could. Lil Lee could probably see it, but he was just denying it because he didn't want to be the interchangeable median to NEJI!! After all, Neji was like…fifty.

"PLUS!!" said Lee. "Kikei is in the family picture and not the team picture!"

"Lee, he's only in THIS family picture." Said Tenten.

"We took one without him?" asked Lee. "But he's one of the family!"

"No." said Tenten. "He's part of Lil Lee and Aikan's family."

Lil Lee winced again.

"You poor poor slob." Said Pansuke.

"Shut up Pansuke." Said Lil Lee. "Unless you want another black eye."

"Hey I could beat you!" Said Pansuke. "And I only got this one because I wasn't ready!"

"Yeah you weren't ready." Said Senjou. "You'll never be ready to take on me."

"That's not what I meant." Said Pansuke. "I'll always be one step ahead of you because I'm older."

"By FIVE years!" said Senjou in THE most exasperated voice known to man.

"Five years?" asked Pansuke. "Are you sure? I'm pretty sure it's more like eight. Maybe even nine."

Senjou was just about to give Pansuke another punch in the eye but suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Excuse me…" said the voice. Senjou turned around to see Moujo. "I was wondering…I have my camera…and I was…oh my god…" Then she blushed and turned away quickly.

"What?" said Senjou obliviously.

"Well…it's just that…" Moujo said quietly. "I want to commemorate this meeting…"

"Oh, I know!" said Senjou, taking the camera, whipping out a pen and then signing his name. "There you go!"

Moujo took the camera back and looked at it questioningly.

That kinda made everything a lot easier. "No." she said. "Do you think I could get a picture with you?"

"Sure!" said Senjou. He turned to the closest person to him… who just so happened to be Inoshi. "Could you take a picture?"

"Okay." Said Inoshi with a shrug.

"Um!" Moujo said quickly. "Is it all right if…um…"

She was nervous again.

"What?" asked Inoshi.

"Um…could…uh…you get in the picture…uh…too?" Moujo stuttered.

"…" Inoshi paused. This was out of the ordinary.

Senjou shrugged and handed the camera to Sasuke Jr. who had also just been standing idly by. Then he grabbed Inoshi and pulled him into the picture.

"Everyone smile." Said Sasuke Jr. "Or…don't smile. Or whatever."

"See, now I don't know what to do." Said Senjou just as the flash went off. "Wait! I wasn't ready!"

"No!" said Moujo. "Take another! You of all people have to look good. But this'll make a good blooper picture."

"A blooper picture?" asked Senjou.

"Yes." Said Moujo plainly. "For my site."

"Oh…okay." Said Senjou, uncomfortable with the fact that Moujo was getting more comfortable with him.

"Say cheese." Said Sasuke Jr. holding up the camera. "And get ready for it. I'll wait."

"Can you do that pose that you did in the winter issue of Sexy Ninjas Unlimited?" asked Moujo.

"Which one?" Senjou asked

"Last year's." answered Moujo.

"No, I meant which pose?" Senjou asked.

"The one next to the pine tree."

"You can't expect me to remember them all." Said Senjou.

"Then just act sexy!"

"What about me?" asked Inoshi. "Should I just exist? Are you sure you want me in the picture? Because if you're just doing it so I don't feel bad then I'll tell you right now that I don't really care…"

"No!" said Moujo. "I really do what you in the picture!"

"Can we just take this picture?" Sasuke Jr. asked, sounding a little annoyed.

"Yes!" said Moujo.

Sasuke Jr. raised the camera and took the picture.

"Thanks so much!" said Moujo happily. Now, not only did she have some pictures of her with Senjou and Inoshi… BUT SENJOU ALSO SIGNED HER CAMERA! After the Uchihas had dispersed, Moujo sighed dreamily. "I'm the luckiest girl on the planet…"

Then she looked over at Hana who had begun to talk to Senjou about something as he walked around aimlessly.

"Besides maybe Hana of course…" she corrected herself.


	29. I don’t want to sit next to Pansuke…

"Shino's daughter!!" came a voice above her suddenly. She looked up to see Kurenai standing there.

"Yes?" she said, though people didn't usually call her that. She was usually, 'Girl', or 'You', or, on occasion, 'Moujo'. No one ever really associated her with Shino. Sometimes, she'd go to Aburame things and people would walk up to her after mustering all social aspects of themselves and question as to why she was there.

"I just wanted to say that I think you're simply ADORABLE!" Kurenai said. "And you're just what your family needs!"

"Wow!" said Moujo. "Thanks!"

"How did someone like you ever come to exist in the Aburame family?"

"What?" asked Moujo, genuinely confused.

"You mean, you've never noticed that you're family's a little…different?" asked Kurenai.

"Well, they're pretty quiet." Said Moujo as she scratched her shoulder.

"No I meant…" started Kurenai. "You're such a charming little girl and your family is…well…"

Suddenly Shino came over and put his hand lovingly on Moujo's head. Well, as lovingly as Shino can get.

"It's the bugs." Said Shino. "Or, in her case, the lack of the bugs."

"Oooh…" said Kurenai as if she had come to some huge realization. "Did you forget or something? Or just not do it?"

"I was curious." Said Shino.

"You know, that seems familiar to me." Said Kurenai. "You probably already told me."

Shino shrugged. Moujo shrugged too. She was currently on a high and NOTHING could ruin her day.

"Of course she's the normal one!" said Kiba. "I'M her godfather after all!"

"No, your Sanjo's godfather." Shino said.

Kiba pondered that. "Oh." He said. "I knew that. I'm just keeping you on your toes." He wasn't about to admit that he had thought Moujo was his goddaughter this whole time.

"So when are all the other people getting here?" Asuma asked the general public.

"Yeah, there's no way it's just going to be us." Said Kiba, turning to Hinata.

Hinata cleared her throat, as if trying to remind Kiba of something he should know.

"Oh right!" said Kiba. "Yeah. My family should be here soon."

"What about your family, Hinata?" Kurenai asked.

"My family is dead." Hinata said. "Except for Neji. He's my closest living relative."

"Rapture." Said Neji. But it was sarcastic. Though that should be obvious.

"And that must make you SO happy!!" said Gai.

"It does!" said Hinata since she wasn't about to say anything ill towards Neji while he was standing right there looming over her. Even though he wasn't REALLY looming over, it's just that whenever Neji is around, it feels a lot like he's looming. Just because he's so scary.

Suddenly, Tashoku ran up to Sasuke Jr. who was having a grand ol' time with the guys and practically shoved Little Sasuke in his arms.

"Take him for a moment." She said in a rushed voice.

"Okay." He said. He didn't question her. But you know she wanted him to do so.

"I've been feeling like I'm going to throw up for like…twenty minutes now." Said Tashoku.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sasuke Jr. asked, hoping that she'd say no.

"If you feel like you're going to throw up, then go to the bathroom." Said Lil Lee. He didn't want to be barfed on. But who could blame him?

"Okay." Said Tashoku as she ran off.

"Poor girl." Said Kobiru as she walked over. "Still in the first trimester. That's the morning sickness period."

"We know." Said Sasuke Jr., Lil Lee and Pansuke. They had all experienced it. Not first hand of course, that would be weird. But vicariously through their wives.

"I, however, am in the third." Said Kobiru. "Which is the final one. I've found it to be much more difficult in the third. More weight to carry and it's just all around harder."

"That's how you can tell it's a boy." Said Pansuke as he put his arm around Kobiru.

Kobiru cleared her throat slightly and pushed Pansuke's hand off her shoulder.

Pansuke looked at her with a confused expression but she didn't meet eyes with him. So he just shrugged it off.

"Are the seats assigned?" said Kobiru.

"YES!" said Kiba. "The Uzumakis will be sitting here. The Uchihas will be there. And the Aburames and Inuzukas will be here and-"

"Kiba, I know you put a lot into planning this thing, but we already decided that people are going to be allowed to sit wherever they want." Hinata said.

"Oh right." Said Kiba. "I forget things so easily!"

"I know." Said Hinata.

"Lee, is it all right if I sit with you?" Kobiru asked.

"Um…no." Lil Lee answered flatly.

"Why?" Kobiru said.

"Because Pansuke wants to sit with you." Said Lil Lee.

"Yeah!" said Pansuke.

Kobiru gave a heavy sigh. "Pansuke and I have the rest of our lives to sit next to each other. How often am I going to see YOU? Besides, I had a huge crush on you when we were younger and sitting next to you will make me feel nostalgic."

"No." said Lil Lee finally.

"That's fine!" said Pansuke to Lil Lee. "We didn't want to sit at the same table as you and your hideous child ANYWAY!"

Lil Lee glared and glared, but that's all he could do. He didn't dare make an attack because then he knew what would come out of it and he just didn't feel like dealing with that situation.

"How about Lee sits on one side of me…" started Kobiru. "And Pansuke sits on the other. That way, nobody loses."

"Except me." Said Lil Lee.

"Oh Lee!" said Kobiru giving him a slight, playful shove. "It doesn't matter because wherever you sit, I'm just going to sit next to you!"

"Well, I'm sitting here." Said Lil Lee as he pointed to the seat that Senjou was sitting in. "Senjou will move down one so that I can sit next to Sasuke and then on my other side will be Senjou."

"Um…okay." Said Senjou as he stood up and started for the seat directly to his left but Kobiru dove for it. Then Pansuke sat in the seat next to her.

"Well, I guess I'll go sit somewhere else." Said Senjou as he went to go seek another chair.

Lil Lee was just about to stand up but then he just lost all the motivation to considering Kobiru would most likely follow him wherever he went. At least here, he could sit next to Sasuke Jr. who was, most likely his favorite person there. But then again, Sasuke Jr. was pretty good at getting on his nerves.

"SO, Lee!" said Gai as he sat down in a chair and Lee sat down next to him. "How has it been going?"

"GREAT!" said Lee. "Though not TOO great because I hardly get to see you!"

"Oh Lee." Said Gai with a sigh. "Alas, my time in this world is growing short and there are yet many things I haven't accomplished."

"DON'T SAY THAT GAI!!" yelled Lee.

"You have to admit." Said Kakashi. "He looks like he's about a hundred years old."

"Kakashi!" said Kurenai. "That was rude!"

"It's true." Said Kakashi. "You can't deny it. So I don't want to see you try."

"ANYWAY." Said Gai, eyeing Kakashi.

"NO, Gai!" said Lee. "I don't want to hear those words!!" Lee then buried his face in his hands and began to cry.

"There, there, Dad." Said Lil Gai, comforting his father.

Lil Lee could only gape from another table at his crazy family.

"Oh Lee!" said Kobiru since she could tell that Lil Lee was watching his father act like a fool. "I remember how surprised I was when I found out that he was your father! I didn't believe it at first! I thought HE was your dad!" She pointed at Neji who was sitting at some other table.

"I know." Said Lil Lee, getting more and more annoyed. "And lemme guess. You had a HUGE crush on me."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you noticed!" said Kobiru, turning red.

"Hey Kobiru!" said Pansuke. "Talk to me some more!"

"Pansuke, I haven't seen Lee in AGES!" said Kobiru. "Let me talk to him for a few minutes!"

"Well, if you remember correctly, you had a huge crush on him when you were little."

"Oh Pansuke!" laughed Kobiru. "It's not like those things LAST. WE'RE married, remember?"

"Just remember that that's MY son you're carrying." Said Pansuke. "Not Lee's."

"Oh PLEASE." Said Lil Lee, unable to contain himself any further.

"Yeah, Lee." Said Sasuke Jr. "Wouldn't want to be stuck with two kids. One will look like your dad and the other will look like a mixture between Pansuke and Kobiru."

Little Sasuke coughed and started choking.

"No…" said Sasuke Jr. in a comforting voice. "Not all babies can look like you. You're just lucky." Then he paused. "Well, your new sibling will look kind of like you. But I expect you guys to be super ninjas with your awesome abilities." Then he lifted Little Sasuke up and stared at him eye to eye. "You WILL have the Sharingan. I know it. It would be impossible for you not to." Little Sasuke then grabbed Sasuke Jr.'s face and what followed was an adorable dadoo with his baby scene.

Lil Lee watched the whole scene with a raised eyebrow and then lifted Kikei up. "What about you? You got anything to say?"

"You're such a great father, Lee!" Kobiru laughed.

"I was just copying Sasuke in a less enthusiastic and weird manner." Admitted Lil Lee.

"You're going to have to come over to visit my baby!" Kobiru continued as if Lil Lee had said nothing. "You can even baby-sit!"

"Kajitsu can baby-sit." Said Pansuke in a final tone.

Suddenly, Senjou came walking over.

"Why didn't you tell me there was an empty seat here?" he asked as he sat down next to Sasuke Jr.

"Tashoku's sitting there." He said but then he pointed to the next seat over. "But there's no one sitting next in between her and Pansuke."

"I don't want to sit next to Pansuke…" said Senjou quietly.

"Well, if you want to sit at the big kids table, you have to put up with sitting with some people you don't necessarily want to sit next to." Said Sasuke Jr. Then he glared at Pansuke. "And I say that knowing full well that Senjou is legally an adult and has every right to sit here. It is merely by coincidence that he is forced to sit next to someone he doesn't want to sit next to."

"Well I don't want to sit next to him either." Said Pansuke. "Violent little bastard."

"Now now…" said Kobiru. "We're all ninjas here. We're all violent."

Everyone stared at her and decided to pretend as though she hadn't said that.

Senjou sighed and sat next to Pansuke, just DARING him to make a comment.

Suddenly, Tashoku walked over a bit drunkenly.

"I'm feeling much better…" she said as she sat down and leaned over to Sasuke Jr. to kiss him.

"No…" he said pushing her away gently. "Not if you've just been throwing up."

"I brought a toothbrush!" she said as she opened up her purse and pulled one out.

"Still…" said Sasuke Jr.

"I can kiss my wife whenever I want." Said Pansuke as if he had any right to start a competition with someone from the clan of competition. Then he leaned over to kiss Kobiru who was trying to converse with Lil Lee.

"Not right now, Pansuke." Said Kobiru, pushing him away. "This may sound kind of funny…"

"But you had a crush on me when we were teenagers?" Lil Lee filled in.

"No…" said Kobiru. "That I think I STILL have a crush on you."

"Whoa Kobiru." Said Lil Lee as he scooted his chair away. "We're BOTH married."

"Well, I am at least." Said Kobiru.

"I still am!" Lil Lee insisted.

"Hey Lee, you better not be hitting on my wife!!" said Pansuke suddenly.

"I'm not." Said Lil Lee. "I think she's trying to hit on me."

"Why would she be trying to hit on you?" Pansuke said, looking baffled. "She's my WIFE. I'm MARRIED to her. Right Kobiru?"

Kobiru sighed. "I suppose…" she said.

"I suppose?!" Pansuke demanded, looking angrily at Lil Lee as if it were at all his fault.

"ANYWAY!" said Tashoku, trying to break up controversy. "I wonder when all the fun stuff is going to start happening! My parents said something about the fact that they were going to dance to their wedding song! That'll be so cute!"

Everyone paused.

"Lee, I'm definitely watching you." Said Pansuke with a glare.

"All right, Pansuke." Said Lil Lee. "Watch me all you want, I'm not going to hit on your wife."

Pansuke pointed dramatically at Lil Lee and walked away ominously while still facing Lil Lee. Then he tripped over a chair, fell on his ass, stood up and continued walking away, this time, facing the right direction.

"Lee, I can't help it." Said Kobiru, her voice sounding desperate. "I still have a crush on you. It's even bigger now. I know you feel the same way too!"

"What?" Lil Lee managed to spit out. "No! No I don't!"

"I know you're only hiding your true feelings because I'm married, and you're TECHNICALLY married…" Kobiru continued, grabbing onto Lil Lee's hand.

"I can't wait for my parents to dance!" Tashoku said, once again trying to come in between the controversy.

"And everyone will dance with their significant others." Said Sasuke Jr. motioning over to Pansuke as he looked at Kobiru. "So any misled thoughts will be gone once you're dancing, I bet."

"I have no one to dance with." Said Senjou, completely oblivious to the conversation and the topic.

"Lee, will you dance with me?" asked Kobiru.

"Won't it look a little weird if I'm dancing with you?" Lil Lee questioned.

"So is that a yes?" Kobiru asked.

"No." said Lil Lee. "No, it is not."

"Don't worry about people talking." Said Kobiru. "It's not about them. It's about us."

Tashoku leaned over to Sasuke Jr.

"Why are we just letting this exchange happen like this?" she asked.

"Well, I'M letting it happen because I think I know Lee enough to assume that he's not going to go with Kobiru or anything." Said Sasuke Jr.

"I think he's appreciate if you bailed him out while I distracted Kobiru." Said Tashoku.

"So why are we talking about this as opposed to doing it?"

Suddenly, Pansuke returned with a glare and pointed at Lil Lee. "I'm still watching you."

"Obviously not very hard." Said Lil Lee.

"So will you be having the chicken or the fish?" asked a voice from behind them. Everyone turned around to answer the caterer just as Lil Lee gasped.

"Lee?!" the caterer said.

"Aikan?!" Lil Lee managed to spit out.

"What a small world!" Senjou said obliviously.


	30. I am so much hotter than number three

MEANWHILE!!

Kiba, Hinata, Sasuke, Ino, Sakura and Naruto were sitting at a table. There was no logical explanation for why these six were sitting together, they just were. Well, Kiba and Hinata sat down first and Sasuke felt that because the people whose party it was in honor of was sitting at that table, that made the table special so he just belonged at that table. Ino sat next to him of course and Sakura, who was feeling friendly with Ino at the time, sat down next to her. And by default, Naruto took the empty seat. So there you have it.

"It's such a relief to get away from Tenten finally." Said Sakura randomly. "I've been feeling awkward around her this whole time."

"Why?" asked Ino.

"Well, because she always seems so depressed and we always have to cheer her up." Said Sakura. "Plus, she's older and I never know WHAT to say!"

Just then, Shikamaru and Shikataro appeared.

"I'm going to sit here." Said Shikamaru, pulling up the last empty seat since each table sat seven for some inexplicable reason. Shikataro stood there for a moment or two.

"Dad, where should I sit?" Shikataro asked finally when he noticed that Shikamaru wasn't making any sort of motion about ANYTHING.

"I need my space, Shikataro." Said Shikamaru. "You'll have to find someplace else to sit."

Shikataro shrugged and meandered off in search of the table with the least amount of occupants.

"You really should be nicer to him." Said Ino since she always feels she's entitled to voice her opinion.

"I AM nice to him." Said Shikamaru with a glare.

Shikataro, meanwhile, had finally settled on the table with Moujo, Jijo, Sanjo, Kajitsu, Hana and Hiyoko. He figured that this table would be lower key than the others and he wouldn't have to deal with things that mattered.

"I can't keep my hair in place!" complained Kajitsu as she looked at her reflection in a spoon.

"Not blessed with perfect hair like me, I guess." Said Hana, not even needing to look in the mirror to know that not a strand of her hair was out of place.

"I would hardly call the Uchiha hair perfect." Said Kajitsu. "Unless your brothers' hair dries perfectly and they PURPOSEFULLY style it like that."

"Hey! That's a style!" said Hana. "Girls happen to find that very attractive."

"I don't." said Kajitsu.

"Well, then you're either lying or you've got impaired judgment." Said Hana.

"You're pretty high on that horse, aren't you?" asked Kajitsu.

"No, it is SO true." Said Hana. "Isn't it Moujo?"

"I don't like being dragged into these!" said Moujo protectively.

"Oh come on." Said Hana. "Senjou's got that hairstyle and you're saying you don't like it?"

"I never said that!" said Moujo.

"Yes you did." Said Jijo.

"No she didn't." said Sanjo. The two of them glared at each other through their sunglasses. Hiyoko hugged herself and Shikataro just listened.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Tell me, Lee, are you going to have any MORE grandchildren?" Gai asked enthusiastically.

"You'll have to talk to my sons about that one!" chuckled Lee.

"Well?" said Gai to Lil Gai.

"I'm going to fill my house up with babies!!" said Lil Gai excitedly.

"Now, now, Lil Gai." Said Tenten, putting a hand on his shoulder so he wouldn't over-excite himself.

"I just love the sound of that!!" said Gai.

"Of what?" asked the Rock family.

"'Lil Gai'!" Gai replied. "It makes me so happy that there's a child out there named after me!!"

"YEAH!!" cheered Lil Gai and Lee.

"Why am I at this table?" Shino said, but it was mostly to himself.

"You know what I just find incredible, Cho?" said Shika to his twin.

"What is that, Shika?" Cho replied.

"US!" said Shika.

"OH SHIKA!" laughed Cho.

"Why am I at this table?" Shino repeated, but this time loud enough for everyone to hear.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Don't you wish Shikamaru was sitting at this table with us?" said Asuma to Chouji.

"Do I ever!" said Chouji. But then he put his massive arm around Inoshi. "But we have Inoshi here."

"Heh heh…yeah…" said Inoshi nervously as he pushed on Chouji's arm lightly but not lightly enough to get rid of it. He wouldn't want to hurt Chouji's feelings. Inoshi was sitting in between Chouji and Neji. And while most people would be intimidated by Neji, compared to Chouji, whom most people would be comforted by, Inoshi found comfort in Neji.

"No I won't switch places with you." Said Neji as he looked at Inoshi's desperate face.

"Oh, I wasn't going to ask you to ask to switch…" said Inoshi quietly.

"I need to sit next to Hichou." Said Neji. "To make sure certain things are done and certain other things AREN'T."

Inoshi gave him a questioning look.

"You don't need to ask." Said Neji.

"Why am I here?" asked Kurenai just like Shino had.

"I'm here too." Said Kakashi. "I think."

MEANWHILE!!

"Is this where you've been the whole time?" asked Lil Lee. "Waiting tables?"

"No." said Aikan. "I've been doing a lot of other things."

"Couldn't you have been doing your 'other things' at home?" Lil Lee asked.

"Lee…" said Aikan. "What part of 'I'm leaving you.' did you not understand?"

"You didn't use those exact words…" said Lil Lee with a cringe.

"You know, I should have known you'd be here when I saw your dad." Said Aikan with a sigh. Then she caught sight of Kikei and shivered.

"Oh come on!" said Lil Lee. "You'll get used to it! I did!"

"I need to go take everyone else's orders." Said Aikan as she began to walk away.

"Will you be back?" asked Lil Lee.

"Maybe." Said Aikan as she walked away.

"You may not have realized it but I had a crush on her when I was a teenager." Said Pansuke in a mock voice.

"You did?!" Kobiru yelled. "HOW DARE YOU!!"

"I was just kidding!" said Pansuke even though it was true.

"Then…you were making fun of me?!" Kobiru demanded. Before Pansuke could answer, Kobiru stood up and stormed off in a huff. Tashoku followed after her. Maybe they could talk about stuff.

"This party is becoming a soap opera." Sasuke Jr. observed. "Or at least this table is."

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that." Said Pansuke with a sigh.

"What?" Sasuke Jr. asked with a bit of an edge to his voice. "None of this has anything to do with me!"

"I was talking to Lee." Said Pansuke.

"Then why were you facing me?" asked Sasuke Jr.

"Lee's sitting next to you!" said Pansuke.

"But you were looking RIGHT at me!" said Sasuke Jr.

"Don't assume that I'm always talking to you!" Pansuke said.

"You wanna fight?" asked Sasuke Jr. "You wanna fight? Because if that's what you're leading to then I'm ready for a go!"

Pansuke didn't know whether to feel satisfied or confused after sparking this reaction.

MEANWHILE!!!

Shikamaru was currently observing the action that was going over at one of the far tables. Chouji now had his arm around Inoshi and was practically leaning on top of him.

Shikamaru looked at Sasuke who, unfortunately, had his back to that particular table and was currently in a heated argument with Naruto.

"Sasuke." Shikamaru said.

"What?" said Sasuke.

"Chouji is molesting your son." Shikamaru said plainly.

Sasuke spun around faster than the speed of light to see everything that was going down. He took it upon himself to stand up and go over there to make sure nothing DID go down.

"Shikamaru, I think you're a little hard on Chouji." Said Kiba.

"You said yourself that he was creepy." Shikamaru reminded him.

"He is creepy." Kiba said. "But I don't think he was MOLESTING Inoshi!"

"Come on, this is CHOUJI we're talking about!" Ino said, not knowing whose side to take.

"Exactly." Shikamaru said, looking at Ino as if she was stupid.

"I don't fully understand the situation!" said Hinata but she looked happy about it. And she probably was.

MEANWHILE!!!

"How come you always sit at our table, Shikataro?" Hana asked randomly.

"Because I feel like it." Shikataro answered.

"Well I don't mind!" said Kajitsu openly. "Number four hottest bachelor in Konoha!"

"I am so much hotter than number three." Said Shikataro because he had been looking at the magazine earlier and comparing why he was number four and not number three, or number two or number one.

"Who was number three?" asked Moujo. Shikataro shrugged.

"Some nobody." He responded.

"Obviously it wasn't some nobody." Said Hana. "It had to be somebody famous or really sexy."

"I didn't know who he was." Said Shikataro as if that mattered at all.

"That doesn't make him a nobody." Said Kajitsu.

"Well, I was the Hokage's son." Said Shikataro. "I'm obviously not a nobody." Then he pulled out the magazine because he had been carrying it around and foaming about it. "I mean, I don't see why some people are in here just because they're good ninjas…or part of a certain family."

"What if you're legitimately really really sexy?" asked Moujo, flipping to Senjou's page. "You can't say he doesn't deserve to be number one?"

Shikataro decided not to comment on the matter. Sure, he agreed that Senjou was good looking but come on. Was he actually going to SAY that? He didn't want to look like he THOUGHT SENJOU WAS SEXY AND WANTED TO PURSUE HIM AS A MALE FRIEND. Because he didn't. He was SO straight. In fact, he was so incredibly straight that he was like… Vash the Stampede…or looked like him at least. Don't worry; even I'm not sure how that logic works.

MEANWHILE!!!

"When is this party going to get moving?" said Gai as he started shaking around in his seat as if he was dancing.

"I suppose when all the other guests arrive." Said Lee thoughtfully. "Tenten, are you going to dance with me?"

"Of course I will." Said Tenten, looking at Lee as if he was stupid for asking. And he kind of was.

"Dad, I don't have anyone to dance with." Said Lil Gai sadly. "I don't have a girlfriend."

"WHAT?!" said Gai. "How do you NOT have a girlfriend?!"

"I don't know!" said Lee as if the question was directed towards him.

"This is simply intolerable!" said Gai, slamming the table with his fist. "OW!"

"Whatever shall we do?" said Lil Gai. "Shika and Cho have TRIED to get me a date…"

"Yes." Sighed Shika. "We tried our hardest."

"Even with The Stylish Duo of Konoha: Matchmaking Edition, Gai still remains dateless." Cho added.

"I think your glow is just TOO youthful." Said Gai as he wiped a tear from his eye. "For that, I envy you."

"Oh Gai!" Lil Gai sobbed. "If only you were my teacher!"

"If only you were my student!" said Gai. "I could have taught you a thing or two!"

"I would probably have a girlfriend at this point if you were my teacher!" Lil Gai screamed.

"You'd probably have a WIFE if I were your teacher!!"

"AWWWWWW!!!" yelled Lee, Gai and Lil Gai as their eyes burned.

"I'm sorry." Said Shino turning to Tenten. Tenten looked at Shino obliviously.


	31. No, don’t fight over my love!

MEANWHILE!!!

Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Chouji, Neji and Hichou were all completely blown away and in shock. Sasuke had just lumbered over, given ALL of them the speech of their lifetimes, grabbed Inoshi and then stomped off.

"I don't see what _I _did wrong." Said Kakashi.

"I would get offended, but I'm way above that." Said Neji, straightening his collar.

"Why was he so angry anyway?" Chouji said.

The other people at the table glared at Chouji.

"What?" Chouji asked.

It was silent.

Chouji sighed and looked at Inoshi's empty seat. He looked at it longingly. He looked at it… with love in his eyes.

"I wish Inoshi were here…" he said, reaching out and touching the seat that Inoshi had occupied no longer than two minutes ago.

Everyone, including Asuma, had to scooch away from Chouji after THAT.

And as soon as Chouji began stroking the chair, Asuma had to say something.

"Chouji…" said Asuma. "It's all about Shikamaru, not men. Pull yourself together."

"Yeah but…" said Chouji, looking at the chair and then over at Inoshi who was standing at the moment. Then he sighed long and hard. "Asuma…I think I may have gotten over Shikamaru."

Asuma looked at Chouji with bug eyes.

"But…it's Shikamaru!" said Asuma

"Yeah…but now I think there is someone new…" said Chouji.

MEANWHILE!!

"Your dad's a spaz." Said Pansuke to Sasuke Jr. Of course, because Sasuke wasn't exactly being quiet about his lecturing, the whole place heard it.

"He's just a little overprotective." Said Senjou.

"He's got reasons." Said Sasuke Jr. But then he glanced at Senjou who looked as though he were going into deep thought.

"He does?" Senjou asked.

Lil Lee was too busy woeing to contribute to the conversation.

Tashoku and Kobiru came back at around that time too.

"Did we miss anything?" Tashoku asked, sitting down.

"Sasuke's dad pretty much exploded for no reason." Pansuke explained.

"It wasn't for _no reason_." Said Sasuke Jr., looking annoyed. Why was HE the only one who understood?

"It wasn't?" Senjou said, looking genuinely confused.

"No, no it wasn't." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Then what was it for, since you're so smart?" Pansuke challenged.

"I don't want to get into it now." Said Sasuke Jr. because he still remembered the happy face of Uncle Chouji when he was a furling…and felt so bad for him.

"Ha." Said Pansuke. "There IS no reason."

"Yes there is." Said Sasuke Jr., looking really annoyed.

"What is it?" Senjou asked.

"I don't need YOU taking Pansuke's side." Said Sasuke Jr.

"That woman doesn't mean anything to you, right Lee?!" said Kobiru randomly as if she had been trying to get the answer out of Lil Lee for hours on end.

"What are you talking about?!" Lil Lee demanded. "She's my WIFE! Of COURSE she means something to me!!"

"And why would you care?" asked Pansuke, turning to Kobiru. Kobiru looked up at Pansuke dramatically

"I don't know Pansuke!" she said as wiped tears from her eyes.

"This is all YOUR fault!" said Pansuke to Lil Lee. Then he turned back to Kobiru. "Don't worry, I trust you. You won't cheat on me. Not with HIM anyway."

"Pansuke…" said Kobiru slowly.

"Especially with our child so close to being born!" Pansuke continued.

"So what IS the reason?" Senjou asked to Sasuke Jr. because now he simply HAD to know.

Suddenly Aikan came over.

"I'm done with my shift." She said. Then she pulled up a chair and began to squeeze in between Sasuke Jr. and Lil Lee.

"Excuse me…" said Sasuke Jr. who might very well have been offended that his spot was now being invaded. But we don't know. He does get offended AWFULLY easily.

"See, we are still together." Said Lil Lee to Kobiru as soon as Aikan sat down.

"No, Lee, we're not." Said Aikan.

Lil Lee had this look on his face that suggested someone had just canceled Christmas. Either that or he had been shut down by his half wife right in front of everyone. Both were devastating.

"Why?" he managed to sputter finally.

"I already told you!" said Aikan.

"No you didn't." said Lil Lee. "If I knew, trust me, I think…I think I would know."

"So you want me to go through this in front of all your pals?" Aikan said. Lil Lee nodded. He just wanted to know. "You're too pessimistic! The glass is half empty for you! Actually, come to think of fit, the glass is COMPLETELY empty! I just can't deal with that!"

She paused.

"In addition!" she went on. "Your genes! I mean…seriously!" She made a gagging sound. "Sorry…" she cleared her throat. "Were you adopted or something?!"

"We've been through that." Said Lil Lee. "And I've already told you that I'm not."

"Reason three!" Aikan continued. "I don't feel like there's any real love between us!"

"We've been dating since we were thirteen." Lil Lee reminded her.

"So?" said Aikan. "Love isn't real when you're thirteen. And besides, you were so romantic when you proposed to me! You said; I'll marry you when I become apart of ANBU! But you're not an ANBU!"

"But I married you!" Lil Lee gaped.

"I know!" said Aikan. "That's what makes it unromantic!! You got married just for the sake of getting married!"

"But I try so hard to be in ANBU." Said Lil Lee looking at Senjou. "But SOME people don't recognize that."

"See?" said Aikan. "Why are you blaming HIM? Don't blame him because you're not an ANBU!"

"But he's the captain…" said Lil Lee. "And he's not making me one."

"Obviously there's a reason!" said Aikan. "I mean, he's got to be, what? Nineteen?"

"Yay!" cheered Senjou but Aikan ignored him after a short pause.

"…Yeah…so obviously there's something to being an ANBU that makes it so they don't just let ANYONE in." said Aikan.

"I could give you a detailed list of everything you could improve…" suggested Senjou.

"Wait…" said Lil Lee. "I thought you said it was just the cancel move."

"Um…" stuttered Senjou. "Technically that's the only BIG thing."

"I could have been working on stuff this whole time!" Lil Lee yelled.

"See Lee?" said Aikan. "I'm sorry. Maybe I never really loved you. Maybe it was all just lust."

"_I_, on the other hand, have ALWAYS loved you!" Kobiru announced.

"HEY!" yelled Pansuke. "Not anymore!!"

"Yes, I have just recently come to the realization that I have always loved Lee and I don't think there's anything I could possibly do to reverse those feelings now that they have surfaced!" Kobiru rambled. "And I will never be happy unless I can spend the rest of my life with him!"

"How DARE you seduce my pregnant wife, Lee!!" yelled Pansuke, jumping to his feet.

"I'm not seducing her!" said Lil Lee. "I'm trying to have a conversation with MY wife and I am in no way interested in YOURS!"

"FIGHT ME!!" yelled Pansuke.

"No, don't fight over my love!" said Kobiru.

"I'm not fighting over your love!" Lil Lee said angrily.

It was then that Kakashi strolled over. His mere presence killed the whole battle aura for some reason.

He looked confused as to why that happened. "Don't stop fighting on account of me." He said. "I just came over here so I could get a better view of the fight."

If he wasn't KAKASHI, he probably would have been smacked just then.

"So will you fight me?" Pansuke demanded.

"No!" yelled Lil Lee. "I don't desire the love of your wife and I know you're just going to put me to sleep. There will be no REAL fight and I want you to have the prize anyway!"

"Oh Lee!" swooned Kobiru. "That was so poetic!"

"…" said Lee. "No it wasn't!!"

"Wanna go to Boston? Wanna go to Lynn? Watch out Little Sasuke, you're gonna fall IN!" sang Sasuke Jr. as he bounced Little Sasuke contently on his knee as the baby laughed happily.

"I feel as though I should be doing something." Said Tashoku nervously. Then she caught Kikei out of the corner of her eye crying. "Ah yes. My motherly instincts kick in."

She lifted the baby out of his seat, noticed he had a dirty diaper and then turned to her left and handed him off to Senjou.

"Here, take care of him." She instructed.

"Look underneath the underneath." Said Kakashi, continuing to make everyone aware of his presence.

"You know, Pansuke." Said Aikan randomly. "You were the one who could always make me laugh."

"Really?" said Pansuke. "But…I'm married…"

Suddenly, the music kicked in. It was some really awesome song that everyone loves in order to get them all revved up for the party as some Inuzukas started arriving.

"Oh, Lee!" said Kobiru. "You MUST dance with me!"

"No I mustn't." said Lil Lee, pushing Kobiru away.

"Lee, keep in mind that _I _know a fair share of genjutsu too." Said Kobiru, putting her hands on her hips.

"That's not fair!" whined Lil Lee.

"Don't not have fun on account of ME!" said Aikan, standing up.

"I won't allow this!" said Pansuke, getting up and pouncing in between Kobiru and Lil Lee.

"It's just a harmless nostalgic dance!" said Aikan, pushing Pansuke out from obstructing their dancing path. "Go on you two and have some fun!"

"Now I really feel like I should be doing something." Said Tashoku. But she didn't do a thing.

MEANWHILE!!!

"WELCOME!!" exclaimed Kiba as all of his crazy relatives came over to say hi to him and congratulate him. The Inuzukas certainly were a social bunch, especially in comparison to the Hyuugas but it's not like any Hyuugas were there to compare them with. Except Neji of course…but he doesn't even count.

"I hope he doesn't introduce all his relatives to us." Sasuke whispered to Ino.

All of the Inuzukas turned around and stared at Sasuke with disapproving glares.

"They heard that." Ino said quietly.

"We heard that too." They said as a collective.

Then, just to be annoying, because the Inuzukas are a flamboyant bunch, a couple of them came over JUST to say hi to Sasuke.

"So, are you two the OTHER grandparents?" asked Mr. Inuzuka.

"Is that what we're classified as?" asked Ino with a laugh. The Inuzukas laughed too but Sasuke remained stoic.

"Yes." He said finally.

"We could tell." Said Mrs. Inuzuka. "Because after holding Little Sasuke, I can definitely smell a bit of him on you."

"You mean a bit of me on him." Sasuke corrected.

"I guess…" said Mrs. Inuzuka. "You've got a very recognizable smell."

"So I've been told." Said Sasuke. Then Kiba came walking over.

"Isn't this a great party?" he asked with a laugh. And since he has super hearing, he was able to pick up on the conversation. "Sasuke doesn't like it when I smell him."

"I'll keep that in mind." Said Mr. Inuzuka. "But it'll be hard. You're one of the nicest smelling ones here."

"How does one go about obtaining a nice smell?" asked Ino.

"Oh, you've got one too." Said Mrs. Inuzuka. "You smell like flowers."

"Oh!" said Ino. "Because of the flower shop!"

"Probably." Said Mrs. Inuzuka.

"But Little Sasuke…" said Mr. Inuzuka. "He smells pretty good."

"Almost like a drug." Said Kiba.

"What?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. At this point, he had reason to believe they were TRYING to freak him out.

"A mix of the Uchiha scent, I don't know why but they all smell good." Said Kiba.

"All?" asked Sasuke.

"Well, I've been told." Said Kiba. "By…Inuzukas and dogs…who have smelled them before…"

"I see." Said Sasuke.

"So there's Uchiha, plus Ino's flower scent." Said Kiba. "Mixed with my scent, which everything Inuzuka knows is always good to that person."

"Amen to that!" said Mr. and Mrs. Inuzuka together.

"Added with Hinata." Said Kiba. "Which is the best smell in the world."

It's a good thing Sasuke had already vented recently because if he hadn't earlier, he would have surely blown his top right then and there.

"Dad, how long am I going to have to stand here?" Inoshi asked after building up all the confidence he had in the world and letting it all go at once.

Sasuke looked at Inoshi.

"I mean…" Inoshi started, feeling very intimidated. "Can I go back and sit down?"

"Not with Chouji." Sasuke said.

"Um…where should I sit then?" Inoshi asked.

"Anywhere else." Said Sasuke. "But AWAY from Chouji. Wherever Chouji can't see you."

"Why?" asked Inoshi. "What's wrong with Uncle Chouji?"

"Inoshi, just do as you're told." Shikamaru advised.

"Well…I was GOING to but I'm still curious…" Inoshi confessed but once again, he trailed off nervously.

Shikamaru sighed and gestured to the chair that Shikataro once occupied. "You can sit here." He said finally.

"Okay…" said Inoshi.


	32. Sasuke, ask my daughter to dance!

MEANWHILE!!!

Shikataro saw Inoshi sat down in his seat. His eyes narrowed. That wasn't fair.

"ANYWAY!" said Moujo, turning the pages of the People magazine that Shikataro had supplied. "I totally think number 16 is sexier than number 15. And number 14 SO deserves to be way up by number 7 or something."

"I think it's time we took this away." Said Jijo reaching over to grab the magazine out of Moujo's hands. Moujo looked up with fiery, glowy eyes that told Jijo to back off.

"No!" she said. "I need to look at it!"

"Not again." Said Sanjo.

"See, this is why you don't give Moujo girly magazines." Said Jijo.

"Do you think Tashoku will mind if I take them home?" Moujo asked. "I mean, it's not like she looks at them anymore. They were all dusty and stuff and she's married so…"

"I don't know." Said Hana because Moujo was looking at her as if SHE had all the answers. "Ask her."

"But what if she says no?" asked Moujo. "Then I don't know what I'd do! You can't buy these anymore!!"

"What, are you going to steal them?" asked Kajitsu.

"No, I don't think so." Said Moujo as if that answer was a good answer.

MEANWHILE!!

"May I have this dance, Tenten my sweet?" said Lee as he bowed like a chivalrous knight and put out his hand.

Tenten was suddenly reminded why she loved him as she took his hand and they started dancing around. They were dancing quite contently until they suddenly danced right into another dancing pair.

"Hi Aikan!" said Tenten.

"Um…hi…" said Aikan nervously.

"Oh!" said Lee. "Why hello Aikan! What are you doing here?"

Then both Tenten and Lee took note of the fact that Aikan was dancing with Pansuke.

"Dancing…with…Pansuke?" said Lee, trying to keep a big smile plastered on his face.

"Well, we're just passing the time!" said Aikan defensively.

"Yeah!" said Pansuke. "Don't mind us!"

"Where's Lil Lee?" said Tenten.

"Um…somewhere else?" Aikan said.

"Oh." Said Tenten.

"Well, Aikan, you should dance with Lil Lee." Lee said. "After all, you two are married. You're not married to Pansuke. You're married to Lil Lee."

"He didn't…?" started Aikan. Then she sighed. "Oh my…"

"Oh my what?" asked Lee.

"Perhaps it would be best if…" started Aikan slowly but then Pansuke butted in.

"Your son and Aikan are split." Said Pansuke. "Divorced. No longer together. What once was a unit…is now…not a unit."

"Pansuke, shut up!" said Aikan as she gave him a small elbow in the stomach.

"WHAT?!" Lee demanded in an irrational sounding tone. He had perfect reason to be irrational, his tone was just notably irrational.

"Lee, we don't want to draw too much attention to it." Said Tenten. "Let's just go talk to Lil Lee and get this whole thing sorted out."

"Yes." Said Lee. "We'll talk to him and we'll get to the bottom of this prank."

"It's not a prank, Mr. Rock." Said Aikan.

"But what about the baby?" asked Tenten as she pulled a handkerchief from her purse and began wiping the tears from her eyes."

"I'm letting Lee keep it." Said Aikan.

"HIM!!" said Lee. "Letting Lee keep HIM!!"

"Lee, calm down." Tenten urged as the two of them waltzed over to where Lil Lee was sitting. Kobiru was sitting next to him, pestering him ENDLESSLY as he sat there with his arms crossed and a childish pout on his face.

"Lil Lee, I DEMAND to hear the meaning of this!" said Lee, pointing at Pansuke and Aikan dancing.

"It's like this." Said Lil Lee, standing up. "Aikan's HERE for some reason. And then Kobiru suddenly has decided that her secret crush from when we were teenagers is STILL in effect. And then, in attempt to distract Pansuke from stopping Kobiru from asking ME to dance, Aikan volunteered to dance with HIM."

Lee looked awfully confused.

"In other words," said Kobiru. "Aikan and I have traded husbands."

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID AT ALL!!!" yelled Lil Lee. And his loud, irrational sounding voice wasn't irrational at all. It was totally justified.

"MY HEART!!" Lee said, clutching his frail heart and fainting.

Tenten watched him flop to the ground. Then she looked at Lil Lee with a slightly confused expression. "I still don't understand." She said.

"Neither do I." Lil Lee confessed.

"Yeah but…Aikan also said something about the two of you being divorced!" said Tenten. "How long had that been going on for?"

"Um…three months?" Lil Lee said hesitantly.

"And how long did you plan on keeping that a secret from us?!" Lee gasped form his position on the floor but then he fainted again.

"As long as I could?" Lil Lee suggested.

Suddenly, Kiba came over with his arm latched upon Hinata's shoulders.

"Great party, hey guys?" he asked. All of the Rocks came to the mutual agreement that they weren't going to tell Kiba or anyone else who hadn't already heard that this had happened because they didn't want to ruin the party.

"Oh it's swell." Said Lil Lee, giving a sarcastic thumbs up.

"Well, let's go wander around to everyone else and make the same mindless comment just to fish for compliments, Hinata!" said Kiba as the two of them walked off. Then Kiba's head jerked back in their direction and he glared at Kobiru just for good measure.

"Lee…I never got over you." Said Kobiru.

"Stop saying that!" Lil Lee yelled.

"But its true!" said Kobiru. "I can't hide my feelings any longer!"

"You were never HIDING them to begin with!"

"Look guys, we'll discuss this after the party." Said Tenten. "Just try to have a good time for now."

"Kobiru, go dance with someone else." Said Lil Lee. "Just leave me alone for FIVE minutes."

"Who am I SUPPOSED to dance with?!" Kobiru demanded.

"Your HUSBAND maybe?!" Lil Lee said.

Meanwhile, the Uchihas at the table were just sort of sitting there. They looked at each other and gave a heavy sigh.

"I feel like I should be doing something…" Sasuke Jr. said. "But what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know." Said Tashoku with a shrug. "Try not to let it bother you."

She really just wanted him to ask her to dance.

He was sitting there obliviously.

So she coughed a few times.

"You okay?" Senjou asked.

"Yes, I'm fine." Said Tashoku.

"Tashoku, I was wondering…" Sasuke Jr. started.

"Yes?" Tashoku said, perking up.

"Neither of us want to quit being ninjas… but if we're going to have at least six children, who's going to watch them all?" Sasuke Jr. said. "Hiring help would be expensive."

Tashoku deflated with unhappiness. "I guess." She said.

"I could watch them!" said Senjou.

"You're always away on missions." Sasuke Jr. reminded him.

"Oh right…" said Senjou. "So you can get Inoshi to do it. He's always just sitting at home writing ANYWAY."

"I want him to be paying full attention to my children." Said Sasuke Jr. "Besides, I would NEVER leave my children in the care of INOSHI."

"Well, he's not incompetent…" said Senjou as if he were a third parent.

"Yes but he's probably more likely to write his book than devote his time to six, maybe even more children." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Wait…" said Tashoku. "I definitely don't want that many children so just get that idea out of your head now!"

"We'll see…" said Sasuke Jr. "You never know, you may change your mind or it may just turn out that way."

"Well, I'm not going to LET it just turn out that way!" Tashoku said.

"I could baby-sit sometimes." Said Senjou. "I mean, I could always send my team without me or just do the missions later."

"Slightly irresponsible there?" asked Sasuke Jr. Senjou shrugged. "Well, I would trust YOU with the children."

"We should talk about this later." Said Tashoku, wanting to get off the subject of the millions of children she would have to bear.

"Then what should we talk about?" asked Sasuke Jr.

"We don't have to TALK…" said Tashoku as she looked over at the dance floor and then back at Sasuke Jr.

Sasuke Jr. leaned past Tashoku and looked at the dance floor. He sat back in his chair and looked at her. "What?" he asked.

"Call me old fashioned, but USUALLY—" started Tashoku but she was interrupted because Kiba and Hinata had just stampeded over.

"Hey everyone!" said Kiba. "Isn't this a great party?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's great!" said Tashoku.

"Tashoku, why aren't you dancing?" Kiba asked. "Sasuke, ask my daughter to dance!"

"I didn't think she wanted to." Sasuke Jr. said.

"What made you think something like that?" said Tashoku.

"You never said you wanted to." Said Sasuke Jr. with a shrug.

There was a pause.

"So ask her!!" said Kiba.

"Okay, okay!" said Sasuke Jr. "Tashoku, do you want to dance?"

"I'd love to!" said Tashoku, standing up.

"Yay!" cheered Senjou.

Then Kiba and Hinata frolicked off.

That left Senjou at the table alone since Lil Lee had run from Kobiru and Kobiru had chased after him.

He sat there at the table like a moron for a few seconds and then sighed.

Then, Sasuke Jr. came back over and handed Little Sasuke to Senjou. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No." said Senjou as he took the happy little baby.

"Thanks." Said Sasuke Jr. as he jogged off.

"I wish I had a girlfriend." He said sadly. "…Or a wife. Or a significant other."

Suddenly, almost as if she had heard him say that, Moujo came over.

"Hi Senjou…" she said nervously as she blushed and sat down three chairs away.

"Hey!" said Senjou pleasantly with a wave.

"Um…uh…how are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine." He said. "A little bored."

"Oh…me too." Said Moujo. "The people dancing sure look like they're having fun."

"Yeah, they do." Said Senjou. "You should find someone to dance with. Maybe…Neji's kid…?"

"No…" said Moujo. "I don't want to dance with him…"

Senjou sat there and looked at her obliviously as she looked around the room nervously and absentmindedly.

Then Senjou stood up and Moujo's heart raced.

"Hey Moujo…" he started.

"Yes?" she said as her heart leapt up into her throat.

"Do you know where the bathroom is by any chance?" he asked.

"Um…" Moujo said as her heart plummeted into the bottom of her stomach. "No…"

"Oh, okay." Said Senjou with a shrug. "I'll just find it myself."

And with that, Senjou frolicked off.

Moujo gave a heavy sigh and trudged back over to the girls and Shikataro table where the other girls were giggling at her. "I TRIED!" she said. "But he hardly noticed me!!"

"I think you should stop bothering trying to get my brother to be interested in you." Hana said. "He's clueless about EVERYTHING."

"Really…?" said Moujo with a sigh. "Maybe I should try Inoshi then…"

"Ew." Said Hana. "Inoshi." A shiver ran down her spine as she frowned and cringed. As if Inoshi was really all that bad.

"What?" asked Moujo.

"Nothing." Said Hana averting her eyes. "It's just…Inoshi is…INOSHI."

"So?" asked Moujo. "Is there something about him that I don't know about that makes him so horrible?"

"Hm…" thought Hana. "Well, I'm not supposed to say it but…he's kind of the failure of the family."

"The failure?" asked Kajitsu with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure it's HIM?"

"Shut up!" Hana said as she stomped on Kajitsu's foot.

"Ow!" Kajitsu yelled.

"I didn't know anyone in your family was a failure." Said Moujo.

"Well, Inoshi is." Said Hana. "He's a terrible ninja and he plays the flute."

"But he's really good looking and he wrote successful books!" said Moujo.

"If you were in my family, you'd understand." Said Hana. Nobody but the Uchihas could EVER understand the situation!!

It was then that the wonderful and pleasant DJ who was at the party took the microphone and declared that it was now time for everyone to sit down and for Kiba and Hinata to come out and dance to their wedding song!!

Aww…it was so precious. Everyone sighed with happiness and wiped tears from their eyes.


	33. You smell almost as nice as you look

"Now that the happy couple have danced, it's time for Daddy to dance with his little girl!" said the DJ in the microphone.

"Oh, I'm so embarrassed!" said Tashoku.

"Come on, Tashoku!" said Kiba. "You heard the DJ!"

Kiba looked at Hinata as she went over and sat down at the table ALLLL alone. Even though she wasn't even remotely alone because there were a bunch of other people at the table, he still felt that she was alone and something had to be done about it.

"Sasuke… that one." Kiba said, pointing to Sasuke Jr. "You are the closest thing Hinata has to a son so I am REQUIRING that you dance with her!"

Sasuke Jr. looked up from his current activity in playing with little Sasuke.

"What?" he said.

"My dad's making you dance with my mom." Tashoku whispered.

"What?" he repeated, just as confused as before.

"It's all right…" said Hinata shyly. "He doesn't have to."

"What kind of son-in-law are you?" asked Kiba.

"Okay, fine." Said Sasuke Jr. as he handed Little Sasuke off to a random group of Inuzukas. Little Sasuke gave Sasuke Jr. that horrified, betrayed look for a moment that told everyone that he already missed his dadoo and that he was most certainly going to cry. Especially since he had all these wacky Inuzukas spazzing out about him.

Sasuke Jr. stood up and he and Hinata walked out onto the dance floor followed by Tashoku and Kiba who was making sure Sasuke Jr. went out.

"You're a nice son-in-law." Said Hinata as the music started. "Don't listen to Kiba. Even if you hadn't danced with me, I still would have thought highly of you."

"Um…no, it's all right." Said Sasuke Jr. "It's not that I didn't want to dance with you, it was just that Kiba kind of caught me off guard."

"Yeah, he's spontaneous." Said Hinata as she looked at Kiba lovingly as he danced enthusiastically with his daughter.

Sasuke SR., meanwhile, had been engaged in something completely random during this entire transaction and looked up to see his son dancing with Hinata of all people. He leaned over to Ino who was sitting next to him.

"Uh…why is Sasuke dancing with Hinata?" he asked.

"Because Kiba's dancing with Tashoku and Kiba thought it was unfair that Hinata didn't have anyone to dance with." Ino answered.

"Yeah but…why Sasuke?" Sasuke said.

"Because Sasuke is Hinata's son-in-law." Ino said, looking a little annoyed.

"Oh right…" Sasuke said with a nod.

"This is boring." Naruto whispered to Sakura. "When are WE going to get to dance?"

"Hey!" said some Inuzuka who was sitting at the next table. "Don't say this is boring!! It's their wedding anniversary!!"

"You have to be careful with what you say." Sakura reminded Naruto. "EVERYONE can hear you in this place."

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto said, crossing his arms. "I feel like the minority here."

"It's because we are." Said Sakura, glancing around at all the people with red marks on their faces.

Suddenly, a random Inuzuka came over and plunked Little Sasuke in Sasuke's arms.

"Here, you're a familiar scent to him." Said the Inuzuka to Sasuke. "Maybe he'll stop crying."

"Just give him Sharky Shark." Said Sasuke.

Sure enough, though, Little Sasuke stopped crying.

"It's because he knows your scent." Said the Inuzuka as he gave Sasuke a heart pat on the back.

"No." said Sasuke. "It's because he knows me."

"He's partial Inuzuka." Said the Inuzuka. "He can smell you."

"That's not why he stopped crying." Insisted Sasuke. "My grandson doesn't sniff me."

"That won't happen until he's at least a year old." Said the Inuzuka. "But since he's only 25% Inuzuka, it may take longer."

Sasuke glared one of his famous glares at the Inuzuka until he left. But the Inuzuka was undeterred! He couldn't care less that he was being despised! Especially by a guy he didn't even know!

Meanwhile, at the next table…

"Really?" Aikan said as she spoke with Pansuke. "Lee seemed to leave out THAT detail…"

"Yeah, it's true." Said Pansuke. "I've beaten him one million times. And the only time he beat me was when he brought a gang of friends to back him up!"

"I wouldn't be surprised." Sighed Aikan.

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not right here!" said Lil Lee angrily.

"Lee, you don't have to take offense to EVERYTHING!" Aikan said.

"Of course I'm going to be offended when you guys are saying bad things about me." Lil Lee said.

"OF COURSE." Aikan said. "Besides, you shouldn't be eavesdropping in the first place!"

"You guys are sitting…right next to me." Lil Lee said.

"Lee, just ignore them and talk to ME!" said Kobiru.

Senjou felt like he was watching a really bad soap opera, especially since he was all alone on his side of the table watching these four interact.

"You know Pansuke, I don't know why I never talked to you." Said Aikan.

"Really?" asked Pansuke with a smile.

"Yeah." Said Aikan. "You're actually a really nice guy."

"I'm still right here!" whined Lil Lee.

"And you're OPTOMISTIC…" continued Aikan, that last one just to annoy Lil Lee. "And handsome and very powerful. Especially to have beaten Lee so many times."

"He didn't beat me."

"It's all right, Lee." Said Kobiru, taking Lil Lee's hand, which was promptly pulled away. "I know what methods Pansuke uses. I know you'd be able to beat him."

"I don't need you telling me that!" Lil Lee said. He was at the peak of his frustration.

"Lee…" said Kobiru. "Your son isn't that ugly. I could get used to him."

"I don't need you to get used to him!"

"Don't you just hate it when you're trying to have a really important conversation and someone whose not even involved interrupts with something completely pointless?" asked Senjou with horseshoe eyes.

Before he could be answered, Tashoku and Sasuke Jr. came back.

"Did we miss anything?" Tashoku asked as she sat down. She looked at Senjou and then at the group of four that were having their share of troubles. "I guess…we did…"

"The dance floor is now open again!" said the DJ. "And I'm taking requests!"

He started playing some random music.

"Oh my god!" said Kajitsu. "Let's request something really silly!"

"Like what?" Moujo asked.

"Like the Monster Mash or something!" said Kajitsu, eyes wide.

"That's stupid…" Hana said with a sigh.

"No, it'll be fun!" said Kajitsu, but Hana obviously wasn't interested. "Fine! Moujo, you and me can request a song!"

"Okay!" said Moujo with a shrug as the two girls stood up and ran over to the DJ.

Hana sighed and shook her head and suddenly felt a tapping on her shoulder. She turned around to see an adolescent Inuzuka with acne with his hand held up.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in a crickily crackily voice.

Hana tried hard to hide her displeasure.

"Um…" she said as she tried to make it look like she was following Kajitsu and Moujo.

"You smell almost as nice as you look." Said the Inuzuka.

"I've never heard THAT one before…" said Hana with a raised eyebrow.

The Inuzuka grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

"Shall we?" he asked.

"I'd rather not…" said Hana as she tried to pull away.

"Come on, someone as pretty as you no wanting to dance?"

"I already have someone to dance with." Said Hana. Suddenly, a very studly Inuzuka walked by. He was mad hawt and he was wearing a Jack shirt. "Him!"

The hawt Inuzuka looked over at her.

"What?" he asked.

"Um…do you want to dance with me?" she asked. She didn't really feel like dancing. But then again, he was mad sexy.

"What a pleasant smell you have." Said the hawt Inuzuka.

"Er…thanks!" said Hana.

The acne invested Inuzuka shrugged and wandered off in search of some other girl to harass.

"Thanks." Hana said to the hawt Inuzuka.

"No problem." Said the hawt Inuzuka as he walked away.

Hana admired him as he walked away just as Moujo and Kajitsu ran up.

"WHO was that?" Moujo asked.

"Just some guy!" Hana giggled.

"Did you dance with him?" Moujo pushed.

"No." said Hana in a girly tone.

"What's his name?" asked Kajitsu.

"I don't know!" Hana said.

"You didn't even ask his name?!" gasped Kajitsu and Moujo at the same time.

"He was just doing a favor for me!" said Hana. "It's not like he ACTUALLY liked me!"

"You don't know that!" said Moujo. "He was totally checking you out!"

"Besides…he's like…seventeen…" Hana said as she looked over, saw him again and then swooned over his turned back.

"And you totally like him back!" Moujo said with a screech.

"I do not!" said Hana with an obvious sigh.

"All the better for me." Said Kajitsu. "Lee's all mine."

"…" began Hana but then she realized that she didn't care.

Kajitsu and Moujo gasped.

"YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM!!" they both yelled. The hawt Inuzuka looked over and the three of them blushed, turned away and giggled.

"He won't stop crying!" Lee said as he bounced Kikei on his knee. "Come on, Lee Three! Be youthful!"

"Lee, maybe he needs to be changed." Suggested Tenten.

"Nonsense!" said Lee. "We JUST checked!"

"Does he have a pacifier?" asked Tenten.

"Those ruin your teeth." Said Lee. "I won't allow it!"

"He doesn't have any teeth yet." Said Tenten.

"I can't wait until his teeth grow in." said Lee. "I want to see their natural sparkle!"

"Lil Lee didn't have a natural sparkle." Tenten reminded him.

"Yeah but…" said Lee, lowering his voice. "Lil Lee was a freak."

Anyone who may have overheard that statement raised an eyebrow at Lee.

"Oh Cho, would you honor me with a waltz?" Shika said, standing up.

"I thought you'd never ask!" said Cho, acting like he was going to faint as he took Shika's hand and the two of them waltzed their way out onto the dance floor.

"If I were only a few years younger then I'd be out there shaking my booty like there was no tomorrow!" said Gai. "Lee, dance with your wife! Lil Gai, find some wonderful Inuzuka girl who wishes to be your mate!"

"YES GAI!!" screamed Lil Gai as he jumped up and punched the air.

"But what about the baby?" Lee asked.

"I'LL take Lee Three!" said Gai.

"I have to warn you though…" Lee said. "NOTHING will get him to stop crying. Nothing at all."

He handed Kikei to Gai.

Almost immediately, Kikei stopped crying and started to… laugh?

And, as immediately as it had happened, Lil Lee came over.

"Is my baby sick?" he asked. "He's making strange noises."

"That is LAUGHTER, my son!!" said Lee.

"I know." Said Lil Lee, looking annoyed.

"What a delightfully youthful child!" exclaimed Gai.

"He…likes you?" Lil Lee wondered.

"Of course!" said Gai. "With youth like mine, how could one not?!"

Then there was a pause.

"I fear my frail bones can no longer hold his weight." Said Gai. "Take him!"

"No way!" said Lil Lee.

"My arms!" Gai wailed. "They ache!!"

"Put him in his baby carrier!" Lee announced as he pulled it out from under the table. Gai dropped Kikei in the carrier as if he was relieving himself of some huge burden. Then they faced the carrier at Gai and Kikei looked as though he'd never be sad again.

"What a brilliant child!" Gai marveled.

"If only he loved me the same!" Lee cried.

"Perhaps he does." Said Gai. "Perhaps he is merely sick of you."

"Such a tragedy!" Lee cried as waterfall tears fell from his eyes.

"HELLO BABY!!" Gai yelled loudly and frighteningly as he got all in Kikei's face like some hideous blob. Kikei merely laughed.

"Amaaaazing…" said Lee. "Let me try!"

"Of course!" said Gai. "He is YOUR gorgeous grandson."

"HI BABY!!" Lee yelled, imitating Gai. Kikei continued laughing until he could no longer breathe. "He likes me too!"

"He likes your youth!" said Gai. "It's because we SHARE it, the three of us."

"And Lil Gai." Reminded Lee.

"Of COURSE Lil Gai!" said Gai. "Lil Lee, your raised your son with such YOUTH! How did you do it?"

Lil Lee put a hand on his head and felt like he was going to pass out unless he got as far away from these people as he could.


	34. Have you met my child Sasuke Two?

Meanwhile, Inoshi was sitting there silently. He didn't bring his computer because that would be ever so rude so now he was going to have to sit there alone for the rest of time… or at least for the rest of the party.

"All right, Sakura!" said Naruto after Ino and Sasuke had left to go and party-harty. "We can't be the ONLY ones not dancing!"

"But we don't match…" whined Sakura. "We'll look stupid!"

"No one CARES!" Naruto moaned.

"_I _care!" Sakura yelled. But, after much complaining and shameless begging, Naruto finally convinced Sakura to come on the dance floor with him.

That left Inoshi at the table ALONE! Well, Uncle Shikamaru was there too. So that meant he was practically alone.

"Tell me, Inoshi." Shikamaru said. "Why did you quit being a ninja?"

"Um…" Inoshi said, a little taken aback by the randomness of the question.

"Was it too troublesome for you?" Shikamaru asked.

"No…it was just…" Inoshi started. "I wasn't very good at it. And I didn't like the thought of killing people and going on dangerous missions for a living."

"So what motivates one to pick up a flute after being a ninja?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well…I tried the violin first…" Inoshi admitted. "But the strings cut into my fingers and made them bleed."

Shikamaru shook his head in disbelief. He wasn't making fun of the boy, he just felt sorry for him.

"This party is kind of boring." Said Kakashi. "I have no connection to Kiba and Hinata and frankly, there are WAY too many Inuzukas and dogs around for comfort."

"At least you're not allergic to dogs." Said Kurenai.

"What if I am?" Kakashi asked.

"Are you?" asked Kurenai.

"No." said Kakashi. "I never said I was. I was just asking you what would happen in the event that I was."

Kurenai shrugged and decided to talk to Asuma on the other side of her.

"You'd think Shikamaru would have dropped it by now." Said Asuma as he sobbed into his hands. "Five years! It's been FIVE YEARS!!"

He gestured to the empty chair next to him that he and Chouji sandwiched.

"He could be sitting there." Said Asuma. "It's open."

"Yes." Said Chouji wiping a tear from his eye.

Suddenly, someone sat down in the chair. Someone who NO ONE was EVER expecting to sit down in the chair in a million years.

No, it wasn't Shikamaru…

Somewhere, over on the other side of the room, Sasuke's spidey senses were tingling. He began looking around casually with his eyes. Then, his head kicked in and that was searching too.

"What's wrong, Sasuke?" Ino asked.

"I'm not sure…" said Sasuke. But he KNEW that there was a disturbance in the force.

He made his way over to where Asuma and Chouji were sitting because that's where the disturbance was originally felt. The two of them looked uneasily up at him.

"Um…Sasuke…" started Asuma. Sasuke looked at the chair in between them which was now empty.

"Hm…" said Sasuke rubbing his chin curiously.

"You might want to go over and talk to your son." Said Chouji motioning over toward Senjou who was talking to someone hidden behind a random Inuzuka. Sasuke nodded and headed over toward his son.

"I can't quite put my finger on it!" said Senjou with a laugh. "But you look really familiar!"

"Keep thinking…" said the person.

"Hm…" thought Senjou. Then he saw Sasuke approaching. "Oh! Hi dad!"

Senjou paused as he saw the aura or anger forming around his father getting thicker and thicker and angrier and angrier and eviler and eviler.

"Senjou…" Sasuke managed to spit out while pointing his finger. "You…over there…now…"

"Okay…" said Senjou as he walked away like a sad little puppy.

"That was one of your sons, Sasuke." Said the person, still not facing Sasuke. "I could tell."

Sasuke still couldn't muster up any words because of his blind rage as the person turned around.

"Nice to see you, little brother." Said the person.

"I…I…ITACHI!!" Sasuke practically bellowed.

Ino suddenly rushed over and grabbed Itachi and began leading him away from Sasuke.

"No no no no…" she said. "You're supposed to be dead! You shouldn't be here!"

"Are you his mate?" Itachi asked, as if everything was all good.

"Things were at their most normal and now we're going to have to start over…" Ino continued, ignoring Itachi yet still escorting him to the door. Itachi turned around and wedged himself free of Ino.

"I'd rather stay at the party." He said wistfully as he began walking away. Ino decided that she'd rather deal with Sasuke anyway so she went over to where he was practically standing there dumbfounded.

"Just ignore him…" said Ino as she hugged Sasuke and tried to comfort him like a mother would do to a child. "He'll leave soon."

"Killed the clan…" Sasuke muttered.

Itachi, meanwhile was wandering around looking for someone who resembled Sasuke as much as Senjou did.

"Oh!" said some random Inuzuka as he handed Little Sasuke to Itachi. "You're the grandfather, right? You smell about right."

"Is this my brother's grandson?" Itachi asked as he took the baby. He examined him carefully and then made his way over to Sasuke. "Brother, this is unacceptable. Are you trying to dilute the Uchiha blood as much as possible or something?"

"What?" asked Sasuke.

"His hair is light brown?" Itachi asked as he took little Sasuke's hat off. "And what are these things on his face? And these EYES? They look like Hyuuga eyes!"

"Give me my grandson!!" Sasuke yelled as he harshly grabbed Little Sasuke from Itachi's hands.

"Now, now, Sasuke." Said Itachi. "There's no reason to be upset."

"What do you mean?!" Sasuke demanded. "Of course there's reason to be upset! You killed our whole clan and I've been under the impression for the past thirty years that YOU were dead too!"

Itachi laughed. "I wasn't talking to YOU!" said Itachi. "I was talking to this Sasuke. Have you met my child; Sasuke Two?"

A mini version of Itachi then stepped out from behind Itachi.

"Hi!" said the child who was probably about twelve or thirteen.

"You…named your child Sasuke?" said Sasuke with an evil vengeful glare.

"And I can ONLY assume that you named one of YOUR many children after me! After all, we ARE brothers!" Itachi declared.

"Oh!" said Senjou as he walked over. "No wonder he looked familiar! You guys are brothers? I never knew I had an uncle!"

Itachi gasped. "Brother!" he said. "You never told him about me?!"

"Senjou, this man is manifested from pure evil!" Sasuke yelled as he tried to push his innocent son to safety. "You will NOT be associated with him!"

"Sasuke Two, would you like to go and socialize now?" Itachi asked his child.

"Okay!" said Sasuke Two, frolicking off.

As Itachi and Sasuke were left there to catch up on OLD TIMES *cough cough*, Sasuke Two decided to look around for someone who was the same age.

"You should ask that really hot Inuzuka guy to dance!!" Kajitsu exclaimed to Hana NOT quietly.

"Stop, no!" said Hana. "I'm too embarrassed!"

"He won't turn you down!" said Moujo. "You're practically famous! I mean, you're an Uchiha!"

Sasuke Two poked up and invaded the conversation. "Hi!" he said.

The girls looked at him awkwardly.

"You're an Uchiha?" Sasuke Two asked.

"Yeah…" said Hana slowly.

"Me too!" said Sasuke Two.

"No…" Hana said slowly. "I know for a fact that my father was the only Uchiha in the world before he had us."

"Maybe your family's not as hot as you thought." Kajitsu said with a shrug.

"Your father and my father are brothers." Sasuke Two told Hana. Then he pulled Hana close to him. "Can't you see the resemblance?"

"Yeah…" sighed Moujo because she had obviously fallen in love with another Uchiha.

"No." said Kajitsu. "Hana, you're WAY uglier."

"How come you're not in the magazine?" Moujo asked, tearing the magazine out of Jijo's hands and waving it in the air. Jijo had taken it away because Moujo was starting to drool all over it.

Sasuke Two took the magazine and flipped through it.

"Most eligible bachelors in Konoha?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Moujo replied.

"Why am I not in this?" he continued.

"Yeah?" Moujo led.

"For obviously reasons." Sasuke Two finished.

"What?" Moujo asked. "What do you mean?"

"Why are YOU not in this?" Sasuke Two asked, pointing to Moujo.

"Huh?" Moujo asked, blinking slightly. "Me? Be in that magazine?"

Suddenly, there was a huge mushroom cloud explosion and just when everyone thought it would surely be the death of them, they looked over to see that the explosion was just Sasuke's angry aura.


	35. Hakuna Matata

The only people who had truly realized that Itachi was there was Ino and Sasuke. And Senjou I suppose but he doesn't count. Everyone else had SEEN him but they all assumed him to be dead and didn't think to associate him with Sasuke. Plus, they probably all didn't know or forgot what Itachi even looked like.

"Sasuke, calm down." Ino said as she massaged Sasuke's shoulders. "I'm sure we can talk about this and come to an agreement."

"How can we come to an agreement?!" demanded Sasuke. "Do you have any idea how much ANGST this man caused me?!"

"YES!" yelled everyone.

"Sasuke… that was definitely more than forty years ago." Said Itachi as if it didn't matter. "You have to let go of the hate."

"HEY!!" yelled Kiba as he stomped over with Hinata. "What's going on over here?! Who are you?!"

"Uchiha Itachi." Said Itachi proudly.

"Oh." Said Kiba. "I didn't invite YOU to my anniversary."

"Au contraire." Said Itachi, putting a finger up. "You invited 'the Uchihas' which means I am invited since I am an Uchiha."

Kiba thought about that for a moment. "Well, that makes sense." He said finally.

"No!" yelled Sasuke. "Kiba! This is… brother! Kill! Clan!! ITACHI!"

"Sasuke, I don't understand your incoherent blather." Said Kiba, actually looking quite distraught that he couldn't do anything to help the poor man.

"Kiba, I think what he's trying to say is that this is the infamous Uchiha Itachi and he tried to kill him thirty years ago and thought he succeeded but just realized that he obviously didn't." Hinata said.

"Wow!" said Kiba. "You got all that from what Sasuke just said?"

"It's obvious." Hinata said. "I mean, what else would he be saying?"

"Sasuke, I just want to tell you that I've gotten over my murderous tendencies and have turned over a new leaf." Itachi explained.

"Well that's good." Kiba said with a chuckle. "I wouldn't want people getting murdered on my anniversary."

"Someone like you can't turn over a new leaf!" Sasuke said.

"But I have, dear brother." Itachi said, calmly. Quite the opposite of how Sasuke was acting.

Meanwhile…

"What's your dad freaking out about this time?" Pansuke asked Sasuke Jr. who was wiping the condensation off his water glass with a napkin.

"Hm?" Sasuke Jr. said, looking up. "I hadn't noticed."

"He's causing quite a scene." Pansuke noted. Sasuke Jr. turned his head just as Senjou walked over.

"Do you know what's gotten dad so worked up?" Sasuke Jr. asked. Senjou shrugged.

"Apparently, there is a man over there that manifested from pure evil and I should not be associated with him." Senjou explained.

"Really now…" Tashoku said, standing up to get a better view.

"He claims to be dad's brother." Senjou continued. "Does that mean we have an uncle that no one ever told us about?"

"Dad's brother?" Sasuke Jr. said, standing up. "You mean Itachi?"

"You know about him?" Senjou asked but Sasuke Jr. walked over to the ruckus.

"Hey dad, what's going on?" Sasuke Jr. asked, approaching his crazy dadoo.

"Sasuke…" Sasuke said, handing Little Sasuke to Sasuke Jr. "Evacuate the family. I'm putting you in charge so make sure everyone is safe."

"Is this really necessary, brother?" Itachi asked, sounding hurt.

"I thought you said your brother was dead." Sasuke Jr. said in a confused tone.

"He is!" Sasuke said. "No need to worry! It's just a drill! Now hurry!"

"Sasuke…I really don't think you should have married a blonde." Itachi sighed.

"Hey!" Ino said but that was really the least of her concerns.

"You had a black haired kid here earlier. That's the way an Uchiha should be!" Itachi continued.

"I HARDLY think it's your place to lecture me about family!" Sasuke said. "After all, you killed yours!"

"You just can't drop it Sasuke." Itachi said, frowning. "It's in the past."

"It's still there!" Sasuke yelled.

"You gotta put the past behind you." Itachi said. "Hakuna Matata."

Sasuke turned about five shades of red just then and looked as though he would surely burst.

"Round up all of your family, Sasuke!" Itachi said.

"Why?!" Sasuke yelled, his tone rising. "So you can kill them like you killed all the other Uchihas?!"

"Oh my no!" Itachi laughed.

"Dad, calm down." Sasuke Jr. said, pulling on Sasuke's arm. "We'll just go over here for a minute."

"I just want to MEET them!" said Itachi. "I introduced you to Sasuke Two! You should AT LEAST introduce me to your children!"

"Sasuke Two?" said everyone.

"Yes?" said Sasuke Two, coming out of nowhere.

"Ah, here's the wonderful little sunspot." Said Itachi.

"Dad, Sasuke Two claims to be an Uchiha." Said Hana.

"Sasuke Two IS an Uchiha." Said Sasuke.

"All right!" said Itachi. "I think we should gather everyone around so I only have to explain this once!"

Everyone got in a circle around Itachi.

"Ahem." He said, clearing his throat. "When Sasuke killed me—" He winked at Ino who winced. "—I didn't REALLY die. I was only pretending so that he'd leave and be able to live a happy life since, by then, I had decided not to be evil anymore! But I knew Sasuke would never listen to reason and he'd also be SO much happier if he just thought that his life long goal was finally accomplished!"

"So why did you come back?!" demanded Sasuke.

"I just couldn't bear to be away from you any longer, Little Brother!" said Itachi. "I figured that since we were both big boys, we'd be able to handle the situation but OBVIOUSLY I was wrong!"

"OBVIOUSLY!" yelled Sasuke.

"Sasuke, hear him out." Said Ino.

"HEAR HIM OUT?!" yelled Sasuke.

Ino rolled her eyes and barely kept herself from Judo chopping him.

"And it seems that my progeny, Sasuke Two, has already made friends with your daughters!" Itachi announced, gesturing towards Sasuke Two who was sitting near Kajitsu, Hana and Moujo.

Moujo scooted over closer to Sasuke Two who looked at her strangely and quickly scooted away.

"So I think that we should ALL just put the past behind us and party-harty!" Itachi said as he started shaking his booty to the music that wasn't playing.

Ino leaned over to Sasuke. "You know, Sasuke," she whispered. "In my opinion, Itachi seems a little senile and I doubt he's been keeping up with his training. I don't think it would be that hard to kill him, especially if we all worked together."

"I know." Said Sasuke, looking angry. "It's just shameful for me to kill someone so mentally ill, especially if he's supposedly turned over a new leaf and has a son…even if it IS Itachi."

"So whaddaya think?!" said Itachi enthusiastically. "Will you introduce me to the new Uchiha clan?!"

Sasuke only glared.

Ino nudged him.

Through clenched teeth, he muttered, "Sasuke, Inoshi, Senjou, Shika, Cho and Hana." He pointed to each one individually, and then got to Little Sasuke. "And Sasuke."

"Now THAT wasn't so hard, was it?" said Itachi with a happy sigh.

"Yes it was." Sasuke said angrily.

"Hey!" yelled Kiba. "I REFUSE to allow any more time to be taken up with this crazy Uchiha thing! This is MY anniversary and I say that we officially are going BACK to partying!"

"HERE HERE!!!" cheered all the Inuzukas that didn't even know what was going on.

The DJ revved up the music and everyone started dancing again.


	36. Itachi always has to ruin everything!

"So…are you a ninja?" Moujo asked Sasuke Two with dreamy eyes.

"Not really." Sasuke Two answered. "My dad never really stressed any importance on being a ninja. I sorta only finished a few years at the academy so I know basic stuff."

"Oh." Said Moujo with another sigh.

"Moujo, move over!" said Kajitsu as she pushed Moujo out of the way and got all in Sasuke Two's face. "My name's Kajitsu." She said.

"I'm Sasuke Two, but you guys can just call me Sasuke." Sasuke Two said.

"I know." Said Kajitsu.

Hana gave a heavy sigh. She was a little upset that ALL the good-looking guys in the world had to be Uchihas. Well, at least that hawt Inuzuka wasn't. Speaking of him… where is he? Hana decided to leave everyone to swoon over her cousin as she began her quest for the hawt Inuzuka. Wherever he may be.

"So let me get this straight…" Shika said to Itachi who sat in between him and Cho. "YOU are the Itachi who killed the entire clan?"

"The very same!" Itachi said as if it were something to be proud of.

"The one from the stories and the pictures?" Cho asked.

"What stories and pictures?" Senjou asked. Shika and Cho looked over at Senjou who was sitting there. Was he still not supposed to know about Itachi even though Itachi was sitting right there?

"Nothing Senjou." Cho lied. "One day while you were at the academy, dad showed us some pictures but only because we found them."

"So you only heard about Itachi once?" Inoshi asked since he was sitting there too. Every Uchiha male (with the exception of the real Sasuke) was sitting there with Itachi. Shika and Cho looked at Inoshi.

"Ix-nay on Achi-Itay." Shika said.

"Come on, guys…" Senjou said with a sigh. "He's sitting right there. I'm not stupid."

"Yeah." Inoshi said. "It's not like he's nine anymore."

"Inoshi, shut up." Sasuke Jr. said.

Inoshi flinched and obeyed.

"So how come I'm not supposed to know?" Senjou asked.

His brothers only kind of just… looked at him.

"So how come I'm not supposed to know?" Senjou repeated, a little worried that he was going crazy and had accidentally said it in his head the first time around.

"Senjou," came a voice from above. Everyone looked up to see Kakashi standing there.

"Oh, hello Captain Kakashi." Said Senjou.

The Uchiha brothers slapped their foreheads.

"Would you like to hear a story of many years passed?" Kakashi asked, pulling up an empty seat and trying to maneuver himself in between Inoshi and Senjou since they were sitting next to each other and all. Inoshi passively moved his chair over to make room for Kakashi.

"Is it a pirate story?" Senjou asked.

"It is." Kakashi answered.

"Then YEAH!" said Senjou excitedly.

The other Uchiha boys didn't know whether to be happy or irritated with Kakashi's intervention.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was festering in his seat.

"Maybe I DON'T care about killing a senile old man…" Sasuke said, gripping the table so hard that it came close to breaking.

"Face it, Sasuke, you are further away from being a ninja from when that FIRST time you tried to kill Itachi." Said Naruto. "Do you remember that?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"We don't need that right now, Naruto." Said Sakura with a frown.

"HEY!" said Lee, coming out of nowhere with Tenten at his side. "Have you all heard the news?!"

"Of course we have!" said Ino. "How could you have NOT heard?!"

"You mean everyone knew except for us?" Tenten said, looking said.

"You didn't notice it?" said Sakura.

"Well…it would have helped if someone TOLD us." Sighed Lee. "I wish I was more observant."

"He gathered up everyone and told them all." Said Sasuke. "Are you telling me that you missed that?"

"I don't know!" said Tenten. "Were we in the bathroom or something?"

"I think it was something he should have told us PERSONALLY!" said Lee. "You know, sat down with just the two of us, and maybe Lil Gai too, and got it all out in the open! I don't think he had to tell all YOU guys before US! I mean, it's not like you all care!"

"Lee, what the hell are you talking about?" said Naruto.

"Aikan and Lil Lee are no longer married!!" wailed Lee. "Weren't we talking about that?!"

Everyone stared at Lee and Tenten as if maybe they were joking.

"No." said Sasuke finally. "We were talking about the fact that Itachi has suddenly made himself known."

"Oh." Said Lee. "Well, I saw THAT. I was talking about Lil Lee."

"Don't you think we should tell Gai?" said Tenten, looking concerned.

"He will be so upset!" said Lee. The two of them started comforting each other as they went off to find Gai.

Everyone else looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"I hate how Itachi came and ruined such a joyous occasion!" Kiba said, sitting down at his multi-colored place setting and sighing loudly. "Itachi always has to ruin everything!"

"Always, Kiba?" Hinata asked, as she comforted him by giving his back and neck a good rub. That always soothed him and made him feel better.

"Well…" Kiba said, pausing to enjoy his royal treatment. "Not everything. But he's certainly making a mess of tonight."

"I don't think he made a mess of tonight." Hinata said. "Sure things are a little shaken up right now but so far, I've had a great time and I bet it'll only get better!"

"You know something, Hinata…" Kiba said. "You're right! What am I being such a downer about?"

Hinata shrugged.

"The music's still playing, Hinata!" Kiba shouted. "Let's dance!"

"Okay!" Hinata said as Kiba pulled her over to the dance floor.

Meanwhile…

"You know what, guys…" Tashoku said, sitting down with Kobiru, Pansuke, Aikan and Lil Lee. "I've been pretty silent this whole time, hoping that this would all work out right in the end. But obviously I was wrong and now it's time to intervene."

"That took long enough!" said Lil Lee angrily.

"You two are married with a baby on the way." Said Tashoku, pointing at Pansuke and Kobiru. "And you two HAVE a baby and never technically got divorced."

EVERYONE was just about to respond to that when suddenly, THE MACARENA STARTED PLAYING!!!!!

"Dad!!" yelled Hichou, running over to Neji who was just sitting there trying to get lost. When he realized that Hichou had found where he was… and quite easily at that, he figured there was no use hiding from him.

"Yes Hichou?" he said as Hichou started bouncing in place.

"It's the Macarena!!" Hichou exclaimed.

"Yes, Hichou, I am fully aware of that." Neji said, rolling his eyes.

"Come on!!" yelled Hichou. "Dance to the Macarena with me!"

Neji didn't feel like he had to respond to that and just when Hichou decided to take matters into his OWN hands by grabbing Neji and trying to pull him up out of his seat, Sakura frolicked over. Yes. Sakura did.

"Neji, what happened to your daughter?" she asked. "Shino's two younger daughters have just been sitting over there alone for the longest time looking so bored and I know they're about the same age as your daughter…"

"Her mother picked her up earlier." Neji replied.

"You mean your wife?" Sakura asked even though she didn't really care all that much about Neji's wife. "You should have introduced her around!"

"No." said Neji. "Hiyoko isn't ACTUALLY my daughter. I just brought her along and said she was my daughter."

Sakura stared at Neji long and hard. "Wait, are you being serious?" she asked finally.

"Yes." Neji said. "At the last reunion, all you guys did was give me crap about not having a daughter so I figured I'd avoid that by just borrowing a young girl for the vacation but, as it turns out, her mother needed to pick her up early. I didn't figure anyone would notice her absence."

Sakura was about to voice how weird she thought that to be, but then she decided just to let it go. After all, this is NEJI. He didn't have the most NORMAL childhood.

Meanwhile, Moujo, Kajitsu and Sasuke Two were sort of wandering around as a threesome.

"Hey, where'd Hana go?" Sasuke Two asked randomly.

"I don't know." Said Kajitsu immediately. "But who cares?"

"Well, she is my cousin." Sasuke Two said with a shrug.

"All the more reason to forget about her!" said Kajitsu.

"I don't know about YOU two, but I want to dance!" said Moujo. "I LOVE the Macarena!"

"Sure!" said Kajitsu. "Sasuke, do you want to do the Macarena next to me?"

"Um…okay…" said Sasuke Two hesitantly.

"I'll be on this side!" Moujo said, running over to the other side of Sasuke Two and linking arms with him.

Sasuke Two looked down at their interlocked arms and, although he felt very uncomfortable, didn't want to make Moujo feel stupid. After all, Moujo was an Aburame, and maybe Aburames did crazy things like this all the time.


	37. Do I have to fight? This is ridiculous!

Meanwhile Shikamaru was trying to escape from the wrath that is the combined forces of Asuma and Chouji. Somehow, he had ended up at the doorway and he decided that maybe he would step out for a good smoke. Except he doesn't smoke so he decided that he would merely step out and NOT enjoy a good smoke.

As he walked over to the door and opened it up, it suddenly swung open and a horde of ninja piled into the room.

"All right, nobody move!" yelled the ninja who was definitely the one in charge because he was wearing a crown and had a big letter on his outfit. It was the letter "B" and it was all jaggedy like lightning. Then he turned to Shikamaru. "You made our job very easy, Mr. Hokage."

"Oh hell no." Shikamaru said as he tried to skirt away but the guy pinned him up against the wall. "What is it THIS time?"

"You know what it is." Said Head Ninja. "Only the Hokage knows of the information we seek."

"Then why don't you ask HIM?" Shikamaru asked, failing miserably in his attempt to escape.

"Many reasons." Said Head Ninja. "But most obviously, he's surrounded by hundreds of body guards while you're partying the night away. Plus, you're old and out of shape while he's in peak condition."

Because just about everyone in the room is/was a ninja, their ninja senses began tingling. Also, the fact that there were hundreds of bad ninjas in the room gave it away for the people with less honed ninja senses.

"SHIKAMARU!" Chouji yelled as he barreled over toward Shikamaru, knocking into Head Ninja and catching Shikamaru lovingly in his arms. "Don't worry, Shikamaru. I'll protect you."

"No!" came a voice as Asuma came sliding down a rope, taking Shikamaru from Chouji. "I will! You fight the ninjas!"

"But I just saved him!"

"Well, I'm taking him out of harm's way so you can finish the job!" Asuma retorted. Shikamaru climbed out of Asuma's arms and slinked away quietly.

However Head Ninja is a very persistent fellow. So if he can't get the Hokage and he can't get the retired Hokage, he'll get the next best thing.

"Dad!" came Shikataro's voice as Head Ninja swooped over toward him and put him in a sack.

"How troublesome." Said Shikamaru as he was just going to go over to save his beloved son but someone put their arm in front of him. "Ino?"

"Shikamaru, you've been retired for too long!" said Ino. "Let someone else take care of this!"

She turned behind her and all six of her children were behind her.

"Let's go, boys!" she said.

"Mom!" Hana whined. "I told you not to say that!"

"I'm not a ninja anymore, mom." Inoshi pointed out, his knees shaking.

"In THIS outfit?!" Shika said, appalled.

"We have to at LEAST change into our stylish battle uniforms!" Cho said.

"Where's dad, anyway?" Sasuke Jr. wondered out loud.

"Fight with the babies?!" Senjou demanded. Everyone turned around to see that he was holding Kikei and Little Sasuke.

"Okay…" said Ino, looking around for someone ELSE to back her up only to find that a majority of the people who are ninjas were already fighting.

"Dad, let's fight TOGETHER!!" said Lil Gai enthusiastically.

"Yes!" said Lee, standing up. "Gai, won't you join in as well?!"

"ABSOLUTELY!!!" screamed Gai as he went to stand up but only ended up hurting his back, causing too much blood to rush to his head and then proceeded to pass out.

"GAI!!!!" HOLL-ered Lil Gai and Lee as they caressed their fallen senior mentor.

"Hey!" said Tenten, standing up and slamming her hands down on the table to get her family members' attention as a few ninjas dropped from the ceiling. "Are you two going to protect me or should I go ask Neji's son to do it for me?!"

"NO!!" Lee yelled at the top of his lungs, caring a lot more than he should have. He looked over at Neji who was just standing idly by and being perfectly protected by his crazy in the zone chuunin who should be a jounin son. With that, Lee grabbed Lil Gai by his collar and threw him to his feet. "I COMMAND you to protect us better than Neji's son!!" he yelled, running over to Tenten and pretending to be helpless.

"Dad!" whined Lil Gai.

"Lee!" said Tenten angrily.

Lee was distracted because he was searching around for Lil Lee so he could force him to come over and protect him as well. "LIL LEE!!!" he yelled.

"What?" Lil Lee said, coming up behind him.

"Lil Lee, you must protect us with your brother." Said Lee. "AND TAKE OFF YOUR WEIGHTS!!!!!"

"Dad, you can protect YOURSELF." Said Lil Lee.

"No, I need you to protect me!" Lee commanded, observing Neji who had taken out his copy of Inoshi's novel to read, having absolutely no concern for his own well being whatsoever.

"LEE!!" shouted Kobiru as she sprinted over and pretended to trip. Normally, Lil Lee probably would have just let her fall, but since she was horribly pregnant, he didn't want anything terrible to happen to the poor baby who would have to suffer enough just because it would be born to a mother like Kobiru and a father like Pansuke. "PROTECT ME!!!"

"No!" said Lil Lee in a very commanding fashion as he pushed her away.

"WHY did you even catch her?!" demanded Lee.

"Because she's HORRIBLY pregnant and it's bad enough that the kid has to be born to Kobiru and Pansuke so it doesn't need to be messed up too!" Lil Lee answered.

"AHEM!!!!!!" yelled all the insane ninjas.

"Oh right!" laughed the entire Rock Family. And Kobiru.

With that, they started fighting back.

"I can't believe this!!" Kiba yelled, stomping his foot angrily as people fought around him. "These stupid random ninjas are RUINING my anniversary!! I'm sorry Hinata. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I don't blame you Kiba." Said Hinata as she ducked her head just in time before a ninja being thrown through the air bowled her over.

"Pansuke!" Naruto yelled to his son as they both fought the ninjas. It had been him that threw the ninja toward Hinata. Of course, it was accidental and it's not like Naruto was trying to barrel Hinata over or anything. "If you save the former Hokage's son, you're SURE to be promoted to jounin rank!"

"Don't lie to him, Naruto!" Sakura yelled, ducking and covering underneath the table. She's not a ninja now, she was never a ninja.

"I'm not lying!" Naruto fought back, bending over to see her under the table. "I bet I could even be promoted to Hokage!"

"Hana!" Sasuke yelled as he chased after Hana. "Ino! What do you think you're doing?!"

"Sasuke, in case you missed it, that guy up there has Shikamaru's son in a sack and who knows what he's going to do to him!" Ino said as she pointed up to Head Ninja.

"Yeah, I know that." Sasuke said as he reached over to a torn portion of her dress and trying to fix it with no avail. "But this dress was very expensive. I'll fight instead."

"Sasuke, shut up." Said Ino.

"No I'm serious!" Sasuke said, getting all passionate. "I wasn't the number one rookie of my year for nothing!"

"Neji was the number one rookie of his year but he's not fighting." Said Ino, pointing over at Neji. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Neji doesn't count." He said. He turned around, getting into the best battle pose he could, mustering up his Sharingan with all his might.

"Oh so you DID master the Sharingan, younger brother!" Itachi said, coming out of nowhere. "I was very disappointed when I saw that you had an under developed one last time we met!"

Sasuke's face turned red as smoke started flowing from his ears. There was a distinct sound of a teakettle going off but before he could say anything else, Ino came from behind and judo chopped him into the Land of Unconsciousness.

"I didn't want to have to do it this time." She said with a sigh.

Suddenly, Ino was almost barreled over by her son, Inoshi.

"Mom!" Inoshi said, stumbling to stand up. "Do I have to fight? This is ridiculous!" He pointed over to the ninja who had defeated him and that particular ninja was a midget and was missing an arm.

"Inoshi, please don't tell me…" Ino started but she observed her third son, the leader of ANBU climbing under the table with Sakura as he held the two babies in his hand. "UCHIHA SENJOU, GET OUT HERE!"

"Mom!" he yelled back. "I need to watch the babies!"

"Let Inoshi do it!" Ino said.

"Inoshi's fighting!" Senjou called back. "Don't worry! I've got it under control, I'm old enough to watch them!"

"That's not the point, Senjou!" Ino said as she walked over to Senjou, dragging Sasuke and leaving Inoshi to defend himself against the horrible midget ninja cripple.

"Mom, SOMEONE has to watch the babies." Said Senjou. "And Sasuke and Lee are both fighting the ninjas so I have to take care of them."

"No, Senjou." Said Ino as she dropped Sasuke, grabbed Inoshi and pulled him over. "INOSHI will watch the babies. You will fight the midget ninja cripple."

"Oh thank you." Said Inoshi with a deep sigh.

"I think the babies would be safer if I watched them." Senjou said. "No offense to you or anything, Inoshi… but you couldn't defeat the midget ninja cripple."

"Senjou, don't make me raise my voice." Said Ino.

"What if the ninja cripple comes over and attacks Inoshi while he's holding both the babies?" Senjou asked hypothetically.

"That's why I want you to go out there and defeat the ninja cripple." Ino pointed out.

"But what about the REST of the ninjas?" Senjou said.

"Yeah, beat them too!" Ino said, getting frustrated.

"I CAN'T!" Senjou said woefully.

Just then, Shino walked over and officially made everyone uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." Shino said. "I didn't mean to come over HERE. Somehow I got distracted on my way over to Kiba."

"Okay…" said Inoshi, Ino and Senjou.

Shino stood there for a second in silence, and then decided that he wasn't wanted. So he completed his journey over to Kiba.

"Kiba, have you seen any of my daughters?" he asked.

"No." said Kiba. "Why ask ME?! I've been over here childishly whining ever since this ninjas got here!"

"You're the only one who will listen to me." Shino said.

"That's not true, Shino!" said Kiba. "EVERYBODY loves you!"

Shino only glared at Kiba.

"Well, my anniversary is a DISASTER!" Kiba announced.

"Let's not make this conversation about YOU." Shino said.

"I WASN'T!!" Kiba yelled. Then he buried his face in his hands and started to cry. "I'M A BAD BEST FRIEND!!"

Shino rolled his eyes, and decided maybe he'd go back to that Uchiha threesome, no matter how uncomfortable he made them.

"Uh…" said Ino, Inoshi and Senjou as they stopped their circular conversation once again.

"Don't mind me." Shino said.

"Shino, how come you're not fighting?" Ino demanded.

"I'm looking for my daughters." Shino answered.

"I'LL find them!" Senjou offered as he went to march off but Ino grabbed him and pulled him back over. "Mom, Shino can't find his daughters. Someone has to find them!"

"That someone can be Shino!" said Ino. "Or… Inoshi! Or Sasuke if he wakes up!"

"But what if his daughters are being attacked by someone?!" Senjou said. "What'll Inoshi do THEN?"

"Senjou, if you get out there and fight then ninjas then they'll probably all be gone by the time Inoshi FINDS Shino's daughters!" Ino said.

"I don't need Senjou to find my daughters." Shino said, but he was ignored.

"Do you really doubt Inoshi's finding skills that much?" Senjou said with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I'm just saying-"

"BESIDES!" Senjou interrupted. "I can't fight ANYWAY, because I'm holding the babies!"

"Senjou, I'LL hold the babies!" Ino said.

"Well you should have said that BEFORE!" said Senjou with almost a laugh as he handed the two babies over. "Off I go!"

"Finally." Ino sighed as she watched Senjou run off. Then she turned to Inoshi and dropped the babies on him. She was ABOUT to start fighting the ninjas, but after a quick look around she realized that there were plenty of strapping young ninjas to do the job FOR her.

Inoshi looked around foolishly for a few seconds before catching sight of Neji who was gesturing for him to come over and join him in his little bubble. And he did just that. YAY!


	38. My son is STILL over there in the sack

Meanwhile, Lil Lee insisted on having a learning experience for his students. Or maybe it wasn't a learning experience, it was just a way of utilizing them in the best way possible in a stressful situation.

"Okay, so you both understand what we're doing?" said Lil Lee as about eight evil ninjas ran over and got all ready to attack them.

"Right!" said Kajitsu and Hana as they got in their battle positions.

"And I'll back you up!" said Lil Lee as he went to take a step forward but slipped on some chocolate mousse. On his way down, he hit is head on a table before falling to the floor.

Hana and Kajitsu looked at each other, then at Lil Lee, back at each other, waited for Lil Lee to get up, and when he didn't, they both panicked. "What now?!" Hana yelled.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" yelled Kajitsu.

And, of course, Hana used the fire moves that never worked.

Since the plan had sort of been shot to dust, Hana and Kajitsu weren't too well off. Just when the evil ninjas were about to take them down, Shika and Cho jumped out in front with their shiny weapons shining.

"Fear us!!" yelled Shika.

"For we are…" started Cho.

"THE STYLISH DUO OF KONOHA!!" they both yelled as they posed dramatically.

"Sorry it took so long!" said Shika as he adjusted his collar.

"We had to change into our stylish battle uniforms." Cho explained.

"Don't let their gayness offend you!" said one of the ninjas. "Get them!"

And the battle commenced.

Moujo was observing from under a table and, although she was not a rabid Shika and Cho fan, she wasn't about to pass up an opportunity of taking pictures of them in action.

She turned to Sasuke Two who was just sitting there like a knave.

"Are you going to fight at all?" she asked.

"No." Sasuke Two answered. "Didn't I already tell you that I wasn't really a ninja? At all?"

"Oh yeah…" Moujo said. "I think you SHOULD be a ninja."

"Aren't you a ninja?" Sasuke Two asked, raising an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be fighting?"

"Uh…yeah…I guess…" Moujo admitted. "But I think I'll just get in the way…"

"Probably." Said Jijo.

"Definitely." Agreed Sanjo.

"Shut up!" said Moujo to her younger sisters.

Just then, Tashoku poked her head underneath. "Have you guys seen Sasuke anywhere?!" she asked.

"Do you mean Uncle Sasuke, Cousin Sasuke, Second Cousin Sasuke or… me?" Sasuke Two asked.

"My son!" yelled Tashoku in her frantic state. "You know, the baby! I don't remember who was holding him last!"

Tashoku realized that the people under the table had no idea where her precious baby was so she stood up and looked around. She finally spotted Kobiru caressing Lil Lee in his state of unconsciousness and figured that maybe SHE'D have an idea!

"Kobiru!" she yelled, running over. "Have you seen my son anywhere?!"

"Uh…" said Kobiru slowly. "…No."

"That's it?!" demanded Tashoku.

Kobiru shrugged and nodded.

"Will you help me find him?" Tashoku asked, trying to sound reasonable.

"Well, I have to watch over Lee to make sure nothing bad happens to him." Kobiru said regrettably.

"He'll be FINE!" Tashoku insisted as if she KNEW. Just then, Pansuke came over with Aikan.

"We were just fighting the ninjas, and I couldn't help but notice that I'm NOT unconscious and he is." Said Pansuke.

"There's no point in mocking him while he can't hear it." Said Sasuke Jr. as he came over as well.

"Then I'll just have to write it down so I'll remember to make fun of him about it." Said Pansuke as he whipped out a pen and wrote it down on his hand.

"How about you go and fight the ninjas instead?" suggested Sasuke Jr.

"Sasuke, have you seen our son anywhere?!" Tashoku said frantically.

"Relax, Senjou has him." Sasuke Jr. said.

"Oh." Said Tashoku with a sigh of relief. "Senjou has him."

"I have who?" Senjou asked, walking over empty handed.

Sasuke Jr. and Tashoku stared at Senjou.

"Where's little Sasuke?" Tashoku said, getting ready to strangle someone.

"Oh, my mom has him." Senjou answered.

And, as fate would have it, Ino came over. "Senjou!" she yelled. "Why aren't there evil ninja corpses littering this room?!"

"I don't know." Said Senjou. "Why?"

"Why aren't you killing them?!" she yelled.

"Because I'm looking for Shino's daughters!" Senjou said as if it was obvious.

"Shino HAS his daughters!" said Ino, pointing at Ino who was sitting under the table with his daughters. And Sasuke Two.

"He should have SAID something!" said Senjou.

"So go fight the ninjas!!" Ino screamed. It was now the principal of the thing.

"Fine, fine!" Senjou said as he walked off to fight some ninjas.

Ino took a deep breath.

"Mom…where's little Sasuke?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"Inoshi has him." Ino replied.

"INOSHI HAS HIM?!" yelled everyone who was standing there. Even the people who haven't said anything in a while like Pansuke and Kobiru… and even Aikan who hasn't said anything at all.

"Don't worry!" said Ino. "He's over there being protected by Hichou!"

Everyone looked over to see that this was true.

"Oh, and he's got mine too." Said Aikan, looking ALMOST disappointed. She earlier glanced around, noticed that Lil Lee was not in possession of him, nor his entire family, and she certainly knew that SHE didn't have him… she wondered for a few minutes where he had gone. But only a FEW minutes.

"Well…I guess that's all right…" said Tashoku. "But I would STILL rather Senjou be watching him."

"Guys…" said Shikamaru as he walked over and sounded whiny. "My son is STILL over there in the sack, in case you've forgotten."

They all looked over at the head ninja with the crown who was still holding the sack and laughing diabolically.

"Well, I don't see YOU actively doing anything to remedy the situation." Ino said with a frown.

"I'm RETIRED." Said Shikamaru, sounding almost appalled.

"So am I." Ino reminded him.

"Well, I'm not asking YOU to do anything about it." Shikamaru pointed out.

While everyone continued to have mini-battles, Shika and Cho were finished saving Hana and Kajitsu.

"No need to thank us!" said Shika as he brushed himself off.

"All in a day's work!" Cho finished. "For we are…"

"THE STYLISH DUO OF KONOHA!!!" they both yelled as they posed again.

"Look out!" yelled Hana.

They turned around but, because of their current pose, it limited their mobility and only Shika was able to get out of the line of fire in time. Cho was sent hurtling across the room at a trillion miles an hour and got lodged in the wall.

"CHO!!!" yelled Shika as he outstretched his arm in the most dramatic fashion possible. He turned around and glared at the attacker. "How dare you! For that, I shall summon my stylish panthers!"

He was just about to summon his stylish panthers, when he had a flashback.

_"You win!" said Shika. "I cannot fight without Cho. That's why I sent my panthers to do it for me but they failed me."_

_"That wasn't a good move on your part." Lil Lee said. "Sending the panthers, I mean."_

"Hm…" Shika said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "No! It must be ME! I shall defeat you on my own!"

Hana and Kajitsu covered their eyes and, because they missed all the action, WE DID TOO!!! When they opened their eyes up again, there was an array of deceased ninjas about them and, as they scanned up to Shika's face, they found that he had…

"An infection!" Kajitsu gasped.

"A Sharingan!" Hana corrected.

"A what?" Shika said, his aura depleted as he pulled out his pocket mirror and opened it up. He looked at his reflection to see that he did, in fact, have a Sharingan! A little one that was way lame, but it was still a Sharingan nonetheless.

"Congratulations!" said Itachi as he came out of nowhere. "Better late than never, that's what I always say!"

"Really?" said Shika. "That's what you always say?"

"No…not really." Said Itachi with a sigh.

Shika was just about to respond to that, when he remembered that Cho was still lodged in the wall. "CHO!!" he yelled as he sprinted over, grabbed Cho and pulled him out of the wall. "Cho are you okay?"

"Oh yes, Shika, I'm FINE!" said Cho as he brushed himself off as if getting stuck in the wall happened all the time. "But I must have sustained some sort of head injury since I believe I'm hallucinating! Is that a Sharingan I see?"

"Yes!!" said Shika proudly. "We finally got our Sharingans!"

"Now we can make Dad proud!" cheered Cho.

That's when Kajitsu and Hana walked over.

"Um…you don't have your Sharingan." Said Kajitsu flatly as she pointed at Cho.

"Surely you are JOKING!" said Cho. "Shika's Sharingan is as clear as day! And there's no way only ONE of us could get our Sharingan!"

"We do EVERYTHING together." Shika said.

"I can vouch for that." Hana said.

"Cho, turn yours on and show her." Shika invited.

"Certainly!" said Cho with a nod. He stood there like a fool for a few seconds and then looked at Shika. "Is it on?"

"Not yet." Said Shika.

"Okay." Said Cho as he stood there once again. "How about now?"

"…No…" Shika began.

"I guess that only ONE of you is worthy of the Sharingan!" said Itachi as he frolicked over since he had just realized he had been standing there all by himself while giving the Sharingan speech. "Now where is Sasuke? We must tell him the good news!"

"NO!" yelled Cho. "This can't be! Shika… I have no right to be your twin!!"

He buried his face in his hands and ran away in tears.


	39. How come WE didn't have any sons?

"Cho, no!" said Shika as he ran after him.

"I'll go tell Sasuke!" said Itachi.

"Wait, no!" said Hana. "They just said that they didn't want you to!"

"So?" said Itachi.

"Dad, if they don't want Uncle Sasuke to know, then maybe we shouldn't tell him." Said Sasuke Two as he came out of hiding. "They probably want to tell him themselves."

"You're right!" said Itachi as a light bulb turned on over his head. "You're so smart! How did I get such a smart child?"

Sasuke Two shrugged. There really was no intelligent response to that sort of comment.

"So, where are you hiding anyway?" said Itachi as if the new game was 'Where is Sasuke Two hiding?'

"Under the table with a bunch of Aburames." Sasuke Two answered, pointing at the table at the four Aburames who waved.

"Let's go!" said Itachi as he practically dove under the table.

Moujo officially found this to be weird so she crawled out and went over to where Hana, Kajitsu and Sasuke Two were standing.

"Oh Hinata!" wailed Kiba as he cried in Hinata's shoulder. "I can't do ANYTHING right!"

"It's all right, Kiba." Said Hinata as she patted him on the back. "I don't really mind all that much."

"Yes you do!" said Kiba.

"Really Kiba, it's okay." Hinata said. "Now don't you think you should fight the ninjas with everyone else?"

"Why would they need ME?" Kiba asked, going into self-deprecating mode.

"Because you're a great ninja, Kiba." Hinata assured him.

"That's not true, Hinata." Kiba sniffled.

"Yes it is, Kiba." Said Hinata. "You know that."

"Then how come I'm just a chuunin?" Kiba asked. "If I'm such a great ninja, then how come I'm not a jounin?"

Hinata sighed and looked around the room, choosing not to respond, and diverting her attention to Ino who was walking over.

"Hinata, I'm really sorry about your anniversary." She said truthfully.

"It's all right." Said Hinata.

"And do you by any chance know where Senjou is?" Ino sighed. "Because I know if Senjou was fighting, he'd be able to get rid of these ninjas and the anniversary would be back in full swing."

"I haven't…" began Hinata but then she leaned over and looked around Ino. "Is that him over there talking to Kakashi?"

Ino closed her eyes and looked very frustrated. "Talking to Kakashi?" she repeated.

Hinata nodded slowly. "It might be one of your other sons!" she tried. "You have so many!"

"Hinata, how come WE didn't have any sons?!" Kiba said.

Their conversation continued as Ino turned around and confirmed that, yes, it WAS Senjou talking to Kakashi. She stomped over.

"Wait, but weren't you in the middle of the ocean when you lost your other evil eye?" Senjou said, interrupting Kakashi from an obvious tangent.

"Yeah, but I'm talking about my other OTHER evil eye." Kakashi said.

"Ooohhh." Said Senjou.

"Senjou!" yelled Ino.

Senjou jumped and turned around. "Oh, hi Mom." He said.

Ino stared at him and tapped her foot as he waited.

"Oh right!" he said. "Captain Kakashi, I was supposed to be fighting the ninjas this whole time."

"You should have said so." Said Kakashi.

"Is the life of a pirate more fun than the life of a ninja?" Senjou asked. "Because the more I hear of your pirate adventures, the more I want to be a pirate. Do you have any room left on your crew?"

"As a matter of fact, I DO have one position-"

"KAKASHI!" yelled Ino. "STOP THAT! This pirate thing of yours ends NOW!"

"Captain Kakashi will NEVER retire his piratehood." Senjou said. "He told me."

"Senjou…" started Ino. "Just…go and fight the ninjas." Then she turned to Kakashi. "As for YOU! I think it's about time you stopped with this pirate thing! It was cute when he was ten and you were just entertaining him while he was bored, but now it's just WRONG! Hasn't it occurred to you that he's eighteen years old now and you can't be filling his head with thoughts like this? He's very gullible, in case you haven't already noticed! I'm sure if you told him that gullible was written on the ceiling, he'd look!"

"It is?" Senjou said, looking up.

"Senjou!" Ino practically shrieked. "Go fight the ninjas!"

"I DID!" Senjou said, sounding offended.

Ino spun around to see the sight she had been waiting to see for a long time. The room littered with ninja corpses.

"That's more like it." She said.

"You may have destroyed my entire army of ninjas, but I will still get all the information I seek!" yelled the Head Ninja.

"Why didn't you kill that one too?!" Ino demanded of Senjou.

"I figured that I should save him for Shikamaru or something." Senjou shrugged.

"I really don't want to fight him." Said Shikamaru. "And he has my son in a sack. He's just standing there and no one is opposing him. And it's starting to offend me that no one cares."

"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" laughed Head Ninja as he grabbed onto a rope and was just about to swing out the window with the sack over his shoulder when a hoard of dogs came out of nowhere and jumped on him. "NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as they devoured his body and the crown.

When they dispersed, Shikataro was sitting there looking quite disheveled. He stood up, adjusted his sunglasses and watched the dogs walk away.

"Guys." He said. "I was in that sack for like… a half an hour. There are… how many of you guys are ninjas? I was saved by these DOGS."

"You weren't exactly trying to escape." Said Shikamaru.

"I struggled at first, realized it was fruitless and then decided to save my energy just in case you guys didn't do anything, which you didn't, so that if they took me back to their evil lair then I'd be able to jump out and run when they opened the sack." Shikataro said. "And, by the way that fight was going, if it wasn't for the dogs, that's what I would have had to do."

"Don't take it personally, Shikataro." Said Lil Gai. "We LOVE you!"

"Uh…huh." Said Shikataro as he pulled out a comb to fix his hair so he looked like a proper Vash the Stampede.

"Well, I hope you're happy Shikamaru." Said Kiba. "You RUINED my anniversary with your crazy ninjas who just NEEDED to have information and put Shikataro in a sack!"

"They're not MY ninjas." Said Shikamaru.

"Well, as long as we're all okay!" said Tenten.

"Is Sasuke okay?" Sakura asked, looking at the Judo chopped Sasuke.

"Yeah, he's fine." Said Ino. "He'll be up in about an hour."

"This party is officially completely ruined." Sighed Kiba. "I'm going home."

Kiba lowered his head and sadly trudged out.

All of the Inuzukas, who had been completely silent and not helpful this entire time, looked at each other and shrugged. If Kiba was leaving, they had absolutely no reason to be there whatsoever, so they all left as well.

Hinata couldn't just have her husband leave like that, so she followed after him as well.

Everyone that was remaining thought it would have been ludicrous to stay at an anniversary party for people who weren't even THERE, so they frolicked on after them too.

By this time, no matter how unrealistic this makes the time in this world, it was NIGHTTIME!! So the men excluding Shino and Kiba had to go to the hotel for BED!!


	40. No Hichou

"You know, even though it wasn't TECHNICALLY me who beat you, I'm still going to put a tally for me." Pansuke said as he whipped out his chart. "One million and one to one!"

"Pansuke, don't think you're dropping your horribly pregnant wife on me!" said Lil Lee.

"Don't change the subject!" said Pansuke.

"As far as I'm concerned, this IS the topic and YOU'RE the one who changed it by randomly giving yourself a tally on your ridiculous chart!" Lil Lee retorted.

"It's not RANDOM!" said Pansuke. "You were beaten and I wasn't so I officially WIN!"

"Since when were we in a competition?!" demanded Lil Lee.

"We're ALWAYS in a competition!!" Pansuke yelled. "For example, I ended up getting BOTH girls! Not only am I married to Kobiru, but your wife told me that she likes me more than you and wants to go out with me!"

"Pansuke, do you have any idea how much of an idiot you sound like?!" Lil Lee said. "You're MARRIED! As you JUST SAID!"

"Since when is variety a bad thing?"

"Not when it comes to marriage!" said Lil Lee. "Aikan is my wife, Kobiru is your wife! Those lines don't cross over!"

"Hey, I'm glad I'm happily married." Sasuke Jr. said.

"You know, I think one of those Inuzuka girls was hitting on me at the party." Senjou said.

"Really?" Sasuke Jr. said. "Did you get her number?"

"Yeah…" Senjou said. "I think I lost it though…"

"Did you give her yours?" Sasuke Jr. said.

"Yeah." Senjou answered. "I hope she didn't lose it…"

MEANWHILE!!!

"Okay so how long was I in that sack for again?" Shikataro asked, sitting on the end of his bed.

"I don't know, Shikataro, I wasn't paying attention." Shikamaru said with a sigh.

"No one was wearing a watch?" Shikataro asked. Shikamaru shook his head. Neji was ignoring him. Hichou was braiding his own hair.

"Um…thirty-nine minutes." Shikamaru threw out of nowhere.

"Don't make up a time." Shikataro said. "It was at LEAST forty-five minutes."

"Dad!" Hichou said, bouncing over to Neji with two pigtails in his hair.

"What is it, Hichou?" Neji asked.

"May I braid your hair too?!" he asked.

"No Hichou." Neji said with a sigh. "No you can't."

Hichou pouted for a second but then turned to Shikamaru who was now taking his hair out of its ponytail.

"No." Shikamaru said sternly to Hichou.

"COME ON!!" Hichou whined.

MEANWHILE!!

"Well, today certainly was a fun day!" Chouji said happily as he hopped into bed.

"Let's not bother fighting over who sleeps where tonight…" Naruto said as he climbed into his cot.

"You're the one who always starts the fights, Naruto." Said Sasuke, pulling the covers over himself.

"Dad, where did Itachi go?" Inoshi said, taking his glasses off.

Sasuke froze. How could he have forgotten about Itachi?!

Inoshi didn't mean to evoke this reaction and his mother probably would have been angry at him for reminding Sasuke of Itachi.

"Don't be silly!" came Itachi's voice from the bathroom. He came into view wearing identical Uchiha pajamas that Sasuke was wearing. "There's no way I would leave my little brother!" He gasped when he noticed they matched. "We really are two of a kind, Sasuke."

"I am nothing like you!" Sasuke yelled, getting up out of bed.

"Sasuke, your wife has given me direct orders that if you do anything that I believe is in the zone of 'crazy' then I am allowed to Judo chop you!" Naruto warned.

"So where should I sleep?" said Itachi, looking around. "THERE'S a space!"

He sprinted over and dove into the empty space next to Inoshi who jumped and tried to move over a little bit.

"You will not barge into my hotel room, frighten my son and then take my space in the bed!" Sasuke yelled. "Inoshi, get away from him this instant!! I can't believe I have to TELL you this!"

Inoshi jumped even higher, and quickly got out of bed. Not in fear of Itachi, but in fear of his father.

"Aww…" Itachi sighed. "But Sasuke… he's my nephew…he's family."

"And you have a certain tendency to kill your family so I'm going to keep what is left of it away from you!" Sasuke said.

And, even though it was entirely rational for him to be upset on the matter, Naruto decided that he was being crazy and gave him a good Judo chop.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All right girls!" Kiba said as he stormed into the room in which all the girls were chilling with Shino.

"Yes Kiba?" Hinata asked.

"We're sleeping out on the land tonight!" Kiba announced. "So everyone grab your sleeping bags and head outside!"

"Dad, don't you think I'm a little too old for 'random camping night'?" Tashoku asked.

"Tashoku, I'm older than you." Kiba said. "And if I'm not too old for random camping night then you're not!"

"Kiba…" Hinata started.

"And besides!" Kiba continued. "I was nice and lenient enough to not force it upon you when you and your husband came to stay for two weeks while your house was being remodeled!"

"And I appreciate it, dad." Tashoku said. "But really…"

"It's MY house!" Kiba insisted.

Everyone grumbled, but eventually, they couldn't beat out Kiba's logic. Or… ILLOGIC. Either way, it contains 'logic' in it and, according to Kiba, it must be logical.

So everyone brought their sleeping bags that had either been loaned to them or they had brought from home. Thankfully, everyone got a sleeping bag, whether Kiba complained about it or not! They're argument was that Kiba couldn't force them to sleep outside and then NOT give them a sleeping bag.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I'm so worried about Cho!!" Shika exclaimed as he barged into the room that Lee and Lil Gai were hanging around playing Go Fish in. Shika ran over to the empty bed and threw himself upon it, weeping into his pillow.

"Aw…I'm sure he'll turn up." Lil Gai said reassuringly.

"But Cho and I have never been apart for this long before!" Shika wailed. "Whether I have the Sharingan or not, I'm nothing without him!"

"Wow." Said Lil Gai. "I wish I had a twin."

"Me too." Said Lee with a sigh.

"I wish Cho would come back…" Shika said, looking out the window and clenching his fist dramatically.

Lil Gai and Lee continued to comfort Shika, but it was obvious that nothing would console him as long as his brother was amiss.

"I feel so empty on the inside!" Shika said, turning around. "I have to go and find him!"

"I'm sure he's just angsting somewhere!" Lee said. "He's an Uchiha! It's natural!"

"…I'M an Uchiha too!" Shika said. Lee just smiled at Shika. "I'm leaving."

And with that, Shika left the room.

"Dad…" Lil Gai said, hesitantly.

"Yes, Lil Gai?" Lee said, a silent tear rolling down his cheek.

"Will you be my twin?" Lil Gai asked.

"I'd be HONORED Lil Gai!" Lee said as he embraced his spawn.

MEANWHILE!!!

"And Aikan and I worked TOGETHER to fight off the ninjas and she said she was very impressed with my genjutsu abilities." Sighed Pansuke. It was dark and everyone should have been sleeping, but Pansuke continued to speak. "I can't remember whether it was before or after the table managed to defeat you, Lee."

"Say what you want about my humiliating defeat, just don't mention my wife anymore!!" Lil Lee yelled.

"Whoa Lee, way to over react." Said Pansuke.

"I'm not sleeping in here." Said Lil Lee as he got up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"What's HIS problem?" said Pansuke.

"I don't blame him, Pansuke." Said Sasuke Jr. "I hate you too."

"But he kind of overreacted." Said Senjou.

"See?" said Pansuke. "Senjou's on my side!"

"I'm not on your side!" Said Senjou, sounding offended that Pansuke would think something like that. "Hell will freeze over before I agree with you on something! I was just saying that he didn't have to yell or slam the door while he was storming out in a completely justified fashion because I was sleeping and he woke me up."

"Sometimes, Senjou…I just don't know what, if anything, is going on in your head." Pansuke said.

Then, in the darkness, there was the sound Sasuke Jr. struggling to hold Senjou back from killing Pansuke. Then, after about four seconds of that, Sasuke Jr. realized that he kind of… WANTED Pansuke dead.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Dad, I'm really tired." Hichou whispered.

"Then go to sleep." Neji said through clenched teeth. He too was trying to go to sleep but as of so far, was having no success. Shikamaru and Shikataro were both sleeping, so why couldn't Neji?!

"Oh yeah!" Hichou laughed as he rolled over.

Just then, the window exploded and a bunch of evil ninjas crashed through it. Not even Shikamaru and Shikataro could sleep through such an event so they both sprung up out of bed, as did Hichou. Neji just sort of… sat up in bed. He didn't spring or anything.

"You thought you could get away?!" laughed the ninja in front who had a gold scepter and a purple cape. "Not only will we get the information we need, but I will make you suffer heavily for killing my brother!!"

"Where's an Uchiha clan when you need it?" Shikamaru sighed as the ninjas went to attack but Hichou jumped out in front and Gentle Fisted them into next Tuesday. Then, as more and more ninjas came through the window to attack, Hichou continued to protect himself, Shikamaru, Shikataro and Neji (who had lied back down to go to sleep, having absolutely no concern for his well being as long as Hichou was around.)

MEANWHILE!!!

"So that's how I did it." Itachi said in his wrapping up voice. "That's how I killed the clan."

He gave a heavy sigh and looked at Naruto, Chouji and Inoshi with a grin.

"Well, g'night everyone! Sweet dreams!" he pulled the covers up to his chin, lied down on went to sleep with an all-too-pleasant expression on his face. That wasn't a very good bedtime story.

Sasuke was still Judo chopped and lying on the floor, and Naruto started to think that maybe that wasn't the best course of action. Inoshi didn't want to be in the same room as Itachi, let alone the same BED. As for Chouji… well… HE wanted to be in the same bed as Inoshi…

Itachi then began to snore.

"Well uh…" started Naruto. "Good night guys."

"Good night Naruto." Said Chouji.

"Good night." Said Inoshi.

The three of them twiddled their thumbs nervously and didn't turn the lights off. Their eyes slowly wandered over to where Itachi was sleeping. Or was he sleeping? They had no way of telling. Maybe this senile thing he was pulling really was just an act. What THEN?

"Well, I'm going to go hang out somewhere else and work on my book." Inoshi suddenly came to the conclusion, picking up his laptop, stepping over Sasuke and making his way to the door.

"And I'm going to go train!" Naruto declared, springing up as well.

Chouji sighed. "Well, I guess I'll get something to eat…"

MEANWHILE!!!

"See?" said Kiba randomly to everyone as they tried to get to sleep on the hard ground. "I TOLD you this would be fun!"

"Kiba, I don't mean to sound rude, but everyone's trying to sleep." Hinata whispered.

"Oh, okay." Said Kiba. "It's just… I TOLD them!"

"You told them all right." Hinata agreed, mostly just wanting him to be quiet.

"Sometimes I wonder if there's any point in going to sleep when it's past a certain time." Kiba continued even though it was obvious that everyone wanted him to be quiet. "Because you just have to get up a few hours later!"

No one had the heart to tell Kiba to shut up.

"Furthermore," Kiba went on.

"Kiba…" Hinata said.

"Yes Hinata?" said Kiba.

"Nothing, Kiba." Said Hinata. "It's just…everyone wants to go to sleep. Even though you wake up so early, most people don't."

"Oh, all right." Said Kiba with a nod. "Should I wake everyone up early tomorrow then?"

"NO!" yelled everyone as they sat up in their sleeping bags.

"Fine!" said Kiba, feeling dejected. "I'm a bad host!!"

"You're not a bad host, Kiba…" Hinata said frantically.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Say, do you think Shika ever found Cho?" Lil Gai asked Lee in the still of the night.

"I don't know, Lil Gai, I just don't know." Said Lee, being overly dramatic.

Lil Gai sighed heavily. "I'm worried about them. Is it really that big of a deal that only one of them got the Sharingan?"

"I don't know, Son." Said Lee, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, your older brother and I don't harbor any resentment towards you for being able to use ninjutsu or genjutsu!"

Lee reevaluated.

"Well, I don't anyway!" he corrected himself with a chuckle.

"Yeah Dad, I guess you're right!" said Lil Gai. "You're so wise! I'm so glad you're my father!"

"I would be glad if I were you and I was my father too." Lee said.

THE NEXT MORNING!!!

"LIL GAI!!!" Lee screamed, shaking Lil Gai vigorously to awaken him.

"What is it, Father?!" Lil Gai screamed right back, sitting up in bed.

"I had a vision last night!" Lee said as he flung open the curtains and let the sun shine into the room.

"Of what?" Lil Gai asked eagerly.

"Today is the day in which I will finally accomplish my life long goal and defeat Neji in a fair battle!" Lee said.

"I'm so proud of you!" Lil Gai exclaimed, leaping upon his father and giving him the embrace of a lifetime.

"Oh yeah, and Shika and Cho came back last night." Lee said, pointing at the other bed to reveal that they were both in the process of waking up.

"I was so worried about you two!" Lil Gai said as he jumped on their bed to aid in the waking up of them.

"We still have a lot to work out." Cho said as he firmly grabbed hold of his brother's hands and both looked up into the sky. "But until everything is firmly decided on, we have to keep all this Sharingan business a secret!"

"You guys have to promise not to tell anyone!" said Shika.

"Scout's honor!" said Lil Gai and Lee at the same time.

"Hey, what made you guys want to come back?" Lee asked. "Just out of curiosity."

"I tripped and fell in the mud and had to clean up." Cho said with a sigh. "I'm just glad that I wasn't wearing my good fleecy tee."

"Me too." Said Shika, looking OVERLY relieved.


	41. He's still incredibly incompetent

MEANWHILE!!!

Kiba DID wake up absurdly early as usual but he didn't feel it necessary to wake up his guests, thankfully.

Instead, he did his regular morning activities that included his walk. When he got back from his walk, Hinata was awake.

"Hinata, I'm sorry our anniversary party was ruined!" said Kiba.

"It's not your fault, Kiba!" said Hinata. She felt bad for him instead of for herself. They were just about to hug and comfort each other when they looked down to see Jijo and Sanjo standing right there.

"Why…hello there!" said Kiba as he bent down to their level. "If it isn't two of my FAVORITE Aburames!"

Hinata sighed… she really wanted some Kiba lovin'.

"Our father wants to know what today's activity is." Jijo said.

"The invitation says we don't leave until tonight." Sanjo added, pulling out the invitation t show Kiba.

"So we're assuming there is entertainment provided until then." Jijo continued.

"If not, we'd like to request to leave now." Sanjo finished.

"Isn't that sweet?" said Hinata. And no one knew if she was serious or not.

MEANWHILE!!!

Itachi rose from his bed, yawned, cricked and then noticed there was no one to be found. He crawled over to the edge of the bed and looked down where Sasuke once laid Judo chopped only to find him not there. He sighed and became awfully sad that everyone had left him. He only wanted some friends!!

He got up out of bed with his head low. He thought that today was going to be a good, fun day that he could spend time with his brother and his family, getting to know all the kids and his wife. Apparently, however, he was WRONG!

Just then, the door opened. Itachi's heart leapt with joy as his blond haired, glasses wearing, flute wielding, typewriting nephew entered and jumped in surprise to see Itachi up and about with so much pep.

"Inoshi, right?" Itachi said cheerfully, frolicking over to Inoshi and putting his arm around him. Inoshi winced at the physical contact, but he nodded. "Inoshi, there is no reason for you to experience any pain in my presence. Why, I was once a young man like yourself. Did you know that when I was even younger, I killed my entire clan?"

Inoshi nodded again.

"Oh." Said Itachi with a frown. "Did I already tell you this story?"

At a loss of anything else to do, Inoshi nodded one more time.

"Well never mind then!" Itachi said as he frolicked around the room before he picked up a suitcase and threw it on the bed. "What shall I wear today? And, by the way, where did everyone else go?"

"My dad and the other two guys went back to Kiba's house." Inoshi answered. "I forgot my glasses case so I came back to get it…"

"Excellent!" said Itachi. "If you hadn't been so forgetful then I NEVER would have been able to find you guys! You're the best nephew ever! You must be my little brother's favorite son! Give a hug to Uncle Itachi!"

Itachi stretched his arms and practically ambushed Inoshi who probably wouldn't have even been able to dodge his evil uncle's wrath even if he WAS a mad awesome ninja, which we all know he's not.

MEANWHILE!!!

"All right Hichou, remember to use conditioner." Neji said as he shut the bathroom door and turned around to be faced with Shikamaru. "Oh, I'm glad you're awake. Now I don't have to wake you up."

"Neji, I have some questions about your son." Shikamaru said.

"What about?" Neji said.

"You really weren't exaggerating when you boasted about his ability." Shikamaru said.

"Of course not." Neji agreed. "If anything, I didn't explain his skills thoroughly enough."

"WHY isn't he a higher rank than a chuunin?" Shikamaru demanded.

Neji gave a long, hard painful sigh.

"In case you haven't noticed, Hichou's a little slow when it comes to mental development." He said, and it was clear that nothing he could say would ever be more terrible. "When he's ready to take the jounin exam, I'll allow him to."

"That kid just saved my LIFE last night!" Shikamaru said. "And you didn't even tell him to! He did it on his own!"

"So?" Neji said, raising an eyebrow. "He's still incredibly incompetent."

"I think you should rethink your decision to hold him back." Shikamaru said.

"I don't need you telling me how to be a parent." Neji said with one of his famous glares just as Shikataro came over looking bedraggled.

He stood there for a minute or so before noticing that no one was or was going to pay attention to him. So he gave a dejected sigh and walked away.

MEANWHILE!!!

Senjou sat up in bed and yawned while stretching high to the sky. He got out and flung open the curtains to allow in the shining sun. He simply LOVED the mornings!!

"Senjou, what are you doing?" Sasuke Jr. demanded, throwing the covers over his head.

"Hey, now that Kiba and Hinata's wedding anniversary is over, do we all go home?" Senjou wondered, completely disregarding Sasuke Jr.'s question.

"Close the curtains!" Pansuke commanded.

"No…" Senjou said as he opened them wider just to annoy Pansuke. But it was also annoying Sasuke Jr. But Senjou figured that Sasuke Jr. would have to take one for the team this time around.

Finally, when Pansuke and Sasuke Jr. were awakened, they all moseyed around the room for a few minutes and noticed a certain availability of the bathroom and shower, so they all started to wonder where Lil Lee had stormed off to the night before.

That's when there was a knock on the door. Sasuke Jr. went to the door and looked through the little peek hole.

"Hey, Lee's wife is at the door." He reported.

"I'LL open it!" Pansuke declared as if that was his job, reaching for the doorknob and flinging it open.

"Good morning!" Aikan said with a smile.

"Lee's not here right now." Senjou said.

"Oh, I didn't come to talk to Lee." Said Aikan as if that was an absurd assumption. "Pansuke, what are you doing for the rest of the week?"

"Probably something annoying that has to do with Kiba and Hinata and their wedding anniversary…" Pansuke answered vaguely. "You want to come along? I'm sure they won't mind."

"Sure!" said Aikan.

Sasuke Jr. and Senjou looked at each other with skeptical expressions.


	42. Sasuke Two? Do you love men?

MEANWHILE!!!

"Sasuke, you really have just cool down." Ino said as she and Sasuke sat in the living room. "I know it's frustrating for Itachi to suddenly turn up alive-"

"Frustrating?!" Sasuke interrupted. "THAT is not the word!!"

"Okay, okay." Ino said reasonably. "But there are better things you can do with your rage than just storm around and bothering people while ruining their time at the reunion."

"No there isn't." Sasuke with a glare.

"Okay, Sasuke…" said Ino, leaning over. "Short of killing Itachi, let's try to brainstorm on how else you can deal with this anger."

"Wait, did you say short of killing Itachi?" Sasuke asked. "I can't think of anything."

"Don't give me that!" Ino said, pushing his shoulder. "We could try those anger management classes again!"

"No." Sasuke said firmly.

"You're right." Ino sighed. "They didn't really work apparently."

"You're acting as if it's MY fault Itachi is suddenly alive!" Sasuke said, standing up.

"When did I say it was your fault?!" Ino demanded.

"When did I say you said it was my fault?" Sasuke asked. "I just said you were acting like it was my fault!"

"It isn't!" Ino said.

"I know it isn't! Sasuke yelled, slumping back down into his chair and crossing his arms childishly while pouting.

"You know, I kind of have to agree with Sasuke on this one." Said Naruto as he came over and invaded the conversation. "I mean… if I had a family and my theoretical older brother killed them all and then I thought that I killed him but it turned out that he was alive and trying to pretend as though he didn't kill my pretend family then I'd be rather unstable about it."

"Aside from the fact that you seemed to TRY to complicate what you just said, that was one of the more intelligent things I've heard you say, Naruto." Said Sasuke.

"You just said that because he's agreeing with you." Ino pointed out.

Just then, the door slammed open.

"WHERE IS HE?!" screamed Lee as he came sprinting in. "Where's Neji?!"

"He's not back yet." Said no one in particular.

"What?" said Lee as he deflated with unhappiness. "Aw…"

"Don't tell me…" Tenten started, noticing that Lee was in FULL battle garb and had aura like crazy. "Lee, you're fifty."

"Exactly!" Lee announced. "And I still haven't accomplished my life long goal!"

"I'm behind you one hundred percent, Dad!" said Lil Gai as he ran in as well. Shika and Cho weren't far behind them.

"Hey, I never saw you guys after the fight at the anniversary!" said Ino to her sons.

"Yeah well…" they said nervously.

"Where did you go?" Sasuke asked.

"What Sharingan?!" said Shika.

"What?" said Sasuke.

"Never mind!" said Cho. "Shika's just feeling a little Sharingan-I mean tired!!"

Shika and Cho then ran out of the room as fast as they could. Everyone else shrugged at each other.

"Was that normal?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"You can't put normal and those two in the same category." Sasuke sighed.

"I'll…go talk to them?" Ino suggested as she went to stand up and walk into the other room. No one stopped her like she kind of hoped they would so she had to go through with what she said would do even though she didn't really feel like it. POOR INO!!

"I'm in the best shape I've ever been in!" Lee said, flexing in front of the mirror.

"Lee, don't be ridiculous!" Tenten said. "Sure you're not in BAD shape, but I would HARDLY say you're in the BEST shape!"

"GO DAD GO!!" Lil Gai chanted in the background.

"THANKS LIL GAI!!" Lee said, getting more and more pumped. "I can't WAIT for Neji to come back!"

"SO YOU CAN KICK HIS BUTT!"

"RIGHT!!"

Tenten sighed and decided that there would be no convincing him and that she just shouldn't bother.

The door opened again and Lee turned around to attack the first thing that walked through it in vain hopes that it would be Neji. Unfortunately for him, it was NOT Neji. It was, in fact, Itachi and Inoshi.

Itachi gasped and blocked the attacked, sending Lee hurtling into oblivion.

"Lee!" exclaimed Tenten as she slapped her cheeks.

"See that!" Sasuke yelled. "He attacked him! He IS unstable!"

"I was protecting myself and my favorite nephew!" Itachi said.

"Inoshi, WHY did you bring him back here?!" Sasuke demanded. "I thought I told you specifically to get your glasses case and leave WITHOUT waking him up!"

"He was already awake when I got there and he followed me…" Inoshi said lamely.

"You should have gone someplace else until he eventually gave up following you!" Sasuke yelled.

"Little brother, I'm standing right here." Itachi sighed. "Do you really think I'm that foolish?"

"Yes, Itachi, I do." Said Sasuke.

"How come you don't call me 'big brother' anymore?" Itachi said as if that was the thing that bothered him the most. And really, as if that was even a question.

"I disowned you from the Uchiha family!!" Sasuke yelled. "And yes, I DO have the power to do that!!"

"Why?" said Itachi. "I'M the eldest Uchiha. Technically, I'm the head of the clan."

"You are NOT head of the clan!!" Sasuke argued, his face turning bright red. He has to be stopped before too much blood rushes to his head and he passes out again.

But everyone was too late and he passed out. POOR SASUKE!!

"I would like to let everyone know here and now that I did not kill him!" Itachi said through cupped hands, loudly.

"Not directly." Sakura said. "Assuming he even dies."

Ino came back in after hearing the ruckus. "What's going on in—"

Then she noticed Itachi and Sasuke lying on the ground.

"Did he kill him?!" she demanded, rushing over to Sasuke to feel his pulse. She sighed with relief when she felt it.

"He merely passed out!" Itachi said. Ino just glared at him. "Whoa. What did I do?!"

Everyone stared at him as if he was stupid, no one knew how to articulate to him.

"You killed the entire Uchiha clan?" Inoshi suggested. It was silent for a moment and Inoshi felt very awkward. If Sasuke had been awake, he would probably have been proud of Inoshi for the first time in his life.

"I know." Said Itachi. "Didn't everyone already know that?"

More awkwardness.

Enter Senjou, Sasuke Jr., Pansuke and Aikan.

Pansuke and Aikan were linked at the arms.

Even more awkwardness.

"Hey!" said Tenten as she pointed at Pansuke and Aikan. She didn't know how to follow up on that one.

"I know!" said Senjou, revealing the fact that he was holding Kikei while Sasuke Jr. was holding little Sasuke. "She's making ME carry her own son!"

"That's not the issue, Senjou." Said Sasuke Jr., slapping his forehead.

"Good morning, Sasuke!" said Tashoku as she frolicked over and plucked little Sasuke right out of Sasuke Jr.'s hands. Sasuke Jr. was a little sad because he thought that Tashoku was coming over to say good morning to HIM but apparently he was wrong. WOE IS HIM!

"May I hold my grandnephew?" said Itachi, holding out his hands.

Yet more awkwardness.

"Um…I'm going to feed him." Tashoku lied.

"Oh!" Itachi said. "I could feed him! Wouldn't that be something?!"

"Yes." Said Tashoku. "He…doesn't like being fed by…strangers."

"Oh!" Senjou said happily. "Then he must not think of me as a stranger then!"

"No Senjou." Said Sasuke Jr. "No he doesn't."

Itachi looked at Senjou and then at Kikei.

"Then I'll hold this one!" said Itachi. He paused and then cringed. "Never mind."

"He gets it from his father's side." Aikan told Itachi.

"Very curious." Itachi said with a sigh.

Just then, Lee returned.

"Why did you throw me so far?!" Lee demanded.

"It was your momentum that projected you so far." Itachi said, though it could have been a lie.

Lee sighed, as if he didn't really care and that anger was just protocol. "When is Neji going to get back?" he wondered aloud.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Hey Hana, you never told us if you got that guy's phone number!" said Kajitsu randomly as she, Hana, Moujo and Sasuke Two all brushed their hair in front of a large mirror.

"No…I didn't end up finding him." Hana sighed.

"Can I have YOUR phone number?" Moujo asked Sasuke Two.

"Me too!" Kajitsu said.

Hana sighed and continued to brush her hair, trying to look as uninterested as possible.

"What, so we can hang out later?" Sasuke Two clarified.

"Sure…" said Moujo and Kajitsu as big pulsing hearts appeared in place of their eyes.

Sasuke Two then decided that he didn't want to share his phone number.

"I'll be right back." He said. "I have to go to the bathroom."

With that, he left the room.

"He's so hot…" said Moujo.

"Guys, didn't you notice something weird about him?" Hana said.

"What?" said Kajitsu and Moujo.

"I think he's gay." Hana decided.

"You're just saying that because you can't go out with him since he's your cousin and you're trying to ruin our fun!" Kajitsu accused.

"Who says I even want to go out with him?" Hana demanded.

"Oh I can tell." Kajitsu said, slyly. "I can tell you're jealous."

"Have you noticed how he doesn't seem all that impressed with you guys?" Hana asked. "Maybe he likes men! Let's ask him!"

With that, Hana stormed over to the bathroom door and banged on it. The other girls followed after her.

"Sasuke Two?" she asked through the door.

"Yes?" came Sasuke Two's slightly intimidated sounding voice.

"Do you love men?" Hana asked.

There was a slight pause.

"Yeah." Sasuke Two's voice came sounding as if the girls should have known better than to assume otherwise.

"See?" Hana said.

"What?!" Kajitsu demanded. She pushed Hana aside. "Do you love women too?"

"No." Sasuke Two said.

"Not even just a little?" Kajitsu pushed.

"Nope!" Sasuke Two said.

Kajitsu and Moujo gave dejected sighs as if this was somehow their doing.

"Well, we'll leave you alone then." Kajitsu said.

Sasuke Two poked his head out of the door. "You know, I got the feeling you girls were hitting on me." he said. "I just couldn't figure out why."

"Well, to be frank, it's because you're INCREDIBLIY good looking, in a soft, friendly, feminine sort of way." Moujo said openly.

Sasuke Two raised an eyebrow. "That's good to hear…" he said haltingly.

"So I take it you like to shop, cook and wear pink?" Kajitsu said, counting off on her fingers.

"Kajitsu!" Hana said. "Don't ask THAT!"

"On occasion…yes…" Sasuke Two said, looking uberly confused as to why this would be a problem at all.

"Well, then you can just be our friend then!" said Kajitsu with a sigh.

"I'm glad I passed the initiation test of shopping, cooking and wearing pink." Sasuke Two said sarcastically.

"Please excuse them." Said Hana. "This is how they ALWAYS are."

"Do they hit on you too?" Sasuke Two asked.

"WHAT?!" yelled Kajitsu and Moujo.

"What?" said Hana. "No way."


	43. Humor my dad

MEANWHILE!!

Suddenly, the front door opened.

"Shikataro, I know you suffered but if I have to hear about it one more time, I'm just not going to care anymore." Said Shikamaru as he walked in.

"Some dad you are." Said Shikataro, looking offended.

"I told you I felt bad." Said Shikamaru. "I admit that we didn't save you fast enough but I think it's time you dropped it."

"I could have died, dad." Shikataro said.

"I wasn't worried." Said Shikamaru. "We had plenty of people to rescue you that were high ranking ninjas."

"But yet!" Shikataro started.

"You were saved by the dogs…I know." Shikamaru finished for him with a sigh.

"Exactly!" Shikataro whined. "What part of that is at all not appalling?"

"None of it, Shikataro." Groaned Shikamaru. "None of it. I'll make sure to tell everyone to save you faster next time."

"Do it now." Said Shikataro.

"I'm not gonna do it now." Shikamaru said.

"SHIKAMARU!!!" Lee screamed, running up to Shikamaru and shaking him around crazily.

"What?" Shikamaru said, pushing Lee away as fast as he could.

"Where's Neji?" Lee said, looking behind Shikamaru and all around. "Wasn't he in the same room as you? Where's Neji?! I must fight him!! I have been standing at this door obsessively for him to come inside so I can challenge him to a thirty-three year overdue fight!"

"Oh." Said Shikamaru. "I guess Neji saw you standing at the front door obsessively with your battle uniform on with his Neji powers because he suddenly said that he was going in the back door and left without any explanation."

"WHAT?!" Lee demanded, turning around and going to the other back where Neji had just entered and shut the door behind him.

He cringed when he saw Lee.

"NEJI!!" Lee yelled at the top of his lungs. "It's time for a fight!!"

"No, Lee." Said Neji. "No."

"YES!!" said Lee.

"No." Neji said.

"YES YES YES!!!"

"NO." Neji said in the most final tone EVER, and even threw in a Neji glare, which immediately completely discouraged Lee so much that he lost all his aura and fainted. Neji, satisfied with a job well done, decided to sit himself down somewhere and… read stuff.

"DAD!!" Lil Gai yelled as he ran outside with tears in his eyes. He looked up at Neji as he walked away and swore that someday…he would defeat him. Anyone who could defeat his dad so easily had to be a worthy opponent and Lil Gai knew that that was his true calling.

He wiped his tears from his eyes and put his hand over his heart just as Hichou came flying out of nowhere and crashed into Lil Gai, knocking him out as well.

Tenten came over and shook her head, dragging her son and husband into the house with a sigh.

Which made her suddenly start to wonder. Wherever was Lil Lee? He had seen Sasuke Jr., Senjou, Pansuke and Aikan return, but whyever did Lil Lee not?

She went up to Sasuke Jr. just because… well, many reasons. For one, Lil Lee seemed to be the closest with Sasuke Jr. with "close" being a relative term, of course. She had something against Pansuke and Aikan for the moment because they were sitting next to each other instead of being with their correct spouse… and Senjou's like… five. Or however old he is.

"Excuse me Sasuke-" Tenten started, tapping Sasuke Jr. on the shoulder because he was only standing there like a fool child.

Before she had an opportunity to ask her question, Kobiru came out of nowhere.

"Oh Mrs. Rock, this is AWFUL!" she screeched. "I have searched EVERYWHERE for Lee but he seems to be the ONLY person who isn't here! There are even some EXTRA people here but he is NOT!"

Tenten had already previously decided that she would be giving Kobiru the silent treatment so she just ignored her.

"All right, everyone listen up!!" came Kiba as he accumulated his megaphone that he had much earlier on and then stood up on a table. "Since my anniversary was ruined yesterday and you're all staying for another day, you have to do what I say!"

No one was going to tell Kiba that they were going to do what he said anyway, because they wanted to at least give him the illusion that he was in a position of power.

"And I say that we're going to the beach and if you don't like it then you can just take it up with Hinata!" Kiba said.

He hopped down off the table.

"Nicely done, Kiba." Hinata complimented. "You were very authoritative."

"Thanks, Hinata." Said Kiba. "I was going for that."

"I don't want to go to the beach." Sasuke Jr. said to himself because he likes to talk to himself. He does it a lot, we just don't write it down because it would make him look foolish.

"Why not?" Tashoku asked him because she wanted to and also it had been HER father who had imposed the idea upon everyone.

"Because…" started Sasuke Jr. as he began thinking. "I just don't want to."

"I love the beach!" said Senjou since he might as well have been involved in their conversation. Or at least, he thought that he belonged. "Though… I haven't been there since I was like…twelve or so."

"Do we have to go if we don't want to?" Sasuke Jr. asked Tashoku as if she held all the answers.

"Yes." Tashoku said as if she were the god of the world when everyone knew that was Kiba. "Humor my dad."

"I've humored him for the past week." Sasuke Jr. said. "I think humoring him is past."

"One more day." Tashoku said.

"Fine…" Sasuke Jr. sighed.

So they all piled into random cars and sped off to the closest beach, which JUST so happened to be within a convenient distance.

"Let's go get changed into our bathing suits!" said Moujo to her female friends. Hana and Kajitsu frolicked in after Moujo and they were just about to go into separate stalls to change when they turned around to see that Sasuke Two had followed them.

"Whoa, whoa." Said Kajitsu, trying to push Sasuke Two out, but he held his ground firmly.

"Hey, we know you like men and everything but I don't think that just gives you the right to come in here." Said Moujo, trying to be as delicate as possible.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke Two said, putting his hands on his hips. "So now you're discriminating against me because I like men?"

"No!" Moujo said quickly. "It's just that… you know, the boy's changing room is over there…"

"Yeah… but wouldn't it be kind of weird of I just strolled in there?" Sasuke Two said.

"That's right…" said Hana. "The guys in there would probably feel awkward if they knew you liked men."

"I think they'd feel awkward just because I'm in there." Sasuke Two said.

"Well, you don't have to TELL them you like men." Kajitsu tried.

"I think it's pretty much a given that I like men." Sasuke Two said.

"Well, WE didn't know." Moujo pointed out.

"Whether you guys knew or not, I'm NOT going into the boy's changing room!" Sasuke Two said. "I don't know what the big deal is! We're all going to be in separate stalls anyway, so if you guys really feel THAT awkward about me liking men then-"

"No, no!" said Hana. "It's all right, as long as no one else comes in. We'll all just go in separate stalls." She looked at Moujo and Kajitsu. "Right?"

"All right…" Kajitsu sighed.

"I guess…" Moujo said uneasily.

Kobiru, Tashoku, Jijo, Sanjo and Aikan (yes, she is still there) all went into the changing room to get changed too.

Actually, Jijo and Sanjo didn't get changed because neither of them do water so they don't have bathing suits.

And Kobiru is extremely pregnant so she's not going to go swimming. But Kobiru is also very stupid so she wore her old bikini with her huge stomach hanging out of it and she looked really lame.

Tashoku and Aikan got changed like normal people.

Suddenly, everyone girls emerged from their stalls with bathing suits on.

"How dare you have the same—" started Kajitsu but then she realized that that wasn't Hana she was yelling at. That wasn't Hana wearing the same pink, frilly bathing suit with the little skirt. "Sasuke?!"

"What?" Sasuke Two asked with a confused tone.

"WHY are you wearing that?!" Moujo demanded.

"Oh, we have the same one!" Sasuke Two said, looking quite happy about this predicament. "We must shop at the same store."

"Why are you wearing a girl's bathing suit?!" Kajitsu said. "That's just weird!"

"Why is it weird?" Sasuke Two said.

"Cause it's a girl's bathing suit!!" Kajitsu said.

"What do you suggest I wear instead?" Sasuke Two said, looking beyond confused.

"A BOY'S bathing suit?" Kajitsu suggested.

"Why?" said Sasuke Two.

"Cause you're a boy!" Kajitsu answered.

It was silent for a few seconds.

"No I'm not." Sasuke Two said.

Moujo, Kajitsu and Hana's eyes turned into x's as they floated off the screen.

Oh and, by the way, Aikan, Kobiru and Tashoku all left because they didn't think the conversation really pertained to them…

"Did you guys think I was a boy?" Sasuke Two said, looking a bit betrayed, but also a little amused.

"I guess we just ASSUMED you were… because your name is Sasuke…" Moujo stuttered.

"Well, this certainly clears up a lot." Hana said.

"Wow." Was all Kajitsu could say.

"We're sorry!" chimed the three girls.


	44. I hate to bring up the midget cripple

MEANWHILE!!

"I totally don't want to go to the beach." Said Sasuke Jr. as he stood at the edge of the beach and the parking lot, staring off at it.

"Come on, Sasuke!" said Pansuke, elbowing Sasuke Jr. "Are you gay? Don't you want to see girls in bathing suits?!"

Sasuke Jr. frowned and looked at Pansuke. He didn't even say anything, he just held up his hand and waved his ring finger, showing off his wedding ring.

"So?" said Pansuke holding up his hand as well. "I've got one too."

"You don't deserve that." Said Sasuke Jr. as he pulled the wedding ring off of Pansuke's finger.

"HEY!" Pansuke yelled. "Give that back!"

"Then stop straying from wife to wife."

"Are you jealous?" Pansuke asked with an eyebrow raised.

"No." said Sasuke Jr. as he tossed the ring to Senjou who was standing idly by.

"Give it here, Midget." Pansuke said. Senjou frowned at Pansuke and then threw the ring as far as he could. Which was pretty far.

"HEY!!" Pansuke yelled, running off to find it in the sand.

"I didn't think you'd throw it." Sasuke Jr. said to Senjou.

"I'm sorry." Said Senjou.

"No." said Sasuke Jr. "I'm proud of you."

"Um…I just realized I left my bathing suit at home…" Inoshi said, as he continued to shift through the car. It may have been a lie and the truth was that he left his bathing suit home on PURPOSE and 'accidentally' brought his laptop but… pashaw.

"Well, how about we guys go someplace else instead?" Sasuke Jr. suggested since he didn't want to go swimming anyway, as he previously stated.

"WHERE?!" exclaimed Shika and Cho as they ran over excitedly.

"Uh…" said Sasuke Jr., looking around.

"Hey, a gym!" said Lil Gai, pointing dramatically at a small weight room that was placed conveniently on the beach.

"Let's go there." Said Shikataro since, contrary to popular belief, he WAS there.

So all the young men (that would be everyone EXCEPT Hichou) trekked on over to the gym where they could work out and be manly.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Hey, where did all the boys go?" Ino said as she lied out her lawn chair. She happened to notice that there was a certain amount of people missing, especially since they were mostly her sons.

"Uh…" said everyone dumbly as they looked around absentmindedly for a hint concerning their whereabouts.

Naruto pointed to his pink haired son running across the beach to catch up to the hoard of other men. It wasn't hard to see him, pink hair sticks out. He pointed over at them.

"There they are." He said.

"Where are they going?" Sasuke asked, looking over as they continued getting further away.

"To that building labeled 'gym'." Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.

"I see that!" Sasuke said, getting offended.

"Then why'd you ask?" asked Naruto.

Sasuke was about to answer when suddenly Itachi came over and joined their little circle as if he belonged.

"Don't stop the conversation on account of me!" he said. "I'll just listen for now!"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" Sasuke demanded.

"Little brother." Itachi sighed as he shook his head. "Little brother, little brother, little brother." He paused and gave another heavy sigh. "Oh little brother."

"STOP THAT!!" Sasuke yelled as he was just about to unleash screaming temporal doom upon his brother when Sasuke Two suddenly frolicked up in her pink frilly bathing suit.

"Dad…" she said slowly.

"Yes, Sasuke Two?" Itachi said.

"I just found out that everyone thought I was a boy." Sasuke Two said, lowering her head.

"WHAT?!" Itachi gasped. "That's an outrage! But it runs in the family, you know. Lots of people mistook me for a girl for a long time."

"It happened to you too?" Sasuke Two said, her eyes lighting up.

"It happens to EVERYONE!" Itachi exclaimed. "Just ask your Uncle Sasuke! Didn't it happen to you once or twice, little brother?"

Sasuke glared at his brother and decided not to dignify that question with an answer.

"Well, run along now." Said Itachi, and Sasuke Two skipped off happily.

"You're too old to have a daughter that young." Said Sasuke.

"I just can't do anything the way you want, can I, little brother?!" Itachi said as he buried his face in his hands and ran away crying.

MEANWHILE!!

"Hey look!" said Lil Gai as he frolicked into the gym and pointed to someone familiar. "It's Lil Lee!"

Sure enough, there in front of them was Lil Lee taking out all his aggression on a punching bag.

Well…not ALL his aggression. If it were all of his aggression, there would be no more punching bag.

Lil Lee looking up from his punching and saw the guys. The guys… and Pansuke. The moment he saw Pansuke, he punched the punching bag so hard it exploded.

"GASP!" Lil Gai shouted.

"Lee…" Pansuke said. "Now you have to pay for that."

"Shut up!" Lil Lee said. "Just…don't even talk to me!"

"TEMPER!!" Pansuke said. "Lee, we all think you have a temper problem. Even Senjou said it."

"I didn't say that!" Senjou defended himself.

"LIL LEE!!" screamed Lil Gai as he ran over to his older brother and practically leapt on top of him. "I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!"

Some other buff men in the gym were looking at them with raised eyebrows.

"We're brothers." Lil Lee assured the men once Lil Gai started nuzzling him.

Their eyebrows went higher.

"We ARE." Said Lil Lee.

"Well, now that we're all HERE, we might as well DO something." Said Sasuke Jr. as he sat down at the bench press thing and decided that he was going to do some MAD reps. "Inoshi, spot me!"

Inoshi jumped. Out of everyone, why would Sasuke Jr. pick HIM?

"Uh…" Inoshi started as he made his way over to where Sasuke Jr. was.

"What, did you think I was serious?" said Sasuke Jr. looking enraged. "I was being sarcastic! Why would I want you to spot me?"

"That's what I thought…" Inoshi said, backing away before Sasuke Jr. could beat out whatever aggression he had for whatever reason, since Lil Lee was using the punching bag and all.

Senjou leaned over to him.

"It's all right, Inoshi." He said with a smile. "No offense or anything but… well… I hate to bring up the midget cripple…"

"You don't have to." Said Inoshi with a sigh.

"Okay!" said Senjou with horseshoe eyes. He continued looking at Inoshi as if he was going to say something else but when he didn't, Inoshi just kind of backed off.

"Ready Cho?" asked Shika as the two of them squeezed onto the same bench to bench press.

"Ready Shika!" Cho responded. Suddenly, Shika lifted the weights without Cho's countdown and everything fell the ground.

"OH GOD NO!!" Shika yelled. "I thought you were ready!"

"I was supposed to count down!" Cho sobbed.

"But…but…" Shika said.

"No Shika!" said Cho dramatically. "I know better! It's because of the you-know-what! I'm just holding you back!"

"NO CHO!!" Shika shrieked. "Don't say that!!"

"But it's the TRUTH!!" Cho wailed.

"Move over you two!" said Pansuke as he came out of nowhere and booted them off the bench press. Under normal circumstances, this event would have not occurred because Shika and Cho would have pummeled Pansuke right back using their combined attacks, but unfortunately they were distracted and needed some alone time to be together anyway.

ANYHOO!! Pansuke got on the bench press.

"Who wants to spot me?" he asked.

Nobody moved.

"Okay…who WILL spot me?" Pansuke tried.

Still nobody.

"All right…who do I have to threaten to spot me?!" Pansuke said, rolling up his sleeves.

Everyone avoided eye contact, hoping they wouldn't be associated with him.

"FINE!" said Pansuke as he lied down. "I don't need a spot anyway!"

Shikataro didn't know why he had suggested they go to the gym. He couldn't lift weights if his life depended on it and, as far as he was concerned, sitting inside a building with a bunch of sweaty men was worse than sitting outside in the sun, where he could potentially see some pretty young girl who might recognize him as the Hokage's son, or quite possibly, #4 most eligible bachelor in Konoha.

Inoshi didn't know why he was at the gym either. He hadn't been to the gym since Lee was his teacher and he had hoped that he would never have to go to one again. He had also neglected to grab his laptop on their way over so now he had to actual do something. Something that didn't involve weightlifting. Luckily, he spotted the bikes and went over to pedal at a nice slow pace. He could also read a magazine while he did so.

Senjou went over to the weights were all the really buff guys were.

"Hey guys!" he said, approaching them. They were about thrice his size and thrice as ugly and mean. He didn't get a response that was more than a grunt. "So how about them weights?"

They all abruptly stopped lifting and stared at him.

"I'll just lift my own weights then…" he said as he walked over and picked up two five pounds weights and starting lifting them. "This is the life, guys!"

They all grunted at him again.

Senjou silently lifted his little weights for a few minutes. "So…" he said, feeling like there NEEDED to be conversation. "Are you guys ninjas?"

"Of course we are!!" they all yelled at the same time.

"You don't have to yell!" Senjou said with an exasperated sigh. "You're not that friendly, are you?"

"Look, little man, we're trying to lift weights here so stop talking to us or we'll beat you up." Said the biggest, buffest and ugliest one of them all.

"You?" Senjou laughed. "Beat ME up? I'd like to see you-" But then he dropped the weight and shook out his arm. "Ow…I think I strained something…"

"Senjou," said Sasuke Jr. as he walked over and noticed that a fight was JUST about to be created and it was time for him to intervene as the mature older brother. "Do you want to spot me? I'll spot you after."

"Okay." Said Senjou with a shrug and followed Sasuke Jr. to the other side of the gym.

Sasuke Jr. lied down on the bench press thing that just so happened to right next to the one Lil Lee was using. "So, have you been here the whole time?" he asked as he started pumping iron.

"For some of it." Lil Lee answered. He stopped pumping iron, got up and added more weight. Then he lied back down and continued.

Sasuke Jr. couldn't help but be distracted by the fact that Lil Lee had more weight than he did and, being the competitive Uchiha he is, couldn't possibly have that, whether Lil Lee noticed or not! So he adjusted his weights as well.

He climbed back under the weights and was just about to lift to his heart's content when he realized he couldn't even pick the thing up!

"I think this is too much weight for you." Said Senjou, observing Sasuke Jr.'s weight load.

"Nonsense." Said Sasuke Jr. "I just need to get started and then it'll be the perfect amount."

"Are you sure?" Senjou asked.

"Of course I'm sure." Sasuke Jr. responded. "As a matter of fact, add more to the load."

"Sasuke, you can't even lift this." Senjou pointed out.

"I told you." Said Sasuke Jr. "I just have to get it started. Now add more weight to it before I become cross."

"All right…" said Senjou as he added a few more weights to the load. "Just remember what I said about dying."

"What?" asked Sasuke Jr.

"Don't." Senjou said.

"Okay." Said Sasuke Jr. as he went to lift the weight with all his might. "How about a little boost?"

"Are you kidding?" said Senjou. "I can't lift this."

Lil Lee had sat up on his little bench press thing and watched Sasuke Jr.'s futile attempts to lift the weight he had put on. After a moment of struggle and waiting, Sasuke Jr. stopped and looked at Lil Lee.

"What are you staring at?" he demanded.

"I'm just waiting for you to finish." Said Lil Lee.

"Why?" said Sasuke Jr.

"Cause I need some of those weights you have on yours." Lil Lee answered.

"What?!" Sasuke Jr. demanded, sitting up. "You've already got more on yours than I have, so what makes you think you can lift any more?"

"Cause I can." Said Lil Lee. "I'm not looking to start a competition with you because that's just the way I am. You have ninjutsu and genjutsu, I have strength and speed."

"Yeah right." Said Sasuke Jr. even though Lil Lee was completely right, and it's not like he was trying to offend anyone either.

"Okay…never mind." Lil Lee rolled his eyes.

"No it's NOT 'never mind'!" said Sasuke Jr. as if he had any reason at all to be offended at all.

"I thought YOU were the one that wanted to end it!" Lil Lee said.

"What?!" Sasuke Jr. yelled irrationally.

Lil Lee frowned slightly, utterly confused.

"I don't get it." He said.

"Don't get what?!" Sasuke Jr. yelled.

"What you're angry at." Lil Lee pointed out.

Sasuke Jr. paused for a second and then deflated.

"I don't know." He said calmly.

"I do!" Senjou said. "You were angry because Lee said he was better than you in certain aspects of ninjaing!"

"Oh yeah!" said Sasuke Jr. suddenly becoming angry again.

Lil Lee could only but stare at Senjou with a betrayed look on his face.


	45. Hichou, where is your bathing suit?

MEANWHILE!!!

"Hey, Sasuke, sorry about that whole… we thought you were a boy thing." Said Kajitsu to Sasuke Two as the four girls hung out in the water.

"Yeah, I feel REALLY bad about it…" Moujo admitted.

"I'd actually just like it better if we didn't talk about it…" Sasuke Two admitted. "At all…ever…"

"Okay…" said Kajitsu and Moujo awkwardly.

"All right!" Hana said, clearing her throat. She was glad that, even though she had thought Sasuke Two was a boy too, she had never made any moves on her. And she would have never admitted it but if Sasuke Two weren't her cousin, she probably would have been all over her just like Moujo and Kajitsu.

Speaking of cousins…wait…

"Sasuke, how old are you?" Hana asked.

"I'm thirteen… I'll be fourteen in a few months." Sasuke Two answered.

Hana's face fell.

"Is that… a problem?" Sasuke Two said tentatively.

"That means…" Hana gaped. She wasn't going to say anymore out, but Hana was quite devastated to suddenly learn that she wasn't the first girl Uchiha.

"What?" Sasuke Two asked.

"Nothing." Hana said, acting as if the world had just ended. Which to her, it had.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Shino!" Kiba yelled from in the water. He was about knee deep. "Come on in, the water's fine!"

"I don't do water." Shino said.

"Neither do I but here I am!" Kiba said. "I think it might have to do with the fact that it was my anniversary yesterday and I've grown as a person and a swimmer."

"It wasn't my anniversary, Kiba." Shino said.

"Don't let that stop you, Shino!" Kiba announced.

"Kiba if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times." Shino started. "You have more fun without me."

"That's not true!!" Kiba yelled.

"Shino…" Hinata said, mustering up all her courage. "At this point, Kiba's convinced himself that you guys go out and do fun things all the time."

"I know." Shino said. "That's why I constantly remind him that those things never happen."

Hinata sighed. "Kiba, how about you come on the sand and do something with Shino outside of the water?" she suggested.

"But…but…" Kiba stuttered as he started trudging out. "Well…okay…"

"Thanks Hinata." Said Shino sarcastically.

Hinata smiled, not catching the sarcasm. She frolicked back over to the women who were conversing.

"Aikan, how about you hold Kikei for a little while?" Tenten said as she cradled the screaming baby. "After all, he is YOUR son."

"Uh…" Aikan said, avoiding eye contact. "I think I'm going to go and… do something else…"

Tenten sighed as Aikan stood up and wandered off.

"Great!" said Tenten. "Lil Lee is nowhere to be found and Aikan refuses to hold Kikei!"

"I'LL hold him, Mrs. Rock!" said Kobiru as she held out her arms. "I need to practice anyway."

"Yeah, you'll have your own baby real soon!" said Tashoku excitedly.

"Oh…" said Kobiru. "Well, yeah. But I meant practice holding Kikei."

"Why would you need to practice something like that?" asked Ino.

"Well, once Lee realizes his true feelings for me, we'll eventually end up getting married and raise this little man together!" Kobiru announced openly.

Before anyone could react, Tashoku cleared her throat, grabbed Kobiru and pulled her to her feet. "I think we're going to go do something else with Aikan!" she said, dragging Kobiru off before she could say anything else outrageous.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Two million!" Pansuke said, putting the weights back down on the bar.

"Pansuke, I watched you." Said Sasuke Jr. "You were counting by millions and only did two."

"That's better than your ZERO." Said Pansuke, observing the fact that Sasuke Jr. still hadn't lifted his weights.

"Just take a few off." Urged Senjou.

"Yeah." Said Lil Lee. "Let people who want to use them, use them."

"I want to use them." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Let people who NEED to use them use them."

"Who says I don't need to do this?"

"Then let people who CAN lift the weights, lift them." Said Lil Lee with a sigh, knowing full well the consequences of his actions.

"Excuse me for not being SUPER MAN." Said Sasuke Jr. with the most intense Uchiha glare EVER.

"I never said I was Super Man!" Lil Lee said, getting on the defensive.

"You implied it." Said Sasuke Jr.

"Sometimes I wish I were Super Man." Said Senjou obliviously.

It was then that Aikan, Tashoku and Kobiru came in.

"Ew…it smells like men in here." Said Tashoku with a sigh.

"Hey!" said Pansuke, jumping up off the bench press. "Guess what?! I just did two million reps!"

"No you didn't." said all the other men.

Aikan laughed. "See?" she said. "That's why I like you Pansuke! You can joke about things every once and a while! If I had walked in on Lee bench pressing, he would announce that he had done two million reps… and it'd be true!"

"How can you not be impressed by that?" said Kobiru.

"It gets OLD after a while." Aikan said.

"You're just looking for a guy who's weaker than you." Said Kobiru. "Fine! You can HAVE Pansuke! I'd rather have a guy who can protect me anyway!"

"Good!" said Aikan. "So you can have Lee!"

"Fine!" said Kobiru.

"Fine!" said Aikan.

"Don't I have a say in this?!" demanded Lil Lee.

"NO!" yelled Aikan and Kobiru.

Pansuke was whistling to himself. He didn't know what to think anymore, but for some reason, he wasn't all that sad.

"Okay." Said Sasuke Jr. "Lee might not have any say in this but I know I do."

"Why would you have any say?" asked Pansuke.

"Shut up, Pansuke." Said Sasuke Jr. He turned to Aikan and Kobiru. "Stop being stupid. You can't just trade husbands like that."

"Is that all?" Tashoku asked. Sasuke Jr. nodded.

"LIL LEE!" sobbed Lil Gai, running over and hugging Lil Lee. "Say it ain't so!"

"Gai." sighed Lil Lee, actually accepting the hug but not returning it. "I wish I could."

"I WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME AND HELP YOU!!" Lil Gai sobbed.

"Look what he's been reduced to." Said Senjou, observing that Lil Lee was ALLOWING Lil Gai to hug him.

"Sad really." Said Pansuke.

"Indeed." Said Aikan.

"Don't say that about my boyfriend!" Kobiru yelled at Senjou.

"Hey…" said Senjou sadly. He would have punched Kobiru if not for two facts; one, she's a female. Two, she's extremely pregnant. So he just stood there with a dejected look on his face.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Oh Shika…" said Cho as he and Shika sat on the beach together, looking off at the sunset that wasn't really there. "How did it come to this?"

"Come to what, Cho?" Shika asked.

"Why were you cursed with such a weak twin?!" Cho cried, burying his face into Shika's shoulder.

"Cho…" sighed Shika as he patted Cho's back. "Cho, Cho, Cho."

Just then, Ino came over.

"What are you two doing?" she asked.

"Nothing!" they both answered immediately, pretending as though nothing was the matter at all.

Ino eyed them suspiciously. "Okay…" she said. "Is there anything that you two want to tell me?"

"What Sharingan?!" they both screamed.

Ino sighed and sat down next to them. "Are you two upset because you haven't gotten the Sharingan yet?" she asked.

"Uh…" they stuttered.

"It's all right!" said Ino. "Hana and Inoshi don't have the Sharingan either! Your father doesn't expect you two to get it too."

"Mother…" said Cho. "If we WERE to get the Sharingan, do you suppose we'd get it at the same time?"

"Um…" Ino thought out loud.

"Or do you suppose it's possible that only ONE of us would get the Sharingan?" Shika asked.

Ino paused. "…Do one of you have it?" she said.

"OH MOTHER!!" they both yelled as they burst into tears.

They both fell into Ino's arms, weeping pathetically.

"But isn't that…good news?" Ino asked. Then she paused. "Oh! These are happy tears, right?"

"No mother…" said Shika sadly. "For I have the Sharingan…"

"And I do not…" finished Cho.

"You'll probably get it soon, Cho." Ino said as if she knew. "I mean, you guys progress at virtually the same rate!"

"Apparently not!" they both yelled.

"Apparently…" Cho said. "I was not destined to be a ninja."

"Cho, don't be ridiculous." Ino said. "Have you told your father yet?"

They both looked up at her with horrified looks on their faces.

"We mustn't!" they both said.

"Why not?" Ino wondered. "He'll be thrilled to hear it!"

"NO!" said Shika.

"He will be ashamed that I could not achieve it!" Cho finished. Ino patted them both on the back.

"I think you're being ridiculous." She said.

"FAR from ridiculous." Shika said.

"Your father would be so proud!" Ino said. "He wouldn't care that one of you didn't get it!"

"WE care!!" yelled Cho. "I care!!"

"And the worst part is…" Shika started.

"UNCLE ITACHI KNOWS!!" they both yelled.

"What?" Ino said slowly. "You told Itachi, but you didn't tell your father?"

"No…" Cho said. "He just so happened to be there when Shika attained his status of a Sharinganed Uchiha."

"And I fear he will tell Father!" Shika said.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Do you guys realize how stupid you both sound?" she said, being frank with them.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Why are two of your sons so flamboyantly gay?" Naruto said to Sasuke, looking over and Shika and Cho having their conversation with Ino.

"Don't remind me." Sasuke said, trying not to look.

"There's nothing wrong with being incredibly gay!" Kiba said as he built a sand castle with Shino and Lee. Well, he and Lee were building the sand castle… Shino was just standing near it as if he was helping.

"I wonder when Inoshi will come back from the gym…" Chouji said, looking back at the gym as he sat on a beach towel in his candy-cane man's bathing suit. He had moved his towel next to where Shikamaru had fallen asleep on his OWN towel, but no one cared enough to remind him of his restraining order. Neji was sitting in his lounge chair, not involving himself in any conversation whatsoever, as Hichou dug a hole, filled it back up, and then dug the hole again.

"Dad!" Hichou screamed as he stood inside his hole.

"What is it Hichou?" Neji asked.

"BURY ME!" Hichou said excitedly.

"Oh how I wish." Neji muttered before turning to Hichou. "No Hichou, I will not bury you." Then he paused, looking at Hichou.

"Hichou, where is your bathing suit?" Neji asked, cursing the foul genes of Hichou's mother because OBVIOUSLY they didn't come from him.

"Shino, we can build this sandcastle for your bugs!" Kiba said happily.

"They don't want to live in it." Said Shino.

"How do you know that, Shino?" Kiba asked, looking hurt.

"They told me." Said Shino.

Kiba stared at Shino for a minute before burying his face in Lee's shoulder. "I'm a bad friend!"

"There there." Said Lee, patting Kiba on the back. Then he looked up at Shino and frowned. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself!"

"Whatever." Shino said.


	46. All hail the Gym Master!

MEANWHILE!!!

Shikataro and Inoshi were sitting next to each other on the opposite side of the gym as they watched the ongoing controversy concerning Pansuke, Lil Lee and their wives go on.

They looked at each other and sighed.

"So…" Shikataro said, leaning back. "What's up?"

Inoshi shrugged and looked at the floor.

"Why are you so flinchy?" Shikataro asked.

"What?" Inoshi said.

"Flinchy." Shikataro repeated.

"I don't understand." Inoshi defined his 'what'.

"I don't know." Shikataro shrugged. "Maybe flinchy isn't the right word. You're just so passive and stuff. Did you get beaten a lot?"

"…No…" Inoshi replied.

"Okay." Said Shikataro.

Then it was silent. Inoshi cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Well…it sure SEEMS that way…" Shikataro went on.

"I wasn't beaten." Inoshi said, looking a little offended that Shikataro wouldn't drop the subject. Even though Inoshi isn't all that partial to his family dynamics and is absolutely terrified of his father, he would have no one putting down the way things happened in the Uchiha clan. After all, even though Inoshi's way lame and will never achieve the Sharingan, he's still an Uchiha. And Uchihas of a feather must flock together.

"Sorry." Said Shikataro, catching that Inoshi was getting offended. "I'm just trying to start small talk."

Suddenly everyone in the gym became a fluster. Everything became all hectic as everyone was pushed around.

"What's going on?!" demanded Lil Gai as he fell over and was trampled by all the buff people in the gym.

"The Gym Master is here!" came the voice of some pre-pubescent teenage with acne who only came to the gym to pump himself up so that none of the big kids would beat him up.

"All hail the Gym Master!" all the weight lifters yelled as the crowd parted as if Moses had done it. A man walked in the door and down the path the people had created.

"Please don't kill me Mr. Gym Master, sir!" said one of the people there.

"Get away from the Gym Master!" said one of the men that walked alongside the Gym Master as if he needed any protecting.

"I think that now would be a good time to leave." Said Sasuke Jr. as he watched the Gym Master as if he had some sort of beef with him.

"Yeah." Said Lil Lee. "This guy was here last night and he was really annoying."

"I want to challenge him for his title!" Pansuke declared with such passionate passion.

"Pansuke, don't make me harm you." Said Sasuke Jr. as if Pansuke had suddenly challenged HIM for HIS title. What title? Oh I don't know. The title of Uchiha Sasuke the Second, maybe.

"HA HA HA!!" laughed the Gym Master since he was, of course, German. "I challenge the strongest man in this gym to try to defeat me! If there is a man brave enough to knock me down then he shall be renamed as the TRUE Gym Master!"

"It could never happen, Gym Master!!" yelled all the beefy guys as they bowed before their Gym Master.

"_I _challenge you, Gym Master!" said Pansuke as he stood up.

"Pansuke!" said Aikan. "You're so brave!"

Lil Lee glared at Pansuke. "Fine, then _I_ challenge the Gym Master too!"

"Lee, you're such a poser." Sighed Aikan, looking around as if ANYTHING could be more interesting.

"Don't worry about HER, Lee!" said Kobiru. "I'M impressed with you!!"

"Who first?" chuckled the Gym Master. "You're both girly men."

Pansuke looked offended. "I'm not a girly man!" said Pansuke. "Don't put me on the same level of girliness as Lee!"

"Then you first!" said the Gym Master.

"FINE!" said Pansuke as he pushed everyone who was around him. "STEP ASIDE! Let me show you how to defeat a Gym Master!"

"Go Pansuke!" cheered Aikan as she accumulated flags and a giant foam finger out of nowhere with Pansuke's face on it.

"I'm confiscating these things from you." Said Lil Gai as he snatched all the flags and foam finger from Aikan.

"Hey!" Aikan yelled but then didn't do anything about it.

Sasuke Jr. stood there for a minute.

"I could beat the Gym Master." He said, more to himself than anyone else. But he expected everyone else to hear him.

"But you don't need to, right?" Tashoku asked him.

"I think I do." Sasuke Jr. said with a nod. "I mean, if Pansuke beats him and I never even tried, how do you think that would look?"

"Well, we'd all KNOW you could beat him." Tashoku assured him.

"But I want to prove it." Said Sasuke Jr. "And all these people at the gym don't know it."

"Does that matter?" Tashoku asked.

"Yes." Said Sasuke Jr.

"I think you could beat him too." Said Senjou with a slight nod of approval.

"He's most likely strong but you probably shouldn't underestimate him." Tashoku said once she noticed that she wasn't going to get a break about this at all.

"I wasn't underestimating him." Sasuke Jr. said. Then he paused just as Tashoku opened her mouth. "I wasn't overestimating myself either."

"I wasn't going to say that." Tashoku said.

"All right, girly man, let's start this fight!" said the Gym Master as he pulled out his forehead protector and tied it around his forehead.

Pansuke looked disappointed for a second. "Oh." He said. "You're a ninja. I just thought you were some random guy lifting weights."

"I believe in you Pansuke!" said Aikan.

"Yeah Pansuke!" said Pansuke as he started flexing. "Yeah Pansuke!! YEAH PANSUKE!!!" With every flex and time he said 'Yeah Pansuke!', he grew another size larger.

The Gym Master was not afraid because he was still about three times bigger than Pansuke even after he tripled his size.

"Pansuke, what makes you think that you can beat this guy if you couldn't even beat my two incredibly gay brothers?" said Sasuke Jr.

"Hey!" said Pansuke. "They're JOUNINS! And there's TWO of them!"

"They're more worried about their battle uniforms than fighting." Sasuke Jr. said with an exasperated sigh.

"Sasuke, you're not the one fighting him." Said Tashoku. "You don't have to confuse and distract him."

"Oh yeah." Said Sasuke Jr.

"I'M a jounin too!" said the Gym Master so that the attention would come back to him. "And you?"

"Uh…" Pansuke said slowly. Then he paused. "Of course! Who isn't?!"

"You aren't." Senjou pointed out with a confused expression. "Or are you? Wait…neither am I!"

"No." said Pansuke. "I definitely am a Jounin!"

"No you're not!" Lil Lee said with a raised eyebrow.

"If you're not a Jounin, then I'm not going to bother fighting you." Said the Gym Master. "I don't like to waste my time or senseless injure people."

"I mean…yes he is?" Lil Lee said, at this point just wanting to see Pansuke get pummeled into next week.

Pansuke looked at Lil Lee as if the thought of him taking his side couldn't confuse him any more.

"Well then let's fight!" said the Gym Master.

"Yeah!" said Pansuke as he went to turn around only to have the Gym Master bop him once on the top of the head, pushing him into the ground like a nail.

"And the title remains mine!" said the Gym Master triumphantly as all of his minions ran over and showered him with praise and kisses and hugs and presents.

He turned over to everyone else who was potentially going to challenge him.

"The title is mine for a reason!" he said.

"Big deal." Muttered Sasuke Jr. to himself. "Anyone could beat Pansuke." Then he glanced over at Lil Lee and suddenly felt superior. "Well…almost anyone."

Lil Lee looked like he was going to explode with anger. "I beat YOU!" he reminded him.

"That's only because I gave up." Said Sasuke Jr. with a sigh.

"Because you knew I would beat you!" Lil Lee pointed out.

"You can keep telling yourself that." Said Sasuke Jr. "But we all know the TRUTH."

"You're the one with the warped sense of reality!" Lil Lee said angrily.

The Gym Master cleared his throat. "Who is my next challenger?" he said.


	47. FOOLS! You are too easily frightened!

MEANWHILE!!!

"Sasuke…" said Ino as she pulled the twins over. "Shika and Cho have something they need to tell you."

"You're not really gay?" Sasuke said, looking as though he had been expecting this for a long time. "You're just metro sexual?"

"No… we are." Said Shika.

"Metro sexual?" Sasuke said, looking hopeful.

"No, gay." Cho clarified.

"Oh." Said Sasuke with a sigh.

"Sasuke." Said Ino sternly. "It's something important and you need to listen to them. Shika? Cho?"

"Uh…" they both stuttered as they twiddled their fingers nervously just as there was a crash of lighting and suddenly there was a woman in a black Kankuro-ish type body suit with a golden tiara on her head that matched all of her golden bling bling.

"I will have my revenge!!" she yelled. "How dare you kill my brothers!! We will STILL get our information!! Where is the Hokage?!"

She looked around and everyone pointed at Shikamaru who was tip-toeing away.

"Wow, thanks guys." Said Shikamaru when he noticed everyone was pointing at him.

"Hichou, you know what you must do." Said Neji, picking his book up.

"Dad!" Hichou said, grunting a little. "I can't! I buried myself!"

"Please tell me you're…" started Neji as he turned to see Hichou in the ground up to his neck.

"I used my chakra to pack it down so I'm in here pretty tightly too." Hichou said with a sigh.

"Hichou, get out of that hole this instant." Neji said, his voice rising slightly.

"Dad." Hichou said as he stopped struggling.

"What is it, Hichou?" Neji asked through clenched teeth.

"Before I get out, do you think you could find my bathing suit?" Hichou asked. Neji looked dumbfounded for a minute. "It's probably around here somewhere but I forget if I buried it or not."

"Hichou you dishonor me." Neji said as he stood up because now he had to defend HIMSELF from the hoard of ninjas that were running toward him. He was just about to gentle fist them when suddenly there was a flash of bright colors and they were knocked aside.

"Have no fear!" said Shika, striking a pose.

"For we are…" Cho said, mimicking his pose.

"THE STYLISH DUO OF KONOHA!!" they both said together.

They were just about to fight when Cho paused.

"Wait…do I deserve to be part of this team anymore?" he asked. "I mean… am I even pulling my weight?"

"Of COURSE Cho!" Shika said.

"But, if you're going to be doing all the Sharinganning from now on, that's more responsibility on you!" Cho said, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Then I shan't use it!" Shika said dramatically.

"What's this talk of a Sharingan I hear?" said Sasuke as he popped up in between them.

"You didn't know?!" said Itachi as he popped up in between them as well so he was just inches away from Sasuke.

"YOU knew?!" Sasuke demanded.

"Of course I knew!!" said Itachi.

"You told HIM?!" Sasuke yelled at his two sons.

"I'm only causing trouble for you, Shika!" said Cho as he buried his face in his hands and went to run away crying. "Use your Sharingan and defeat the ninjas!"

"Where's a bunch of young men when you need them?" said Tenten as she looked longingly at the Gym.

"HAHAHA!!" laughed the Tiara Woman as she ran over to Shikamaru who ducked down so she foolishly tripped over him and landed on her face. "HEY!! What'd you do that for?!"

Shikamaru was so dumbfounded that he didn't even know how to react to that, so fifty ninjas came out of nowhere and jumped on top of him.

"OH NO!!!" exclaimed everyone.

"SHIKAMARU!!!" Chouji yelled as he went sprinting towards the pile. All the ninjas looked up and saw Chouji stampeding towards them faster than the speed of light so they screamed for their lives and dove out of the way just in time. "Oh Shikamaru, I have rescued you!" said Chouji as he caressed Shikamaru who couldn't get away fast enough.

"Restraining order!!!" Shikamaru yelled, pushing Chouji far from him.

"But Shikamaru…" Chouji wept as Shikamaru backing away from him. "I rescued you!"

"And I appreciate the rescuing but I really could do without you caressing me the way you just were." Shikamaru said.

"I was not!" Chouji yelled as if he were offended.

"So I'll ask again…" Sasuke said as he cleared his throat. Even though he pretty much knew what was going down at this point, he still wanted to hear it. "What is this I hear about a Sharingan?"

"We were just talking about how cool it would be if we had it." Said Shika with a nervous smile.

"No Shika!" Cho said, pushing his twin slightly. "You mustn't lie! Tell father the truth!"

"This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" Shika sobbed.

"Worst?" Sasuke asked. "How is it even BAD?"

"Because…" Shika said, looking toward Cho who just nodded.

"Go on." He sniffed. "You can tell him what a failure I am."

"No Cho!" Shika yelled. "NEVER a failure!"

"Just tell him!" Cho said, clenching his fist dramatically.

"Are you sure?" Shika asked.

"Of course, Shika." Cho said, wiping his eyes.

Shika turned back toward Sasuke.

"Father…" he said slowly. "It is true that I have obtained the Sharingan. But I'm afraid that Cho has not."

"Oh." Said Sasuke. "That's great news, Shika!"

"HOW IS THAT GREAT?!" Shika yelled as he and Cho hugged each other and started crying.

"Because…you got your Sharingan…" Sasuke said slowly as not to upset them anymore.

"But Cho didn't get his!" said Shika.

"Aren't you ashamed of me?" said Cho, lowering his head.

"Not ALL Uchihas get their Sharingan." Said Itachi. "And it probably took so long to bloom in your brother here because you were always there holding him back, like some sort of giant bug who just keeps… holding him back."

"You're right!" cried Cho.

"Shut up, Itachi!" said Sasuke.

"I hardly think you have any place to tell me to shut up!" said Itachi.

"And YOU don't have any place to be here at all!" Sasuke said. "So we're even!"

"Pssst…" came a few voices behind them. They all turned around to see the evil ninjas standing there looking awkward.

"Oh right." Said everyone else.

"I will fight!!!" yelled Lee as he sprung up. "CHARGE!!!!"

"ARGH!!!" yelled the ninjas as they ran away from Lee because of his horrible green Speedo.

"FOOLS!!" yelled the Tiara lady. "You are too easily frightened!!"

"COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME!!!" Lee screamed at the ninjas.

MEANWHILE!!!

"So if I defeat you and become Gym Master, I get my poster hung up and you guys all worship me?" Sasuke Jr. asked as if he had to decide whether or not he wanted to be Gym Master.

"THAT'S RIGHT!!" yelled all the buff people as they waved their hands in the air.

"Do I get anything else?" he asked.

The men looked at each other and shrugged their enormous shoulders.

"It doesn't matter because you could NEVER DEFEAT ME!!" the Gym Master laughed.

Well, unless you're new, you know that that kind of thing is NEVER the kind of thing you say to an Uchiha unless you're trying to use reverse psychology.

"…neeeever defeat him…because you're never going to fight him!" Tashoku said as she side stepped in front of Sasuke Jr. who started advancing on the Gym Master angrily.

"When did I say I wasn't going to fight him?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"Did you just say that it wasn't worth it?" Tashoku asked him, trying to block his view of the Gym Master so that maybe Sasuke Jr. would forget about him.

"Technically he didn't say it like that." Senjou said. Then he looked at Tashoku who was frowning at him. At first he was confused and offended because he couldn't possibly fathom why Tashoku would be mad at HIM. But after a few minutes of thinking in which everyone waited for him, he eventually figured it out. "But we all knew he was thinking it."

"Right." Said Tashoku, looking pleased. Senjou smiled at her pleasantly and completely forgot about the event.

"Wait a second." Said Lil Lee as he stopped Sasuke Jr.'s path to the Gym Master. "I'M first."

"Why should you be first?" Said Sasuke Jr.

"Because I want to fight this guy at full strength to prove to my wife how much of a better fighter I am than Pansuke." Said Lil Lee, pointing at Aikan who was caressing Pansuke in his state of unconsciousness.

"I don't think she's really paying attention." Sasuke Jr. said bluntly.

"She WILL." Said Lil Lee, but he was really just convincing HIMSELF.

"I'M paying attention, Lee!!" said Kobiru.

"Lil Lee!!!" screamed Lil Gai as he slid over and grabbed both Lil Lee's legs. "Don't do it!! I BEG YOU!!!"

"Why?" said Lil Lee, looking annoyed as everyone in the gym once again stared at him, and he had to once again reassure them that they were brothers, and everyone once again coughed, and he had to once again once again assure them they were only brothers.

"Because I'm afraid that KOBIRU will be the only one who gets impressed!" Lil Gai announced.

"Gai…let go of me." Said Lil Lee.

"NEVER!!!" yelled Lil Gai.

"Then I guess it's you and me, puny man!" said the Gym Master, pointing dramatically at Sasuke Jr.

"_PUNY MAN_?!" said Sasuke Jr. in the most offended tone he has EVER used. And you gotta think… that's pretty offended right there. And once he got to the point of being THAT offended, there was nothing ANYONE could say or do that would stop him from doing whatever it is he needs to do to make himself not offended anymore.

"He's serious now." Said Senjou as if he was some sort of expert on Sasuke Jr. and no one else knew anything about him. "He's gonna fight now."

"Thank you Senjou." Said Tashoku, rolling her eyes.

"You're welcome!" Senjou said excitedly since he wasn't expecting anyone to appreciate his information as much as Tashoku appeared to have.

"Am I the only one who's not going to challenge the Gym Master?" Shikataro asked out loud.

"I'm not going to." Inoshi said, pointing to himself.

"You don't count." Shikataro said.

"Why don't I count?" Inoshi asked with a frown. He couldn't help but get offended. He's an Uchiha. They are always at least a little offended for no reason.

Shikataro looked at Inoshi with a face that certainly said that Inoshi should know the answer and that Shikataro is far too lazy to tell.

"It's because you think I'm a bad fighter, don't you?" Inoshi asked. "I could beat…" then he paused and rethought his statement. "I could fight the Gym Master if I wanted to!"

"Then why don't you?" Shikataro asked.

"Because I don't want to." Inoshi said. "And Sasuke is already fighting him."

"Doesn't look like it." Shikataro said, looking over at Sasuke Jr. who was knocked out with one firm punch to the face.

"He didn't even hit you Gym Master!" said one of the slaves.

"I'm the Gym Master for a reason!" the Gym Master announced again.

"He already said that…" Senjou observed randomly.

"Sasuke!" said Tashoku as she lightly slapped Sasuke Jr.'s face in attempt to wake him up. But even if he DID wake up, he'd be about as discombobulated as baby Grumpy Bear with a diaper on his head and his bottle in backwards.

"WOW!!!" yelled Lil Gai. "This guy is really strong!! You can't do it, Lil Lee!!"

"Gai, if you don't let go of me right now…" started Lil Lee, clenching his fist in rage. But he was unable to even finish his sentence before he punched Lil Gai and sent him hurtling across the room.

"Lee!" said Aikan, putting her hands on her hips after she had looked up for a split second from taking care of Pansuke. "He was just worried about you!"

"But…" Lil Lee started.

"It's all right!" said Lil Gai as he crawled through the wall and put his thumb up. "No pain, no gain!"

"Is there anyone else man enough to challenge the Gym Master?!" said the Gym Master as he flexed his muscles and his shirt exploded, so he quickly donned a new one.

"I am!" said Lil Lee. "And I can only hope that you have techniques OTHER than punching people while they're not paying attention!"

"WAIT!" said Lil Gai as he ran over. "My big brother here can't defend against ninjutsu or genjutsu attacks, so don't use any of those so it can be a FAIR FIGHT!"

Lil Lee's eye twitched as he looked at Lil Gai. "Gai…" he said, taking a deep hoot breath. "Why…would…you…say…that?"

"Because I want it to be a fair fight!" said Lil Gai as he tears streamed down his cheeks.

Lil Lee looked over at the Gym Master who was smirking deviously.

"Now that I know this information, there's no way this can possibly be fair." The Gym Master said with an evil tone to his voice.

"You wouldn't!" Lil Lee yelled, looking as though he was about to cry.

"Now…" thought the Gym Master. "Should I use the Genjutsu which makes it so that you think you're in another world and therefore can't fight or should I just go with a nice and easy sleep jutsu?"

"ANYTHING but the sleep jutsu!" Lil Lee pleaded.

"I think so too." Said the Gym Master as he put his hands up in a hand seal and performed Pansuke's famous sleep attack and defeated Lil Lee easily.

"LEE!" Kobiru yelled, running over to caress Lil Lee who could do nothing about it in his state of slumber.

"We love you Gym Master!" all his minions cheered.

"Anyone else care to challenge the Gym Master?!" the Gym Master yelled, banging on his chest.

Everyone looked at Lil Gai and Senjou standing there. They didn't bother looking at Shikataro or Inoshi because that would be wasting their energy by turning their neck in that direction.

"I SHALL AVENGE YOU LIL LEE!" Lil Gai yelled as he ran toward the Gym Master only to be slapped aside easily. "NOOOOO!!" Lil Gai sobbed. "I must work to get stronger and defeat the Gym Master to reclaim my brother's honor!"

And, AS he was standing up, the Gym Master slapped him to the side and he was sent pummeling into the wall AGAIN, creating an identical hole in the wall next to the one he created earlier.

"All right, Senjou, you have to avenge them ALL." Said Tashoku.

"Me?" said Senjou. "Why me? Why can't you?"

"I'm pregnant!" said Tashoku.

"Oh right." Said Senjou.

"AND you're the leader of ANBU." Tashoku pointed out.

"HA!" interrupted the Gym Master. "YOU? Leader of ANBU?!"

Senjou sighed. "Yes…" he said. "Though, I'm a little hesitant to fight you even WITH that rank because you beat my older brother so easily…"

"YOU can beat him easily." Tashoku reminded him.

"But he's my older brother so I don't!" Senjou said.

"That's not the issue here." Tashoku said. "The issue is defeating the Gym Master so you can avenge Sasuke, Pansuke, Lee and Gai."

"Why?" said Senjou. "He's the Gym Master. I'm sure people challenge him all the time."

"Exactly." Said Tashoku. "So now it's YOUR turn."

"No way." Said Senjou. "If _I _was the Gym Master, I would be pretty sad if people challenged to fight me all the time and wanted to steal my title as the Gym Master."

"He's the one who lumbered in here and provoked people into fighting him!" Tashoku said.

"That's not true." Said Senjou. "Everyone just leapt at the chance to pick a fight."

Tashoku gritted her teeth. "Inoshi!" she yelled. "Talk some sense into your brother! He might listen to YOU!"

"Why are you dragging me into this Tashoku?" asked Inoshi as he stood idly by.

"Because all the men are unconscious!"

"That's not true." Said Senjou. "Me, Inoshi and Shikataro are still conscious."

"Exactly!" Tashoku said. "And if you're such a man, then you should fight the Gym Master and steal his title!"

"But I don't want to be the Gym Master." Said Senjou wistfully.

"Like you COULD!" the Gym Master chuckled. All of his minions laughed too like posers and slapped him five.

"Aw yeah." Said one of them.

"That's what I'm talkin' about." Said another one.

"Let's just leave." Said Senjou. "He can keep his title."

"I'm up for leaving." Said Shikataro.

"I never wanted to come." Said Inoshi.

"I never wanted to come more than you." Said Shikataro. Inoshi frowned and looked slightly offended. Surely that wasn't true. Where was Shikataro getting off saying outrageous things like that?

"What kind of Uchiha doesn't want to get revenge on everything that breathes?" Tashoku sighed.

"I don't know what kinds of things my brother is drilling into your head but that is certainly not true!" said Senjou.

"Don't bother." Said Kobiru since, contrary to popular belief, she IS there. "Let's just go out where all of our unconscious heroes can get a breath of fresh air!"

"That's a good idea!" said Aikan.

"But he's not REALLY unconscious." Said Tashoku, pointing at Lil Lee. "All you have to do is dispel the jutsu."

"Well…" Kobiru hesitated. "We'll wait until we're outside the gym, otherwise he'll just want to challenge the Gym Master again!"

"No one can defeat me!!!" the Gym Master yelled randomly.

"Let's just let him live in his fantasy world and not burst his bubble." Said Senjou with a shrug.

Tashoku gave an exasperated sigh and decided not to bother. She would have liked to have her husband avenged, but she could live without it happening.

When everyone dragged the unconscious people outside, they found a disturbing sight! EVIL NINJAS ATTACKING EVERYONE!!


	48. I sure hope no one kidnaps me

"OH NO!" yelled Kobiru. "If only I wasn't pregnant, then I would help! But I'll just have to stay here and protect Lee in his state of unconsciousness!"

"Kobiru, really." Said Tashoku as she dispelled the Genjutsu and Lil Lee sat up looking discombobulated…ALMOST as discombobulated as Grumpy Bear with his diaper on his head and his bottle in backwards. But not quite.

"Did I beat the Gym Master?" asked Lil Lee. Everyone nodded and decided to humor him and tell him that he was the new Gym Master. Boy would he be in for a shock when he went back to that gym only to find that he wasn't the Gym Master!

"They don't look like they're faring to well." Observed Kobiru, looking over at everyone else fighting.

"We must help!" Tashoku said. Then she paused and looked at everyone else. "Well, go on."

"The only people out of the lot of us that can actually fight right now are me, Senjou and Lee." Said Aikan as she pointed to each person respectively.

"Don't sound too disappointed." Lil Lee said to her as the two of them made their way over to the battle field, leaving the pregnant people to care for the unconscious people.

"I wasn't disappointed Lee." Said Aikan as she rolled her eyes. "When did I say I was disappointed?"

"You didn't say it." Said Lil Lee. "You just sounded like you were."

"Whatever Lee." Said Aikan.

"It's not 'whatever' Aikan." Said Lil Lee with a glare.

"Why can't anything ever be 'whatever'?" Aikan said. "You always have to drag everything out and make it painfully long."

"I'm not dragging it out!" Lil Lee argued.

"By continuing to argue with me and saying 'not whatever', you're dragging it out." Said Aikan as the two of them came upon the battle grounds. "Nothing can ever just be DROPPED or LET GO."

"How am I supposed to just let go of the fact that you me with a kid and with no explanation?" Lil Lee demanded. "And then, I find you later and you throw excuses at me that are completely unjustified and not true, and probably things that you had to rehearse and make up so you had an excuse OTHER than you thought our child was hideous and just didn't want to look at him anymore!"

Aikan paused for a moment, trying to decipher what Lil Lee had just said.

"LIL LEE!!!" came the voice of Lee Sr. as he ran over and threw himself at Lil Lee's feet. "SAVE me!!"

"Dad, you can fend for yourself perfectly well." Said Lil Lee. "You don't need me to watch over you."

Lil Lee rolled over and clutched his heart. "I feel like this is the end." He sighed dramatically. "The only way I can be saved is…if you two… settle your differences and work together…"

"Dad…" Lil Lee said, slapping his forehead.

"Whatever!" said Aikan. "Lee, you take care of all the ninjas over there, and I'll take care of the ninjas over here!"

With that, she stormed off.

"See what you did, Dad?!" said Lil Lee. "We were actually getting somewhere and YOU had to pull your stupid pretending to die act!"

"I wasn't pretending!!" said Lee, jumping to his feet and looking ungry. Yes, that is a mix between hungry and angry and that's the emotion that Lee appeared to be.

"Shika!" Cho yelled dramatically as a large ninja barreled toward Shika like a football player going in for the tackle.

"What is it—" started Shika but he was knocked over and sent hurtling to the sand in slow motion.

"SHIKAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Cho screamed, running over with his eyes closed tightly and tears streaming from them. He fought the ninja, sobbing heavily but never opening his eyes for he allowed his heart to fight for him!!

When the large ninja was defeated, Cho turned to Shika.

"Shika, are you all right?" Cho asked.

Shika gasped dramatically.

"Never better Cho!" he said happily.

"You have no wounds, dear brother?" Cho asked, bending over to kneel next to Shika.

"No Cho, I have no wounds." Said Shika, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a compact mirror. "But gaze into this mirror!"

"With pleasure!" Cho said, taking the mirror. "Is my hair out of place?"

Then he gasped dramatically similar to how Shika had gasped earlier if not exactly the same.

"Shika!" he said.

"Yes Cho!" said Shika as he began to cry happily. "You have the Sharingan as well!"

"Oh happy day!" Cho said as the two of them embraced.

"See, Cho?" said Shika as they nuzzled. "I am no better than you! We are equal, as always! It was just a short delay, as your Sharingan waited for the opportune moment to appear!"

"Shika, you are so wise!" said Cho. "I am so lucky to have such a fantastic twin!"

"I must agree!" Shika exclaimed.

"Hey, will you two stop fondling each other and fight some more ninjas?!" Lil Lee yelled as he fended off about a million ninjas.

"Of course!" they both said as they jumped to their feet and turned their Sharingans on at the same time. They nodded at each other and whipped out their enormous weapons.

"Somebody save me…" Shikamaru whined as an evil ninja ran over to him, grabbed him and threw him over his shoulder.

"Shikamaru, stop being so lazy and do something to save YOURSELF!" Ino said, as if the mere thought of saving Shikamaru offended her.

"I paid my dues to the village." Said Shikamaru. "I think I deserve to be saved."

"HAHA!" laughed the evil ninjas. "Now our mission is complete!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled everyone as they did nothing to save Shikamaru from his inevitable fate of having to reveal secret information.

All the evil ninjas got together and stood there like big stupid stuffed animals as they stared at Shikamaru and waited for something to happen. But Shikamaru was waiting for THEM to do something.

Suddenly, Lil Lee leapt forward and kicked all the ninjas into each other and Aikan jumped into the group and grabbed Shikamaru's hand and pulled him away.

"Don't worry Mr. Hokage!" she said. "We'll rescue you!"

"Finally." Said Shikamaru as he allowed Aikan to drag him away, leaving Lil Lee to fight the ninjas by himself.

"Where is my family?" Ino wondered out loud to herself as she looked around. She beamed proudly at Shika and Cho as they were fighting their hearts out each with their respected lame-o half-developed Sharingans. She looked over to see Hana out fighting some random female ninja out on the water. She skipped over Inoshi who was hanging out with Neji and being protected by Hichou. Her eyes fell upon Sasuke Jr. who was unconscious and she sighed to herself. Her husband and third son were nowhere in sight. "Well…I'm certainly not going to waste my energy THIS time around…"

Then she decided that maybe she should join the fight as well.

Sakura had a similar trail of thought. But when she finished, she didn't start fighting because she's not a ninja. But we knew that.

Tenten, to be honest, didn't even notice that Lil Gai was missing and was too busy watching Aikan and Lil Lee to see if anything transpired.

Hinata knew Tashoku wasn't fighting. If Hinata were to find out that she WAS in her state, she'd be cross. However, it's not like Hinata being cross is a particularly threatening sight. Hinata did, however, wonder where Kiba was.

Kiba on the other hand, was looking for Shino.

"SHINO!!!" Kiba called. "OH SHINO!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Then he literally stumbled upon Shino who was sitting with his two younger daughters.

"Oh, hi Shino." Said Kiba.

"What do you want?" said Shino.

"What do you mean?" Kiba asked, looking confused.

"You've been wandering around while foolishly calling my name ever since the ninjas got here." Shino replied. "What do you want?"

"Oh, that." Said Kiba as he wedged himself in between Jijo and Shino. "I was just wondering where you were."

Shino didn't even know how to react to that, so he didn't.

"Speaking of the ninjas, Shino," Kiba continued. "Why aren't YOU fighting them? You could use your bugs."

"I know I could." Said Shino.

"Then why don't you?" Kiba asked.

"I don't know." Said Shino. "I don't feel like it."

"That's hardly a good reason at all!" Kiba said as if he was offended.

"Well, it's the same reason why YOU'RE not fighting." Shino pointed out.

Kiba laughed as if Shino had just cracked a joke. "Oh Shino." He said. "The reason I'm not fighting is because I was looking for you. I can hardly say that the reason YOU'RE not fighting is because you were looking for you too! Because of course you would know where you are!"

"Kiba, if you ever wonder why I never say anything, it's because I am so dumbfounded by what comes out of your mouth that I am unable to respond." Shino said frankly.

"Shino, you're just jealous." Said Kiba with a glare.

"I rest my case." Said Shino with a sigh.

"If we used our bugs, people would die." Said Jijo.

"And we'd be murderers." Said Sanjo.

"I sure hope no one kidnaps me." Said Shikataro out loud. Then he cleared his throat. "I sure hope NO ONE KIDNAPS ME!"

Shikataro put his hands on his hips and looked around.

"Geez…they kidnap you when you don't want them to but not when you do." He said. Then he saw Tiara woman and waved her down.

"Haha!" laughed Tiara Woman as she ran over to Shikataro while waving her sack. She was just about to give it a mighty swing and put Shikataro into it when he suddenly put his hand up.

"Stop." He said.

"What?" Tiara Woman asked.

"I'll climb in myself this time." He said as he took the bag from her and stepped into it. "At least this way, I don't have to be upside down."

He then pulled the bag over his head and sat down.

"I HAVE CAPTURED THE HOKAGE'S SON!" Tiara Woman announced to the world.

Everyone gasped. Luckily they didn't see Shikataro climb into the sack or else they might not have been so quick to rescue him.

Shikamaru, however DID see Shikataro climb in and knew he was just doing it for attention. But it's not like Shikamaru was jumping to save Shikataro anyway.


	49. This is the great Captain Kakashi’s ship

MEANWHILE!!!

"I really wish I was a better ninja about now…" said Moujo as she ducked her head as an evil ninja went flying overhead.

"Well, maybe if you tried a little bit instead of just standing there cowering in fear!" said Kajitsu angrily as she stomped over.

Moujo looked offended. "I am doing the best I can!" she said.

"The best you can do is stand around cowering in fear?!" Kajitsu demanded.

"Hey!" said Sasuke Two. "Stop arguing with EACH OTHER and fight the ninjas!"

"Why don't you?!" they both yelled.

Sasuke Two gave an exasperated sigh. "I've already told you, my father never stressed being a ninja as important!" she said.

Then Hana walked over. "Actually, all the evil ninjas seem to be dispersing." She said. "I think they're all going over there to the one holding the giant sack who is obviously the leader."

"Oh." Kajitsu observed. "Then I guess we can go in the opposite direction and NOT towards that."

"Sure, Kajitsu." Said Hana. "You do that since you're obviously too scared and weak. I'M going to go and help!"

"I am NOT too scared!" Kajitsu insisted. "When did I ever imply that I was in the least bit scared at all?"

"Oh I don't know." Said Hana nonchalantly. "Maybe it was when you thought it would be a better idea to run away from the fight as opposed to helping everyone out."

"I'm just saying that they probably don't need our help." Said Kajitsu. "And since they're all congregating together, I assume they're going to do something super powerful."

"That is SO like to you to assume things, Kajitsu." Said Hana. "Like that time we were…"

"Don't bring THAT up!" Kajitsu groaned. "That is so like YOU to bring up something over six months old!"

"It was two months ago and you know it!" said Hana getting all in Kajitsu's face.

"No I remember it happened BEFORE Cornelius' birthday!" Kajitsu said. "Remember, he mentioned living to see his next birthday! And his birthday was five months ago!"

"Shows how much you know your own teammate!" said Hana. "His birthday was two months ago."

"You're making that up!" Kajitsu said.

"I am not!" Hana said. "Just because I know when his birthday is—"

"Yeah." Said Kajitsu with a sly face. "It's because you're in love with him."

"What?!" Hana demanded. "ME…in love with CORNELIUS?!"

"Don't deny it." Kajitsu said.

"Of course I'm going to deny something that isn't true!" Hana said angrily.

"Cut it out!" said Moujo, getting in between the two of them before they mauled each other. "It's getting annoying. I'm just going to say once and for all that it doesn't matter whether we go over there and fight or not because I'm SURE Senjou will take care of EVERYTHING!"

"Senjou?" said Sasuke Two. "Wait…is he the short one with dark hair and blue eyes?"

"Yeah…" said Moujo, sighing dreamily.

"He went that way a long time ago." Sasuke Two said, pointing in a direction opposite to that of the battle.

"Why?" said Hana, looking in that direction in attempt to find him but having no avail.

"He was following some old guy with white hair and a patch." Sasuke Two replied as if that was OKAY and NORMAL.

"Oh." Said Hana, not fully grasping the severity of the situation. "That must be my dad's teacher, Kakashi. I thought he left after Kiba's anniversary though."

"He must have come back." Said Kajitsu with a shrug.

MEANWHILE!!!

"BWA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed the Tiara lady.

"Will SOMEBODY kill her or something?" Said Neji, sounding annoyed as he attempted to read his book. He had long since gotten Hichou out of the sand and located his bathing suit and was now benefiting from the relaxation of not having to worry about his fate.

"I could use one of my fire moves." Sasuke decided as he went to go and form the hand seals but Ino stopped him.

"Two things." She said. "Those never work and you don't want to incinerate Shikamaru's son."

"But he won't end up incinerating Shikamaru's son if they never work, right?" said Naruto.

"Naruto, will you fight or something?!" Sakura yelled. "You're the one who was going on about how you were a ninja, remember? Why don't you do something useful?!"

"Oh sure Sakura." Said Naruto. "Use my super powerful death move while Shikamaru's kid is in a back in the enemy's hand."

"I wasn't saying do something THAT drastic!" Sakura yelled.

"What else IS there to do?!" Naruto demanded. Sakura looked ready to smack him.

"Come on guys!" she said impatiently. "We used to be some of Konoha's best ninjas!"

Ino coughed slightly.

"What?" Sakura asked.

Ino paused.

"When you say 'we'…" she started. "Do you include yourself?"

MEANWHILE!!

"And here's my ship." Said Kakashi as he pointed to a barrel floating in the water with a flag sticking out of it.

Senjou stood there for a minute.

"This is the great Captain Kakashi's ship?" he said, looking mightily disappointed. Kakashi paused.

"No." said Kakashi quickly. "This is the pod to get to my ship."

"What do you mean?" Senjou asked.

Kakashi pointed to the horizon.

"I don't know if you can see it from here…" he said.

Senjou squinted.

"I think I see it." He said, pointing out slightly. "Is that it?"

"Yes." Said Kakashi. "It's out there. And since I can't bring such a HUGE ship in, I have to take this smaller one in order to land."

"I get it!" Senjou said with a nod.

"Would you like to go for a ride?" Kakashi asked. "I could take you out to my ship."

Senjou looked as though he was about to faint.

"May I inquire as to what is going on?" came Itachi's voice as he strolled over.

"Oh, hi Uncle Itachi." Said Senjou pleasantly as if Itachi DIDN'T kill the whole clan and his existence WASN'T a secret kept from him for his entire life so he wouldn't follow in his footsteps. "Captain Kakashi was just showing me to his pirate ship."

Itachi looked at the barrel floating in the water and then at Kakashi.

"I see." He said.

"Cause I'm a pirate." Said Kakashi.

"You are?" said Itachi, looking impressed.

"Yes." Kakashi answered.

"You certainly are a man of many talents!" said Itachi. "Can I see it too?!"

"Sure." Said Kakashi. "There's room for both of you on the pod."

"YAY!" cheered Itachi AND Senjou as they got on the barrel. It barely stayed afloat under the collective weight, so it was a good thing they were both so petite.

"But Captain Kakashi…" said Senjou, looking depressed. "How will you get to your ship?"

"My crew will send another pod along shortly." Kakashi replied as he gave the barrel a push and the two of them started going out towards the open ocean. As Kakashi watched them go, he suddenly realized what he had done and didn't know whether to chuckle warmly or turn himself in.

After a few more moments of waiting, Kakashi sighed and made his way back to the battle to find someone to confess his wrong doings to.

"Kakashi, you're back." Said Sasuke. "This isn't the best time though. A bunch of evil ninjas have Shikamaru's son in a sack again."

"And this time there are no Inuzukas and their dogs to save him!" said Kiba dramatically.

"We certainly are in a pickle because everyone who is young and strapping and capable of fighting is either unconscious or so absorbed in the fact that they have a new Sharingan that they can't fight." Said Lee. "Well, except Lil Lee of course. HE'S conscious. But he is busy over there." He pointed at Lil Lee and Aikan who were fighting… OMG TOGETHER!!! But there were so many evil ninjas attacking them that they couldn't stray away for even a SECOND to save Shikataro and no one really seemed like they felt like helping them.

"Okay." Said Kakashi, forgetting why he had come in the first place. He stared at Sasuke for a second. "Sasuke…"

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, hypothetically if you were to lose one of your children mysteriously, which one would it be?" Kakashi asked.

Sasuke glared at Kakashi for a second.

"We're in the middle of a fight and you're asking me hypothetical questions?" he asked.

"Yes." Said Kakashi. "This is important, now just answer."

"None of them of course." Sasuke said.

"Look underneath the underneath." Said Kakashi, hoping that maybe that would help.

Sasuke stared at Kakashi.

"Why do you ask this anyway?" he asked.

"Well, let's just say…oh I don't know…SENJOU were to mysteriously disappear." Kakashi said. "On a scale of one to ten, how distraught would you be?"

"Ten." Sasuke said, giving Kakashi the hardest and scariest glare he could muster.

"Ten being EXTREMELY distraught and one being not distraught at all." Kakashi continued as if Sasuke hadn't answered his question already.

"Ten!" Sasuke repeated.

"Now if I were to ask the same question of Ino…" Kakashi started but Sasuke interrupted him.

"Did something happen to Senjou?" he asked.

"No!" said Kakashi in that 'don't be silly!' tone. "What gave you that idea?"

Sasuke's face fell.

"What did you do." He demanded.

"Dad!" came Hana's voice as she came running up, quickly followed by Kajitsu, Moujo and Sasuke Two. "Do you want us to do anything to help? Where's Sasuke?"

"Sasuke is over there unconscious." Sasuke answered, sounding a little woeful for a moment.

"And what about—" Hana started.

"WAIT a second." Said Shikamaru as he came over. "I DEMAND that someone save my son before anything else is done or said."

"Talk to THEM, not us." Said Kiba, pointing at Lil Lee and Aikan who were still quite busy.

Shikamaru frowned and then stomped over to where they were battling, while also managing to discuss their relationship or lack-thereof in the process.

"If YOU hadn't been so pessimistic all the time then I wouldn't have HAD to leave!" Aikan yelled as she Judo chopped a ninja.

"Don't put the blame on ME!" Lil Lee said angrily as he dodged a punch and tossed the ninja who had attacked him a million miles away. "You left me with an infant son with no explanation at all!"

"Like I said, you were to pessimistic!" Aikan said.

"If you had taken the time to TALK to me about it then maybe I could have done something!" Lil Lee argued.

"Hang on!" Shikamaru yelled as everyone stopped, including the evil ninjas, and they all looked at him, waiting. He gave a heavy sigh. "Is it too much to ask for you two to avert your attention away from your troubled marriage and this pack of random evil ninjas and go over to the boss lady and save my son?"

Aikan and Lil Lee looked at each other.

"Well, we can step away from this pack of random evil ninjas, but we won't stop discussing our marriage." Aikan said.

"Fine." Said Shikamaru. "I can deal with that."

Lil Lee and Aikan were just about to go over to Tiara Lady when suddenly, out of nowhere, a big black cloud attacked and ate her leaving nothing left but her tiara.

Everyone looked around with confused expressions for a minute when suddenly the dark cloud went over to Shino, Jijo and Sanjo.

"I was getting sick of this." Shino said as the black cloud, which was actually a whole bunch of bugs, went back into the three bugged Aburames.

"Go dad!" Moujo cheered. "You're the best!"

"Ahem." Said Jijo.

"We helped too." Said Sanjo.

"I saw!" said Moujo, going over to congratulate them. "But I could tell that dad did most of the work."

"He did." Said Sanjo, not about to deny it.

"They helped enough." Said Shino, patting them on the head as the two younger Aburames adjusted their sunglasses.


	50. Well, for one thing, I don’t

Shikataro climbed out of his sack.

"Seventeen minutes!" she said, holding up a stopwatch.

"Shut up, Shikataro." Said Shikamaru.

"It was faster, but not fast enough!" Shikataro whined.

"You can ask ANYONE here, I was very adamant about your rescue." Shikamaru sighed.

"He was." Said everyone.

"Next time, it should be under ten minutes." Said Shikataro.

"Hey guys!" said Kiba, jumping up where everyone could see him. "You know what? I get the feeling that we're all traumatized from the beach so maybe we can just go—"

"Wait a second." Said Sasuke. "Kakashi was just in the middle of telling me what he did to Senjou."

"It's actually kind of funny." Kakashi said truthfully.

"Hey, where's my dad?" said Sasuke Two randomly.

Sasuke looked at Kakashi.

"And that's part of what makes it so funny!" Kakashi announced.

"He better not be with Itachi…ALONE." Said Sasuke, trying to remain calm.

"Well, if he was with Itachi then he wouldn't be alone." Said Naruto.

"You know what I mean!" said Sasuke as he turned around and grabbed Kakashi as he tried to tiptoe away. "WHERE is my son?!"

"Um…" Kakashi started.

"HEY DAD!!!" came a voice.

"LITTLE BROTHER!!!" came another.

Everyone turned around and looked out at the water to see two figures floating by while waving their arms around crazily. They all watched in silence as Senjou and Itachi bobbed in the water a little off shore.

Sasuke's grip on Kakashi became a little firmer.

"Well now." Said Kakashi. "How did they get THERE?"

"CAPTAIN KAKASHI SAID WE COULD SEE HIS PIRATE SHIP!!!" Senjou yelled through cupped hands.

Sasuke's grip on Kakashi became a LOT firmer.

"They're putting words in my mouth." Said Kakashi.

"It would be ONE thing if he was out there by himself…" said Sasuke through clenched teeth. "But he's out there…with ITACHI?!"

"Sasuke, calm down." Ino tried as she tried to pull Sasuke's death grip from Kakashi's shirt.

"I have no idea how they got out there." Said Kakashi. "One minute I was walking along…"

Sasuke grabbed Kakashi's shirt tighter.

"Is this how you thank the person who came to…" Kakashi started but Sasuke's glare got harder and at this point, Kakashi feared for his life.

"Sasuke, it's not a big deal," Ino said. "Just walk out there on the water and get Senjou."

Sasuke stood there taking deep hoot breaths.

"Senjou!" Ino yelled to her son. "Come back here!"

"They're just jealous." Itachi said.

"Why would they be jealous?" Senjou asked, having absolutely no concept of anything that would be negative.

"They probably asked to see Kakashi's pirate ship but he said no." Itachi explained.

"I'm going to count to three, Senjou!" came Ino's voice from the shore.

"Don't listen to her." Itachi said.

"But…" Senjou started.

"Come on Senjou." Said Itachi. "It's me, Uncky Itachi."

"But my mom will get mad…" Senjou said regrettably as he stepped off the barrel and walked back to the shore on the water.

"Uchiha Senjou!" said Ino, putting her hands on her hips once Senjou was on the sand again. "If you weren't eighteen years old, I swear I'd give you a spanking right now!"

Senjou lowered his head in shame.

"Whoa… he's eighteen?" Sasuke Two whispered to Hana.

"Well duh." Said Hana. "How old did you THINK he was?"

Sasuke Two shrugged. "Fourteen?" she tried.

"Don't tell HIM that." Hana advised.

Itachi also came trudging back to the shore as well. He had known all along that there was no pirate ship, he just wanted to spend some quality time with one of his nephews. "Well, way to ruin our fun, everyone!" he said as if he were a victim.

"Itachi, I swear if you step one more foot out of line then I'll—" Sasuke started.

"You'll what, Little Brother?" said Itachi, looking skeptical.

Sasuke only waved his finger around threateningly and was just about to take his rage out on Kakashi and teach him a lesson, when he realized that Kakashi had quickly slipped away when his attention was elsewhere.

"Okay…" said Kiba, realizing there was a lull in conversation. "How's about we all listen to my advice THIS time and head back to the house? Everyone has to get packed and stuff…"

"SOUNDS LIKE AN IDEA, KIBA!!!" said everyone as they gave him the thumbs up and then piled into various cars so they could get back to the house. Then they drove back to the beach, collected all the unconscious people and drove back home again.

After a little while, all the unconscious people awakened from their slumber of unconsciousness.

"What is THIS?" Sasuke Jr. demanded, looking in the mirror at his newly acquired black eye.

"We match!" said Pansuke, showing off the black eye that he had earlier. (Remember, Senjou punched him a day or two ago.)

"You will NEVER match me." Sasuke Jr. said as if he was offended.

"You COULD say I match too!" said Lil Gai as he showed off the two hand shaped bruises that he had on each cheek. "We're twins!"

"No." said Sasuke Jr. "It's bad enough I have this black eye but I'm not about to go around saying that I'm twins with you."

"WE'RE the only twins around here!" said Shika and Cho at the same time as they walked in. They both had their Sharingans activated and were walking around as if they didn't.

"Oh so you both got your Sharingans?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"Of course!" said Shika.

"Are we not UCHIHAS?!" Cho demanded.

"Now all that's left is Inoshi." Said Sasuke Jr., giving Inoshi a condescending look.

"I'm not a ninja, Sasuke." Said Inoshi defensively.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can't at least TRY to get it."

"Maybe I was just never meant to get it." Said Inoshi. "Maybe I take after mom."

"You can use that as your excuse, but keep in mind that Mom was a ninja, not a flutist writer." Sasuke Jr. said.

Inoshi looked awfully depressed after that comment.

"I can't find Lee ANYWHERE!" said Kobiru as she went into the room where all the people with black eyes and bruises were hanging out. And Shika and Cho. "What am I going to do?"

"Didn't he regain consciousness and fight the ninjas?" Shika said.

"WHAT?!" Pansuke yelled. "Lee regained consciousness BEFORE me?!"

"Well yeah…" said Cho. "And he also doesn't have and hideous facial blemishes like you do."

"This can't be true!" said Pansuke as he whipped out his chart and looked longingly at it. Then he smiled deviously. "Well, I guess I own him at battle scars AND staying unconscious longer!"

He gave himself two more tallies.

Everyone else raised their eyebrows.

"Guys…" said Senjou as he came in and gave a sigh. "I was THIS close to seeing Captain Kakashi's ship…"

"Senjou." Said Sasuke Jr. going right up to Senjou and grabbing him by the shoulders so that he would pay attention to him. "Let me clarify this for you once and for all. Your so-called 'Captain' Kakashi is not really—"

"Pansuke!" said Aikan as she ran in. "It's so good to see you're conscious again!"

"Don't change the subject!" said Lil Lee as he was quick to follow.

"No matter how many times we discuss it, it's not going to change my feelings for you, or LACK of feelings for you, actually." Aikan said harshly.

"I think that's ANOTHER win for me." Said Pansuke as he put another tally on the sheet.

Lil Lee frowned upon the tally chart, and then decided it was time to take initiative. It's not like he had anything to LOSE. So he grabbed the chart and tore it up into a zillion pieces before Pansuke even had a chance to blink, and then punched Pansuke in the face, sending him through the wall and into the mysterious beyond.

"YAY LEE!!" cheered Kobiru.

"Don't you think that was a little excessive?!" Aikan demanded.

"No." said Lil Lee. "I've been waiting to do that for over ten years. I don't know why I was holding off for so long."

"I guess if Pansuke's chart still existed, you could give him another tally for getting another black eye!" Said Lil Gai.

"He gave himself a tally for—" started Lil Lee but then he stopped. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

"No." said Sasuke Jr. "No you don't."

"What were you saying, Sasuke?" asked Senjou. Sasuke Jr. turned back to Senjou.

"I shouldn't have to tell you this." Said Sasuke Jr. "Hana, MAYBE." Then he paused. "Hana eight years ago, MAYBE. But you and now?"

"Do I have XYZ?" Senjou asked, looking down to check his fly. Sasuke Jr. slapped his forehead and was about to continue when Sasuke stormed in.

"Senjou." He said in the most final tone ever. "You. Me. In the other room. Now."

"Aww…" Senjou said in a very dejected sounding tone as he walked into the other room with Sasuke, bowing his head low.

"What an adventure we had today, Shika!" Cho said with a hearty laugh, trying to get the attention back to them.

"We sure did Cho!" Shika said, equally willing to get the focus on him again. "And as usual, in the end everything worked out!"

"I love you, dear brother!" they both said in unison. Then they paused. "TWIN THING!!"

"How do you live with them?" Lil Lee asked Sasuke Jr.

"Well, for one thing, I don't." said Sasuke Jr. Then he stopped talking.

"And?" Lil Lee tried.

"And what?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"You said 'for one thing'." Said Lil Lee. "What's the other thing."

"There is no other thing." Said Sasuke Jr. "I just don't live at home anymore and they do so I don't have to live with them."

"Whatever." Said Lil Lee with a sigh.

"Um…" came Hinata's faint voice as she poked her head in the giant hole in the wall that Pansuke had been punched through. "Who punched Pansuke through the wall?"

Everyone pointed at Lil Lee.

"LEE did." Said Aikan. "He's incredibly jealous of Pansuke and took his anger out on him in the worst way!"

"That was FAR from the worst way." Said Lil Lee. "And I'm NOT jealous of him! I just hate him."

"HEY!!!" said Kiba as he appeared where Hinata was nervously trying to accumulate some answers. "What happened to my wall?! Why is there a big Pansuke shaped hole in it?! Who is to blame here?!"

"It's Pansuke obviously!" said Kobiru. "After all, the hole IS in the shape of him!"

"That's right…" said Kiba, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Kobiru, I believe that is the only smart thing you have EVER said! I shall go and take Pansuke's life and force him to pay me for the damage and emotional suffering I have endured"

"Wait a second!" said Aikan. "Let's not forget who punched Pansuke into the wall, which was LEE!"

"WHAT?!" demanded Kiba. "KOBIRU!! How dare you lie to me!!"

"I wasn't lying!" said Kobiru. "It's the truth!"

"I'm more inclined to believe this random woman I don't know over you, Kobiru." Said Kiba. Then he paused and looked at Aikan. "Who ARE you, anyway?"

"That's Lee's son's wife." Explained Hinata.

"What?" said Kiba. "Has she been here the whole time?"

"No, she came about half way through the anniversary party." Hinata replied.

"Oh." Said Kiba. "That's random. I mean…I don't even know why Lee is here, let alone his son, let alone his son's WIFE!"

"Lee's here because he's married to Tenten, who I invited." Hinata said. "And their son is here too because he'd be left out if we didn't ONLY not invite him. And I think his wife just randomly showed up."

"I get it now!" laughed Kiba, feeling proud of himself. He stuck his hand out to Aikan. "Welcome to my house! My name is Inuzuka Kiba!"

"Rock Aikan." Said Aikan, shaking Kiba's hand.

"You're even still using my last name?" Lil Lee asked.

"Nothing's official yet." Said Aikan.

"Lies!" Lil Gai yelled bursting into tears. "It's because she still loves you Lil Lee and didn't want to make any rash decisions!"

"Why do you always have to put your two cents in?" Aikan asked Lil Gai.

"Because I'm Lil Lee's BROTHER!" Lil Gai said proudly.

Suddenly, Tenten came into the room carrying Kikei who was screaming.

"Take him." She said as she was just about to hand Kikei off to Lil Lee but then she paused, changed her direction and handed Kikei to Aikan instead. "YOU take him."

"What?" Aikan said, taking her son. She was just about to protest to Tenten but Tenten was WAY too fast and managed to sprint out of the room before anyone could catch her.

"You know he IS your son too." Said Lil Lee. "As much as you hate to admit it."

"WHAT?!" Aikan yelled over Kikei's screams.

"I said, he IS your son too!" Lil Lee yelled.

Sasuke Jr. leaned over to Tashoku.

"Where is our exceptionally well-behaved and attractive son?" he asked her.

"I think he's in the other room sleeping." Said Tashoku.

"Just as I thought." Sasuke Jr. said proudly. Unfortunately, no one heard that because Kikei was being far too loud.

"I hope my unborn child is well behaved." Kobiru said, putting her hand on her stomach like a pregnant lady.

"'MY'?" Pansuke repeated, sounding enraged as he hopped through the hole in the room. "Whatever happened to 'our'?"

"Well, Pansuke, I've noticed that your heart has started to waver." Kobiru sighed. "So I've decided that maybe our marriage wasn't meant to be."

"Kobiru, YOU'RE the one who starting the wavering." Said Tashoku.

"Yeah!" said Pansuke. "The only reason I'm wavering is because Aikan is wavering!"

"And the only reason I'm attracted to Pansuke is because he's wavering!" Aikan added.

"I'M not wavering!" Lil Lee whined.

"Are you four experiencing trouble in your marriages?" Kiba said.

"Dad…where have you been?" Tashoku said, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"Well excuse me for living!" said Kiba as he put his arm around Hinata. "But Hinata and I have been married for twenty-five years and our hearts have never wavered a SINGLE time! Pansuke and Kobiru… you two have been married for about a WEEK and you're already falling apart!"

"We've been married for longer than a week…" said Kobiru.

"Don't correct me!!" Kiba yelled. "My anniversary was yesterday so I'm always right today!!"

"Kiba, I don't think it's any of our business to get involved." Said Hinata.

"Wait!" said Tashoku. "PLEASE get involved. SOMEONE has to."

"What could _I _possibly do?!" Kiba said. "I don't even know Lee and his wife, and I just don't care enough about Pansuke and Kobiru to get involved."

"Don't bother!" said Kobiru. "Now that I realize my true feelings for Lee, my feelings could NEVER be reversed!!"

"Well, now that you've come to that conclusion, I hope you don't mind living by yourself." Said Lil Lee. "Because unless you learn to live with Pansuke again like you did before, I'm NEVER living with you!"

"Wait…" started Kobiru. "So if I learn to live with Pansuke, you'll marry me?"

Lil Lee paused.

"I never said that!" he yelled.

"Yes you did!" Kobiru yelled back.

"It's true." Said Sasuke Jr. "As much as I want to be on your side, you did say that."

"I don't think he meant it though." Said Tashoku.

"Of course he didn't mean it." Said Sasuke Jr.

"But he still said it!" Kobiru said passionately.

"Do I have to get the parents involved, here?" Kiba asked. "Because I will if I have to! You guys seem FAR from able to resolve this on your own!"

"Maybe that's a good idea, Dad." Said Tashoku.

"Kiba, you really shouldn't be getting involved." Said Hinata.

"I'm torn!" Kiba cried, looking from Tashoku to Hinata and then back to Tashoku. "My heart is torn between the two women of my life!"

"See!" said Kobiru. "Now you know how we feel!"

"Be quiet Kobiru!" said Kiba. "There is a HUGE difference between me not being able to decide who to side with between my daughter and my wife and me NOT killing you so…"

"Kiba…" said Hinata, tapping him on the shoulder.

"I meant to say you and your marital problems." Said Kiba with a forced yet still pleasant smile.

After a little bit of kicking and screaming, the two feuding couples were isolated in a room with Naruto, Sakura, Tenten and Lee to discuss a few things.


	51. I’m Boney, I’m Boney…leave me aloooooney

Meanwhile, everyone else had to find some other way to occupy their time.

"Oh Sasuke…" said Ino as she whined about Sasuke Jr.'s black eye. "Who did you pick a fight with?"

"Uh…" Sasuke Jr. said hesitantly because he felt a little stupid about saying 'The Gym Master'.

"The Gym Master." Said Senjou.

"Senjou…" said Sasuke Jr.

"The Gym Master took him out with just one punch!" Senjou went on. "He didn't even see it COMING!"

Sasuke Jr. slapped his forehead.

"Who is 'The Gym Master?" Sasuke said with a bit of disappointment in his voice.

"The MASTER of the Gym!" said Lil Gai. "He managed to defeat ALL of us!"

"I hope you taught him a lesson, Senjou!" said Ino.

"No way." Said Senjou. "I saw what he did to the other guys. I wasn't about to risk my OWN neck."

MEANWHILE!!!

"There's an UCHIHA Edition?" Sasuke Two gasped as the girls ONCE AGAIN fished through the huge box of magazines that Tashoku owned. "Why didn't anybody tell me and my dad?"

"Because nobody knew about you or your dad existing." Hana said, giving an exasperated sigh that the Uchiha Edition was being taken out again. It wouldn't have been as bad if it was more modern, but this magazine was two years old and that was back when she was ten and… well… even if you're an Uchiha, you still go through an ugly faze at age ten.

"Aww…" said Sasuke Two. "We should have at least gotten mentioned."

"Well, your dad's mentioned here." Said Kajitsu as she showed Sasuke Two a little blurb at the bottom of one of the pages.

"Is it about how he killed the clan?" said Sasuke Two curiously, reading the short paragraph. "It is…" she laughed a little bit. "That's my dad for you!"

Suddenly, Kiba burst into the room, waving his arms above his head and yelling loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Attention everyone, I would like you all to leave my house now!" he announced. "You are no longer welcome and you have about one hour to vacate my property or I will have you arrested!"

"Kiba…" Hinata said, tugging on his shirt.

Kiba paused and looked at her pained expression.

"Okay you have TWO hours." He said. Hinata cleared her throat. "Fine. You can take as long as you need. But if you're not off my property by tomorrow… well, you know the consequence!"

Then he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Why did he tell US that?" asked Moujo.

"I don't know." Said Hana with a shrug.

"Should we tell anyone or should we assume he's going to tell everyone the same things?" Kajitsu asked.

"—or I'll have you all arrested!" came the faint sound of Kiba's voice in the other room.

"I think he's telling everyone else." Said Sasuke Two with a nod. They all turned back to the magazine and continued swooning as if Kiba hadn't just come in.

MEANWHILE!!!

"—you know the consequence!" Kiba finished up as he nodded his head with satisfaction and left the room. Hinata shrugged helplessly at all the people Kiba had just ranted to and followed after him.

"Well, I wanted to leave now anyway." Said Shikamaru as he wasted no time to get his stuff and start packing.

Kiba knocked on the door that Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Tenten, Lil Lee, Pansuke, Aikan and Kobiru had been in for quite a while now.

"HEY YOU GUYS IN THERE!!" he yelled.

"Kiba, they're healing right now!" said Hinata as she frantically tried to get him to stop.

"They should have equal warning as everyone else." Kiba said. "Because if I don't first warn them that I'll have them arrested if they don't leave within a certain amount of time, if they take me to court to sue then they'll have ground to stand on."

"Kiba…" Hinata said, taking a deep breath. "We're not going to arrest any of our friends for not leaving within a certain amount of time."

"Well I know that…" said Kiba. "But if I don't threaten them with something then they'll NEVER leave and continue to mooch off of us until we kick them out forcefully!"

"Then why are you so concerned about anyone potentially taking us to court?" Hinata questioned.

"Oh Hinata, I just don't know anymore!" Kiba said as he buried his face in Hinata's shoulder and started crying.

"There, there…" Hinata said, patting him on the shoulder.

Shikamaru came up to Kiba and patted him on the shoulder. Shikataro was following behind him looking all Vash the Stampedeish.

"Well Kiba…" he said, picking his suitcases up. "It's been fun. Shikataro and I congratulate you."

"Yeah." Said Shikataro bitterly. He still hadn't recovered from being in a sack as long as he has. TWICE.

"Thank you for coming." Said Hinata as Kiba opened the door up for them.

"Does anyone else want to use the door while it's opened?" Kiba asked. "Because you might as well if it's already open."

Shikamaru and Shikataro walked out the door and walked to their car to go home.

Suddenly, there was a rumbling as Chouji came into view.

"Shikamaru!" he yelled, sprinting out Kiba's already open door. "Won't you drive me home as well?!"

"Chouji…" Shikamaru said.

"Dad?" Shikataro started.

"Get in the car, Shikataro." Said Shikamaru.

"I won't tell!" said Chouji. "I just…I just want to spend time with my best friend. Is that so much to ask?"

"I don't know Chouji, is it?" Shikamaru said, opening his car door.

Kiba took it upon himself to slam the door shut at this point because he didn't want to have deal with other people's problems that weren't his.

Speaking of which, the door to the secluded room flung open just that moment and if Kiba hadn't been so nimble about hopping out of the way, he would have been flattened against the wall just like Jafar and Iago.

"Oh Pansuke, let's never fight again!" said Kobiru, looking dreamily into Pansuke's eyes as the two of them strolled out hand-in-hand.

"I'm SO glad we got all this settled." Said Aikan to Lil Lee. She was holding Kikei and…OMG!! HE WASN'T CRYING!!!

"You can say that again." Said Lil Lee.

Hinata looked at Sakura and Tenten.

"How did you do it?" she asked.

"That is the secret!" Lee screamed before anyone could rationally explain their methods. And, every time they tried to open their mouths to inform the uninformed people, Lee started screaming and throwing a temper tantrum so they assured Hinata they'd tell her later.

"I think we should leave now too." Said Tenten. "Hinata, it's been really fun!"

"And we're sorry your anniversary was ruined by evil ninjas." Said Lee.

"Shh…" Hinata said, looking over at Kiba who was, thankfully, distracted. The last thing she needed was for him to have a recurring memory and start crying again.

"LIL GAI!!!" Lee screamed through cupped hands so loudly that it shook the house. "OH LIL GAI!!! WE ARE LEAVING NOW!!!"

Lil Gai came out of the other room with Shika and Cho. "I'LL MISS YOU GUYS!!" he wailed as tears poured from his eyes like waterfalls.

"We'll miss you too!" Shika and Cho said, each of them wiping a tear from their eyes.

"Lil Lee, do you need a ride back home?" Tenten asked her eldest son.

"No thanks mom." Said Lil Lee. "I think Aikan drove here, right?"

Aikan shook her head.

"No, I walked." She said. "Let's just walk home. We have a lot to talk about on the way."

"Carrying a baby?" Lil Lee asked with a raised eyebrow. Aikan frowned. "I mean, what a great idea!"

So the two of them gathered up as much stuff as they could carry and loaded the rest of it into Tenten and Lee's car to be taken home FOR them.

"The key's under the welcome mat." Lil Lee told Tenten.

"Wow." Said Pansuke. "Why don't you just leave your door unlocked and your front door open?"

"Shut up Pansuke." Said Lil Lee but Lee, Tenten, Sakura and Naruto all turned to glare at him. "I mean, let's…hope not Pansuke." Then he put on the fakest smile known to man as everyone with Rock for a last name walked out the door.

"I want to know what they said in ten minutes that worked so well that we couldn't say this whole time!" Tashoku wondered out loud.

"Tashoku, you did nothing so don't lie." Said Sasuke Jr. as he packed up Little Sasuke in his little carryable car seat.

"That wasn't very nice." Said Tashoku.

"What?!" Kiba said, stampeding over. "Do I hear my daughter is upset?! Are you going to have marriage problems like practically everyone else?! You better not!"

"No, Dad, it's all right." Said Tashoku.

"It BETTER be or so help me!" said Kiba angrily.

"Kiba, stop yelling at my son or I will hurt you." Sasuke threatened.

"HA!" said Kiba. But he left it at that.

"Do you two have everything you need?" Ino asked Sasuke Jr. and Tashoku. "All the baby's things?"

"Yeah, we have everything…I think…" Sasuke Jr. said, double checking very quickly.

"I lost so much baby stuff when I was your age that it's a wonder the Uchiha funds didn't go bankrupt." Ino sighed as if it was 'good times'.

"Mom, I think I'm going to take the next mission off and stay home for a few months!" Senjou declared randomly.

"That's great news, Senjou!" said Ino happily.

"Can I come over and visit?" Moujo asked.

"Sure!" said Senjou obliviously.

"Moujo, get your sisters and let's go." Said Shino.

"SHINO!!" yelled Kiba. "Don't leave yet! You have to be the last to leave!"

Shino sighed and came very close to moaning, but he clearly withdrew his moan at the very last second.

"Inoshi, are you coming home with us for dinner or something?" Ino asked. "Sasuke and Tashoku are coming too."

"Oh…do you not mind?" Inoshi asked. It was kind of obvious that he didn't want to come at all, but if everyone else was going then it would be weird if he didn't too.

"Of course not!" said Ino. "You're my son! I wish you would visit us more often!"

"Well…all right." Said Inoshi. "If it's all right with everyone else…"

"It's not okay with me." Said Sasuke Jr.

"What?" Inoshi asked with a rejected look on his face.

"I'm just kidding Inoshi." Said Sasuke Jr. But EVERYONE could tell that he was serious when he said it the first time around. He then picked up his little baby carrier.

"Can I carry the little one?" Shika asked as he leapt forward and gripped onto the baby carrier.

Sasuke Jr. shrugged.

"Sure, I don't care." He said, handing it over.

"Oh but Shika!" Cho whined. "That's not fair!"

"You want to carry him too?" Shika asked.

"Of course I want to carry my nephew!" Cho said.

"What if I carried him halfway down the walk and you carried him the rest of the way?" Shika asked. Cho sighed. "What Cho?"

"It's just that…" then he paused. "Oh never mind."

"How about you both carry it together?" Senjou suggested. Shika and Cho both perked up.

"What a great idea!" Shika exclaimed. The two of them gripped the carrying part of the baby carrier as Little Sasuke slumbered within it, oblivious to what the hell is going on.

"You really ARE the smart one of the family!" said Cho. "No matter what anyone else tells you!"

"Thanks!" said Senjou with horseshoe eyes.

"Okay!!" said Kiba, opening up the door and trying to coax the copious Uchihas out. "Time to leave!"

"Wait…" said Sasuke as he counted up his clan. "Where's Hana?"

"Right here, Dad!" came Hana's voice as she ran around the corner followed by Kajitsu and Sasuke Two.

"Where were you?" Sasuke asked.

"We were looking for Uncle Itachi." Hana replied. "Sasuke can't find him anywhere."

Sasuke did a few things. First he glared at Sasuke Two for having the same name as him. Then his heart raced to think that Hana may have been alone with Itachi for a few minutes, and then he reprimanded Hana for going off on her own while Itachi was on the loose.

"You don't need to worry about ME, younger brother!" said Itachi as he suddenly appeared behind Sasuke. "I'll ALWAYS be around."

"Who said I was—" Sasuke started.

"And I managed to overhear something about the Uchihas having a little get together at your house." Itachi continued. "And I guess I will invite Sasuke Two and I!"

"Itachi if you think for one minute that you are—" Sasuke began but Kiba ran up behind the entire clan and punted them out the door, slamming it behind them as they landed on their arses in the front yard.

"That gets rid of THEM!" said Kiba, looking awfully proud of himself. "All that's left are those pesky Hyuugas, Uzumakis and Aburames!"

"I TRIED to leave, but you won't let me." Shino said.

"Like I said, Shino, you're LAST!" Kiba said adamantly.

"You don't have to tell US twice!" said Naruto. "It's obvious that we're not wanted!"

"I don't think I could make it more obvious." Said Kiba, looking genuinely thoughtful on how he could go about making it more obvious.

"Kiba…" Hinata said quietly.

"Well, come family!" Said Naruto as he put one arm around Kajitsu and one arm around Sakura and walked out the door. Pansuke and Kobiru followed after. They didn't have anyone to leave with a word of wisdom so they left without saying another word.

And by 'another word', I mean 'any word at all'.

It was silent for a minute before Kiba turned slowly toward Neji with the Exorcist face and glared at him.

"Don't glare at me like that." Said Neji, glaring back at Kiba.

Kiba didn't say anything, just pointed to the door.

"BYE EVERYONE!!" Hichou said as he frolicked out the door. Neji ran after him to make sure he didn't get hit by a car or something.

"And that just leaves the Aburames." Said Kiba turning pleasantly toward Shino and his three daughters.

There was a long pause.

"NOW GET OUTTA HERE!" Kiba yelled. Shino escorted his daughters out the door as Moujo waved goodbye to Kiba and Hinata, thanking them for the marvelous time. Kiba stood in the doorway for a minute. "I'm Boney, I'm Boney…leave me alooooooonnnney!!"

"Kiba…" Hinata said.


	52. ONE YEAR LATER!

ONE MONTH LATER!!!

"I love our new baby!!" Kobiru exclaimed happily as she and Pansuke frolicked into their home with their brand new baby that they just brought home from the hospital.

"Yeah, he's so precious." Pansuke agreed.

"I'm just going to go and change my clothes!" said Kobiru as she ran into the other room, leaving Pansuke with the new baby.

He quickly inspected the top of the new baby's head for any trace of pink. Looking very closely and intently, he finally emerged with quite the unhappy frown. The poor child was also cursed with pink hair as he was.

"PANSUKE!" Kobiru called from the other room.

"YEAH?" Pansuke called back.

"What are we going to name him?" Kobiru asked as she came back into the room where Pansuke was. "We still haven't decided between Shouhai, Gantai and Okurasu."

"Hm…" said Pansuke, scratching his chin as he handed the baby over to Kobiru. "I'm personally torn between Shouhai and Gantai."

"And I'm torn between Okurasu and Shouhai." Kobiru confessed.

"Then since we both like Shouhai, let's name him Shouhai." Pansuke suggested.

"That's a good idea." Said Kobiru with a shrug as if naming their baby didn't have any consequences to anyone's lives. "The newest addition of the Uzumaki family!"

"Uzumaki Shouhai!" said Pansuke. "We should take him over to see my parents."

"Mine too!" said Kobiru excitedly. "And then we should take him over to see Lee."

"Why Lee?" said Pansuke, raising an eyebrow.

"Because…" Kobiru said slowly. "I don't know if I ever told you this but… well…" she turned bright red. "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this! But I had a huge crush on Lee when I was a teenager and when we met up with him last month at Kiba and Hinata's anniversary, those old feelings came back for a few fleeting moments!"

Pansuke stared at her and blinked.

"But I never wavered from YOU, Pansuke!" said Kobiru. "You're the ONLY man for me and I've ALWAYS felt that way ever since the day I met you!"

"Really?" said Pansuke.

"Yes really!" Kobiru said.

"That's good to hear!" said Pansuke like the gullible sap he is.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"Daddy!" said Kikei as he ran up to Lil Lee and handed him a little toy train.

"Thank you, Kikei." Said Lil Lee, putting the toy train aside.

"Daddy!" Kikei said excitedly, handing Lil Lee another little toy of his.

"Thank you, Kikei." Said Lil Lee, taking the toy and putting it aside.

"Daddy!" Kikei cheered, handing Lil Lee a stuffed animal.

"Thank you, Kikei." Said Lil Lee as he put the toy aside.

This surely would have continued for much longer if not for the fact that Lil Lee heard the sound of a car coming down the street. He leapt up and went to the window only to watch the car drive right by the house.

He turned around and sighed.

"You know what, Kikei?" he said, as the extremely small child only stared at him blankly. "I don't think she's going to come back."

Kikei, of course, didn't respond since his vocabulary was limited to that of, 'Daddy', 'Train' and 'Merry Christmas'.

"I mean…" Lil Lee went on, crossing his arms. "Unless she's been at the grocery store getting formula for two days, I get the feeling she walked out on us again."

Kikei had nothing but, "Merry Christmas!" to say on the matter.

Lil Lee gave a heavy sigh and wondered how long he'd be able to keep it a secret THIS time. For some reason, he wasn't as sad as he was the first time around when Aikan had left him with an infant son. His only beef with her now was the fact that she had left him with an infant son AND an infant daughter.

Cue the crying from the other room.

"Well, that certainly lifted my spirit." Said Lil Lee as he went into the other room that was painted pink. Kikei skipped after him, falling on his face one or two times but being completely unaffected.

Lil Lee picked up the little girl that was lying down in the crib.

"Don't worry, Henshu." He said to the female baby version of his father. "I don't blame you for all my unhappiness."

He looked around the room and finally grasped the concept that he was probably not going to be able to get Aikan back again.

Then he looked back at the crying girl and then at Kikei.

"Much…" he added.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

Inoshi, at the mature age of twenty-four, had accidentally distanced himself from his family more than he had intended to. Though, he figured, if they had really wanted to see more of him, they'd probably call him.

He sat in the local coffee shop going over the final draft of his autobiography, a piece he had picked up and put down over the course of two years and had finally gotten around to finishing it. Unfortunately for him, things kept happening so he had to keep adding chapters at the end and omitting chapters at the beginning.

Finally, he decided that he was done and no more chapters would be added.

Not looking up from his work, he reached for his tea (since Inoshi ONLY drinks tea, no coffee). However, he knocked the glass over, sending it across the table. Luckily for him, the tea spilled on the opposite side of the table and none got on him or his draft.

He got up and started looking around for napkins.

"Here," said a voice, handing him a pile of napkins.

"Oh, thanks." Inoshi said, looking up to see a pleasant looking woman wearing an apron with a smile on her face and a nametag that said, 'Kihou'. Inoshi started soaking up the tea and couldn't help but notice that Kihou was looking at the open pages of his book.

He awkwardly leaned over and shut the book.

"Sorry," he said. "But I can't let any information leak out…"

"I understand." She said. She glanced at the cover and then gaped. "I don't believe it! I thought you looked familiar! You're Uchiha Inoshi?"

"Uh…right…" Inoshi said as he dropped the napkins. "Oops,"

"Let me help!" she said as they both bent down at the same time and konked heads.

"Sorry about that." Inoshi said as they both stood up while rubbing their heads where they would most certainly get matching lumps like unicorns.

"It's all right." Kihou said with a laugh. "I'm just so excited to meet you! I've read both your books and have been religiously following tabloids waiting for _any _information to come out about this one!"

"Oh really?" Inoshi said, dropping the napkins in the trashcan.

"I only saw a few lines." Kihou assured him. "I won't tell anyone!"

"Well, I hardly think that anyone would get excited over just a couple of lines." Inoshi said modestly.

"I know I would go crazy." Kihou assured him.

"Thanks, then." Inoshi said, sitting back down in the seat after all the mess was cleaned up.

"I've also listened to everything you've put out with your flute." Kihou went on, sitting in the chair across from him. "I hate to sound like a crazed fan but… well, I guess I am! If I was ten years younger, I'd probably have an obsessive website!"

Inoshi didn't know what to say about that. Sure, he had gone on the internet once or twice to see if there were any fan-sites dedicated to him and he had found a couple but most of them were abandoned after a few updates.

Kihou looked up at the clock and then back at Inoshi. "Hey, I'm off in an hour." She said. "Are you still going to be here then?"

"I'll be here all day." Inoshi answered.

"Cool." She said. "Do you want another tea?"

"I think I'll be all right." Inoshi said.

For the next hour, Inoshi and Kihou were looking at each other out of the corner of their eye, exchanging a few comments every once and a while whenever there was a dull moment.

Finally, Kihou sat down in the seat across from Inoshi once again. "I'm done." She said. "I was thinking though. Am I making you feel uncomfortable? You're really quiet."

"I'm always like that." Inoshi said, taking his glasses off and looking down.

"Really?" Kihou sighed. "I never would have guessed. A talented guy like you must have the girls lining up down the street trying to get to your house!"

Inoshi laughed a bit under his breath. "That's my brother's place." He said.

"Uchiha Senjou?" Kihou said.

"Yeah." Inoshi nodded.

"I hear that as of right now he's next in line to be Hokage." Kihou said.

Inoshi smiled a bit. Out of all his siblings, Senjou was always the nicest to him. "That decision is still up in the air." He said. "Besides, even if it did happen, it wouldn't be for a few years."

"But you're pretty sure it will happen." Kihou grinned.

"Pretty sure." Inoshi said.

Kihou took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. "I hope I don't sound forward…but…" she trailed off.

"Sure." Inoshi said.

"Really?" Kihou said, looking excited.

"Yeah." Inoshi answered. "Why not?"

"Why not?" Kihou repeated with a smile.

Inoshi looked down at the draft he was working on. Well, maybe he'd have to put off publication a little longer… because now he had to write another chapter.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"I'll check the messages." Ino told Sasuke as the two of them came in from their afternoon stroll. Sasuke nodded and went into the kitchen to try and figure out what was for dinner.

Ino pressed the button and listened. "Hey Mom, Dad." Came the voice of her eldest son. "Just thought you might like to know, Tashoku went into labor about an hour ago and gave birth to a little girl."

"SASUKE!" Ino called. "Hurry!!"

Sasuke ran in. "What is it?"

"Shh!" Ino hushed him.

"I'm holding her right now!" Sasuke Jr.'s message continued. "She looks just like you, Dad. She reminds me a lot of Hana when she was born. We're going to take your advice after all, Mom, and name her Futami."

"Rewind the message, I want to hear the whole thing." Sasuke instructed.

"Shh!" Ino hushed him again.

"I can't talk long…" Sasuke Jr. used his wrapping up tone. "I'm sure you guys'll be home soon. We'll take the baby over to see you as soon as we get out of the hospital. And don't worry, we'll get to work on that fourth one right away! See you later!"

Ino frowned at Sasuke.

"Sasuke…" she said.

"I never told him he had to have a plethora of kids." Sasuke said innocently, though it was obviously a lie.

"A girl!" sighed Ino. "And he said he looks like you! How wonderful! And it's even better to know that Kihou's…what, how far in is she?"

"Four months." Sasuke answered. "And two weeks… and a couple days, I think."

"Sasuke." Said Ino. "Don't keep track of Inoshi's wife's pregnancy. You know how much it freaked Tashoku out that you knew more about the progress of her pregnancy than she did."

"I'm just glad that Inoshi finally did something positive for the clan for once." Sasuke said.

"Don't say that!" Inoshi said angrily. "He's done plenty for our clan!"

"Yeah, after that book of his, he really put us in a good light, didn't he?" Sasuke said, rolling his eyes.

"You're just mad because he didn't leave out any of the gruesome details." Ino laughed.

"Anyway…" Sasuke said, obviously avoiding the subject. "I just want to see all our kids settle down and start families. Big families. Not only for the clan, but for their future happiness too."

"I can't wait until all our children have families of their own." Ino sighed happily.

Just then, the door opened.

"Mom!" Hana called, poking only her head in. "Dad! I have someone I want you to meet!"

Ino and Sasuke came into the room where Hana was pulling a boy in who was much taller and clearly much older than she was.

"Hana, who is this?" said Sasuke.

"This is Kashu." Hana said. "Kashu, these are my parents."

"Hi." Said Kashu, holding out his hand for them to shake, but they just stared at him as if he had rabies.

"Kashu's been helping me train!" said Hana.

"Really." Said Sasuke. "How old are you, Kashu?"

"Eighteen." Kashu replied. "I'm almost nineteen."

"Oh." Said Sasuke suspiciously. "My daughter is only fifteen."

Kashu nodded hesitantly.

Hana cleared her throat. "Uh…Kashu, I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" she said. "I think it's time for dinner.."

"Sure…" said Kashu as he left the house in a dejected fashion.

Hana closed the door and turned around to face Sasuke. "Dad!" she said. "Why do you have to be suspicious of every guy I bring home?"

"Hana, that boy was too old for you." Said Ino.

"That's what you say about EVERY boy!" Hana whined.

"No," said Sasuke. "Hitai was your age, but I didn't like him because he was perverted."

"No he wasn't!" said Hana. "Where did you pull THAT claim from?!"

"I could just tell." Sasuke said. "I know these things."

"But what about Matami?" Hana demanded. "You said he was too old and he was only sixteen!"

"Hana, that was when you were fourteen." Ino reminded her.

"That's only a year ago!" Hana yelled.

"Well, then maybe you should wait a few more years until you start dating." Ino advised.

"It's not fair!" Hana cried. "How come you accept every girlfriend my brothers ever brought home but not any of my boyfriends?!"

"It's different when you're bringing home a boyfriend as opposed to a girlfriend." Sasuke said.

"But you didn't harass Shika and Cho's boyfriends!" Hana said.

"That's completely different." Sasuke said, getting all rigid.

"It's not fair!" Hana cried, running up the stairs. "All I want is to have a little fun every once and a while! At this rate, I'll never get a steady boyfriend!"

She slammed her door.

Ino and Sasuke looked at each other.

"He was too old." Sasuke said.

"Too old." Ino agreed.


	53. I’m going to go into the NoHichou Room

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"Okay, I've made the list of pros." Said Shika as he held up a piece of paper with some fancy cursive writing on it.

"And I've got the cons." Cho said, putting his paper in the middle of the table with identical cursive writing.

"Let's read our top reasons." Shika said.

"Good idea." Cho agreed.

"Pro #1; It's a higher rank than we are now." Shika began.

"Con #1; Uniforms." Cho said.

"Pro #2; It's a great honor." Shika said.

"Con #2; Masks." Cho continued.

"Pro #3; We went through that troublesome exam."

"Con #3; Long missions with no bathing."

"Pro #4; We'd be on the same team as Senjou."

"Con #4; No more Stylish Duo of Konoha."

The two of them sighed.

"Who would have ever thought that the choice on whether or not to become members of ANBU would be so difficult?" Shika said, and the only thing missing was the 'ALAS!'

"We have to consider what is actually important to us." Cho said, reaching his hand out for Shika. Shika put his hand on Cho's.

"You're right, Cho." He said, getting all dramatic.

"As always, Shika, you are my top priority, so whatever you choose I will go along with." Cho said.

"But Cho!" said Shika. "I couldn't possibly make that sort of decision!"

"Then I suppose there's only one way to figure this out." Said Cho.

"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this." Sighed Shika.

"We have no choice." Cho said.

The two of them each picked up a bag and went into separate rooms. After a moment of silence, they emerged. Shika was wearing their traditional stylish battle uniform with many colors that brought out their eyes. Cho was wearing the traditional bland ANBU uniform with limited colors.

They both stood in front of a mirror and looked at their reflections.

"I personally think we look better as the Stylish Duo of Konoha." Said Shika, turning around and modeling his stylish uniform.

"It's no contest." Cho agreed, turning around and modeling the ANBU uniform as well.

"Then it's settled." Shika decided. "ANBU can wait!"

"Right now, we are two heartthrob Stylish Bachelors of Konoha who have just recently reached the legal drinking age!" said Cho, pointing off into the sunset.

"I think a celebration is in order." Shika said.

"To honor the return of the Stylish Duo of Konoha?" Cho said.

"Yes." Said Shika. "Shall we?" He held out his arm for Cho to link with. Cho gladly obliged.

"We shall!"

With that, they skipped out the door.

After a moment of silence, they both came running back inside.

"I can't believe I almost went outside in this!" Cho exclaimed, running into the other room to change into a more stylish outfit.

"That was a close one." Said Shika, breathing a sigh of relief.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"But Kajitsu…" said Sakura in a pleading tone as she desperately followed Kajitsu around the house, watching her pack up things in a few suitcases. "You're too young to be moving out!"

"Mom!" said Kajitsu as if she had had this conversation with her mom many times, which she probably had. "I'm eighteen years old!"

"That's my point!" Sakura said.

"I'm ALMOST nineteen." Kajitsu said.

"That's almost eight months away!" Sakura argued.

"Close enough!" Kajitsu sighed as she put the suitcase down and started packing up some clothes.

"Kajitsu, listen to me." Sakura said, shutting the suitcase. Kajitsu gave her mother an annoyed expression. "You can't move out! You hardly know this guy!"

"Mom…" said Kajitsu. "We've been dating for two and a half months."

Sakura waited for Kajitsu to say something to compel her to agree. "Exactly!" she said finally, realizing that that's what Kajitsu's point was. "That's not even three months! You can't just up and move out of our house and move into some guy's apartment!"

"Mom!" said Kajitsu. "You're the one who keeps telling me that I have to broaden my horizons and take chances!"

"Not like _this_!" Sakura said angrily.

Just then, Naruto strolled in. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Kajitsu decided that she's moving in with her boyfriend." Said Sakura.

"What?" said Naruto, looking utterly baffled.

"Come on!" said Kajitsu, opening her suitcase again. "I'm eighteen years old! I'm old enough to make my own choices!"

"Yeah, you are." Said Naruto. "But that doesn't mean your choices will be RIGHT or ALLOWED."

"I'm SURE that it's right." Said Kajitsu. "And I'm an adult now so you guys don't have any say over me!"

"Kajitsu, we're your parents." Said Sakura. "When you have children of your own, we'll still have say over you!"

"No!" Kajitsu argued, but that was the extent of her argument.

"Why do you want to move out so badly?" Naruto asked.

"It's not that I want to move out of here, it's just that I want to move in with my boyfriend!" Kajitsu said.

"How about you sleep on this?" Sakura suggested. "I mean…I wouldn't want you to be in a situation that's uncomfortable for you! Living on your own is very difficult!"

Kajitsu gave an exasperated sigh. "I'll be back for my other stuff later!" she announced as she zipped up the suitcase and picked it up. "I just can't talk to you guys right now. You won't listen to reason."

She left the room and walked down the stairs as Naruto and Sakura chased after her.

"Kajitsu, I'm ORDERING you to stay!" Naruto commanded.

"How come you guys practically kicked Pansuke out of the house and now you won't let me leave?!" Kajitsu demanded.

"Pansuke was twenty, and he wasn't moving in with someone he had only been dating for two and a half months." Kajitsu said.

"Whatever!" said Kajitsu, as she opened up the door. "I'll talk to you guys later after you cool down!"

She slammed the door and went down the front walk.

"That girl gets me so angry!" said Sakura.

"You know what?" Naruto said. "She's only doing it because Sasuke won't let his daughter move in with her boyfriend."

"Sasuke's daughter is only seventeen." Sakura said.

"That doesn't matter to Kajitsu." Naruto said.

"What makes you think that that is why?" said Sakura.

"Kajitsu and Sasuke's daughter are RIVALS!" said Naruto.

"Naruto, just because you're rivals with Sasuke, doesn't mean our daughters are rivals."

"Pansuke's rivals with ALL his sons."

"Naruto…Pansuke is rivals with Lee's son."

"No, Pansuke is rivals with Sasuke's sons."

"Won't this stupid Uchiha-Uzumaki rivalry ever die?" sighed Sakura.

"You can't say anything." Said Naruto. "You're in on it too."

"I am not!" said Sakura.

Naruto cleared his throat. "YOU are an Uzumaki." He said. "Ino is an Uchiha."

"What?" said Sakura. "We have resolved all ill-feelings we had towards each other a LONG time ago. Don't drag us into it."

"You're just saying that because you know I'm right." Said Naruto.

"Why are you standing here arguing with me instead of marching down the front walk to where Kajitsu is storming off and dragging her back inside?" Sakura said.

"I don't see YOU doing anything." Said Naruto.

"Well, she'll realize soon enough that she made a mistake and she'll be back." Sakura decided, and Naruto agreed. Could it just had been because they were too lazy to pursue their daughter or did they legitimately believe that? The world may never know.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

Once again, Moujo had graciously offered to make the long journey from the Aburame portion of the village to the Hokage's office to collect her sisters' missions. The two of them were chuunins and she had long since quit, but that didn't stop her from frequently finding time to drop in to see the Hokage every now and then.

She knocked on the door.

"Come in!" came the voice from inside.

Moujo opened the door to see her childhood obsession and now the Hokage, Uchiha Senjou, sitting at the desk.

"Hi Moujo." He said. "Back again?"

"Yup!" Moujo said. "I'm just picking up my sisters' missions."

"Wow, you do that a lot!" he commented, searching through his drawers for the missions she sought. "That's nice of you!"

"Well, that's just the way I am!" Moujo said happily. She cleared her throat and waited as he searched around for the missions that he had clearly misplaced. "So…guess what? I turned twenty the other day!"

"Oh, happy birthday!" said Senjou as he pulled the missions out and handed them to her.

"Thanks." Said Moujo. "Er… for wishing me a happy birthday, I mean. Well, AND for giving me the missions…and…" she paused, feeling a little stupid. "Do you want to go out with me?"

Senjou didn't look surprised. "I got the feeling you were going to ask me that someday!" he said. "But I thought you would try to dance around it a little more. But you just came out and said that, now didn't you?"

"Senjou, don't play with me like that!" said Moujo. "I've had an obsessive crush on you ever since I was ten years old and it's recently turned into love and I know that if you don't go out with me then I will surely crumble and die!"

THAT surprised Senjou. "Oh." He said. "Well, I can't have that."

"So you will?" Moujo said happily.

"Sure, why not?" Senjou shrugged. "Not today, though. Cause I'm busy with Hokage stuff."

"That's okay!" said Moujo, about to have a heart attack. She had waited TEN YEARS for this! Sure, it mattered a lot when she was ten and he was fifteen, or when she was thirteen and he was eighteen, or when she was sixteen and he was twenty, but now it didn't seem like that big of a gap!

She stood there foolishly for a few seconds before Senjou looked up at her out of the corner of his eye.

"So…" he said slowly. "Um…"

"Oh right!" said Moujo. "Bye! Thanks Mr. Hokage!"

She ran to the door, flung it open so hard that it made a dent in the wall and then sprinted home as fast as she could to tell her father and sisters about her new boyfriend…as if they would care.

Senjou frowned. "My wall…" he complained.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"Hichou…" said Neji as he and Hichou sat in a secluded room. "As you know, I am getting too old to be the Head of the Hyuuga Clan and I haven't done any ninja practice for about twenty years."

"Yeah." Said Hichou with a nod.

"And my life as also been threatened twice in the past month." Neji went on. "And, although it pains me to even think about what I am about to do, I have decided to finally pass on my job to you."

"REALLY?!" gasped Hichou as he slapped his cheeks.

"No." said Neji.

"Oh." Said Hichou sadly.

"You will only ACT as the Head of the Clan like a figurehead and I will be pulling the strings to the puppet, namely you." Neji explained frankly. "That way, the clan won't fall apart due to your lack of intelligence, but it will also stay together thanks to your strength."

"YAY!!" cheered Hichou.

"Hichou, how many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that?" Neji said with a glare.

"Sorry, Dad." Said Hichou.

"You're twenty years old now, Hichou, you can't go around screaming and cheering." Neji said. "And you definitely have to stop frolicking with children. Every time I see that I just get angry."

"I'm sorry, Dad." Said Hichou. "I don't want to make you angry."

"Just grow up and I won't be angry anymore." Neji said.

"Okay, Dad." Said Hichou. "I'll do ANYTHING to make you happy!"

"Thank you, Hichou." Said Neji. "I appreciate your sad attempts to please me. But unfortunately, as long as you're even around I will continue to be unhappy."

"Oh." Said Hichou.

"But it was a nice effort." Neji said.

Hichou fidgeted. "What now?" he asked.

"We have to inform the rest of the clan that you are taking over my position as the leader." Neji said. "And be sure to keep it a secret that you are a puppet because if people find out about that then…oh I don't know. They might try to oppose you and you'll have to kill people."

"I don't want to kill people unless I HAVE to!" said Hichou.

"I know that, Hichou." Said Neji. "And I don't want to have to kill you unless I have to. But as every day goes by, I feel more and more like I will have to kill you or else I won't be able to leave this world peacefully knowing that you will continue to infect it even after my departure."

"I'm sorry, Dad." Said Hichou. "If I cause you so much unhappiness, I think you should just get it over with and kill me!"

"No, Hichou." Said Neji. "I just explained to you why I need you. Though, when you make mindless comments like that, I certainly am tempted to follow through with my empty threats."

"That's so nice of you!" said Hichou. "How did I get such an awesome dad?"

"I don't know." Said Neji. "One of us might as well be lucky. I'm certainly not the lucky one. After all, I got stuck with YOU. But then again, if I didn't get stuck with you then you wouldn't have gotten me as your father. Then _I _would have been the lucky one."

"Dad, I don't get it." Said Hichou, looking confused.

"I didn't expect you to." Neji said. "You don't understand most things, Hichou. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go into the No-Hichou Room."

"I hate the No-Hichou Room!" said Hichou sadly. "I hate it when I'm not allowed to be with you, Dad."

"Well, I guess I'm the lucky one this time around." Said Neji as he got up and made his way to the No-Hichou room. You could tell it was the No-Hichou room because there was a big picture of Hichou with a 'No Smoking' thing over his face. Hichou sniffled a little bit and then sat down in front of the door, waiting for his father to emerge so they could play some more!


	54. Here you go TriGai!

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

One day, Shino was sitting in his house. If he had a rocking chair, he would be rocking in it. If he had a pipe, he'd be smoking it. If he had a banjo, he'd be playing it. Unfortunately, he lacked these three items so he was just sitting there foolishly.

"Dad, the mail came." Said his youngest daughter, Sanjo, as she entered the room and handed Shino a stack of mail.

Shino sighed and started sifting through it as Sanjo sat across from him. "Bills, bills, bills, junk…bills…" Shino mumbled to himself when he finally came across a pink envelope.

"That looks like one of Moujo's." Sanjo said.

"It does." Shino said as he opened the letter. "I recognize her pink stationary."

He unfolded the letter and read it over once.

"What does it say?" Sanjo asked.

Shino handed her the letter.

She read it over.

"Already?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's surprising." Shino agreed. "But she did marry an Uchiha."

"That's true." Sanjo said. "Is Jijo home yet?"

"She's upstairs." Shino replied.

"What's the word?" Sanjo asked. "Is she a jounin?"

"She didn't say." Shino answered.

"Oh." Said Sanjo.

The two of them sat there in silence.

"Where's Mom?" Sanjo asked.

"She's at the grocery store." Shino said.

"I thought she hated the grocery store." Sanjo said.

"She does." Shino said. "But we don't have any cheese and she had a craving for grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Good." Said Sanjo. "Mom makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich."

Shino picked the letter back up.

"She didn't say whether it was a boy or a girl." He said, looking over the letter again.

"They don't know yet." Sanjo said. "She only just found out."

"Oh." Said Shino. "I thought the letter was saying she had her child."

Sanjo didn't say anything for a moment. "She said she just found out she was pregnant." She said. "Did you even read it?"

"I skimmed it." Shino answered. "But you needed to read it so I had to give it to you."

"Oh." Said Sanjo.

More silence.

"Why did Jijo go upstairs?" Sanjo asked.

"She didn't say." Shino replied.

"She'll probably want to know that Moujo is pregnant." Sanjo said.

"We'll tell her when she comes downstairs." Shino said.

Just then, Jijo came downstairs.

"Jijo, Moujo is pregnant and did you become a jounin?" Shino asked.

"Yes, and when did we find out she was pregnant?" Jijo said as she sat down next to Sanjo. The two of them looked virtually identical except Jijo had a bow and Sanjo had pigtails, and even though Jijo was seventeen and Sanjo was sixteen, they looked like they could have been TWINS!

"Just now." Sanjo said, pointing at the letter.

"I hope she sacrifices the child to the bugs." Said Shino.

"Senjou probably won't." Jijo said.

"It's not like we have much say in the matter, since he IS the Hokage." Sanjo added.

"I suppose." Shino said. "But the child is part Aburame so it has our advanced bloodline."

The three of them were mightily quiet.

"Any other good news?" Shino asked his daughters.

"My boyfriend asked me to marry him." Sanjo said.

"I hope you said no." Shino said, looking ALMOST concerned.

"I did." Said Sanjo. "I'm far too young to get married."

"I don't want you to see this boyfriend anymore." Shino decided.

"Very well." Said Sanjo. "I may have to rebel."

"Then go to your room." Shino ordered.

"You don't understand me." Said Sanjo as she stood up and went upstairs.

"Father, you did the right thing." Jijo said.

"Did I?" Shino said. "Or am I just getting old?"

"Father, you ARE going to be a grandfather." Jijo pointed out.

"I know." Said Shino. "That will be interesting. It's been a while since I've had to deal with small children." He looked at her. "I hope you plan on waiting a few more years before you get married."

"Father, I don't even have a boyfriend." Jijo said.

"Good." Said Shino. "I expect it to stay that way for a few more years."

"I may have to rebel." Jijo said.

"I expected so much." Shino said. "You go to room as well."

"That's not fair." Said Jijo as she stood up and went to her room.

Shino was once again alone in the room.

After a few moments of reflection, Shino went upstairs and summoned his daughters to where he could speak to them together. "Come on." He said. "Let's go to Friendly's."

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" cheered Lil Gai as he ran into Chuck E. Cheese's and was followed by an attractive young woman and two extremely small children who were cheering just as enthusiastically and loudly as he was.

"I love Chuck E. Cheese!" said one of the kids.

"ME TOO!!" said the other one.

"Lil Gai, this was such a great idea to plan a random trip to Chuck E. Cheese!" said the woman.

"Thanks, Ikkaku!" said Lil Gai contently. "But it wasn't just for Lee-Three and Tri-Gai, it was for US too! After all, it IS our anniversary!"

Ikkaku gasped. "You remembered!" she exclaimed.

"Of course I remembered!" said Lil Gai as he dove to get the best seat that had easy access to the token machine, snack bar AND a bunch of games and the balls too. You can see why they like that seat so much. "That's why we're here!"

"Dad, can I have some tokens?!" asked one of the kids that looked exactly like him.

"Of course, Lee-Three!" said Lil Gai as he reached into his pocket and pulled out tokens that they hadn't used from last time.

"Me too!" said the second child that looked absolutely nothing like him, and bore more of a resemblance to Ikkaku.

"Here you go Tri-Gai!" said Lil Gai as he gave an equal amount to the second one.

The two of them sprinted off to play some games.

"Oh, Lil Gai, I only wish that Tri-Gai had the same youth as you and Lee-Three." Said Ikkaku with a dreamy sigh. Then her eyes lit up. "Can I have some tokens too??"

"SURE!!" said Lil Gai as he pulled tokens out from his bottomless pockets and the two of them ran off to play some games. After lots of good fun, the family of four decided twas time to…PLAY IN THE BALLS!!!

"WEEEEEEEE!!!" said Ikkaku as she leapt into the balls and created a grand splash.

"ME NEXT!!!" said Lil Gai as he jumped in as well, and was quickly followed by the ever-so fraternal twins.

The four of them chuckled warmly as they swam around, threw things at each other and frolicked about, not allowing very many other people the opportunity to enter because they feared for their safety.

Eventually, when they were sweaty and smelly, it was time to eat and trade in their tickets for prizes.

"This is the best anniversary ever!" said Ikkaku as she took a slice of greasy overpriced pizza.

"Only the best for my beautiful wife!" said Lil Gai as he ate some pizza too.

They chuckled warmly as a black circle engulfed them and all four did the nice guy pose.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

Shikataro gave a heavy sigh and gazed out the window of his bedroom. He was being all angsty.

He was also wearing a black tuxedo, like the ones men wear at formal events. But his hair was still blond and spikey like Vash the Stampede.

He heard the front door open and then close. Slowly, someone was coming up the stairs, rounding the corner, and then his door opened. He turned around to see his father, Shikamaru, standing before him, also wearing a black tuxedo.

"Dad…" he started.

"Shikataro." Shikamaru interrupted. "What…the hell?"

"I just couldn't do it, Dad." Shikataro sighed.

"The FIRST time, it's forgivable." Shikamaru said. "I actually felt sorry for you. The second time was troublesome. The third time was outrageous. But come on… that was the FOURTH TIME you ran away from your wedding."

"I just can't find the right woman." Said Shikataro.

"Then stop proposing to the wrong woman!" Shikamaru said angrily. "I have absolutely NO pity for you anymore! If they had proposed to you then that would be one thing but YOU'RE the one who sets all this in motion, and then you don't have the nerve to call it off BEFORE the priest as gotten all the way up to asking you to say the 'I do'. And you don't even explain anything! You just SPRINT off!"

"Dad—"

"And then you come back HERE to angst?" Shikamaru continued. "You should at least go someplace where we won't be able to find you for a couple of days."

"I just feel so much pressure on me to get married." Shikataro sighed.

"Shikataro." Said Shikamaru. "I have never ONCE pressured you AT ALL to get married. In fact, if you remember correctly, I'm the one advising against it and warning you about how troublesome women are."

"Not from YOU." Said Shikataro. "But from everyone else. I'm still bothered by tabloids and magazines just because you were the Hokage. I'm tired of being the '1st Most Eligible Bachelor'."

"Yeah but…by foolishly running away, you just appear in MORE magazines as the unattainable guy." Shikamaru reminded him.

"I'm just not meant to get married!" said Shikataro in a self deprecating fashion.

"Neither was I." Shikamaru said. "But I bit the bullet."

"That was different." Said Shikataro. "You were the Hokage."

"Shikataro, don't turn this into a conversation about me." Said Shikamaru. "We were discussing your lack of balls. You're a MAN, Shikataro, so start acting like one. Either get married or stop proposing to women."

"Fine." Said Shikataro. "I'll do just that. I'll remain forever as…The Most Eligible Bachelor in Konoha!"

"Whatever." Said Shikamaru. "Just don't have another wedding unless you're actually going to go through with it or I will disown you."

He slammed the door and went downstairs.


	55. I’ve always wanted to go on a safari!

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"Lee!" Tenten called as she opened the door and was followed by two mini-Lees, one of which was female. "Your grandchildren are here!"

"Hurray!" Lee said, poking his head around the corner. "Come over here, kids! I have a surprise for you!"

"Don't tell me…" Tenten mumbled as she went around the corner with the kids and saw that Lee was standing there in full battle garb.

"YAY!!!" cheered the boy who was about eleven. "Grandpa is going to train us!"

"That's correct, Kikei!" said Lee, ruffling the boy's hair. "But, of course, AFTER your haircut!" He held up a pair of scissors and a razor.

"YAY!!" cheered Kikei again.

"Actually—" started the girl hesitantly. "Dad says no giving Kikei a haircut…"

"Thank you, Henshu." Said Tenten with a sigh. "I thought I was going to have to do something drastic to pry those from his fingers."

"Why can't I get a haircut like Grandpa, Uncle Lil Gai, Grandpa Gai, Lee-Three and Tri-Gai?" said Kikei, looking depressed. "I feel so left out! You wouldn't know, Henshu, because you're not one of the guys."

"It's true." Said Lee. "This style of hair has been passed down for generations. ALL us Rock men have it! Well, except you and your father."

"It's not fair!!" cried Kikei.

"Anyway…" Tenten said, trying to change the subject. "Lee, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't be training Kikei and Henshu today. Lil Lee said that he didn't want you to hurt yourself like last time."

"Pa-SHAW!" said Lee. "I'm in the best shape of my life!"

"Lee, you can't possibly believe that's true." Tenten said.

"It IS true!" said Lee. "I'm as fit as a fiddle!"

"Kids, why don't you go and do something to occupy your time?" Tenten suggested, trying to move them away from Lee.

"Can we train even if Grandpa isn't going to do it with us?" Henshu asked.

"Of course you can." Tenten said.

"There's no point if Grandpa isn't doing it with us!" said Kikei.

"Run fifty laps around the house!" Lee ordered.

"I have no problem with that, as long as you aren't doing it too." Tenten said.

"But I must!" Lee said passionately. "I need to get my blood moving and move these old bones!"

"Lee, I'm going to get violent in a minute if you don't start talking rationally." Tenten warned.

"Oh fine…" Lee said with a pout as he sat down and watched the two kids run outside. "Tenten! Oh how I miss having small children running around the house! Literally!"

"Yeah…I suppose I miss it to an extent." Tenten agreed. "But I don't know if I'd ever want to go back to that time."

"Do you remember when WE were small children??" Lee said excitedly.

"To an extent." Tenten said. "That was… a long time ago…" She gave a heavy sigh. She hated being sixty.

"Yeah…" Lee said. "I never thought I'd ever be at the point that I could say, 'I remember fifty years ago when—'…do you know what I mean, Tenten?"

"Unfortunately." Tenten said uneasily.

"Hey Tenten…" said Lee. "Do you think Lil Lee will get married again and have another child?"

"That is doubtful." Tenten said. "He has two kids already and he spends all his time on missions. Besides, he's getting older."

"Not as old as US!" said Lee gleefully.

"Lee…you enjoy aging too much." Tenten said, almost losing the will to live.

"I'm just optimistic!" Lee said.

"I know." Said Tenten. "And sometimes… it's a little overwhelming."

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

Tashoku and Sasuke Jr. had many, many children. First there was the oldest, Sasuke III, who had recently developed his Sharingan and was a genin at the age of thirteen. Next was Little Kiba, age twelve, who had just gone off to retrieve his forehead protector from the academy. Futami was an outspoken little ten year old girl, and Kasei was an eight-year-old shier version of her older sister. Hanao was six, and was trying desperately to learn the fire moves that never work, but she wasn't expected to learn them for another few years. Fushi and Mayumi, ages four and two respectively, spent most of their time coloring but eventually they'd enter the academy too. Then, after the long streak of girls, the final child was named Kouichi, the brand new bundle of joy just brought home from the hospital a few weeks ago.

"Tashoku…" Sasuke Jr. said slowly.

"What?" Tashoku said.

"I think we should have another son." He said.

"If you think—" started Tashoku but she was interrupted by the front door slamming open.

"MOM!!! DAD!!" came Little Kiba's voice as he sprinted into the room where his parents were while holding a forehead protector. "Look!! I'm officially a genin!!"

"That's GREAT, Kiba!" said Tashoku, trying to look excited though she was very tired, what with a new baby and all, and now Sasuke Jr. was bringing up having ANOTHER child?

"So now you're a genin like me!" said Sasuke III. "But you don't have the Sharingan yet."

"You didn't have the Sharingan when you were my age!" Little Kiba argued. "You just got it!"

"So?" said Sasuke III. "I still have it!"

"That's enough arguing…" Tashoku said.

"Let them duke it out." Said Sasuke Jr. "Then they'll be more motivated to train harder."

Then the phone rang.

"I'll get it!" said Futami as she hopped off the table and picked up the phone. "Hello? Hi Grandpa! I'm good."

"Dad, how do the hand seals go?" Hanao asked Sasuke Jr. randomly as she tried to fumble her hands into the correct positions for the fire moves that never work.

"No, like this." Kasei said, since she was also in the process of learning them.

"More like this." Sasuke Jr. said, showing them the correct way of doing it.

"Sasuke…" said Tashoku. "You have eight children. You don't need anymore."

"Yes I do." Said Sasuke Jr. simply.

"No you don't." Tashoku retorted just as simply.

"Come on, Tashoku." Said Sasuke Jr. "I have to have the most kids. We don't have ANY multiple births… and Senjou had triplets on his first try! So he got that extra jump on me. He already has four kids, and Inoshi has five… and Hana's well on her way to her first. Who knows how many she'll have after that?"

"You don't need to have more children than your siblings." Tashoku said.

"Yes I do." Said Sasuke Jr. "I'm the oldest. I have to lead the new clan."

"Don't turn the size of your family into a competition." Tashoku said. "Because I'M the one suffering from it and doing all the work! You're just sitting by and watching."

"It's hard work to deal with a pregnant woman." Sasuke Jr. said. "And you've been pregnant for pretty much the entire fifteen years I've been married to you."

"I KNOW." Said Tashoku with a glare. "Let's think about whose fault that is."

"It's no one's FAULT…" Sasuke Jr. started.

Tashoku sighed again. "Kouichi's crying…" she said.

"Do you want to take care of it?" Sasuke Jr. asked.

"Yeah right, Sasuke, like I'D want to take care of it." Said Tashoku with another glare.

"Fine, I'll take care of it." Sasuke Jr. rolled his eyes as he stood up. He thought that maybe that wasn't the best time to bring up the fact that he wanted to have at least TWO more children, just to make sure he'd have that edge over his siblings.

"Mom, Kiba and I are going to go train in the backyard!" said Sasuke III.

"Wait, I want to tell Grandpa that I'm a genin!" said Little Kiba as he ran over to Futami who was still on the phone with Grandpa.

"I'm talking to Grandpa!" said Futami, trying to push Little Kiba away.

"I just want to tell him that I'm a genin!" said Little Kiba.

"Tell him LATER!" said Futami.

"I want to tell him NOW!" said Little Kiba.

"Futami, let Kiba talk to Grandpa!" said Tashoku, not even sure which Grandpa it was. Though she figured it was Sasuke, because only Sasuke would sit there on the line and NOT tell Futami to let him talk to Little Kiba. She'd also be able to hear own father's overly enthusiastic greetings and cheers.

"Kiba, I'm only going to train right now and I don't want to wait any longer!" said Sasuke III impatiently.

"FINE!" said Little Kiba since Futami wasn't going to surrender the phone.

"Mom, I still can't use the fire moves!" Kasei complained.

"That's something you have to talk to your father about." Tashoku said.

"I want to do the fire moves." Said Hanao sadly.

"MOM!" screamed Fushi suddenly. "Mayumi took my crayon!!"

"Fushi…" sighed Tashoku. "There are plenty of other crayons you can use."

"But I want the purple one!"

"Then use a different purple one."

"But this is the one that isn't broken!" said Fushi as she tried to steal the crayon from Mayumi.

"No!" said Mayumi as Fushi wrenched the crayon from her. She started to cry, and when Fushi realized she had accidentally broken the crayon, she started to cry as well.

Then Sasuke Jr. walked in with the crying baby.

"I leave for two seconds and everyone starts screaming." He said.

"Sasuke, Kiba, go outside." Tashoku ordered. The two shrugged and went outside. "Futami, get off the phone! Sasuke, do something to get Fushi and Mayumi to stop crying! And teach Kasei and Hanao how to do the fire moves and make Kouichi be quiet!"

"Tashoku…whoa." Said Sasuke Jr.

Tashoku took a deep breath as Futami said goodbye to her grandfather and hung up the phone.

"Kasei, Hanao," Sasuke Jr. said. "If you go outside, I'll be outside in a bit and we'll practice more."

"Okay!" they both cheered as they frolicked outside.

Sasuke Jr. pulled a stash of crayons out from on top of the refrigerator and gave them to Fushi and Mayumi. Then he gave Kouichi a bottle and he stopped crying.

All of a sudden, everything was quiet.

"Ta-da." Sasuke Jr. said.

Tashoku rubbed her temples. "I'm not having anymore children."

"We can handle it." Sasuke Jr. said.

"YOU can." Tashoku said. "I can't."

"Sure you can." Said Sasuke Jr.

"NO I can't so stop saying that." Tashoku said, getting angry.

"Here you go." Said Sasuke Jr., handing Kouichi to Tashoku. "I have to go outside and teach Kasei and Hanao how to do the fire moves." He glanced out the window. "And make sure Sasuke and Kiba don't kill each other."

"All right…" said Tashoku as she took Kouichi and watched him go outside.

"Mom…" said Futami. "Can I go over Grandpa's house?"

"Uh…sure…" said Tashoku. "Just tell your father where you're going."

"Okay!" said Futami as she went out the back door.

Tashoku leaned against the wall and wondered when she had suddenly accumulated eight children, and feared her inevitable fate of having a few more.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

"DAD!" cheered Sasuke Two. "I can't believe it! This is great! We're finally on the safari we've been planning for years!"

"Yeah!" said Itachi. "I wanted to take you on a safari for your twenty-fifth birthday, but that obviously didn't happen! So then I was going to shoot for my seventieth birthday but I just COULDN'T pass up this opportunity!"

"I've always wanted to go on a safari!!" said Sasuke Two.

The two of them rode around contently on their safari when, all of a sudden, a lion jumped out of the bushes and ate them both.

Meanwhile, Sasuke suddenly jumped a bit.

"Sasuke?" Ino said, noticing this.

"Something…wonderful just happened." He said.

"What?" asked Ino.

"I don't know what." Sasuke confessed.

"It was probably Tashoku having another kid." Ino said.

"No, they still have another few months." Sasuke said.

ONE YEAR LATER!!!

One day, Chouji was out getting the mail. He took the letters out the mailbox and sorted through them until he came across one that seemed out of place. Much to his joy and surprise, the return address simply said, 'Nara Shikamaru'.

"Shikamaru wrote me a letter!" Chouji cheered happily as he sprinted back in his house and slammed the door behind him. He tore the letter open like a buzz saw.

"_Chouji—"_ the letter began plainly. _"It's been a long time since we last spoke. I'm glad you've finally been honoring the restraining order I put in place. And I just want you to know that I appreciate it and therefore, I have decided to lift it."_

Chouji gasped and fainted.

A half an hour later, he woke up, collected himself and then picked up the letter again to finish reading it.

"_My reasoning for this is, in part, because we all know that we're only getting older, which means we are getting closer to the time in which we will all leave this world. I would like to leave this world with you as my friend as opposed to someone who creeps me out and I avoid at all costs and, if ever I think I see you in a crowd, I don't have to double check."_

"Oh Shikamaru!" said Chouji as he wiped a tear from his eye.

"_However, I don't want you to think that this means you'll suddenly get all your visiting privileges back right away. This needs to be a gradual change. To start the cycle of healing, I would like you invite you to Shikataro's wedding next month. Please reply via the mailing system and no other way."_

"Of course I will come!!" Chouji exclaimed excitedly. He was just so happy that Shikamaru lifted the restraining order that he would have gone ANYWHERE at ANY TIME as long as he got to see Shikamaru!!

So Chouji scribed a long letter to Shikamaru, thanking him profusely and accepting the invitation, and then sent the letter off to be mailed.

And then Chouji…um… went and ate something.


	56. It would be nice to finally meet her

TEN YEARS LATER!!!

"Wow!" said Kiba to Hinata as the two of them sat at the kitchen table. "Twenty-five years come and gone. I'm so glad that our 50th anniversary is next week so we can see all our old friends again."

Hinata nodded. "Let's just go through our invitations to make sure we have everything right." She said.

"Okay, Hinata." Said Kiba.

"First." Hinata said, clearing her throat as she picked up the invitation on the top of the pile. "Sasuke and Ino."

"They BETTER be coming!" said Kiba. "They're like our siblings."

"They are." Hinata said.

"Okay good. What about Tashoku?"

"She and Sasuke are coming." Hinata said, going to the next invitation. "And they're bringing all of their children!"

"All ten of them?!" Kiba gasped.

"Yes." Hinata said. "And the great-grandchildren too."

"Sasuke IV and Kiba Jr. are coming?" Kiba said, looking excited. "I haven't seen those little guys for a while."

"We have to visit them more." Hinata said, moving on to the next card. "Inoshi and Kihou are coming and they're bringing four of their five children. Their oldest is going to be on a mission then."

"Geez…" Kiba said. "The place is going to be full of Uchihas."

"And that's not all…" Hinata went on. "Senjou and Moujo can both make it and so can all six of their children."

"Seriously?" said Kiba.

"And so can Shika and Cho… and Hana and Kare, as well as their five children." Hinata said, looking a little distraught. "Oh! Did you hear Hana is pregnant again?"

"Really?" said Kiba. "Wow. You know, all I ever see when I think about those little Uchihas is back when they were little kids in my class and I was teaching them. It's so weird to imagine that they have kids of their own."

"You don't have to imagine it." Hinata said. "So all except one of the Uchiha clan can make it."

"What is that…forty?" said Kiba.

"Well…forty-one… with Hana's new baby…" Hinata corrected.

"Whoa." Said Kiba.

"Anyway…" Hinata said, putting those invitations aside. "Naruto and Sakura both could make it as well."

"Woo-hoo." Said Kiba. "And I take it their kids can make it too?"

"Yes…Pansuke can too." Said Hinata.

"Wait…did you say 'Pansuke'?" Kiba said. "As in not 'Pansuke and Kobiru'? Just plain old 'Pansuke'?"

"Yes." Said Hinata. "Pansuke divorced Kobiru. I thought I told you that!"

"You didn't!" said Kiba.

"But all three of his kids are coming." Hinata said. "So that's three more to add to the list."

"So Kobiru's stench is still going to be there anyway?" Kiba said, looking sad.

"Well, only one of his sons are Kobiru's." Hinata said. "His second son is from a different wife. And his third son… well, let's just say that he was a bit of an accident."

"I'll tell you what was the accident." Said Kiba. "Marrying Kobiru, that's what."

Hinata sighed and couldn't help but agree. "Kajitsu and her husband are coming too, along with their too kids."

"Why are we inviting all these random people?" Kiba asked.

"Because they came to our previous anniversary, AND you taught them in the academy." Hinata reminded him. "Plus, they're the children of our friends. Speaking of our friends, Lee and Tenten could make it too."

"And I take it their offspring as well as their offspring's offspring are going to be there too?" Kiba said.

Hinata nodded. "They will be." She said. "I can't wait to see how much Gai's little twins have grown! Shouldn't they be twelve about now?"

"I have no idea!" said Kiba.

"And I heard Lee's first son's daughter recently joined ANBU." Hinata went on.

"That's good for her." Said Kiba. "_I _never joined ANBU."

"I never said you did." Hinata said, going on to the next invitation. "Oh! Shikamaru said he could make it at the last minute!"

"Lucky us!" said Kiba, sounding a little sarcastic.

"But it doesn't say whether or not his son will be coming…" Hinata said, looking at the back of the invitation.

"Shikataro?" said Kiba. "He's a troublemaker!"

"No, I don't think so." Said Hinata. "Just because he wants to stay single…"

"He's been in the in the top five of the Top Fifty Most Intriguing People of the Year for the past six years!" said Kiba, grabbing the magazine that he just so happened to have handy. "All because he's the Hokage's son and no one can get him to marry her!"

"Does that offend you, Kiba?" said Hinata with almost a laugh.

"Yeah…" said Kiba. "I hate it when people are part of the list when they don't deserve it…"

"Anyway…" Hinata said, going for the next invitation. "Shino! He says he's coming, AND he's bringing Tsuma."

"It would be nice to finally meet her." Said Kiba. "Have you ever thought that maybe he made her up and she doesn't really exist?"

"Well…no…" Hinata said. "He has daughters."

"That's true…" Kiba said with a nod. "Speaking of which, are they coming?"

"Jijo is bringing her husband and her two sons." Hinata nodded. "And Sanjo is bringing her husband AND son."

"So we'll have an abundance of Aburames! Hurray!" Kiba cheered. "Not quite as much Aburames as there are Uchihas, but hey! We can't ALL be perfect!"

Hinata moved onto the next one. "And…we just got Neji's RSVP…"

"And?" Kiba said.

"He's coming…" Hinata said painfully.

"That's too bad." Kiba said. "But I guess there has to be SOME of your family at this anniversary."

"He's also bringing his son and grandson." Hinata went on.

Kiba paused. "…Okay…" he said. "He's bringing his son? Isn't his son… forty or something?"

"Thirty-eight." Hinata said.

"Right." Said Kiba. "Shouldn't he have sent his OWN RSVP? Is he STILL living with Neji?"

"I guess he is." Hinata shrugged, trying to go to the last letter. "And, well. Chouji. He's coming too."

"Chouji WHO?" said Kiba.

"You know, Akimichi Chouji." Said Hinata.

"I know, Hinata." Said Kiba. "I was being sarcastic because we never see him unless it's an anniversary or some kind of get together party."

"I see." Said Hinata, making a nice, neat pile of invitations. "Well! That's everyone that's coming!"

"This is going to be some party!" said Kiba. "How many is that total?"

"Well…" Hinata said. "Not including anyone from your family…" she took a deep breath. "Seventy-three…"

"SEVENTY-THREE?!" Kiba exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table and standing up. "How did it get to be so much?! That's my AGE for crying out loud!"

"I know…" Hinata said. "And with your family, it'll be a little over a hundred…"

"Over a hundred?!" Kiba said, sitting back down. "At two hundred dollars a head?! That's an absurd amount of money! How are we going to afford that?!"

"We'll manage…" Hinata said. "It's our fiftieth anniversary…"

"This is outrageous!" said Kiba. "Oh, where did I go wrong?? I'm a bad husband, a bad ninja, a bad teacher, a bad father! A TERRIBLE son! Hinata, speaking of sons, why didn't WE ever have a son?! I failed in ANOTHER aspect! The Inuzuka clan as we know it will die out because I never produced a male heir!! What am I going to do? Hinata, forgiving the fact that I'm an awful husband and father and various other things, I failed as a PERSON! Why didn't I see this before? Why is it that, only in the face of the crisis that will become of our anniversary that I am DESTINED to ruin, do I realize this?!"

"Kiba…" Hinata said slowly.

"What's WORSE, Hinata!" Kiba went on as he got up and started pacing. "I can't hold it in any longer! That cursed Uchiha child that forced our daughter into marriage has turned her into a slave to her children in her own home! Tashoku just wanted a small family and now she has ten children just for the sake of the Uchiha clan expanding and successfully costing us a FORTUNE! We'll go bankrupt all because of them!"

Hinata rubbed her face a little bit as Kiba continued to rant.

"KIBA." She said, raising her voice a bit.

Kiba stopped and looked at her. "Yes, Hinata?"

"Just…shut up."


End file.
